Author's Note: In an attempt to apologize, I bring to you part 1 of a twoshot I'm working on! Next Part comes tomorrow/later today, since for me it's just after 1 A.M. ^^;; ~ I also listened to the song, Distance by Secondhand Serenade while writing this. You'll find connections between the song and the story, as well as even the title. You can listen to it, but it is not a necessity. Lusaun/ / Leon / Mr. L /Haruhi

I'll Only Scream Louder

Tamaki Suoh closed his eyes, not being able to bare the pain any longer. He didn't want to watch the place he had known for so long disappear behind him. He couldn't handle it. He had just been pulled out of school, leave everything and everyone behind him, to move. That was what his Grandmother wanted, and so, of course he had no choice in the matter, along with his father. A certain girl plagued his mind, one that held one of the biggest places in his heart... The reason it was hardest to leave. A girl with the brightest brown eyes, so large and expressive, as well as warm and kind. A girl with hair chopped short, that she made look so adorable. A girl who wasn't the make-up, girly girl, cutesy type, but he thought was always the cutest girl in the whole school, no matter what she did. A girl who'd rather wear a more tomboyish style, over her "prettier" girly look her father preferred for her, and made look so stunningly gorgeous on her. A girl with a strong, independent, intelligent, and just full out amazing personality. A girl named Haruhi Fujioka. He had never wanted to leave her, not for one minute. He cared for the girl too much. He had promised her... He promised to be there for her, whenever she needed him. In a way... wasn't he breaking that promise? Especially when he wasn't even given the chance to tell her good bye? Before he knew it, he could feel a sudden warmth slipping down his face, and for a moment he wondered... Was it blood? He opened his eyes, causing them to sting, as he brushes away the substance away. No, of course it wasn't blood, only tears... He had started crying. That wasn't all surprising for the blond. He was a lot more emotional and open about it than most guys. He held no problems with that. But what he did have a problem with was the reason why he was crying.

He sighs and rests his head against the passenger side window, violet eyes closing once more. I just hope she doesn't hate me for this... he thought to himself in his misery. Maybe that was him overreacting, but maybe he wasn't. Haruhi was oone of those people who didn''t hold grudges, unless it was something serious. Even then, it's rare that she really stayed mad for too long. But how would she forgive this? The whole trip passed in silence. He just couldn't find his voice anymore... Maybe he had left it with the brunette girl who also held his heart, in hopes she'd come back to return one of the two, but still hold the other. She could have both. They'd always belong to her. His voice for the sweet words he should have told her, the words that should have been said along with his ramblings of her cuteness and beauty. His voice so that when she needed to hear him, she could know just how amazing she was, and how wonderful she would continue to be. His heart that would alway beat for her, reminding her how much he seemed to have fallen for her, without his realization. He held so much love and tender care for her, but he just didn't notice it was love, until he had to leave, and his reluctance told him it was. How foolish... Of course, the man who goes on about love, and how everyone needs it, and helps bring love to one and all, does notice when he is truly in love, until it is too late... The cruel irony. A soft, crestfallen like chuckle passed his lips at the thought. If he was lucky... Maybe it wasn't too late.

A number of years had passed since the day he had moved. Now close to almost being twenty, he walked through town, his beautiful fiancée-to-be on his arm. Well, beautiful outer appearance, of course. But, looks only truly got you so far. But, in her case... Her beauty and her influence in Japan, meaning money and what her family owns, made her one of his main canidates to be the one he married. His Grandmother's orders, to say the least. He was lucky he could so easily compliment and be such a gentleman to even the slyest, conniving girls he's ever met. He was sure she could get away with murder, just with a bat of her eyelashes, an innocent, tearful face, and soft, heart wrenching voice as she spoke. And if that didn't work, it either led to money, or a sudden seductress at your side, or even black-mail. Which ever she had to use to get her way. But, love didn't matter in this situation, as he certainly did not love her. His Grandmother just wanted their families together... And whatever she wanted, she got. He looked down to the woman, seeing an ever familiar, innocuous look from her, as she smiles so gracefully. Her blue eyes were like a clear river, sparkling in the sunlight, as her golden blond hair feel into little bunches at the tips.

"René, darling, you seem to be zoning off again~" she points out to him with a small laugh, a sound of tinkling bells in a gentle breeze. "Is something troubling you?" The blond male smiles and shakes his head with a small laugh.

"No, not at all, Princess~. I must have gotten lost iin your beauty again," he replies with an adoring purr in his voice, making her her laugh lightly once more. He was not lying to her, no. Not about her beauty, she certainly had her moments of purity... It was just usually hidden by her darker moments that she only let show when need be. Otherwise, everyone else only saw her sweet, outer beauty, and an inner beauty constructed by cardboard. Flimsy and easily breakable, if you use enough force. But once that force is applied and the cardboard is torn, there was no unseeing what was truly underlying within her.

"Good, I was beginning to grow a bit worried about you... As long as you're alright..." she went on, before she gently rested her head on his arm, humming softly. He allowed her to rest a bit against him, closing his eyes a moment, while they walked through the town together.

"Yes, I'm fine, Sachiko. No need to worry about me~" he assured her once more. Then, suddenly, he almost froze on the spot, his eyes widening in shock. His heart jumped in his chest, such a foreign feeling after all these years, as he looked across the street. He saw a girl with straight brown hair cascading down to just above her shoulders, a simple black headband pulling back her bangs, sitting outside a cafe with someone else. With her bangs pulled back, and her face turning towards him a bit, while she spoke, he could see her face much more clearly. Large, expressive brown eyes that had haunted his dreams and graced him with such warmth and care in the past. She wore a simple light blue t-shirt with a tank-top that appeared to be made with a somewhat see through material of white and darker blue spots. Then shorts that came just above her knees and tennis shoes. An ever familiar not too girly, not too tomboyish style she had adopted and seemed to have kept over the years, to balance what she and her father wanted. The girl he saw was the girl he had left his heart with... Haruhi Fujioka. Out of the heat of the moment, he suddenly found himself calling out to her.

"Haruhi!" he calls out, but obviously no where near loud enough. She didn't even flinch, but the woman he was suppose to be wedded to eventually certainly did. Her blue eyes shot open, and she looked up at him, clearly confused. Before she could speak, he tried again in calling out to her.

"HARUHI!" he yelled out, a little louder then. That time, he got a bit more of a reaction from the woman he was trying to contact. The brunette looked about, blinking in confusion, but could not seemed to find him. He went to wave to her to fully get her attention, but Sachiko reached over and grabbed his arm. Rather forcefully, she shoved his hand back down, shooting him a glare.

"Just what do you think you're doing, Tamaki?!" she hisses at him, envy tinging her angered tone, once kind and bright blue eyes now flashing menacingly. Seems she didn't like competition. And he knew that too well. He managed to pull his arm free from her.

"Trying to talk to an old friend, dear, that's all. I haven't seen her in years," he answers hastily, now watching in panic as Haruhi had started getting up with her friend. This could be his only shot! He moves away from the blonde, clingy woman, to take a few steps after her, though they were on opposite sides of the road. He wanted to be sure she got a clear view of him, after all! Cars rushed by in their afternoon traffic, causing it to be a bit more diffiicult to be heard. But, knowing this could be his only chance to get to talk to her, even one last time, gave him the determination to try one last time. He took a deep breath and finally yelled out, "HARUHI!" towards her, and that finally got her complete attention. This time, the girl's head snapped towards his voice, as if shocked that either a.) 'someone was yelling at her from aross the street, what?' or b.) 'maybe she recognized his voice and wants to be sure it's him', or both. Probably both. But then, her brown eyes met his own violet ones, and a sudden smile filled her features. She went to wave to him, but then stopped, just as Tamaki felt a familiar grasp around his arm. He looked to see his fianceé-to-be throwing a kind of look that clearly stated, 'He is mine. Stay the hell away.' towards his friend, and true love, causing his heart to break all over again. He looked back saw her seem to frown almost immediately and glance down. To which he shook his head desperately, trying to deny that this was his choice, since it wasn't. He needed her to know that he didn't love this woman. He needed her to know that of all the beautiful girls in this world, the only one in his world was suppose to be her. Not Sachiko. But he couldn't voice it in front of her... Please don't hate me too... I dispise myself enough knowing I must have hurt you so... I'm so sorry, Haruhi. he thought in his head.

Haruhi must have caught his denial, for now a slightly more interested expression took her face, as she stopped. And then, she turned to someone, a complete stranger, causing great confusion for the blond man. What on Earth was she doing? Knowing her, anything.

"Tamaki, let's go," the deceiving woman told him, before she looked at him. Her eyes seemed to try to slash out at him, to punish him for going to such lengths to talk to another woman. And she was using the name he commonly went by, over his true first name. He was more than likely in trouble with her, no doubt. Oh well.

"Why don't you go on ahead, Princess, in here~? This is your favorite place, is it not?" he then suggests, nodding towards one of her favorite jewelry stores. That suggestion was rewarded with another look, in which he responded to with, "I'll be in there in just a moment. I only wish to call and check in, so no one is worried about us. You know our families tend to worry for our safety." Ok, he'll lie a bit about something like that, but only because this was important. Finally, Sachiko seemed at least a bit more content, as she smiles some, nodding.

"Alright, René. I'll see you inside in a few moments... But don't you dare let me hear word that you were with that woman," she warns darkly, a forbidding look crossing her features. Then, as quickly as that look came, it was replaced with that familiar innocence, as she smiles, leaning up to kiss his cheek. Oh, how two-faced she was, especially to him. Flip flopping names and giving mixed signals... How tiresome sometimes, trying to figure out how to make that woman happy and stay happy... Then she left for the building beside them. Tamaki quickly looks, just in time to see Haruhi suddenly pointing towards him, handing the stranger a folded up piece of paper. The unfamiliar woman nods and smiles, as she accepts what she is given. The brunette woman he loved then looked to him once more, giving him a smile and a wave, before she left once more with her friend. A quizical expression was very apparent on his face, as he watched her leave. What was all that about...? And then, he watched as that same stranger Haruhi had spoken to so briskly, started to venture to his side of the road. She was careful to wait until the light turned red, and the sign told her it was safe to walk. Finally after agonizing moments that seemed to last an eternity each, she was there. A smile was on her face, as she holds out what appeared to be a card to him.

"Here. That girl said you two knew each other? She told me to give you this," she then tells him. The blond man nods, as he gratefully accepts the little gift.

"Yes, thank you very much, ma'am," he replies to her, before nodding to her as she left. He then quickly opens up the note, looking it over to see in Haruhi's handwritting, a phone number, and words that said, 'Call me when possible. Any time is fine. H.F.' Good, she didn't write her name... H.F. could easily mean anyone. He slips the important note into his pocket, before he headed inside once more. He would call her tonight.