Dreams
Thursday, July 30th
Sometimes I have dreams, but I don't always remember what happens in them. Sometimes I feel happy, angry, or sad. I think I play quidditch in some, and I might have dueled in others. I don't really remember them; they're very vague memories now.
But I do remember a boy, no, a young man. He has messy, black hair, a gentle smile, and bright green eyes… Oh, and a weird lightning bolt scar on his forehead… I wonder who he is.
I don't remember a lot of things now. I can't remember any of my childhood, only that I was scared and frightened of a man with long, platinum blond hair and the sweet smell of vanilla. I only remember a little bit from my school days. A redheaded boy laughing at me, and a girl with bushy hair hitting me.
I remember gazing and sleeping under the stars with my green-eyed friend and eating chocolate with him. I think it felt….nice. Was he a good friend? Maybe a lover?
Oh. The dark haired man that smells of potions is coming... He's the one who told me to write in a journal in the first place. So I wouldn't forget.
Friday, July 31st
Today's the 31st… Somehow, I feel like that's an important day. Maybe it was, once, a long time ago. It can't be a holiday, so an anniversary, perhaps? Or a birthday? I'm not sure.
I don't quite understand why the dark hair man keeps looking like me that way, like, he almost feels sorry for me. And what does that have to do with the boy in the newspaper? The boy from my dreams with messy black hair and green eyes. It seems like I've met them before...maybe they knew me? That happens a lot nowadays, I always see people I think I know, and yet I don't.
I haven't left this house for a long time…maybe a year or so? Yes, that's right. It's been about a year since I woke up, I think. But then I was in a white room…sterile, almost, like a hospital. The nurse was named after a flower…Daisy? Peony? I don't know.
I knew someone else named after a flower, didn't I? A lady that was with that blond man. I think she had blonde hair too. I think she loved me. I wonder who she was.
I hate not remembering anything
The dark man is calling for me now.
August 1st
Yesterday I had a visitor. The boy, or rather, man, with black hair and green eyes. He said his name was Harry. Harry- that's a nice name, I like it. He said he knew me from before, and that we had been in school together. He cried a bit, and hugged me, he felt warm, I liked it. He said he was sorry. I didn't understand, still don't. What was he sorry for? He left quite quickly…I wonder why. He seemed nice though, I hope he comes back to visit again. I don't get to see many people except the potions man…and the older one with a long white beard and blue eyes (which often sparkle like fairy dust).
August 2nd
I had another dream last night…of the boy who came. I'm not sure where we were, but I had some other boys with me…To be honest, they looked like trolls. But I was talking to the green eyed boy, I think I asked him if he would be my friend. I think, no, I know that I felt nervous, scared, even. The dream ended then, so I'm not sure of his answer. I would hope that it was a "yes" though.
I snuck a peek at the papers earlier. The front page announced that the green eyed man was going to marry a redheaded girl. I should be happy for them…But, somehow, it hurts. I'm not sure why, but it feels like my chest is empty.
I told the dark man that I'd go to sleep, even though it's quite early. Here he comes…with some soup and my daily potions.
Maybe later I'll tell him that it hurts. Maybe he can give me another potion to make the pain stop.
"It's time to eat now. And don't forget to take the potions." Slowly, the young man drifted off to sleep as the elder man sat at his bedside, reading the newspaper. "It seems that Mr. Potter is marrying the Weasley girl." Severus sighed and placed the newspaper on the table. "Perhaps it's better that you've forgotten about the love you shared. This would only have broken your heart. Still, you might have been happy with him, Draco."