Do not even ASK where this came from…
Its for my dear, insane brother. He seems to be under the impression (and truly, so am I) that anything Naruto oriented is improved a hundred fold with the inclusion of Zetsu-san. We drew straws for who got dibs on the first KisaZetsu… I lost.
I'm fully aware that it's beyond weird and probably even crack, but that's okay- you'll learn to like it. Oi, I'm so bad, I wrote most of this at school!
So here you go, Allen-sai. Happy Birthday, you plant loving freak.
Human Enough
It wasn't uncommon for Itachi to slink from his own room, creeping through the dark corridors once he was sure no one would be out. Since it was rare for too many of the Akatsuki to be in the compound together, he shouldn't have worried so much.
However, everyone knew Itachi was paranoid. No one would have questioned his caution.
He always knocked on the cherry-wood door, but so lightly that he wondered if anyone on the other side could actually hear him. The reply was never cold as it beckoned him in, never hesitant.
He was never sure, even with his eyes as sharp as they were, if what he was seeing through the shadows was a smile or just the flickering light playing with his mind.
Standing in the doorway, he never said anything. But when the pale hand inevitably fell on his shoulder, he was ready to give the softest of smiles. He didn't flinch to touch the other's face, he wasn't worried for his own safety.
Zetsu wouldn't hurt him, even if he wanted too.
It was strange, how the paranoid Uchiha felt so safe in the arms of one of the most dangerous creatures on earth.
He had to lean up, threading his fingers in the shorter hair, pulling the plant nin down to him. The kiss was far from gentle, neither of the pair being overly familiar with that. Slipping his tongue past the eerily cool lips, Itachi explored just how sharp those teeth were. As Zetsu pressed closer to him, Itachi felt the spiny plant-jaws tremble in anticipation. He thought of what they could do to him, and of how strongly Zetsu had to control himself, and smiled.
Perhaps it was the danger in this that made it so good. Well, for Itachi, at least. The genius child couldn't even fathom what Zetsu saw in this particular activity. God knows he wasn't in it for the stimulating conversation.
"Didn't think you'd come," The black half of Zetsu's face murmured
"Thought you had something better to do," The white side added, sounding slightly sardonic.
Itachi offered a small smirk, hands going to the buttons on the plant's cloak. "I told you I would come, if I could." He let his fingers trail lightly over the oddly textured flesh where the plant melded to Zetsu's shoulders. As it always did, this drew a shuddering groan from the taller man, still unused to anyone touching his strange skin. Pushing the cloak down and off, Itachi slid to his knees, hands moving to the clasp of Zetsu's pants. Sliding them away too, he was pleased to find the plant already hard, and wasted no time in taking the thickened member into his mouth.
The soft moan Zetsu uttered in his dual voice spurred Itachi on, encouraging him to run his tongue over the soft flesh. The pale hand twined into his hair, pulling slightly, while the darker one stroked it lovingly.
"Ahhh… I-Itachi-kun…"
The younger man began to move a little quicker, holding on to the plant-nin's hips, roused by the sounds he made. Truth be told, he rather loved the sounds Zetsu made, how the other man pressed closer and moaned out his name… as if he truly were the only one who could make him feel this way.
It was a shame, because he knew that neither of them had only the other- he knew that Zetsu reserved some of his more tender feelings for that Tobi-boy, and Zetsu knew that Itachi would go back to Kisame. Yet they never tried to stop meeting, and it wasn't a lie when they murmured half coherent endearments to the other.
Quite suddenly Zetsu bucked against his face, the sudden burst of fluid in his mouth bringing Itachi back to the here and now. He pulled away, turning his head to spit the warm fluid to the side. The plant-nin's dark hand caressed his cheek as he stood again, while the white gripped his wrist, already tugging him towards the bed. Itachi allowed himself to be pulled, letting Zetsu push him backwards onto the bed.
Mismatched hands flew over the clasps to his cloak, pushing the material away, only to dive under the loose mesh Itachi insisted on wearing even though it would just be removed. The Uchiha bit down on his lower lip as those fingers grazed his nipples, arching up toward the other man. He gasped softly at the feeling of Zetsu's knee grinding gently against his crotch. Suddenly the shirt was gone and Zetsu's lips had replaced his hands on Itachi's chest. Distantly, beyond the pleasure he was feeling, the younger man noticed his pants being pulled at, then away. Zetsu's mouth toyed with his flesh while one hand stroked his hardened length.
"Agh… c'mon…" He groaned, writhing as that hand moved to knead his balls. "S-stop teasing…"
"Sorry…" the softer voice murmured, but that hand continued toying with him. When Itachi met his gaze, Zetsu grinned.
"I'm enjoying it…" The plant-nin's lighter half murmured, shifting to wrap his hand more firmly around Itachi's hardness. He looked impossibly pleased with himself when the dark haired man groaned and arched against him. Those beautiful black eyes narrowed in a glare that was almost comical when set against the blush splashed over Itachi's cheeks.
After a moment the plant-nin relented, repositioning for better leverage. He thrust in, smothering his lover's cry with a kiss. Gentle though he tried to be, his teeth cut open Itachi's lip. The younger man didn't seem to mind- quite the opposite. Itachi thrust back against him, deepening the kiss in a way that told Zetsu everything was more than perfect for him.
The Uchiha pressed his nails into Zetsu's back, dragging them over the skin. He smiled in vague satisfaction at the hiss of pleasure his lover uttered, feeling the movement inside him increase. He pressed his head back into the bed with a soft cry as his nails dug deeply into the plant-nin's shoulders.
Zetsu's climax was amazing to behold, his face creasing with ecstasy as he thrust one last time. Itachi followed not long after, spilling his own seed onto Zetsu's hand and his stomach. The older male stretch languidly beside his lover, smiling at the way Itachi curled closer, leaving their legs tangled. He brushed a hand over Itachi's cheek, murmuring lazily, "You're very beautiful…"
Making a slight face, Itachi opened his eyes and looked up into the golden pair. "You sound like Kisame." He muttered, resisting the urge to avert his eyes as he broke their taboo on other names in the room.
"Is it wrong that I notice the same things he does?" He spoke so softly, Itachi wasn't exactly sure which voice had asked.
He thought silently for a moment, then shook his head just slightly, pressing closed to the plant ninja. "No… I guess not…"
OWARI
(Yeah… I'm so fucked up)