Summary: This is probably going to be another terrible self insert into the Neptunia universe, but I'ma see where it goes. Also, this will be taking place near the beginnings of Mk2.

Also,

Disclaimer: This is purely for fun. I own no rights to the Neptunia franchise and have no plans on ever using this terrible fanfiction for commercial purposes.

Life is exceedingly boring. I mean that in the most positive way possible. Because it is boring, we don't have to worry about evil syndicates, world ending calamities, or other fantastical developments. Instead, we should be perfectly content with the lives we live now.

Unfortunately, life is also pretty suffering. Loved ones die, friendships fade, poverty and disease run rampant... So forgetting about our troubles is something of a godsend. We all have manner of coping with dull reality, and, for me, it was gaming.

In games, I could act out fantasies without having to worry about the repercussions of letting a squadmate die, or causing a war of unspeakable scale, or I could even have a harem in my school days without worrying about being stabbed in the chest, decapitated, then having my lover cradle my head on a boat while it sailed off into the horizon… Anyway, the point is, games are awesome. And there were times when I did wish life was more gamelike...

"OH DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?"

I was falling. Fast. Toward the ground.

"WHE-WHERE AM I!?"

I had just come from the land of dreams to being plummeted to the ground. Perhaps I was still tired, but I had no idea how I got into this situation. This is exactly the kind of situation I didn't want to happen in real life. Unfortunately, I was obviously awake and this WAS happening.

Now, in this situation, my first reaction was maybe I had some weird dream that I thought I was still at my bed, but quite possibly I was sleeping on my way to go skydiving… No. Impossible. That doesn't even make sense. I've never even had the desire to skydive. Besides, I had no parachute on my back. And I was wearing… pajamas?

"WHAT IS GOING ON!"

Turning my focus back to the imminent danger below me, I noticed that the land did seem surprisingly lush and green. Or rather, I would have thought that had I not been still trying process how I got in this situation. Actually, I think I noticed three dots walking on the road below me. Towards my would-be crashing site. Well, no sense in hurting other people with my soon-to-be corpse. I think I can cope with dying, but killing someone else would just be a dick move.

"OUT OF THE WAY! MOVE! MOVE! MOOOOOOOVE!"

"Now that you've gotten the power from Planeptune's mascot character, do you think we should head straight to Lastation to stop Ms. Underling or head to Histy to tell her what happened?"

A peach haired girl was speaking to two others.

"Well, we ought to head back to the Basilicom first. Histoire needs to know what happened with the mascot character. Also, she might be able to help us meet with Lastation's CPU candidate since she has more authority than we do."

A brown haired girl answered her compatriot.

"I do hope that we can get along with the other nation's Basilicoms."

The third, lavender haired girl responded this time.

"...VE…"

"Did you guys just hear something?"

The brown haired girl stopped and looked around.

"MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!"

She was certain she heard something. But she couldn't find the source of the sound.

"Gasp! Iffy, look!"

The peach haired girl was now pointing at the sky.

"Compa, staring at the sun is not good for your… wha? Nepgear, transform, now!"

"R-roger!"

"MOVE! MOVE! MO-!"

Huh? One of those dots seems to be getting closer to me faster than the others. Much faster. Are those… wings?

"Augh!"

A winged, lilac haired girl in some weird white suit had grabbed my arm and was easing me to the ground, trying to prevent my body from having an intimate relationship with it. While she was successful, my arm was certainly in a lot of pain. She descended back down to her two friends, who were waiting below.

"Are you okay?"

"Huff… huff… Give me a second, please."

This near death experience certainly was taking its toll on me. I'll be dying at a young age thanks to that. Now, who was my savior?

Looking up, I saw three incredibly beautiful girls. One had long brown hair, emerald green eyes, and was wearing an overly large blue jacket. Another had peach colored hair. She was wearing a white tank top... sweater?... thing and a plaid skirt. I couldn't help but notice her bosom was quite large as well. The last, the girl who flew to my rescue, had long lilac-colored hair. Her clothes were definitely the most… eccentric. She was wearing what looked like some white latex… armor? In all honesty, it was hard to classify it. It almost looked like a one-piece swimsuit. Glancing up, I decided it was time to answer her previous question...

"Um… do all angels have power signals for eyes?"

"Hahahaha!"

The brown haired girl started laughing up a storm. Obviously, my question seemed weird to them. But I had no idea why. This winged girl had power signals in her eyes. Also, I was just falling from the sky after going to sleep. I'm probably already dead, right? Looking at the other two, the Angel(?) seemed to be blushing a little, as if she wasn't sure what to say, and the peach haired girl didn't seem to be responding either way.

"Well, anyway, thank you very much for catching me. Is this normally how people get into Heaven? What's the deal with this? Trying to scare people to make deals never to sin again if God comes and saves them or something?"

The brown haired girl, still laughing, finally came forward to answer my questions.

"Heheh… At first I thought you were trying to hit on Nepgear here. But to think you actually thought you were dead and that this place is Heaven is even better. Anyway, you're not dead. This isn't Heaven. It's Planeptune."

"Come again?"

"Planeptune. You know, home to CPU Purple Heart? The Land of Purple Progress?"

"..."

I'm waiting for her to crack a smile, but she seems to have a really good poker face. Well, whatever. If I'm not dead, then I need to figure where I really am. So I'll just cut to the chase.

"Look, I think you for saving me, but I really just want to get home. Could you at least tell me what country I'm really in?"

The three looked at each other quizzically. Wait, was she serious?

"Uh… that is… You were joking about this place being called 'Planeptune,' right?"

"No, this really is Planeptune."

This time, the peach haired girl had answered. The brown haired girl came close to her and whispered into her ear. Then, the peach haired girl responded. I could only make out parts of the conversation they were having.

"...Deja vu...reminds me of Neptune… take him to the Basilicom?... trust him…?"

"Um… So, I want to get this straight. I'm not dead, right? I'm in a place called 'Planeptune,' and this girl with wings and power symbols for eyes isn't and ang… Agh!"

The winged girl had disappeared. Instead, there was a girl that looked similar to her, but her hair was a darker, lavender color.

"Who… where… Ugh…"

That's it; I'm insane.

"Wh-what is it?"

"I thought… that you had wings... and that you had power symbols for eyes... and that you were wearing different clothing… hm…"

This new girl had on what looked like a sailor uniform dress. Well, to be more precise, it was so short that it looked more like the shirt part of a sailor uniform and she just decided not to wear any pants today. Quite promiscuous, really. Yeah, I need to look somewhere else now. I'm still wearing pajamas, after all.

The brown and peach haired girls finally stopped whispering and looked like they had come to some decision concerning my presence.

"Hey… umm…"

The peach haired girl spoke first.

"Nathan."

"Na-son? Nassan?"

"If that's too hard to say, then 'Nate' is just fine."

What in the world? She's acting like she's Japanese, but we're definitely speaking English. Ah well, maybe it's her second language. After all, I have no way of knowing what this "Planeptune" place's official language is.

"Well then, Nate. I'm Compa! It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Same to you guys. After all, had I not dropped in on you guys, I'd be having a much less… pleasant… time with the ground over there."

"Heh, that certainly is true. Now, I'm a nurse-in-training, and… well, you might want to sit down for this."

"Hm? Why?"

"Well, you might pass out when I tell you you might have brain damage."

"I have brain damage?"

"Oh, you knew already? Why didn't you say something earlier? Iffy and I could've saved a bunch of time just now."

"No, that was a question. Why do you think I have brain damage?"

"Well, I mean, last time a person came falling from the sky, she had amnesia. So, it stands to reason that you would also have some damage. Especially since you aren't a CPU"

What kind of "reason" is that? And why is she comparing me to a computer part? Come to think of it, the brown haired girl said something about a CPU earlier. These girls are beyond weird…

"Well, I don't think I have brain damage. The only part of me that even hurts is my arm."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was so worried that I ended up forgetting to take it easy on you, so I ended up pulling up on your arm more than I should have. Are you okay?"

The lavender haired girl was talking this time.

"Oh, I'm just fine, all things considered. I really do appreciate it… uh…"

"Ah! I'm Nepgear. I'm the younger sister of Planeptune's CPU, Neptune!"

So they really were serious about the Planeptune thing. But…

"You guys keep talking about this 'CPU' thing. What is it, exactly?"

"Oh no! Did you forget about the CPUs? Or maybe ASIC's influence is so strong that people no longer remember the CPUs?"

Compa managed to say a whole bunch of things that I didn't understand. I feel like this conversation won't get anywhere if I rely on her for information. I turned towards the brown haired girl.

"Um… if you don't mind, can I have your name?"

She smirked a little.

"You don't need to be so formal. We're all friends here. I'm IF."

This place certainly has weird names for people. Then again, Planeptune is a weird name, too. I'm also not sure if this is a real country. Perhaps I'm in some part of an anarchist society that no country officially recognizes?

"Well, IF, if it pleases you, would you explain to me where I am and what a CPU is?"

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind, but we are actually in kind of a hurry. We spent quite a bit of time here. I can explain on the way back to where we're going, but are you sure you're fit for moving?"

"I'm just peachy."

"Hmhmm. Then let's get going."

Come to think of it, I doubt they'd be out in this field for no good reason.

"So Planeptune is the name of this country. Out of the four countries in the world, it is considered the most technologically advanced."

Four countries? Four? FOUR!?

"FOUR COUNTRIES? What happened to the other 200-something countries!?"

"Uh… what?"

"There's over 200 countries in the world. And Planeptune is definitely nothing I've ever heard of before!"

I can't believe what I'm hearing. There's no way these are just some sort of radicals. It's like I'm in a whole other world… No. No no no no no. Absolutely not.

"200!? There's no way any of the CPUs would ever have enough shares to do anything for their nations in that case! Oh right, you don't remember the CPUs, either, huh? I guess that explains that. The CPUs are born along with the birth of a country. They are kind of like the country in human-like form, but have supernatural powers that help protect the land. Nepgear, here, is a candidate that was born from the Shares of this country, so she has similar powers, as you saw earlier."

No no no no

"Ah, you probably don't know about Shares either. Shares are pretty much the faith people have in their CPUs. So the better a CPU leads her land, the more Shares she gets, and, as such, she gains more power."

No… No…

"But about three years ago, an evil entity known as 'Arfoire' was trying to awaken. The four CPUs and Nepgear tried to stop her, but were all defeated in battle by Arfoire's minions. Compa and I were able to rescue Nepgear recently, but the Shares in the CPUs has deteriorated across all four continents."

"Hold on. Please. This is way too much information. Also, I, and please don't treat me like a victim of insanity when I say this, may, in fact, be from what you would call 'a parallel universe'."

"..."

All three girls were now staring at me like I was about to say 'just kidding' or something. Well, I suppose that's only natural. I'm speaking nonsense to them.

"I'm not joking. Now, I'm not positive about this, as I can't logically figure out how I got here. But my entire being is screaming at me telling me that there is something wrong here. I mean, I thought Nepgear was an angel because people can't fly. There's no such thing as winged people in my reality. This CPU concept you have is beyond the scope of my world, though I do wish we had a method similar to your Shares for my world's politics. Certainly would make politicians more accountable for their actions… Anyway, logically, I must be from a different dimension… probably."

"How is that logical?" IF asked.

"Yeah, well, what other explanation is there?"

"Either you are lying to us about everything, though I can't sense any deceit from you, or you're brain damaged, like Compa said. Hell, I'd have an easier time believing aliens had abducted you than interdimensional travel."

"Oh please. Why would aliens want anything to do with me? I'm so boring. All I ever do is sit around, looking at a computer screen all day. I'm like the LEAST likely person to be abducted by aliens."

"Well, if you discount aliens, that means the only logical explanation is brain damage, then."

"That isn't the only explanation. Also, your 'logic' seems off. And, while being brain damaged certainly could cause something akin to this, I can assure you that I am mentally well… within standard deviations of the word 'well'."

"That doesn't exactly inspire confidence in us."

"Yeah. Sorry. I don't exactly understand my situation myself."

"Let's just ask Histoire when we get back home."

"Not sure who that is, but if you think she can help, then I'm all up for that."

"She's probably the only person who would be able to understand what's going on if you really are from another dimension."

"Alright, excellent. Lead the way."

Reality is very boring. However, because of this, it is predictable. Things can be explained in rational ways. We can understand the laws of nature. We know the limits and boundaries of life and the universe. If someone were to say something fantastical, people would be able to call them out for it.

In the past, I yearned for adventure, for fantasy, without truly understanding the repercussions of such desires. And now, I'm stuck in this situation. Between three silent women walking through a green field toward some strange city off in the distance in a foreign world where physics seemed to be an afterthought of whatever deity or explosion created this world.