A/N: Well, here I am again. Another Series of Unfortunate Events fanfic. I don't really have anything planned, I'll just see how it goes. Reviews are always welcome :)

"You have joined at a very, very bad time," were Kit Snicket's greeting words.

"I'm sorry?" Lucy blinked.

Kit gestured to sit down. "How do you take your tea?"

"Oh, just milk. And if you don't have any, black will do."

Kit nodded. "Tea, as my brother used to say, should be as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two edged sword. Do you know what he meant by that?"

Lucy shook her head. With every word she spoke Kit was puzzling her more and more by the minute. "No."

"Neither do I," a sad smile crossed the blonde haired woman's face. "I have not heard from my brother since I was sixteen." She had to be no more than a nineteen now, a few years older than Lucy was. She was barely an adult, and Lucy was barely an adult, yet here they were.

"I'm afraid I cannot train you. Well, not much. We scarcely have time for training, nowadays. But you seem like a smart woman, able minded. You'll pick things up quickly."

Lucy, no more than seventeen, was perhaps taking on the hardest task in the world. She, of course had no way of knowing, but had I been her, and had I known, I would've screamed and run away. Lucy did not engage in such behaviour because she was well mannered.

"We need new volunteers. We're desperate. Our numbers are dropping everyday- everyday there is a new disappearance, a new death."

Lucy's brown eyes met Kit's grey-blue ones. "Death?"

"Times are hard, and circumstances are bad. The world is no longer quiet."

There was a silence in the room at these words. Lucy knew about VFD. She'd learnt the codes, she'd read every book on the reading list. She was vaguely aware of what the organisation did- or rather, when they used to do. Now their main object seemed to be survival.

"Do you read?" Kit asked.

"Yes."

"You know the basics? The codes, the disguises?"

"Yes. I don't have a disguise kit, though."

"That won't be necessary, I'm afraid," here Kit sighed. "The villains have the same disguise kits. Everyone originally part of VFD did. It's too obvious now. If you need to disguise yourself, do so as you see fit. In times like these resourcefulness is key. You will learn to be resourceful, Lucy. In times of desperation, as my brother once said, humanity will always adapt. It's amazing, really."

Lucy only nodded, slightly in awe. Another silence hung in the room. Kit signed and took a long sip of tea. The woman was distraught, Lucy could see it. She could always notice things about people others couldn't see. It was written into Kit, from the way she held herself to the way she glanced down at her teacup now.

The silence was presently broken, by a loud mechanic sound coming from the corner of the dimly lit room. It sounded as though something was being printed. At this noise Kit leapt up, uncharacteristically forgetting to use a coaster to rest her mug on. She ran to the corner of the room, where a piece of paper appeared to be coming out of. She sized it, the ink was barely dry, and it glimmered in the dull candlelight.

Kit's eyes skimmed over the paper. The expression that crossed her face was unfathomable- Lucy was soon to master that art.

"What's that?" Lucy enquired.

Kit's eyes left the paper, and to Lucy's surprise, she smiled. "Something we haven't had for a very long time- a very long time."

Lucy looked at Kit expectantly.

"Why, it's a volunteer factual dispatch, of course!"