Echoes in the Underworld
The strings of white lights still hung over the patio at Granny's, though most of the bulbs were shattered and the few that remained hung limp and dull on their strings. Emma tried not to look around as she walked up to the front door. She tried not to think of that kiss. The kiss under those lights.
The shop bell jingled as always when she entered. She looked around quickly, eyes scanning the scene for clues, as she had done many times before when she was a bail bondsperson. Emma was looking for a hint of anything that would lead her back to Killian. Emma even checked the back storerooms and the hallways.
"I told you, Swan. I'm a survivor."
The memory hit her with such force that she had to grab onto the wall for support. That day, the day she returned what was rightfully his. Killian's heart sat in the palms of her hands when it was still beating. She had been standing there. Just there. When he pressed her gently against the wall and kissed her.
"I'm a survivor."
Emma turned and bolted out of the shop. The little bell jingled again.
"Swan, don't make a man drink alone."
Emma's breath caught in her throat. For one heart stopping moment she felt sure that her pirate was sitting at the table in front of her there under the broken bulbs, waiting for her as he had that day.
The moment passed. The memory faded. She walked on.
"Well love, you don't have to worry about me."
"No." Emma stopped and closed her eyes. She tried to keep the memory away but it was relentless. Killian's voice came to her as though he were standing right beside her.
"I'm a survivor."
That was what he had said. Tears stung her eyes as she stood on the exact spot where Killian had spoken those words so many months ago. She had believed him then.
Tears fell as Emma wrapped her hand around the ring hanging from her neck and whispered. "You were supposed to live. I was supposed to save you. If you were a survivor, you wouldn't have left me. If I was the Savior, you wouldn't have died."
Emma fought to keep herself together as she turned and continued walking down the street. Every few feet she was hit with another memory; each one raw and real and visceral. How was it that nearly every aspect of this town reminded her of Killian? And why was each memory hitting her with such intensity? As Emma walked around the Underworld version of her home, the ghost of the life she had shared with Killian played out again before her.
There was the corner where he had stood waiting for her so many times before; always with a cup of coffee or a scone in hand. There was the street they had walked down together; arms intertwined. Happy. She passed the alleyway where they had fought Elsa's snow monster and the Underworld version of the sheriff's station. Each memory assaulted her with its accuracy and yet it was all strange and surreal. Each memory was real and not real. Killian was here and not here. This Underworld looked so similar to the world she now called home and yet it was too different. Too strange. It was as though she were on the wrong side of a mirror; forced to watch the life she had once lived.
The memories of her love overwhelmed her with every step she took and before she knew where she was, white wooden slats appeared in her peripheral vision. That house. The old blue victorian he had picked out. She hadn't known where she was heading and yet where else would she go? Emma reached out and put a hand on the little gate but she did not open the it. She couldn't.
This was their home. That future he had wanted for her. The future she was finally ready to have. She almost had a home. A life with Killian. Maybe one day there would have been children. Or a cat. They were going to grow old together in this house.
Her hands began to shake but she took a deep breath and opened the gate. With slow steps she crossed the yard, climbed the few stairs and laid a hand on the doorknob. What if he was in there? She felt a rush of excitement that was quelled almost instantly.
What if he was not?
She opened the door. It was her house and it wasn't. The colors were muted. Everything in the Storybrooke house had been new. Vibrant. The furniture was whole and undamaged. In this Underworld version the couch had stuffing peeking out of several holes. There were fewer books on the shelves and those that remained were missing covers or were discolored. The glass vases and figures she had chosen so carefully were broken or chipped in places. Everything was there but it wasn't.
Standing inside the doorway, she was hit with a barrage of memories that sent her reeling.
"I'm surprised you let me in."
"That's why you'll always be an orphan."
"There's no sight like a full moon on the waves."
"I want to hurt you like you hurt me."
Here in the Underworld her love haunted her. She couldn't stop the memories from coming. Again and again she heard his voice; clear and cruel and beautiful.
Emma covered her ears and ran up the stairs and suddenly the memories stopped.
It was quiet here.
Killian had never seen this part of the house.
She searched through the ghost rooms of the house that wasn't hers and found nothing but emptiness and broken furniture. The last door she opened was the bedroom. It wasn't hers. It was never theirs. This bed had a layer of dust. The desk in the corner was missing a leg. The mirror over the dresser was foggy and distorted. Emma did not recognize herself in the reflection. She leaned against the wall beside the door and sank down to the ground. She sat, half hidden by the dresser, and broke.
Time passed. She did not know how much.
There came the distant sound of the front door opening.
"Mom?"
Emma's head snapped up. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat.
"Up here." She half croaked and cleared her throat again. There came the thumping sound of Henry's feet on the stairs. The sound made Emma smile, in spite of herself. Henry had dealt with so much in such a short amount of time, yet through it all he was still Henry; the unfailing optimist that kept them all going. The teenager who thundered up the stairs.
Emma opened the door the rest of the way and there he was. She hugged her son tightly to her and was again amazed at how tall he had grown in the few short years she had known him.
"Any luck?" Emma's voice was more fragile than she wanted it to be.
"No, we haven't found him anywhere." Henry said.
Emma nodded, trying hard not to cry.
"But there's one place we haven't looked." said Henry, looking at his mother with his old, mischievous grin.
"Where?" Emma asked.
"The Jolly Roger."
Emma nearly sprinted down to the docks, Henry following closely behind her. The Jolly Roger. Of course! Why didn't she think of that? Killian would be there. He just had to be. It was his home. His first home, and she'd already looked everywhere else. If he wasn't there-
But he had to be.
At last. She recognized the mast, the rigging; the Jolly Roger. She ran toward the ship, desperate to see her pirate again.
There was a man standing on the deck. For a moment she thought it was him. "Killian," she whispered. But then the man turned toward the sound of her running footsteps.
"Hey!" Emma shouted, storming angrily up the ramp onto the ship. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Mom! Wait!" Henry called after her. But Emma paid him no attention.
The man on deck simply looked at her. He did not seem to be at all rattled by the angry blonde woman running toward him.
"This isn't your ship! The Jolly Roger doesn't belong to you!" Beneath her rage, Emma noticed that there was something familiar about this man. His eyes. They looked so much like Killian's that she felt her breath catch. Memories were painful enough but this? Some stranger standing on HIS ship? A stranger with HIS eyes?
Emma grabbed the man roughly by his collar and pushed him back against the mast. Far from being scared, the man smiled at her. It was an infuriating smile. Arrogant. Smug.
"The Jolly Roger?" The man smirked, " You must be confused, lass. You're standing aboard The Jewel of the Realm."
Emma froze. She stared at him for a full five seconds. Then she let go of his collar and stepped back. She had heard that name before. It was the name of the ship Killian had sailed with his brother. The ship that later became The Jolly Roger. That could only mean one thing.
"You're … you're Liam." Emma said weakly. Her breath quickened and she grabbed on to the rigging for support. The man shook out his coat and smiled again.
Liam chuckled. "You must be Emma."
Emma could only nod.
"How did you get down here?" Liam asked.
"It's a long story."
"My schedule's pretty clear." It felt like she had been punched in the gut. Killian's eyes. His ship. And now his words. It all became too much for her. She sank slowly down and sat on the deck with her head in her hands. Neither Liam nor Henry said anything else. They simply waited. Once Emma came back to herself, she stood slowly upright again.
"It doesn't matter how we got here. I... I came to find your brother."
The smile finally faded from Liam's face. "Killian? He died?"
"Yes." the word felt like ice in her throat.
Liam sat down on a barrel and lowered his head. "I wondered. When I saw the Jewel again, if that's what it meant."
"Do you know where he is?" Emma asked, a note of desperation in her voice.
"No. I haven't seen him anywhere." Liam said sadly, looking out across the bay.
"But then, how did you know who I am?" Emma asked suspiciously.
"Even in the underworld, your reputation precedes you." Seeing Emma's look of continued confusion, Liam went on. "There have been rumors going 'round about a living woman who brought an entire search party into the Underworld to rescue her True Love."
Emma nodded, still trying to get her mind around everything that had just happened.
"Of course, I had no idea that the True Love was my little brother." Liam said, smirking at her.
"Yeah, today is just full of surprises." Emma muttered.
Liam grew serious. "I will help you find my brother, Emma."
"You will?"
"Yes." Liam looked suddenly uncomfortable. "Emma, has he… did he tell you about how… how I died?"
Emma looked straight into those too-familiar eyes. "Yes, he did."
Liam sighed. "I've thought about nothing else for the last two hundred years. I should have listened to him that day in Neverland. I believed so strongly in the King we swore to serve that I was too stubborn to listen to Killian and in the end it cost me my life. I've been waiting all this time to see my brother again. To tell him that I'm sorry."
Emma was momentarily at a loss for what to say. Then Henry stepped forward and placed a hand on Liam's shoulder. "We'll find him," he said confidently. "That's what my family does. We find people, and we're pretty good at it. You'll see your brother again." Emma stared wonderingly at Henry, amazed at the remarkable person her son had become.
Liam nodded at Henry, "The lad's right. We will find him. I've waited two hundred years to see my brother again but maybe with your help I can finally see him again. Maybe I can finally find peace and maybe, just maybe, we can return your happy ending." Liam turned toward Emma.
Emma stared at him. "How-"
"As I said, word travels fast."
"There's just one problem," Emma said, "We don't even know where to look."
"Well, we won't find him here. Let's head back through the town." Liam said.
Henry, Liam and Emma disembarked and made their way back up the docks.
"It's my job, well, I hope it's my job to protect your heart."
"No." Emma couldn't do this anymore. She just couldn't keep hearing his voice. Emma wrapped her arms tightly around herself, trying to stop shaking.
"Emma, what's wrong?" Liam looked over at her, concern on every line of his face. The face with the eyes that were so like Killian's.
"I can't." Emma whispered.
"Can't? Can't what?" The lines of concern deepened on his face.
"It's Killian's voice." Henry supplied.
"What?" Liam asked sharply.
Henry explained, "My mom's been hearing Killian's voice ever since we got to the underworld. So have I. Whenever I pass a place where I talked with him, I hear his voice again. It's almost like the memory is replaying."
A look of dawning comprehension flashed across Liam's face.
"What?" Emma asked, as Killian's voice at last subsided.
"You're hearing Killian speak to you, as if he were standing right next to you?" Liam asked.
"Yes." Emma said.
"And the voice is repeating everything Killian had said to you when he was alive?"
"Yes!" Emma said more urgently.
Liam smiled grimly. "Then I know just where to find your pirate."