The world is so white.
It takes me a while to get my bearings, to understand what is in front of me.
Snow. Of course it's snow. What else could it be?
My hands are buried inside the snow. What are they holding on to?
It's another hand. A human hand.
Ah, I remember now. The woman who I was holding onto.
She and I had always been together. We gave each other hope and warmth.
Hope and warmth that existed only to be taken away by this cold, cold world.
In the end, there's only one final fate for us all. Only one way things will end in this empty, sorrowful world.
I hate this town.
Why wouldn't I? All it's ever given me are memories I desperately want to erase.
A distant flicker of hope is the only thing keeping me going these days, but even that isn't enough to get my legs moving at the pace I want them to.
I guess I'll have to rely on my other crutch. I pull out the box of cigarettes from my pocket. Good, I still have three left.
I take out my lighter, quickly placing one of the cigarettes in my mouth. In a few seconds, the tip is nice and orange.
I slowly suck on the cigarette as my pace increases.
Yes, at this rate I'll probably make it about two classes in.
The overpass is heavy with traffic as always. And as always, I briefly contemplate what would happen if I threw myself into the traffic.
Would anyone give a damn when my death gets reported in the news? My dad sure as hell wouldn't, and I don't give a fuck about what he thinks anyway.
The folks in my class might take notice, though. Most of them would probably shake their heads at the pathetic life of Revy Lee coming to a pathetic end. I don't think anyone of note, anyone who's actually doing something with their lives would really miss me.
I chuckle at the conclusion I've drawn, satisfied with my suicidal fantasy for this morning.
My cigarette's half-way gone as I take the pedestrian bridge to cross the road.
It surprises me at how far I've come despite my self-destructive streak. I wonder how long I can keep living like this. I wonder if it's possible for me to really change things.
But thinking too much about these things just gives me a headache. I just need to enjoy this bitch that is my life until I wind up dead. It's not like I'll ever be respected or appreciated for anything.
I drop my cigarette to the floor as it's reduced to a stub.
Ah, yes, it isn't far off. The cherry-blossom tree standing right below the hill that leads up to the school gates.
It's a long climb from that tree, a climb that I've been taking alone for years now.
But the sound of a man's stuttering stops me in my tracks as I reach the tree.
He's a rather unassuming guy, who doesn't look like he's from around this town. But his school uniform's the same as mine, so he must be late for classes as well. His eyes are tightly shut, and he looks very focused, as if he's in the middle of prayer or something.
"Do you...like this school?" he says, to no one in particular. I stand right next to him, and notice the ID card dangling from his neck. It reads "Rokura Okajima". Hm, never heard of him.
"I really, really like it." Rokuro continues. "I really like this town too. But things always change. People always leave. Is there still a place for me here? Do I still belong?"
The poor guy's on the verge of tears. I decide to chime in.
"Hey." I say out loud. Rokuro snaps out of his prayer and looks at me.
"You just need to look for new things, and find new people." I say, with a smile.
"New...things?" he says.
"Yeah, there's always new stuff to find. New ways to have fun and be happy. It's not that hard."
"I...I see. Thank you." he says, and smiles back at me.
I wonder what drew me to this guy. I've never bothered to dish out life advice to anyone before.
"Now come on. Let's go." I say, and head onwards. I can hear Rokuro following behind me.
And so, we make our climb together. Our climb up this long, long hill.