The View from Afar
Summary: And so it is, just like you said it would be. RenjixRukia. Oneshot.
Disclaimers: I do not own Bleach as it is property of Kubo Tite. Sucks to be me. Also, the dialogue which appears later on is found in chapter 98, pages 14-15, translated by SSH83 et al on onemanga.
Even when Rukia was beating up the miserly stall keeper and shouting for Renji and his friends to run for it, he thought that she was the most graceful thing he had ever seen and thought to himself, this girl, this girl really is something. And that was a lot coming from someone who didn't have a particularly optimistic view of people in general (a given when you lived in the district of thieves and murderers) so he decided to ask her if she wanted to join his 'gang' and when she said okay, he let out the breath of relief that he didn't know he was holding.
So began 10 years of fun and games and laughing until their stomachs would cramp and their jaws would ache. Of course, all good things have to come to an end and before long, Renji and Rukia were staring at the graves of their friends, unsure of what to do and unsure of what to say. That is, until Rukia suggested that they joined the Shinigami Academy and try to get better lives. He thought that Rukia was still the most graceful thing he had ever seen. He reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from her eyes and she smiled.
The best laid plans of mice and men never work out and Renji found himself surrounded by snobby rich kids who probably hadn't ever taken a step outside their mansions without at least ten bodyguards.
So he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't ever make friends with these people because Rukia was enough and he didn't need anyone else. He decided to just work hard and get beyond these pretentious assholes and then he'd see who would laugh at whom.
And he kept his promise for a while, always answering questions even if he embarrassed himself (but Rukia told him to keep doing it so he did, even if the class cackled at him like a pack of rabid hyenas). Well that promise, like everything else in his life (except Rukia, of course) turned to shit as well, when he met the bright-eyed, too-naïve and too-gentle Kira who he had seen a few times around the academy and secretly thought was a bit of a pansy. But what the hell, Kira was a really nice guy and probably needed toughening up from some Rukongai street kid anyway, or so Renji argued with his inner self.
So began their friendship, as well as he and Hinamori, and not to mention, with Hisagi eventually as well. Renji didn't see Rukia as frequently anymore though, because he was in the top class and she wasn't. But this distance obviously didn't affect him because every time he saw her, it was like the first time, and his heart would beat a little faster and he would still think, this girl, this girl really is something.
Maybe life was going too well for Renji these days or maybe he just wasn't destined to be happy but that day, when he rushed into the hall to tell Rukia that he'd just passed his second exam, he couldn't help but feel as if Lady Luck really hated him or something.
Although, he couldn't really tell exactly what was going on, Rukia's expression when she turned to look at him said it all. And as Kuchiki Byakuya passed him, seemingly gliding, all he could momentarily do was wonder at how strong this man was, and how he aspired to surpass him (this desire was half because Renji was naturally competitive, and half because he wanted Rukia to notice him).
"The atmosphere was a bit tense there," Renji said, trying to ease the mood. "What were you talking about?"
He looked at her, and she looked down, looking anywhere to try to avoid his gaze. Her eyes were mistier than usual, he noticed, and he could faintly discern her trembling slightly. He didn't know what to do but just hoped that it was okay, even though the situation definitely looked dire.
Rukia drew in a shaky breath and paused before answering. "They want to…adopt me into the Kuchiki family. They say they will have me graduate immediately and assign me into the 13th Division. Renji…I…this…."
Suddenly, Renji found it difficult to breathe, let alone try to form some sort of suitable response to the situation. But he was just a Rukongai street kid without any parents, so no one would have taught him to reassure her and say, "Don't worry Rukia, I'll never let you go." Or "Don't worry Rukia, I'll always be here, if you need me." So he said what he thought was for the best for her, even if his heart was really bothering him.
He beamed his most brilliant smile and shouted, "Isn't that great? You'll be surrounded by endless riches and become a noble and you can eat whatever you want as a noble! Ah, I envy you!"
She had an unreadable expression on her face as she looked down, and briefly touched his arm, as she asked, "…Really?" And then she turned, she turned and left him, as she said, "Thank you."
Renji couldn't even turn around to look at her. He couldn't even look at her anymore. All it would do would be to remind him that even though she was only a few metres away from him, she might as well have been a star; she might as well have been light years ahead of him. All he could do, he thought, was to keep out of her life. She didn't need him anymore. She finally found herself a family and he was just some street kid who didn't know anything and would merely be a burden to her and she just didn't need him anymore.
Keep out her life, he told himself, after all, isn't this what I've always wanted? All I ever wanted was for her to have a better life than before, than with us.
Now she's okay, he thought, now she's going to be happy.
The years passed, the flowers bloomed and died, and people came and left, but Renji was still the same. He was still the short-tempered, cocky redhead kid from Rukongai years and years and years ago. He still yearned for Rukia even after forty years and maybe it was true, that the heart grows fonder when you're apart, because he realised that, it was perhaps love. He was in love with Rukia.
So, on the day that he had been promoted to vice-captain of the 6th Division (he secretly thought, take that, you stuck up rich kids, although it pained him when he remembered the time that it was just him and Rukia), he decided not to tell Rukia yet, so that it would be a pleasant surprise when she returned from her mission. He had been climbing and climbing, moved from division to division, and finally, he made it, and maybe now, he would be worthy to associate with Rukia again.
When he was given the order to capture Rukia after she hadn't turned up after her mission end was due, he felt both anger and helplessness. Anger because in a way, it was betrayal, because Rukia couldn't wait for him to get stronger and then be together again, but helplessness, because deep down, he knew he couldn't hurt her, whatever she did.
They arrived during the late afternoon, Renji and Byakuya, and he found her, associating with that, that orange-haired human and instantly, his jealousy piqued and he couldn't stop his actions.
That evening, when they found her again, and prepared to capture her, he tried to hold back, but he was short-tempered and brash and that was a side he could never get rid of. All the forty years of not being able to see her and that orange-haired human interacting so freely with her, as if not realising her significance, enraged him beyond belief. He did some things that evening which he still cannot forgive himself for but it wasn't as if he didn't hate himself enough to begin with, what with letting Rukia go in the first place.
It's funny how life turns out though, because one minute he was fighting against Ichigo and the next minute, he was pleading for him to save Rukia. Renji wasn't a fool, he knew he had his pride, and damn it, his pride was totally being walked over by that orange-haired substitute Shinigami, but Rukia was going to die here, and fuck his pride if that was what it took to make sure she lived.
After everything though, after fighting Byakuya and nearly dying, he knew he couldn't give up on Rukia. In fact, it was really the fight that cemented his belief that hell, if he was going to save Rukia, he might as well go all the way, even if he died.
That was how he ended with Rukia in his arms, his chest inflicted with stab wounds from Aizen and Gin and goodness knows who else. But if those pricks thought they had the upper hand, well damn them because he had Rukia again, and the warmth that she brought him was beyond the comprehension of those bastards.
"I'm not letting go of her," Renji said, although he didn't know whether it was aimed that Aizen or himself. "Even if I die, I'll never let her go."
He ended up coming out pretty badly from all this, although even as he was drifting in and out of consciousness, when he saw Byakuya shield Rukia from Gin's zanpaktou, he smiled and thought, least that cold-hearted bastard's got some good in him.
Renji knew he couldn't relax though; Aizen's threat was still imminent and after a million fights with a seemingly endless number of arrancars and hollows and Aizen's other heinous creations, it seemed that perhaps 40 something years was a long enough wait, and maybe it was time to get his ass in gear and do something about the pressing situation at hand.
"Rukia," Renji said one evening after they had dinner at Kuukaku's. "I know this is like out of the blue and maybe forty years too late…"
"Renji, I love you too you jerk," Rukia grinned.
"Huh?!" Renji blushed as red as his hair. "What…I…how did you know?"
"They say," Rukia said looking to the distance. "Sometimes two souls are just bound together and no matter what they do, they'll always be together."
"I see," Renji said, trying to readjust his composure. "So why didn't you do anything about it?"
"I was waiting for you to do something," Rukia said, smiling gently. "After all, even if you're forty years too late, we're still young."
"Yeah," Renji agreed, and laughed. "Yeah, we're still young, we can still love."
And Renji thought, maybe Lady Luck didn't hate him anymore because he finally reached the star.
Finis.