Thief Contest
Summary: Bakura and his past self, Thief King Bakura (called Akefia to avoid confusion) argue over who is the better thief. Sick of their arguing, Ryou makes an off hand suggestion that they hold a thievery contest to see who is worthy of the title King of Thieves. How will Domino City handle 2 sociopathic thieves?
"You must be joking!" Akefia laughed. "You honestly think you're a batter thief than me?!"
"We're the same person, you bloody twit!" Bakura replied.
"That doesn't mean you're better than me" Akefia replied.
Ryou sighed and tried to resume reading his book. After Yugi won the Ceremonial Duel, Yami had chosen to stay in the modern world. That had the unfortunate side effect of resurrecting Yami Bakura as well as bringing Atem and Akefia into the modern world. With no other place to stay, Bakura and Akefia lived with Ryou. Now all they seemed to do was argue over any and everything.
"All that time you spent in that ring has made you lose your mind!" Akefia said.
"Like you're any more sane than I am!" Bakura snapped.
"Do you really think you can steal better than me with that pale girlish body of yours?" Akefia replied.
"The only reason I have this body is because I lost mine when I became trapped in the Millennium Ring and had to use Ryou's as a result!" Bakura yelled back. "Besides, I could still beat you in a fight"
"Is that a challenge?" Akefia asked, cracking his knuckles and pulling out his knife.
"Maybe it is" Bakura replied, pulling out his own knife.
Ryou tried to ignore the loud thuds and bangs as the two thieves started fighting… again. At least he tried to ignore it until he heard a crash and glass shatter.
"Can't you two stop arguing for ten minutes?!" Ryou asked in irritation as he threw down his book and stormed into the other room.
"He started it!" Bakura and Akefia said at the same time, pointing at each other.
"I don't care who started it, I just want it to stop!" Ryou yelled.
"We wouldn't be fighting if pretty boy over here just admitted that I'm the better thief" Akefia said.
"In your dreams" Bakura replied. "I have an advantage you don't, I know how to move about in this world without getting caught"
"If you two really want to determine who's the better thief, then why don't you just have a contest" Ryou said sarcastically, instantly regretting his choice of words.
"That's a great idea!" Both Bakuras said simultaneously. "We'll hold a thievery contest!"
"I was being sarcastic" Ryou said.
"Too late, we've made up our minds" Akefia declared.
"What have I done?" Ryou sighed, shaking his head.
"You'll have to act as the judge" Bakura said.
"Wait, why me?" Ryou asked.
Akefia and Bakura laughed before Bakura said "We're two dishonest, backstabbing, sadistic thieves; do you honestly expect us to call the contest fair and square?"
Ryou went to the medicine cabinet to grab some aspirin. It was going to be a long day.
"Okay, so here are the rules: you each have thirty minutes to steal the most valuable objects you can find" Ryou explained. "The person who steals the most items of value wins"
"Sounds easy enough" Akefia said confidently.
"Oh, please; you still think you're going to win?" Bakura asked sarcastically. "I've had 3000 years to learn new tricks to this thievery game!"
"I'd like to point out that a majority of those years were spent trapped in the Sennen Ring" Akefia pointed out.
"What's your point?" Asked Bakura.
"The point is that in addition to old age, you probably haven't stolen much since you were freed" Akefia said.
"Look, will you quit arguing with me and just go already!" Bakura yelled.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that" Akefia said.
With that being said, the two Thief Kings went out to pilfer some goods. Meanwhile Ryou was praying that the two wouldn't cause too much damage. A voice in the back of his head told him that that wasn't happening.
Bakura had gotten off to a good start. He had already stolen a solid gold statue, razor sharp garrote wire (that would come in handy later), a priceless jewel from the Domino City Museum, and over ¥1,523,000 from pick pocketing so far. At this rate, Akefia was never going to catch up with him.
Akefia on the other hand, was struggling to decide what to take. In this new technologically advanced world, everything was so appealing. It was a thief's paradise. Then Akefia saw a store packed full of shiny jewels. Drooling at the sight, Akefia managed to steal every jewel in the store. In broad daylight. Where there were lots of witnesses. Without even being seen. Akefia walked off laughing maniacally.
"There's no way Akefia can beat me now" Bakura thought as he walked down the street carrying a bunch of gold chains he had stolen from some rapper. The chains had to be worth at least ¥2,700,000.
Akefia was running around looking for something else to steal when he stumbled upon the Kaiba brothers' mansion.
"Jackpot" Akefia smiled.
Using his knife, he stealthily killed the guards and sneaked into the mansion. Duel a Monster trophies sat in diamond crusted display cases. Akefia was salivating at the wealth before him. Akefia quickly stole the trophies, the diamonds, the platinum medals, the expensive silverware, and much more. He was about to leave, when he caught something that really caught his eye.
"These may be worthless pieces of paper to others, but to the older Kaiba, these are worth more than life itself" Akefia muttered to himself as he went to claim the ultimate prize.
Later
"Where is he?!" Ryou asked Bakura.
"How the bloody hell should I know?!" Bakura replied.
"He's your past self!" Ryou said.
"Well if he doesn't show up in two minutes, that makes me the winner by forfeit" Bakura proclaimed, having stolen a solid gold guard gnome, golden chains, a red ruby from the museum, a prototype military weapon, a rare platinum Monster World RPG figurine, ¥1,253,000 in cash, a golden tooth, a priceless painting, and a giant rock.
The two were interrupted by the sound of a jet engine. The two looked up and saw Kaiba's Blue Eyes White Dragon jet coming in for a landing.
"Oh please tell me he didn't" Ryou muttered.
Much to his dismay, Akefia hopped out of the cockpit, wearing a cocky grin. He held a bag that contained who knows how much.
"YOU STOLE KAIBA'S JET?!" Ryou and Bakura asked in a state of utter shock.
"That's not all I stole" Akefia said
Back at the Kaiba Mansion.
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY BLUE EYES?!" Kaiba screamed, having a panic attack.
"Calm down bro, I'm sure you just lost them" Mokuba tried to calm down his older brother.
"HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LOSE MY BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON CARDS!" Kaiba continued to scream. "SOMEBODY MUST HAVE STOLEN THEM!"
"Don't you think you're jumping to conclusions?" Mokuba asked.
"Shut up!" Kaiba replied. "Quickly to the Blue Eyes White Dragon jet!"
A few seconds later, a loud scream could be heard throughout Domino City.
"I think you'll find that I won our little contest" Akefia gloated.
"Unfortunately, I agree" Ryou said.
"As much as it pains me to accept it, I have to admit that you were the better thief" Bakura proclaimed begrudgingly.
"The King of Thieves is more than just a title" Akefia gloated.
"What do you say to a rematch?" Bakura challenged.
"I'm more than willing to beat your ass a second time" said Akefia. "Hey Ryou!"
Ryou had went back into the house and locked the door on the two.
"Hmphf! He forgot we have a spare key" Bakura said before attempting to unlock the door only for the door to remain locked. "You changed the locks? We were only gone for half an hour!"