A Political history, Jan Mayen.
It was a cold April morning, in fact, in Jan Mayen, it was always cold. It was the glorious year of 1836, the year we got our independence. The Swedes found that it was more expensive to own Jan Mayen, our island of 50, than it was to have it be independent. Our great economy, based off of us fishing, managed to break even. As our country was so small we had no taxes. Some may call that an inefficient system. I thought it was nice. We lived like cold Injuns'. We just did things for each other. Our fish was shared, so was the clothes we wore. They were barely afforded by the meager earnings we made by the fish trade. Nevertheless, we had many of the great works of romanticist literature enjoyed by the upper class of France, Prussia and Britain. Some great works created by my neighbor 14 miles away included: The Polar Verse, and a great painting of the Aurora Borealis, God's Greens. Our mighty prestige lasted through the ages. We negotiated with the Danes in the year 1851 for land. We now call it the Polar Bear Purchase. The islands of Greenland, Iceland, and the Faroese isles were ceded to us. We, as the now glorious nation of Jan Mayen needed to culturally represent all the Polar Bears. Like Italy was for Italians, Jan Mayen is for Polar Bears. I myself am 1/8 Polar Bear. These polar bears are glorious; they represent us in the Polar Bear Presidential System. They lead our glorious armies. In 1879, I was an older man, I write this on my deathbed. In 1879, the British, Jealous of our Glory attacked. We were unable to fight them on the land, so we fought them on the seas. Our Glorious polar bear-God Generals punctured holes in the Ships. We settled a peace, We gained the Shetland Isles, and Orkney. Our Nation may not have a great history. But I have pride in our great nation.
~1882, Zachary Burd, National Historian of Jan Mayen