Tired. So very very tired. I've been working my butt off ever since Janet died trying to make sure the infirmary functions just like she had things. Janet ran a very tight ship and apparently I had no clue how tight it was until now. SIGH. I miss her, I really do and her presence literally drips from the infirmary walls. It's like I expect her to walk in at any moment and its just another ache in my heart that she never will again.
This week has been so hectic and the fact it's a Friday brings a wonderful sense of relief. Maybe I can finally take it easy this weekend, preferably in Jack's arms.
Hmmm that's odd, the lights aren't turned on. Normally Jack lights up the house like Las Vegas if he manages to beat me home. Usually this is a rarity but not lately—for once he's the one working 9 to 5 and I'm the night owl. Strange isn't it? Ohhh all I want to do is strip, burn this uniform and slip into a tub neck deep in perfumed, soapy water.
Insert my key in the lock, give a turn and the door gives a creak as I push it open. Okay this is getting weird, the living room is dark and so is the kitchen.
"Jack?" I drop my keys and my purse on the table near the door and rub the back of my neck as I head down the hall towards the master bedroom.
Where is he? A quick peek in the first guest bedroom that doubles as a study, the walls are covered with all of Jack's awards—he wanted to put them over the mantle but quite frankly there isn't enough room! Jack's been decorated more times then a used Christmas tree and if we hung up everything he's ever gotten the certificates would go all the way up the chimney to the roof. So what wouldn't fit over the fireplace is in this room, needless to say there's very little else in here because of the O'Neill Wall-o-Fame. But no he's not in here or the other guest room, sometimes he'll crash on the bed and read.
The master bedroom door is cracked open and there's a thin band of light coming from behind it. I think I've found my missing fiancé.
"Jack?" I peek my head around the door and what I see there makes my eyes widen. The card table is set up at the foot of the bed and a white satin table cloth and a pair of silver candlesticks with tall white lit candles is on it. There's also a silver bucket with what looks like champagne chilling in it. A pair of tall wine glasses is the last things on the table.
"Honey are you here?" I ask as my fingers glide along the slick surface of the satin.
The bathroom door opens and Jack comes out, dressed in tight black jeans in his bare feet and a dark green button down shirt. Whoa! Jack's jeans looks like they were spray painted on; normally he's into baggy and comfy but not tonight. These fit him like a second skin and suddenly the room is very warm.
He smiles at my astonishment and goes to the bucket, plucking the bottle out of it.
"Thought we'd do a little celebrating tonight--" He states as he peels the foil top off the champagne and pops the cork.
"Celebrating? Am I forgetting something?"
I get handed a glass of champagne and Jack shakes his head. "Nope."
"Anniversary? Birthday? Promotion?"
"Nope--" He pours one a glass for himself and touches it to mine before drinking.
"Jack—Sweetheart I'm really confused here and I've had a rough day. Can you explain to me exactly what we're celebrating?" I have a drink and he takes the glass from my hand and puts both hands on my shoulders rubbing them. "You look beat, how about a rubdown?"
"How about you tell me the truth?" I take his hands and hold them in mine. I'm looking into his face seeing him struggle with something before looking away. Something's definitely on his mind, I can tell by how tight his lips are and the way his brow creased.
"Jack?" Cupping his chin I turn his face back towards me. "What's this all about?"
"Our future--" He tells me those eyes looking like warm honey in the soft glow of the flickering candles.
"What about it? We're going to get married Jack we just haven't had much time to talk about the plans that's all."
"We've had no time Gill and I proposed to you over a year ago--"
Jack's frustration is clear as we sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm tired of waiting Gill, I love you and I want to build a life with you--" He pulls me into his arms holding me tight and I can't help but melt. I've known this man for two years now and he still manages to amaze me sometimes with his honesty and sincerity.
"I want to build a life with you too Jack, I really do and I'm sorry things have gotten in the way of our plans."
"Yeah well, not anymore--"
"What?" I break the hug looking into his face. "What do you mean?"
He sighs, again taking my hands in his. "I know you might be mad at me but—with the help of Carter, Daniel, Teal'c and Hammond I've planned our wedding."
WHAT?? WHAT did he just say? He PLANNED our wedding? I blink at him a few times, not sure if I've heard him correctly.
"You what?"
With a sigh, Jack leans to one side and pulls a card out of his back pocket. "Here, take a look."
I take a white card with the simple border from him and look it over:
Colonel Jonathan C. O'Neill
&
Captain Gillian E. MacKenzie
Request your presence at their wedding Saturday May 1st at the AFA Chapel at
1 o'clock.
Reception immediately following at the AFA Officers Club.
I don't think I can breathe right now and I think my heart has fallen into my shoes. I read the words in the fancy writing over and over again and they just don't seem real. I can't believe he's done this I really can't. I raise my head to look at him and he's cringing, expecting me to be seriously mad. My hands are trembling and so is my bottom lip as I reach out and throw my arms around his neck. Anger is the furthest thing from my mind right now and that's the truth.
"You think I'm mad Jack?" The words are choked out of my tight throat and I can barely get them out.
"I thought you would be--" He whispers as he bear hugs me.
"No—not at all!"
"I sent the invitations to your parents and mine and my sisters and to a few people from the mountain I want to be there. I mean besides the team--" He relaxes; I can feel the tension loosening his frame and with it comes a sigh. I guess he really thought I would be angry for not including me in the plans he made.
"There's a florist that agreed to make some simple decorations out of any flower you choose and through Daniel I found a seamstress that's waiting for you to contact her. She can do pretty much any design of wedding dress."
"God you really did plan this out didn't you?" I pull back from the hug and both my hands come to his face. "I can't believe you did this Jack--" Leaning in I give him a kiss, the slow dance of our roaming mouths all the sweeter thanks to the champagne.
The kiss breaks and Jack's lips glide past my mouth and chin and head straight for my neck. "Missed you Gill--"
"I missed you too--"
He lifts his head again and kisses me, hard. I know what this kind of kiss means, its everything Jack wants me to know but not necessarily voice. How much he's missed me, how much he cares—and most of all how much he really loves me. My hands reach up to thread through his hair, I'm trying to return the kiss as best I can, all of these things are swirling around in my mind and suddenly something snaps deep inside me. The warm tears are rolling down my face and I don't fight them.
Why am I crying?
Is it simply the fatigue of long hours spent underground that's brought on this emotional onslaught? Too weary and worn to keep my feelings in check? No I don't think so.
Or maybe…Are these tears just more of the mourning process over the loss of Janet? It hasn't been that long and sometimes grief can sneak back and strike at the most unexpected times.
Nope. That's not it either.
The answer is simple. The simple, plain truth of two people. Two people from two very different walks of life that found another and Lord know to this day I don't know how it happened. I came to the mountain and found something I never expected. A life and love, a man that gives me a reason to wake up in the morning and close my eyes and go to sleep at night.
I pull back and touch Jack's cheek gently; he's eyeing me undoubtedly worried about the wet streaks down my face.
"It's good that you're crying right?"
Jack--Oh love of my life—tender of my yard—drinker of my beer and most of all…giver of GOOD NOOKIE. I can't help but smile as I lean closer and give him another kiss.
"It's good Jack—its all very very good--" I close my eyes, resting my head on his shoulder.
He sighs; wraps his arms around me and plants a kiss in my hair.
For a long time we just hold each other and neither one of us says a word. Maybe it's just too late in the day or maybe it's because we don't have to. Maybe we've gone beyond words now and the beating of our hearts together says it all.
END.