Aggrievances

Prologue

"I don't care if I live or die," she mumbled against his sleeve, now damp from too many tears. His fingers combed through her tangled hair in an attempt to quiet the words that fell from her lips, dry against his skin from too many breathless sobs.

Bella Swan was falling apart.

It was the first time she had exposed herself in such a way to him, crying openly about the loss of the love of her life. It wasn't fair. Jacob knew that if he were with her, he'd never make her cry. He'd never leave her like this. Anyone who could abandon a girl as incredibly perfect as she was had never deserved her affections in the first place. It was moments like this where he felt at odds with himself. Jacob knew he was no alternative to the perfect Edward Cullen, but it didn't keep him from wanting to offer his feelings to the whimpering woman in his arms. At the same time, if he could have brought back the bastard, he would have done it, too. Just so she wouldn't hurt anymore.

"Shh. Shh, Bella…" he mumbled awkwardly against her hair. He had no experience in dealing with upset women, even if he had two sisters. Neither of them had gone through something like this. No one, not Bella's parents nor her friends, knew how to resuscitate her. He was all she had. He was the only one she came to anymore. For that, he was grateful.

She looked up at him then, through the clumps of her soaked eyelashes and the strands of dark hair that clung to her soaked cheeks. Her dark eyes, swollen and red from so much crying, searched his for something, anything, that she could hold on to and claim as her own. Swallowing hard, he offered it to her—everything that he was, everything that he wanted to be.

When she brought her lips against his, he was more worried that relieved. Jacob could become a delusional fool when he was alone, imagining that it was he that she wanted and longed for. However, here, faced with the consequences of another man's selfish choice, he couldn't bring himself to kiss her back.

Bella pulled away, blinking back tears. She just wanted to be touched. Fingers winding their way into his dark hair, she ignored the voices that warned against what she planned on doing and moved in for another kiss. This time he didn't refuse her. He was only human, after all. At least partially.

It wasn't the tender moment he had hoped it would be. Many a night he had woken up, tangled into sheets that been pulled taut around his legs. He would think of her then, and how she would someday see that he was the only one that truly understood and loved her. He would imagine the way she tasted and smelled, and how soft she would be underneath his hungry lips. His dreams were always more pleasant than his reality. Even now, when he got the only thing he had really wanted, it was nothing like he his expectations.

It was too late to stop. She pressed herself against him, eager to forget about everything inside of her that hurt and focus on something that made her happy, even fleetingly. Jacob Black. He wasn't aware of how far it was going until he felt her bare skin against the thin material of his t-shirt. Perhaps it was the wolf inside of him, or the hormonal teenager. He just couldn't stop, even if he knew it was for the best.

He had never expected to lose his virginity in a garage, though perhaps he would have found it amusing if he could have thought more clearly. It was her first time, too, and it made him feel guilty as they clung to one another, bodies taking over when their minds could no longer function. The rhythm of their coupling would be something that haunted him for weeks after she had stopped speaking to him.

Once it was over he attempted to catch his breath to speak, his shallow breathing warm against her soft throat. She wasn't moving underneath him, and that realization made his heart plummet into his stomach. Propping himself up on the hard concrete with an elbow, he stared down into the darkness of her eyes, searching for a clue as to what she was thinking. No one could ever tell what was going on in that mind of hers.

"I made a mistake," she whispered finally, her eyelids slowly closing. Her words hurt him worse than anything else she could have said. It was true, but it didn't take the pain away. He felt like he was drowning.

"Bella, I…I'm sorry," he mumbled, tearing his fingers through his long hair. He knew better than this. He knew better than to sleep with a girl who didn't want him. Stupid, sentimental fool. It surprised him when she reached up to gently cup his clenched jaw with her hand, so smooth against his own skin. He kissed at the pad of her thumb as she pulled away. They both knew this would never happen again.

As she dressed awhile later, he was careful to keep his eyes averted and his heart locked down. There was no use in changing her mind, and he wasn't going to cry. He could feel it without showing it. Jacob pulled his own clothing back on as quickly as possible, hoping that they could erase what has happened and go back to normal.

Nothing had to change. He could act as if he had never kissed her, never touched her at all. That was alright with him. Everything could be alright. As he stole a glance at her, watching as she became just as mechanical around him as she was with everyone else, he knew that she couldn't pretend. She would never have the skills of fooling herself like he did, constantly.

"I should go. Charlie will be wanting dinner."

It was a poor excuse, and they both knew it. Charlie was thrilled to know that the two spent so much time together. The man had taken care of himself for countless years alone. Jacob was fairly sure he could make himself a sandwich. Still, he didn't push. He had already broken enough boundaries for one day.

"Tomorrow? Will I see you tomorrow?" Jacob cursed himself for sounding so pathetic. That sounded whiny, even to him.

"Yeah, of course," she replied distantly. He watched, rooted into place, as she wandered out of his car garage and towards the truck Charlie had bought for her a year before.

Shoving his hands deep within the pockets of his jeans, he managed to shuffle away only after he could no longer hear the rumbling of her vehicle.

•••

Bella Swan didn't come back. She ignored all calls from Jacob, and avoided his attempts to meet up with her when she least expected it. She resumed her zombification, ignoring friends and the attempts of her father to pull her out of her shell. Now, not only did Edward haunt her dreams, Jacob consumed her thoughts as well. The knowledge of what she did in a moment of weakness made her ill, and soon sleeping in to skip classes became an everyday occurrence. Her grades began to slip, and it was only after Mr. Banner informed her father that she began to attend school more regularly.

Three weeks after her last encounter with Jacob, Bella disappeared entirely from Forks, Washington. The effect of her absence was first noticed on Charlie, who wore a permanently vacant expression and explained to anyone who asked that Bella was just 'visiting her mother for awhile.'

When the end of the school year arrived and she still hadn't returned, the rumors began to circulate. Why had Bella left? What had happened? Where was she, really?

Everyone remained curious except Jacob Black, who had fallen into a state similar to the one Bella had lived in since the absence of Edward Cullen.

Okay, let's discuss. I know this is a bad and a pretty hilariously awful concept. However, I had this idea the other night while trying to brainstorm for my other fic, Courtship. This was an excercize...I may continue it if people really want me to. I know what happens next, and I'll probably write it if I get bored again. Enjoy, though. If you find it funny or something.