Vigilante Love
By: ioanhoratio
A/N: So Vigilante was a great episode. Lindsay/Anna rocked it hard HOWEVER we had ZERO DL interaction which left me sad and disappointed. Since the writers had to fuck up the episode by giving us DL fans the big middle finger I decided to write this to appease myself. I wrote it quickly and rather...emotionally so I have no idea if this is going to translate well to the page. Also I'm not really a "M" rated author, but I figured I'd "go all the way" with this one since I am making up for the last 10 episodes of practically no DL. I also didn't beta this so be warned, there may be a few errors.
"Hush baby girl," Danny chided softly to his sleepy daughter as she started babbling to him in an attempt to stave off sleep. "No more stories, it's bedtime. Close your eyes."
Lucy blinked at him and pulled her stuffed dog closer to her body. "I s'eep now." She closed her eyes and began snoring dramatically.
"Lucy," Danny warned. "Be quiet." His butt was going numb from sitting on the floor, but he wouldn't trade this time with his daughter for anything-even the nights she frustrated him.
"Dadee," Lucy whined.
"Luce," Danny cut in, his tone suggesting she shouldn't push his patience.
"Sing Dadee," Lucy begged, ignoring his warning.
Danny was about to lay down the law when he paused. "A'right Lucy. Daddy will sing, but you have to close your eyes. If you open your eyes then Daddy will stop singing. Deal?"
"Diwl," Lucy promised, and squeezed her eyes shut but managed to request, "Aiyal peez."
"Ariel huh?" Danny bemoaned the fact that he knew all the words to Part of Your World. It was a fact that he kept as well hidden as possible. Lindsay would sometimes threaten him with telling everyone at work his dark secret, but even she knew if she ever actually did tell it was grounds for divorce. However, as a parent sacrifices had to be made.
He airily began singing his daughter's favorite song, his voice breaking slightly as he tried to sing quietly. Lucy kept her eyes tightly closed, but Danny could see her little pink lips moving to the words. He reached out and stroked her hair back and rubbed her back soothingly. As he found the perfect volume he repeated the song, noticing Lucy's face relax and her breathing begin to even out. By the time Danny had finished his third rendition of the song Lucy was fast asleep.
He stiffly pulled himself up off the floor, placed a kiss against Lucy's cheek and made his way out into the hall. He blinked several times, his eyes have to adjusting from Lucy's dim night light to the bright lights of the hall. He could still hear the shower running and knew Lindsay was taking her time. He thought about joining her, pushing her to talk to him, but decided against it. As much as he wanted to talk to her, and even knew they would talk eventually, she was still an adult, and she deserved her privacy to deal with her thoughts. He'd been careful at the lab, just as he knew she had been. She needed to stay focused and sometimes the temptation was to run to each other when things got tough. It wasn't a big deal, but Danny could tell this one had really gotten under her skin and he could tell that if she had allowed herself to find him her tenuous control over her emotions would have been gone completely. So he hadn't pressed; he hadn't pressed on the silent ride home, he hadn't pressed during dinner, or play time with Lucy, he didn't interfere during bath time and gave no argument when Lindsay begged off story time so she could escape to the shower.
He plopped down on the couch, turned the baby monitor on, grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels until he found a game to watch. It wasn't long before he heard someone rummaging around and turned to find his wife making her way into the living room. She was dressed in a pair of baggy pajama bottoms and her Bozeman P.D. t-shirt. Her hair was still wet from her shower and hung in tangled waves around her face-which was clean of make up. To Danny she couldn't have looked better.
"How was your shower babe?" he asked.
Lindsay just nodded but didn't say anything. Instead she made her way over to him and climbed into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her breath hot against his skin, but her damp hair cool against his face..
"Hey," Danny said, slightly surprised by her actions. He didn't hesitate however to wrap his arms around her, one arm resting against her drawn up knees, the other supporting her back. "I've gotch you," he soothed.
Lindsay began to cry quietly, her tears wetting his shirt.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked.
She took a few shuddering breathes and said, "Today was awful. I...I felt so selfish. Everyone was accusing me of not caring, and...I guess they were right in a way."
"Whoa, what are you talking about? You're the most selfless, giving person I know. The choices you've made, the way you saved me when I was in that wheelchair, the sacrifices you make for Lucy..."
Lindsay sighed. "That was different."
"It's not," Danny argued.
"Kate Price was a woman who needed help, and I...I didn't give it to her," Lindsay admitted sadly.
"Lindsay why are you doing this to your self?"Danny pleaded, bringing her face up to look at him.
"She was reaching for help. I could never do that," Lindsay told him, dropping her gaze. "She'd been raped and attacked and she was at a support group, trying to get help. I was suppose to help those woman, but all I could think as I sat there was how useless it was. I tried a support group after my friends were killed and I hated every second of it. I only went once and never went back. When I was in Kate's group it reminded me of how it felt to be a victim and I wanted to run out of there."
"I remember," Danny said, "you came home quite upset."
"I was so selfish. I was so consumed with what was going on inside me that I didn't even consider the consequences of my actions on those woman, and today I came face to face with those consequences."
Danny shifted her so that she sat a bit higher, no longer cutting off the circulation to his leg. "You are always so hard on yourself," he scolded gently. "You went through a terrible, violent experience in your life. We've seen the effects of that on victims; how many give up on life or become self destructive? You chose to spend your life helping victims, helping people like you. You need to give yourself a break."
"But Danny, I sat there almost angry with them." Lindsay groaned.
Danny tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why?"
"Because I know how difficult it is to deal with life altering events but I never gave up, I never hid behind what happened to me. I wanted to shout at them to quit whining and...I don't know what else. What's wrong with me? Who thinks that about a rape victim?" Lindsay begged him for an answer.
Danny stared at her in disbelief. "Linds, you really think that?"
"You think I'm terrible," Lindsay said, and made a move to stand, but Danny tightened his grip.
"No Linds, you don't understand me. You really think there's somethin' wrong with you?"
Lindsay gave him a confused look.
Danny shook his head, and asked, "Why do you want them to quit cryin' about what happened to them?"
"I...I don't know, I guess I just...I don't know," Lindsay confessed honestly.
"Think about it," Danny implored, "there's a reason. Think about why you don't want to hear them talk about what happened to them, you don't want them at a support group. Why not?"
Lindsay had never stopped to exam the reasons behind her feelings. She had alway been so overwhelmed by her emotions that she simply chose to get away from the situation as soon as possible. "I don't...I don't want them to be victims anymore," she said slowly.
Danny gave her a reassuring nod, indicating for her to continue her thought. "I don't want them to be sad anymore. I want them to find their lives again, like I have. I want them to feel love, and be able to give love. I don't want them to be stuck in their terror. I want them to be able to move on."
Danny smiled at her. "See, you aren't the awful person you thought you were. You're special Lindsay. You're strong, brave, and caring. You have a unique perspective when it comes to dealin' with this stuff, and you need to stop feelin' like you need to apologize for that or hide that. You haven't stopped growin', and even now I see how difficult it is for you to speak about this but you're doin' great, especially if you compare it to a few years ago."
Lindsay frowned at him. "I don't deserve you trying to make me feel better. I didn't want to hear good stuff about me."
He couldn't help the smirk on his face. "I know. You wanted me to tell you how terrible you are and that your feelings are justified, but you came to the wrong person. I'm your biggest fan. Well, I'm only half of your biggest fan, Lucy's the other half."
"I love you," Lindsay said taking his face between her hands, "and I want you to know that I know how lucky I am to have you."
"You've turned me into such a sap," Danny laughed, pleased beyond measure by her revelation. "I love you," he responded. "I need you so mu...
Lindsay stopped him with her lips against his. She ran her hands up through the short hairs on his neck, pressing her body firmly into his. She pulled back slowly, their noses maintaining contact as she whispered, "Show me."
"Linds," Danny breathed, not wanting to be distracted by sex.
"I don't want to talk anymore Danny, I don't want to feel sad. I need you, I need to be with you, to feel you and feel your love for me," she replied, and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.
Danny's nose filled with the comforting sent of her shampoo and the heat of her body pushed him to the edge. He felt and recognized every curve of her and felt safe. He wanted to give her the same feeling. He stood, keeping her in his arms. He leaned forward enough for her to grab the remote and switch the t.v. off, as well as grab the monitor. He paused by the wall and Lindsay used the toe of her foot to switch the lights off.
As he carried her towards their bedroom she pressed kisses to his chin and neck, her need for him becoming desperate. Soon he was laying her onto their bed. She gripped his shirt and held him down near her, capturing his lips, her tongue pressing for entrance, which he freely gave.
As the kiss deepened she slid her hands under his shirt, running them along his abs. Danny felt his back begin to burn from his awkward position and pulled away long enough to strip off his shirt and toss it to the ground. He then move to lie next to her, but again she stopped him. She tugged on his arm so that he landed on top of her. Danny, always conscious of her tiny frame, usually worked to keep as much of his weight off of her, but this time she wasn't allowing it. Before he could move she wrapped her legs around his, pinning him to her. Again she pulled his face down to hers, and reveled in the feeling of his lips so firmly pressed against hers. Danny soon moved his mouth down her body, pausing to peel her shirt away and exposing her lightly scented skin to his touch. His facial hair tickled her breasts as he kiss along their swell, only heightening the sensations. Lindsay let out a moan as Danny finally took a nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing the sensitive bud. Her hands pushed through his hair and along his shoulders as he sucked at her body. Lindsay couldn't stop her hips from grinding against his in reaction to the waves of pleasure coursing through her body. She moved a foot to the waist of his pants and began pushing the material down. She gave a gentle tug to his hair, bringing his lustful gaze to hers.
"Danny, I want you inside me, please," she nearly begged.
"Not yet," he told her, "I don't want to hurt you."
He knew how badly Lindsay needed him, and was happy to oblige, but he knew he needed to protect her from herself. He knew she wasn't ready, and if he allowed her desperation to dictate their love making then it wouldn't be the experience she needed right now. Instead he stood and helped her divest the last of her clothing, then followed that by losing his.
He lifted the corner of the blanket and Lindsay shifted enough to slid under it. Danny soon joined her and didn't argue when she again pulled him on top of her. They resumed kissing, only this time they were gently open mouth kisses that allowed them to maintain better eye contact. Soon however kissing and caressing wasn't enough.
Danny began to again move down her body; worshiping her curves and dips. He lavished attention on the other breast before moving further down. He placed several reverent kisses along the faint scars left from her stretch marks; the only remaining evidence of her having been heavy with his child.
Lindsay was squirming beneath him, her desire driving her hips to press against his arousal.
"You're beautiful Lindsay," he whispered, "beautiful in so many ways." He moved back up her body, but moved a hand down to her center. He teased her with his fingers, running them along her inner thigh and through her curls.
Her heart filled with love at the look of adoration on his face, the deep real connection between them only growing strong in their moment of true intimacy. "I love you Danny," she said as a promise.
Needing to again connect with her, he captured her mouth with his and swallowed her gasp as he finally slid a finger into her. Her fingers tightened on his arms, but they soon relaxed their grip as her mind caught up with her physical reaction. Danny added a second finger and began moving them, preparing her for more.
She loved his eyes on her, they had darkened to a deep blue, but it was the love and affection she found in them that prompted her desire to please him, to never be apart from him, to show him what he means to her. "You are my life Danny. You've given me so much happiness..."she pause as her breath caught in her throat. She was getting closer to her release, and reached down to stop his hand. "I'm ready."
Danny brought both arms to rest next to her head, and Lindsay spread her legs wider, allowing him to settle between them. He rested his forehead against hers, and slid easily into her. Lindsay arched against him in delight, her aching finally finding soothing. He placed a light kiss on the end of her nose and began to move in and out at a steady pace. Lindsay wrapped her legs around him, moving her pelvis in time with his thrusts. It was a feeling of utter contentment as she accepted his body into hers. She loved the comfort she felt from his body.
They continued their lazy pace of love making, whispering words of commitment and solidarity, and swapping playful kisses. Lindsay felt her orgasm begin to build, fueled by more that just the movement of his body.
Danny knew she was close; her breath began to come in quick secession, her movements against him became more frantic, and his name sounded from her lips over and over again. Soon she was wrapping her arms tightly around him, burying her face against his neck as she moaned out her release. She clung to him as waves of pleasure washed over her, warming her, drawing a satisfied sigh from her lips.
He felt his own release beckoning, and sped up his thrusting. He couldn't help the moan that escaped as the muscles in his body began to tighten. Lindsay moved her hands to grip his backside, helping him move. "That's it Danny, let me feel you. Let go baby."
Danny gripped the pillow her head was resting on, and with a final thrust spilled into her. "Lindsay," he called, his hips pushing him into her fully, stilling his body as his orgasm moved through him. Neither had experienced an intense release, but this wasn't about the end, it was about being together. Their emotional connection had grown in her need for him and in his readiness and willingness to make her his entire world.
He finally collapsed, once again moving to get his weight off of her. "No," she said, "wait, just a little while longer. It feels so good to have you here, to be protecting me."
Danny shifted enough so that he was at least not pressing on her stomach but that his body still covered hers, and drawing the blankets up higher cocooned them together. His head rested next to hers on her pillow. Their breathing slowed, and their eyelids began to droop. "I love you," he whispered sleepily into her hair, "an' I will always be here for you."
With that declaration Lindsay felt the last bit of her sadness melt away.
The End
Thanks for reading!