To Love a Girl with Fishlike Lips by Luvscharlie
"Oo would do such a fing?" Hermione sobbed as she clutched her extended stomach, and Charlie guided her by the elbow to a chair in the flat above the shop. He shrugged his shoulders at his baby sister as though in search of a translation.
Ginny patted Hermione's arm. "I don't know which of them was stupid enough to put chocolate out on the counter with a pregnant woman in the house." Hermione's lips continued to swell and pucker as the light bulb in Charlie's head flickered its recognition.
"Why?" Hermione wailed on.
"Don't you worry, honey. You'll be just fine. Charlie's going to go find our two idiot brothers and bring them back here to make everything better." She continued the comforting patting of Hermione's arm and tilted her chin at the door.
"Oh, yeah." Charlie moved to leave as the door downstairs opened and the thunder of footsteps resounded up the stairs.
Fred arrived first… unfortunately for him.
Ginny attacked. "What were you thinking, you moron? You don't leave your ridiculous chocolate experiments around an eight months pregnant woman. It's cruel and inhuman!" She nodded and Charlie slapped him on the back of the head.
"Ow! Damn that hurt!"
"You left that experimental chocolate laying around so that anyone could have eaten it. Is that the way you boneheads are going to act when my little niece or nephew makes his appearance?" Ginny patted Hermione's stomach and inclined her chin at Charlie once more.
Thwap.
"Bloody hell, Charlie. When did she become your puppeteer?" Fred grabbed his head, attempting to rub away the pain… or perhaps the knot that was forming. He brushed Charlie off and made his way over to his wife. "My what big lips you have…"
Hermione howled, the tears coming faster.
"Okay, not funny. Pregnancy hormones. Gotta love them." Fred leaned over a hand on her stomach as he sized up the situation.
Thwap
Ducking too late, Fred nearly toppled over. "What the hell was that for? Ginny didn't tell you to do that."
Charlie seemed to ponder. "Nah, that one was just because I felt like it."
Fred turned toward him, arms outstretched in frustration. "And do you feel better?"
Seeming to ponder further, Charlie nodded. "Yes, in fact, I do. Thank you for asking."
"Well, now that you feel better, might I attend to my wife?" Without waiting for an answer, Fred turned back to Hermione. "Don't worry, love. There's a cure." He leaned in, and pressed his mouth to her swollen lips, slipping his tongue between them.
She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, drawing him in, and then bit down… hard.
Fred howled in pain, dancing around and clasping his hand over his mouth. He could only force one word out through his rapidly swelling tongue. "Why?"
The kiss-cure had worked and Hermione's lips were once more normal-sized. "Pay back. You knew I had been craving chocolate. You left that there on purpose. I am not a guinea pig, Fred Weasley!"
George stepped from around the corner, sniggering. "I can't believe you actually ate it. Really, Hermione. How long have you lived with us?"
Sucking in her breath, Hermione exclaimed, "It was you?!"
Fred took a page from Ginny's book, pointing and nodding his head in George's direction.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Charlie reclined against the wall. "It doesn't work for you."
Fin.
A/N: Originally written for the fwhg_ldws (Fred Weasley/Hermione Granger Last Drabble Writer Standing Competition) on Live Journal where the prompts were chocolate and a kiss. This one made it through to the next round.