AN: This little piece came to my mind after 6.08. I really liked the scene with Robert and Rosamund in them and I have always thought that they probably get on rather well. As Rosamund seemed a bit lonely to me during the whole series, I thought this would make sense.
Please let me know what you think.
Thank you!
Kat
"Thank you and goodnight," she says and watches her maid leave the room. She looks at the clock and sees that it is only 9:45. She had planned to sit in bed and read as she usually does but somehow it doesn't hold much appeal for her. She felt how lonely she truly is today more than ever when she had her solitary three course dinner in the dining room. Of course she dressed for it although it was only to keep up an appearance for the servants. She only returned to London today and after four weeks of family lunches and dinners, of watching her nieces fighting for love, of helping her sister-in-law win a huge battle against her mother, of constant bickering with Robert, she feels more alone than ever before.
.
It really started three months ago when her mother telephoned her rather late at night, telling her in a voice thick with fear and tears that Robert had been taken very ill and that he was at the Downton hospital undergoing an emergency operation. She knew without asking that her mother was fearing for Robert's life and what followed was one of the worst nights of her life. She couldn't sleep, she imagined the most horrible scenes and every noise sounded like the telephone to her. Her mother had said that she would telephone again as soon as she knew more and when the telephone finally rang and her mother said 'He survived,' she thanked God and for what was probably the first time in decades packed her suitcase herself. She would have done so sooner had she not been afraid that she would have to take all and only her black dresses.
She went from the train station right to the hospital where Robert sat propped up in bed, Cora, Mary and Edith by his side. They talked about a letter Cora had received from her mother and for a second it had been hard for her to believe that they were in a hospital. It all sounded so natural. Only when she took a good look at her brother, saw how pale he was and how tired he looked, did she remember that he had just won a fight for his life.
"Who will sit at my sick bed?" she asked him later that day when they were alone for a few minutes and he looked at her perplexedly.
"The same people who sit at my sick bed. And I will be there as well. If you can stand having me." He said the last line with something akin to a smile on his face and she couldn't refrain from crying then anymore. In that moment she thought that it was only relief that had made her cry but she has since then realized that it was much, much more. Unless she by some spectacular coincidence fell sick at Downton, nobody would be at her bedside, not the first day or the first night. If what had happened to Robert happened to her it would only be Meade and maybe a footman who saw it. They would call an ambulance and she would be saved, the hospitals in London are much better than the one in Downton, but who would she be save for? What would she be saved from?
.
She shakes herself out of her reverie, she cannot dwell on those thoughts. She has to face the fact that she is alone. It is what she wanted. After Marmaduke's death Robert and Cora both offered a home at Downton several times but she did not accept the offer. She did not want to accept it, she wanted to be in London, at the heart of life. After she almost walked into Lord Hepworth's trap Robert and Cora both offered her a home again, even her mother did, but again she refused. She has always seen herself as an independent woman who does not need other people around herself, a woman who lives an exciting life in one of the world's most exciting cities. She keeps telling herself that she isn't really alone, hardly a week goes by in which she doesn't have one or more members of the family staying a night. Even Tom has come on his own a few times, when he had estate matters to deal with and Mary couldn't or wouldn't accompany him. Since dismissing almost all the staff at Grantham House both Robert and Cora stay with her regularly, sometimes together, sometimes just one of them. Mary and Edith have almost stopped asking for permission to stay, they seem to think of her house as a free hotel and she loves it.
She returned home a few days after Robert had been dismissed from the hospital but returned to Downton when their mother left without saying a word and stayed in the South of France. Her original plan had been to stay for a few days only but then she became sick with a cold and Cora asked her to stay. She stayed even after the cold had gone and only left when she had the feeling that she really couldn't trespass upon the family any longer.
But now, all alone in her bedroom she wishes she had stayed and she is looking for excuses to return to Downton. Maybe the children will miss her and ask for her. She loved seeing Mary, Edith, and Sybil after tea when they were still small and she now loves seeing Sybbie, George, and Marigold.
She falls asleep eventually and wakes the next morning to breakfast in bed and an empty house. She telephones Edith's flat only to find out that she isn't there. It does not surprise her, her nieces have made up and Edith wants the security and comfort of family.
She remains alone for a few more days. Of course people she calls her friends sometimes call but talking to them just isn't the same as talking to Robert or Cora or Mary or Edith or her mother or even Tom.
She walks past the telephone when it rings and answers it. When Cora invites her to dinner at the Abbey that night, apologizing for the late invite, explaining that she thought that Robert had already telephoned her when Robert thought that she had done it, it makes her laugh.
She loves her brother and she loves her sister-in-law and she loves the marriage they have. She takes the next train to York and feels peace settling on her mind and heart when she sits down in the train that will take her from York to Downton. She is picked up at the Downton train station by Robert who greets her with a kiss on the cheek and says "I am glad to see you".
"Are you really little brother?" she asks.
"Would you like to walk to the Abbey?" Robert asks in response and it makes her laugh.
"No. I am sorry. And I am glad to see you too." 'And you have no idea how glad,' she thinks but does not say it out loud. There is no full complement waiting for them, in fact Cora is the only person waiting for them in front of the house.
"I suppose the days of the full complement are long gone by," she says to Robert before he stops the car and he nods.
"So they are," he sighs although he does not seem to mind very much that he can, because of the lack of servants, kiss Cora on the lips as a form of greeting.
"Welcome home," Cora says to her and she wonders if her sister-in-law really means it.
As had become her habit the last time she stayed at Downton she joins Cora in her room after being dressed for dinner. Just as she expected Robert is in there as well and they do not look surprised at her barging into their private rooms. But she just couldn't resist and the moment she sits down in what is probably Robert's chair and he sits down on the edge of Cora's bed she realizes that this is what she missed the most. Talking, in fact just being, with the two people she trusts the most in the world. She sometimes thinks that she does not deserve their trust and kindness but quite contrary to what Cora said about a year ago, she is still welcome at the Abbey and regarded as a trustworthy sister and friend.
She sits next to Tom at dinner, who without her asking starts talking about a car repair shop Henry and he are planning to open on the estate. Henry who is sitting on her other side joins the conversation immediately and Cora, whom Henry would have been supposed to talk to seizes the opportunity to tell Robert that his dog chewed on one of her shoes. She doesn't seem to mind and when Mary admits that it was probably George who took the dog upstairs in the first place she becomes part of that conversation as well.
Rosamund has now stopped listening to Tom and Henry making plans but she is watching her family. Robert, Cora and Mary who are placed at three different parts of the table are loudly talking about the antics of their dog and George, Henry and Tom are discussing whether they should also sell cars without any regard for the people they should be talking to and Edith and Isobel are lost in a discussion about whether it would be a good idea to make working women the topic of the next edition of The Sketch. Although why they are discussing it Rosamund does not understand, they seem to agree on everything.
Her mother's eyes fix on her and she says "This would not have happened if your father was still here".
"No," she says.
Robert now stops talking to Mary and Cora turns to his mother and asks "What would not have happened?"
"So you realized that you were supposed to talk to me," their mother says and Robert looks rather consternated.
"Is that what you are trying to say? That we don't talk to the people 'we are supposed to talk to'?"
"Yes, that is what I am saying," their mother replies and a look of incredulity appears on Robert's face.
"Oh Mama, this is just a family dinner," he says and then rejoins the conversation with his wife and eldest daughter.
Later in the drawing room she watches the family again and thinks that their family dinners are a bigger affair than some peoples' house parties. Including her there are nine people, not counting the three children asleep in the nursery. A wave of jealousy overcomes her but she swallows it. It is not her brother's fault that he had all the luck when it came to family.
"What are you thinking about?" Her mother is standing right next to her, looking quite worried.
"Nothing."
"Rosamund," her mother sighs. "I've known you all your life. When you say that nothing is the matter, then something very serious is the matter."
"Why do you care?" she asks and her mother looks at her as if she was ready to make a hurtful joke. When she prepares herself for the impact her mother says
"Because I am your mother. Some people may say that I have a heart of stone but I do care about my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren."
"That is just it Mama. You have children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. I have none of that, I will never have any of it. All I have is an empty house in London. Oh I wish I had taken Robert upon his offer when I had the chance."
"What offer?" her mother asks and she can't help but tell her.
"To move back here. He offered it twice. After Marmaduke died and after the Lord Hepworth fiasco. But now it is too late. I can't very well tell him that I have changed my mind about an offer he made five years ago."
"Then I'll make the offer again," Robert says and grins at her. She hadn't even noticed him joining them.
"What?"
"Move back here if you want to. And if you think that you'll miss your London life, keep your house open. You could always go back and forth then."
"You are only saying that so that you can do that as well. If you let me live in your house I must let you live in mine." Their mother walks away shaking her head but Cora and Edith who have apparently listened laugh about it all.
"Your sister saw right through you," Cora says and joins them. Robert touches her hand briefly and she smiles at him.
The affection that Robert and Cora openly show for one another used to bother her and make her jealous but now it gives her a feeling of warmth and family.
"Thank you Robert. If Cora agrees then I will spend much more time here from now on."
"Of course I agree," Cora says and smiles again.
When she goes to her room that night and goes to sleep, she finally feels at home.