I do not own ONCE or any of its characters. I hope these stories bring you as much joy as they have me.
Loving Regina wasn't hard. It was in fact second nature to Emma. It was as easy as breathing and Emma did that without even thinking. No, loving Regina was never the hard part. It was allowing herself to be loved that Emma struggled with most. She had grown to understand that her life panned out the way it did because of a dark man with a dark heart. But it didn't stop the sting of knowing that she was for the better part of her life; unloved. So to be loved so deeply and so easily stopped her before she even started sometimes.
But, that was Emma's way. To overthink things and make big deals out of absolutely nothing. And naturally, the first time Regina told her she loved her and there was no room for doubt or discussion, Emma ran. She didn't run far. Just to the study downstairs. Who could or would love the girl that was unlovable? Or so she thought. Emma had grown up being bounced from foster home to orphanage to foster home and back again. She had never known what a true home was. So when something that looked an awful lot like home ended up being in the form of Regina Mills in a power suit, a son and two loving parents, she was lost in a sea of uncertainty with no indication of the direction of shore. Sure, she had parents now that loved her. And she knew they would have done and given any and everything to have kept her. And of course Henry loved her, she was after all his mother. But the reality was that she was still growing into being loved.
So the night that she laid in bed with Regina and looked up at the ceiling, thinking, she finally figured it all out. Regina's eyes never opened but they never needed to.
"I swear, I can nearly hear your thoughts Emma Swan-Mills." Regina said quietly from beside her. Emma's eyebrows scrunched in confusion and before the filter between her brain and mouth had a chance to kick in, the words had already left her mouth.
"Why do you love me?" The blonde asked, barely above a whisper. Regina's eyes were open then, and looking confusedly over to the younger woman beside her. She sucked her teeth, making a sort of "tsk" sound. "You're delirious. Go to sleep." She said and closed her eyes again.
"No," Emma pushed and rolled over onto her side. "Why, do you love me?" She pressed again.
Chocolate eyes searched green and Regina said the first honest thing that came to mind. "Well, why not?" She said so simply.
Emma looked at Regina like she might have sprouted a second head. "That's it? Why not? That's your answer?" She asked incredulously.
The brunette tucked her arm under her pillow. "Would you like a list of reasons?" She smiled. And it was that real smile that always set Emma's bones alight. The one that grounded her and also sent her soaring in the same breath.
Emma thought it over for a minute. "Yes, actually."
Regina, completely devoid of make up was still the most beautiful thing Emma had ever laid eyes on and that didn't go unnoticed on Regina's part. So she decided to start there.
"Well, for starters, even when I'm looking my worst, you still look at me like I'm the only woman in the world." She smiled.
Emma knew all too well that this was exactly how she felt. "You are the only woman in the world..for me at least." She said quietly. Regina scooted forward and kissed her lips gently.
"And that's why I love you." The older brunette said. "I also love how you are so protective of our little family. You take special care to ensure mine and Henry's safety, and when this baby arrives, I know you'll do the same for her." She smiled and rubbed the small baby bump that was beginning to show now. 4 and 1/2 months down, 4 and 1/2 months to go. "I love how when it's cold outside or it has snowed, you start my car for me before work and clean my windshield."
Emma smiled sheepishly at her wife and nodded against her hand she was resting her head on. "I do it because I love you. And I want you to be safe."
Regina smiled. "Yes, I know dear." She chuckled then. "Would you like to hear more reasons why I love you?"
Emma smiled wide and nodded. "Please."
Regina scooted closer into Emma and rested her head on her chest once Emma laid on her back. "I love the way you read books. How every emotion that's playing out in the book plays out on your face. Happiness, sadness, fear. I could read the books through your emotion and never have had to open the cover of any of them myself."
Emma's blush was evident and growing.
"And I absolutely love when you put my towel in the dryer and bring it up for me so it's warm when I get out." Regina shifted her head on Emma's chest so she could look up at her. "I love how you never lose hope. Or lose faith. I love how even on my worst days, you love me more than the day before. I can feel it Emma. I feel your love growing because mine does the same. You could never have done any of the sweet things I've named and I would still fall more in love with you everyday because you are you and you always find a way to show me I'm loved and protected and you do the same for Henry." She caressed Emma's cheek for a moment and smiled. "So the question isn't Why do I love you? The real question is, How could I not?"
Emma's smile and tear filled eyes spoke what words would have betrayed. Regina knew. And that's what mattered. For the first time in..well, ever, Emma accepted that maybe being loved was the easiest thing in her life. And maybe she deserved it. She didn't have to work for it anymore.
It just came naturally.
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