A/N This was written the summer before Season two aired. Spoilers go until that point I suppose.

Warnings: Language, verbal sexual comments, excessive use of the word Porn, minor Rachel bashing.

Disclaimer You caught me, I'm ryan murphy. O wait *looks in mirror* no I'm not. I'm a teenage girl up at 3am writing fanfiction. So, yeah, don't sue me.

"Alright guys," Mr. Schuester said that happy-go-lucky, look-at-me-I'm-on-crack, smile on his face, "I've got a new assignment for you all." He walked to the board and in large letters TECHNO.

"This week you're assignment is to preform, not a song of the techno genre, but rather a song that explores technology itself.

Immediately Rachel's hand shot into the air; not bother to wait for Mr. Schue to call on her she said, "Mr. Schuester, although your little tangents have led to some interesting numbers in the past, your recent obsession with being 'hip' is really going too far." She made air quotes around the word hip with her fingers as she continued, "While I understand there are some decent songs about technology that would be suitable I do not see this as working out well. I'm making a motion to reverse this assingnment, instead maybe we could sing about the past. A sweeter, simpler, more peaceful time for all"

"You mean before you learned how to speak" Santana asked sarcastically, "I think we can make this assignment work, it'll be nice to have a challenge for once"

"Agreed," Kurt said "just because Rachel is adverse to anything that isn't boring and outdated, as is clearly displayed by her wardrobe, that doesn't mean the rest of us are too."

"I never thought I'd say this….but I kind of agree with Kurt." Puck said with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Sorry Rachel," Mr. Schue said, not really looking sorry at all, "but majority rules. However, as you pointed out the song choices are limited for this assignment so I'm going to have you work in pairs."

Everyone nodded in agreement until they saw Mr. Schuester pull out the infamous Hat of Fate; slowly but surely each student made there way to the hat to pull a name. As more kids pair up Rachel became more nervous, ever since matt transferred schools they had an odd number of students and she did not like the thought of working with Mr. Schuester again.

"Rachel, your turn to choose." Mr. Schue said holding out the Hat. Rachel stepped forward and drew a name, stage smile fully in place. Her smile quickly faded when she read the name on her paper.

"Puck"

"No. Nonononono. This is NOT happening." She thought to herself, "ok, calm down Berry. Even Barbra must have dealt with difficult co-workers before. You are a star and you can make this work"

"Noah, what are you doing?" Rachel demanded from where she was sitting in the auditorium.

"Looking for a song, same as you" Puck replied, trying to shield his laptop screen from her prying eyes.

"No you aren't," she said craning her neck to see his monitor, "You're watching- ew! You're watching porn!"

"Well it keeps me form thinking about how much you annoy me."

"Horrible comebacks aside, you are supposed to be finding a technology song."

"I am, the videos have background music. Plus it's online; we wouldn't even have the internet if it wasn't for porn."

"What on earth inspired that moronic theory?"

"Face it," puck said closing his laptop, "all those brilliant guys who came up with the internet were probably just a bunch of geeks who couldn't get a chick of their own and wanted an easier way to get jack-off material at home."

"That is disgusting and you are a perv." Rachel stated matter-of-factly.

"Am not!"

"Yes, you are. Decent people don't spend all their free time watching other people have sex."

"Oh really," Puck said' "I bet I could find at least ten people, easy, who'll admit to purposely watching porn sometime in their life."

"I'm sure you could," Rachel quipped, "but they would all be horny jocks like you."

"Everyone in Glee club," Puck said after a moment of thought, "I say that I could get all of them to admit to watching it. Everyone except you, the club prude; I could even work our assignment into it all"

Well, Rachel Berry was not about to be called a prude by somebody as mentally and sexually disturbed as Noah Pucker man; and it would help get the song done. She put her hands on her hips and stepped towards the smirking boy in front of her,

"Bring. It. On."