Season 8, Spoiler for Affinity
I have an unnatural love for this song, always have. I couldn't get this out of my head so here it is. Hope you like!
Stargate not mine, characters not mine, quote from Affinity not mine, song not mine, band not mine...if only. Reviews are oh so welcome.
Oh and twisted thoughts that spin 'round my head,
I'm spinning, oh I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
of what was everything...
-Pearl Jam, Black
Sam
"I wouldn't be here."
What did that mean?
She had shown him the ring with the hope that he'd give her what she truly wanted, a way out of saying "Yes." Hoping beyond hope that he would tell her she was making a huge mistake and marrying the wrong man.
Instead...He'd let her go.
He'd let her go!
He'd given up!
He'd made the choice for the both of them and now she'd have to move on or continue to go crazy dissecting every look he gave her in the hopes that there was a sign hidden behind those infuriating brown eyes.
Fine. She had her answer.
All she'd ever wanted was a life more ordinary anyway, some semblance of normalcy. Now she was truly free to go after what she wanted...right?
Damn it. He let me go.
She should feel relief and joy. Instead, all felt black.
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky
Why, why, why can't it be
Why can't it be mine?
- Pearl Jam, Black
Jack
"What about you? If things had been different?"
"I wouldn't be here."
He wasn't even sure what that meant. There were so many things he'd change, take back, do differently.
He couldn't answer that question simply.
The one thing he was certain of was that he could not be that guy! He could not and would not be the reason for her to give up her happiness and as much as he hated to admit it, Pete had been making her happy these last few months. Her demeanor had changed so much that he found himself staring more than usual as she smiled, and truth be told, she'd been smiling a lot lately.
It made him want her even more. But he'd never let her give up that happiness for him.
So why tell me like that? What did she expect?
She expected you to fight.
For what? Something that might be a possibility one day? She knows what she wants, right?
She expected you to show in your reaction that she was doing the wrong thing.
I had to let her know it was okay to move on.
She didn't want your blessing, O'Neill, she wanted confirmation that her feelings could be returned if she didn't say "Yes" to another man!
It wasn't about what I wanted. Was it?
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything...
You're an idiot, Jack, a complete idiot!
Fin.