A/N: A huge thanks to Krissy for being my fantastic alpha. This little beauty appeared in my mind and demanded to be written. I hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: JKR owns the world of Harry Potter, not me. I am not making any money from the posting of this story.
We all carry these things inside that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors; they drown us out to sea.
He's gone.
The words echoed in Percy's mind but he couldn't understand them. He didn't want to understand them. It hurt too much to think about those words.
But ignoring them wouldn't make them go away. Ignoring the truth didn't make it any less real. He could run and hide, escaping the words, but it wouldn't matter. None of it would ever matter.
Because George was dead and he was alive.
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair that he was at the one year anniversary celebration while his brother was buried deep underground. It wasn't fair that he lived while his brother died. It wasn't fair that everyone else was healing. None of it was fair.
Percy knew he was living half a life. It had been so long since he had felt anything. It was like he was living on autopilot. He was only going through the motions.
It made Percy sick. Everything made him so sick all the time. Watching Ron and Hermione dancing across the room, seeing his father chatting with Kingsley… It was all so normal. And that disgusted him.
How could they all act like nothing was wrong? Didn't any of them hurt like he did? Did any of them carry the guilt he did?
"I don't care for parties either," a voice said next to him.
Startled, Percy turned. He saw a young girl standing next to him. She had blonde hair and pretty brown eyes, but what caught his attention was a large scar running horizontally across her face. It was eerily reminiscent of Remus's scar.
"Lavender Brown, right?" he asked when he recognized her. She was in Ron's class at Hogwarts.
She smiled at him. "Yup, that's me."
Percy turned back to the room. "It just seems so forced."
"I know," she said softly. "I hate going out in public, I mean, look at me." She sighed. "My Mum made me though. She said it was time I got over myself."
He turned back to her. "You're a beautiful girl; I don't know why you're being negative."
She scoffed. "You are looking at me, right? You do see this large, nasty scar on my face, don't you?" She pointed at it, as if to make it more obvious. "I'm ugly."
"Now you're just another girl fishing for compliments," Percy retorted.
"No, I'm not!" Lavender retorted. "I'm just saying my scar isn't my most attractive feature."
"Everyone has scars," Percy replied softly. "Some are visible, others are not. Some are physical, while others are emotional or mental."
Her gaze softened. She reached out, her hand lightly resting on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Percy."
"It's not fair," Percy said softly, casting his gaze to the floor. "It's not fair that he died while I lived."
Lavender frowned. Reaching over, she boldly took his hand. "Why don't we take this elsewhere?"
Percy stared at their joined hands for a moment before returning his gaze to her. The look in her eyes was so sad and dejected — just like his. He knew no one would notice if he left the celebration early. No one ever noticed him anyways.
"Sure," he said. "We can go to my flat."
"Okay," Lavender said. "Ready when you are."
He Apparated them both away.
The two of them sat on the couch, each with a glass of wine in their hands.
"I feel so stupid sometimes," Lavender explained. "I know people tell me it's just my looks and that I shouldn't be too vain, but I can't help it." She sighed. "It's so much more than that, you know? Every time I look in the mirror, I'm reminded of him. People point and stare when they see me in public and it hurts."
Percy frowned. "I'm sorry, Lavender."
"And it's not even just the looks," she continued. "I don't change with the moon, but something inside me changes. I still have a wolf and it's so much worse because it can't escape." She placed her wine glass on the table and wrapped her arms around her body. "It feels like I'm going crazy sometimes."
Percy knew what she was talking about. Bill had explained the same thing to him once. Being part wolf but not being allowed to change was pure torture. The full moon was agonizing to them.
"You're not going crazy," Percy said. "Bill said the same thing to me once."
Lavender gave him a small smile. "It just sucks, you know?"
Percy looked down. "I meant what I said earlier, Lavender. I do think you're a beautiful girl."
She tilted her head to the side and observed him. "And I don't think you should blame yourself for your brother's death. It wasn't your fault at all."
"But if we weren't joking, then maybe he'd still be alive."
She shook her head. "Percy, listen to yourself. Fred was always a joker. Even in the midst of a battle, he was still making everyone else laugh. He was laughing himself, you know?"
"But I feel responsible."
"You shouldn't," Lavender said firmly. "You need to let go and move on with your life. I don't think your brother would appreciate it very much if he saw you right now. You've got a chance at life, a second chance with your family, and you're wasting it. You need to stop."
Percy looked at her, startled by the emotion in her voice. Her eyes flashed golden momentarily, startling him. His looked down, his gaze landing on her lips. So small, so plump. He wondered what they'd taste like.
Moments later, the two of them were kissing passionately. Hands wandered over each other's bodies as they quickly pulled at clothing. Percy wasn't quite sure who made the first move and neither did Lavender, but neither of them cared. They both needed this. They both wanted this.
Once naked, Lavender's hand reached down and gently stroked his member. He was soon erect beneath her touch, eagerly wanting more. Tenderly, he cupped her cheek, guiding her lips towards his for a kiss. His other hand skimmed her body, reveling in the smoothness of her skin.
Lavender adjusted herself, swinging her leg over his so she was now straddling him. Taking his member into hand, she gently lowered herself onto him. Her nails dug into his shoulder as she braced herself.
"Oh, hell," Percy cursed when he felt her hot wetness surround him.
She flipped her hair back, wriggling her body. She gripped his shoulders tightly as she peered into his blue eyes. "I need it rough, is that all right?"
Percy nodded. He groaned as Lavender began to move. She felt like perfection.
Digging her nails into his shoulders, Lavender moved quickly. Leaning forward, she pressed her breasts into Percy's face. She gasped when his mouth quickly covered her nipple.
"Oh fuck," Percy cursed, knowing his was reaching his completion. "I'm not going to last."
Lavender let out a small cry as she reached her orgasm. Percy grunted at the feel of her walls, spilling his seed deep into her. She claimed him in a bruising kiss, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. She kissed him long and hard, pouring all her emotions into it. All her hatred and self-loathing, she gave it all to him.
Eventually, the two of them broke apart for air. Chest heaving, Lavender got off of Percy. She gave him a warm smile. "Well, that was nice."
"Cathartic, you mean," Percy retorted.
Lavender let out a laugh. "Quite right, Percy." She looked around and located her clothes.
Percy watched as she got dressed. "Are you leaving?" he inquired.
"Yeah, my Mum is at the celebration still. I'm going to spend the rest of the night with her." She noticed the look of sadness appear on his face. She paused in her moments and looked at him. "We can do this whole cathartic thing again if you'd like."
He nodded, standing. "I think I would like that, Lavender."
She smiled. Summoning a piece of paper, she quickly wrote down her address. "Write me some time," she said, handing it to him.
"I will," Percy promised.
Lavender smiled. "You're so sweet, Percy. Try and stay a little optimistic, all right?"
"As long as you do too," he retorted.
Lavender gave him a quick kiss before Apparating away.
Percy sat down, a sigh escaping his lips. All the pain and hurt was still inside of him, but being around Lavender made him feel a little bit better. Maybe, someday, he'd be all right completely.
Maybe Lavender would be the one to get rid of the anchor in his heart.