Cell's Lawsuit
"All rise."
Everyone in the courtroom got to their feet. The room was packed full of people; it was a high profile case. There were many cameras clicking, flashes going off, and boom mikes hung over the crowd.
Of course, no-one dared go within ten feet of the plantiff.
Judge Judy walked in, robes flowing, and sat down. The large crowd of people sat down. One photographer, hoping to get better pictures, sat up the front.
"Case five-four-five-nine-four. This is the case of Mr Cell Gero v Mr Martin Cooper." The clerk handed Judge Judy the papers.
Judge Judy flipped through the papers, looked at the large, bug-like man sitting in the plaintiff's seat, then at the scared, overweight man that was the defendant.
"First, let's just sort out what this is all about." Judy began. "Mr Gero, you say that the defendant, Mr Cooper, infringed your rights by naming his invention after you. Could you please explain?"
"Yes, your honour. His invention, of course, is the cell phone." Cell explained. "The use of my name for this device has caused me a lot of pain. It has interfered with my ability to perform my best at my work."
"And your job is?" Judy inquired.
"I'm an evil super-villain."
"I see. And you, Mr Cooper, what do you say about this?"
"This is ridiculous! I did not name my invention after this- this monster!" Mr Cooper raged. "I chose the name 'cell' because it means small, and enclosed. My device is a small, self contained phone."
Judy looked over to Mr Gero.
"Your honour, I'm sure the court is aware that I am, in fact, a biological android. I was, therefore, invented."
"Yes...."
"I will prove I was invented first."
A gasp ran through the crowd.
"I would like to present my first witness. My inventor, Dr Gero."
A murmur filled the room. The photographer behind Cell began taking pictures.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Gero dead?" Cooper spoke up.
"Yes, but he'll be here in a few seconds." Cell said.
The whisperings from the crowd got louder. Judy rapped her gavel and ordered silence.
"Your witness doesn't have to be alive to testify but he does have to be here. Do you have other evidence of your age, Mr Gero?"
"Yes, ma'am, birthday cards, party photos-"
"They can be faked." Cooper piped.
" -And an entry in the World Science magazine detailing my creation, including some specs. The article is written by Dr Gero himself. It is dated thirty-five years ago."
"Absurd." Cooper breathed while the clerk transported the evidence to Judge Judy.
"Surely, you would have seen this article?" Judy asked. "After all, at this point in time, you were a head researcher at Motorola."
"Your honour, I believe this is all just a mistake." Cooper replied.
"Mistake? MISTAKE?!?" Cell turned. "You're the mistake! Do you have any idea what it's like, going from place to place, trying to do your job taking over the world, and everyone laughs because they think you were named after a phone? My god man, your little mistake is ruining my life, AND DEATH! Even SLUG laughs at me!"
The audience cracked up laughing.
"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!?" Cell cried out to the gallery. "STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING!" He dropped to his knees. "Stop looking at me!"
Judge Judy rapped her gavel again, looking with pity at the bio-android with his hands over his ears.
The crowd calmed down. Cell sat back in his seat, still sobbing.
"Mr Gero, it's very obvious that this misunderstanding has caused you a lot of psychological damage and is keeping you from leading a full life. Therefore, I order Mr Martin Cooper to pay full damages to Mr Cell Gero."
Cooper slumped into his seat. Cell managed a weak smile, and sighed a big sigh of relief. Cameras flashed, and the two men walked out of the courtroom with a mass of journalists following them.
The next plantiff and defendant walked in.
The clerk handed the papers to Judge Judy. "Case five-four-five-nive-five, The All-You-Can-Eat Happy Buffet v Mr Goku Son."
Judy turned to Goku.
"Not you again."
"All rise."
Everyone in the courtroom got to their feet. The room was packed full of people; it was a high profile case. There were many cameras clicking, flashes going off, and boom mikes hung over the crowd.
Of course, no-one dared go within ten feet of the plantiff.
Judge Judy walked in, robes flowing, and sat down. The large crowd of people sat down. One photographer, hoping to get better pictures, sat up the front.
"Case five-four-five-nine-four. This is the case of Mr Cell Gero v Mr Martin Cooper." The clerk handed Judge Judy the papers.
Judge Judy flipped through the papers, looked at the large, bug-like man sitting in the plaintiff's seat, then at the scared, overweight man that was the defendant.
"First, let's just sort out what this is all about." Judy began. "Mr Gero, you say that the defendant, Mr Cooper, infringed your rights by naming his invention after you. Could you please explain?"
"Yes, your honour. His invention, of course, is the cell phone." Cell explained. "The use of my name for this device has caused me a lot of pain. It has interfered with my ability to perform my best at my work."
"And your job is?" Judy inquired.
"I'm an evil super-villain."
"I see. And you, Mr Cooper, what do you say about this?"
"This is ridiculous! I did not name my invention after this- this monster!" Mr Cooper raged. "I chose the name 'cell' because it means small, and enclosed. My device is a small, self contained phone."
Judy looked over to Mr Gero.
"Your honour, I'm sure the court is aware that I am, in fact, a biological android. I was, therefore, invented."
"Yes...."
"I will prove I was invented first."
A gasp ran through the crowd.
"I would like to present my first witness. My inventor, Dr Gero."
A murmur filled the room. The photographer behind Cell began taking pictures.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Gero dead?" Cooper spoke up.
"Yes, but he'll be here in a few seconds." Cell said.
The whisperings from the crowd got louder. Judy rapped her gavel and ordered silence.
"Your witness doesn't have to be alive to testify but he does have to be here. Do you have other evidence of your age, Mr Gero?"
"Yes, ma'am, birthday cards, party photos-"
"They can be faked." Cooper piped.
" -And an entry in the World Science magazine detailing my creation, including some specs. The article is written by Dr Gero himself. It is dated thirty-five years ago."
"Absurd." Cooper breathed while the clerk transported the evidence to Judge Judy.
"Surely, you would have seen this article?" Judy asked. "After all, at this point in time, you were a head researcher at Motorola."
"Your honour, I believe this is all just a mistake." Cooper replied.
"Mistake? MISTAKE?!?" Cell turned. "You're the mistake! Do you have any idea what it's like, going from place to place, trying to do your job taking over the world, and everyone laughs because they think you were named after a phone? My god man, your little mistake is ruining my life, AND DEATH! Even SLUG laughs at me!"
The audience cracked up laughing.
"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!?" Cell cried out to the gallery. "STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING!" He dropped to his knees. "Stop looking at me!"
Judge Judy rapped her gavel again, looking with pity at the bio-android with his hands over his ears.
The crowd calmed down. Cell sat back in his seat, still sobbing.
"Mr Gero, it's very obvious that this misunderstanding has caused you a lot of psychological damage and is keeping you from leading a full life. Therefore, I order Mr Martin Cooper to pay full damages to Mr Cell Gero."
Cooper slumped into his seat. Cell managed a weak smile, and sighed a big sigh of relief. Cameras flashed, and the two men walked out of the courtroom with a mass of journalists following them.
The next plantiff and defendant walked in.
The clerk handed the papers to Judge Judy. "Case five-four-five-nive-five, The All-You-Can-Eat Happy Buffet v Mr Goku Son."
Judy turned to Goku.
"Not you again."