I wonder if this is alright… I will update, just not in this week I believe. Though I guess it's getting closer to when I should update.

:D You know I don't own it, but I can dream…

There's you

prologue?

I don't think you get when I say I need you in my life; it's not worry, or if this is a dream; but to see how real you are. When you can speak, it silences the world– and when you look at me, your smoldering gaze can stop my heart– and your touch can make my body warm and tingling on contact.

You feel the same way when we embrace, during the long hours, the short timing before school and previous reminiscences. Shivering arms, tense body; pulling me to your side when your fanatic trio try to bully me, I want to know more… I need more.

'Why' I keep on questioning. I am desperate for answers, but God won't give them.

You are the keeper of my heart, don't waste what I feel; I know that the world is full of pride and prejudice, and that society is changing, but I don't care. My throat is strangled, my tongue is tied with your name but won't be spoken.

Know that I only see you, I only think of you, every cherish moment together is a memory for a life-time. I want to cry, why is this feeling so powerful; why does it pull me to my knees and makes me beg to the stars of night for wanting you to be with me. Praying that one day, you'll act on these feelings that haunt me also.

Make me know that your heart is mine, hold me tight in your arms during the days when I feel lonely. Or when I feel sad; when I want to know you better, we can chat about our days, about ourselves, even through nights.

Your name can choke my throat when I dream, as I imagined to lay by your side and sleep in peaceful minutes, silence that reigns with comfort. Not when we converse about me.

Not when I know that you hurt all the same as we are forever reminded that we are both girls, that whatever this feeling that pulls the tension tighter, won't release our hearts.

We are not interested in others, despite the playings of leading Oogami-san on, or that you accepted once a letter of love. Here, in my bed, as diaphanous curtains pull moonlight beams to shine on me, always taunting me that you aren't in this bed.

Maybe I have me answer of 'why'… no male can ever touch me, make me burn in want; no one but you can whet my appetite.

That your very presence sends me spiraling, intoxicated– oh Chikane, why aren't you by my side yet? Can we be together before I am old and bitter?

Before that happens…

I can imagine us, together; happy in life. When the future holds a promise, then we can hold hands, hug, I can show you my affection... pepper your lips with gentle kisses, drawn out and long.

But then there is my desire– of touching you in intimate places, languidly needing you to fulfill me. But what am I thinking?

The world isn't that generous, my dear, especially when fate decides to play…

She shivers when lips kiss her neck, arms trapping her in an embrace that she hope will last for an eternity, but it is too short of time as Chikane pulls back; eyes dark and piercing, mouth pursed and expression showing her joy.

Himeko's hands are urged to take hold of that white iron-pressed blouse and pull her body back, fitting them together like a lost puzzle piece. But a gentle hand stops her, the contact of cool skin meeting the underside of her wrists makes her body tremble; mouth opens to speak, only to be silenced by one finger.

The Himemiya's head lowers, eyes hooded, the oceanic shades were more brighter. "We should… not, Himeko. Not tonight, not now, when we could be making a mistake."

Himeko nods, knowing that the minute they were in bed; it would not be sleep, or talking that would consume their time. But she couldn't help the disappointment and sadness that washed over her; was she… bored?

Fingers that were laying on her wrist, trailed over her left arm, making a wake of goosebumps to rise; the heat of her body to rocket and hold her mind in a dizzying sensation. That odd lump was forming in her throat, the fresh burn behind her eyes was more known, Himeko shook her head.

"But…" Her throat was choked. "What if… I don't want to let you… go…ever?" It was foolish to attempt making Chikane see her view.

They could be together, whether or not it was known publicly, but Himeko knew they were making a mistake by not living life. Burdening themselves with regret when they could be together, happy. Regretting. It made her slouch, her hope to dim. Why couldn't Chikane see what she saw?

"What if… I want you by my side, forever 'til now? This isn't a mistake, Chikane," amethyst eyes are beseeching, her hands were clammy as she led the more slender hand to lay atop her chest, over her left breast, where her heart was pounding.

For her life, for Chikane.

"Tell me you don't love me, that you don't need me in your life; and I'll leave." The pale hand she held was tense, and trembling, those deep eyes were screaming her warmth, her care; that sharp mind was tumultuous and clouded with concern and – love.

She leans closer, pushing that invisible rule; lips parted and issuing soft sighs, of wistful dreams and old knowledge. "Please tell me … Chikane."

The slim figure of Himemiya Chikane is more tremulous, words of incoherency spill from full lips. And Himeko knows, that they both in the same boat of pain and longing.

Arms wrap around her, Himeko eagerly leans in, hands on her chest, tip-toeing, and capturing soft lips in a concrete connection of content pleasure.

Even when they stood in the hall way, captured in darkness, Himeko knew that the clichéd 'they will face whatever problems that the world will throw at them in time' and some 'happily ever after'; reality wasn't like that to all.

But she was happy enough to forget about the future and remain in the present, where she was still engaged in a kiss. Seeking comfort that she was real, that this is real. A tongue licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance, where it was granted as it escaped from the cold air into a heated cavern.

Chikane pressed more urgently, surprised- almost embarrassed that she felt such need. Himeko moaned, arching inwardly, placing pressure on her most intimate area with the Himemiya's thigh, her hands messaging tense back muscles and feeling silky skin, and splaying her hands out.

Panic overwhelmed desire, Chikane pulled back– as she did so, Himeko following, connecting their lips once again as a display of affection and want. Himeko's scent was heady, intoxicating, it made her feel high and drunk all at the same time.

Her hands cupped a breast, feeling bold as she groped lightly, and allowed her tongue to taste the candy-sweet residue, then tracing swollen lips from her bruising passion. Her lungs burned for air, in her mind she cursed the need of oxygen to live. Parting once again, Chikane allowed herself to hold the panting Himeko, burying her face close to the hollow of her neck.

"We– will go to bed now."

Himeko hummed lazily as agreement. "Carry me, my prince?" Her eyes shined with pleading, her innocence made Chikane nod readily as she scooped Himeko's body from the ground and took leisure steps to the– their– bedroom.

Sorry for mistakes.

Be content reading or reviewing! I will possibly– most likely– continue on with this. :)

Er, I think it might be confusing. But I know it will also clear up. I like confusion rather than predictability. ;)

Important note: (update at 12/08/11) I wrote this story with a sad mind; so in my mind, it takes place where society doesn't deal with their sexual orientation. I will continue this, but uhh, the dialogue and use of words will be more, er- different since it's been over a year since I've started this. _ Enjoy anyways.