az: Oh well, my bad habit. Usually when I found a manga that I liked and could be related to myself, I tend to get the urge to write a fic to it. Oh dear.... here we go again...
az: I just want to type a sadistic fic for once... This is a bet, if I could pull this off... then I know I could use this style of writing... -
A/N: Hmm... this should be fitted between Butterfly Bone and Bloodberry Jam, eh? I hoped so... ;p Am I improving on my writing? I hoped so...
Disclaimer: I don't own Count Cain or Earl Cain (whatever the translations be) but I do own that one copy of God Child part one and the rest I owed to my sis and Sakura-Crisis's scanlations and other translations. Characters and original excerpt from the fic are copyrights of Kaori Yuki and Crisis as for the translation. Excerpts from the Lord of the Rings are solely copyrighted to the late JRR Tolkien. No infringements are intended during this production and man, I do owe ppl for their language!!
The Missing Love
Written by Azzie Alienna Azuani Yami Azzie
'It seemed almost like a dream that has slowly faded..'
'Not to me... To me it feels like falling asleep again...'
Merry to Frodo in Return of the King
--
'...Cain, don't look!!'
'It's all right, Cain... there, forget about it...'
--
'REMEMBER THIS!! YOU WILL NEVER FIND LOVE IN YOUR LIFE!! YOU WILL DIE ALL ALONE... don't forget...'
'...Cain was the name of the first person who killed his relative...'
--
The young count sighed as he walked alone on the streets of London, remembering the words that had once spoken to him by someone that he thought had loved him as a child even though it was a really big lie. The teenager stared at the slow rushing of the Thames as he walked along the London Bridge.
It's been almost five and a half years since that incident. Yet, even when I had vowed to be free of his influence... it seemed that I couldn't. This hunger... even when there are people who will always willing to give their love to me without any interest such as Uncle Neil, Riff and Merry, the crave and yearnings for the tender embrace of one's own sire cannot be forsaken. Alas for me, I would never again feel the warmth of my mother, long deceased. Yet of my father... the very bane of it, seemed horrendous to my imaginations....!
Sounds of footsteps walking towards him immediately pulled him back from his musings, if not also for the edgy feeling that he was being watched. Cain turned around abruptly towards the source as a figure loomed to view. Yet as the foggy evening worked its magic of seclusion around him, he regretted the action as his heart started to beat faster and his body trembling. Half his mind was shouting to make him flee from the scene while the other half, stubbornly refused. The figure drew closer to him as a thin line of a smile lined his face in mock satisfaction.
A hand worked his way towards Cain's cheeks as the fingers caressed it gently. Cain's eyes opened wide with fear as his golden-tinged emerald orbs stay fixed upon the face of the newcomer...
'Are you... scared? So, why didn't you flee before me? Or did you miss the whip so much that you stayed your feet? My little crybaby...', said the man as by some strange power, Cain walked slowly towards him despite the intensity of his own fears. 'Fa... father!!?', Cain gasped as he tried to hold his father's hand as to embrace the man.
The cardmaster of the Delilah organization immediately frowned at this as he violently pushed the teenager away. Cain stumbled on the rough asphalt as he struggled to get up again.
'Why...?! Have you ever felt anything for me? All these years... has it ever a time that you loved me as your own child...?!', cried Cain as his voice shook, body weakened by both anguish and fear. His features twisted as if about to cry but no tears came. Alexis smiled menacingly as he cupped the lad's chin towards him.
'No... never in my whole lifetime that I loved you...', came the evil reply as Cain felt again the pain of the broken heart of the child in him. '...then why did you liked to torment and hurt people? And keep them away from happiness...'
'Who told you that...?', hissed the man as he grabbed Cain's arm towards him. The young count winced in pain as the strong grip felt almost to crushing his bones. 'Mother...', he gasped painfully.
Alexis other hand snaked towards Cain's back and dug his claws to the skin while the boy cried in pain. 'Hngh.. that wretched woman...!!', hissed the man again as the pain become steadily unbearable on Cain's behalf for the claws started to draw blood.
Cain fought against the pain as he tried to form the words. 'No... Aunt Augusta, my real mother. She said this before her death... is it really true? Haven't you loved anyone sincerely in your life? Father...', he whispered as Alexis grinned in satisfaction. 'After all that happened, you still regard me as your father? And even had a nerve to question my action?!!', he exclaimed as he dragged the poor teenager towards a dark alley. Cain gasped as he was thrown towards the alley and received another punishment as he felt the skin on his back torn open by his father's whip. Cain winced as he gritted his teeth to prevent the scream from coming out of his mouth.
'Not enough?!', asked the older man as the boy stared defiantly at him. Alexis whipped him again as the boy staggered on the ground. 'I had always thought... argh!!', Cain gasped as he received another lash on his back. '...that you had at the least, considered me as your son. That made it worthwhile... because of it, I vainly ignored the fact that you really hated and constantly trying to kill me...', he spoke again as he clutched on Alexis's feet. 'Only when mom died, I finally accepted it...', he said as he looked up towards his father.
'If you really hate me that much for trying to defy you and poison you, why didn't you take it out on me?!! Why did you have to take other people's lives?!!' Alexis kicked the lad away as he crouched over his son. He pulled his hair up as he hissed over the lads face. 'I have to... It's no fun if I didn't torment you. And you're such a crybaby that it's a pity to not make you cry...'
Cain gave a look of disbelief at his father as more blood was lost from his body. He collapsed on his father's arm as Alexis caressed his face. 'Because of the manner of your birth, it is quite difficult to see whom you resembled most, is it?', said Alexis to the unconscious boy as he lifted the child up to his lap.
'You bear my looks as well as that of your mother at the same time... isn't it good enough for you that I loved and HATE you all the same...? My little child...'
--
'Cain-sama... where are you?!', muttered the anxious butler as he paced to and fro at the living room. Merry glanced at Riff as the man kept mumbling things under his breath about her brother. 'Oh, Riff... don't fret!! Brother was probably having some extra fun plying with some of those ladies again... what a nerve!! And so late too... If you keep this up, I know he'll laugh at you when he returned... that stupid brother of mine...', said Merryweather as Riff looked at her with worry.
'But Miss Merry...!! You know how Master Cain tend to get into trouble so often... And I had this bad feeling, Miss Merry... please wait here while I go out to search...', said the butler as he rushed out of the door. Merry stood dumbfounded as she watched him go but as he suddenly gave a gasp of astonishment, she immediately follow suit.
Not far from the manor where the gates leading into the manor, there was a shadow of a man carrying another as he placed the burden against the wall. Riff and Merry ran towards the shadows to find that the one on the ground was indeed Cain himself. Riff instantly pulled Merry to hide behind him as he looked up towards the visitor.
Alexis Hargreaves gave a smirk at them as he motioned towards the unconscious son. 'What did you do all these years? He weighs the same as when he's still a child under my supervision. I thought he might grow even more under your care without all the poison that I gave him...', he said, amused as he started to walk away. Riff called out to him as he kept Merry safe behind him.
'What did you do... to Master Cain?!', gasped the butler as he scowled towards the former master of his. The elderly man smiled. 'I just want to sent my love to my beloved child... can't I, little Merryweather...?', jeered the man as he bent towards Merry. Merry hid her face behind Riff's back as she dared not to look upon the evil man's face. Alexis straightened himself up as he laughed heartily. 'Please take care of that stupid child of mine, Riff... It's all you could ever done for him...', he said as he walked away.
The twosome darted towards the unconscious count as Riff fussed over him. Tears started to form in Merry's eyes as the butler lifted her brother while leading her back towards the manor. Riff glanced down towards the little girl.
'Don't worry, Cain-sama would be alright... I promised you...'
Merry chuckled between sobs as she mused over her stupidity. 'Yeah, I know... but big brother looked so frail and...' She continued crying as they entered the house.
'It's going to be alright.., Miss Merryweather...'
--
'Does this hurt...?'
Aa...
'Cain-sama...!!'
'Then bear it for a while, okay...?'
'Cain-sama... wake up!!'
Cain inadvertantly opened his eyes to find that he was back in his own bedroom and Riff was sitting nearby. He winced as he tried to sit while Riff gave a hand to help him up. 'Did he hurt you again...?', asked Riff though he already saw the new mark on the young count's back. Cain stared at Riff in a dejected way as he looked back towards his hands, speechless. Not wanting to say anything about the recent abuse that he let his own father relinquished on him.
Riff looked at him worried as he caressed the young lad's hair, affectionately. 'Why did you let him do it on you again? Are you still going to believe that he still loves you?!! Even if the blood had dried and the wound is tended, I knew that this was recently made. Not the old scars you bore since you were little!!'
Cain gasped suddenly as he tried to run his hand over his wound. '...it wasn't a dream!! He did tended to my wounds...'
'Cain-sama!!', gasped Riff again as the lad leant over the butler. The lad cried tearlessly as Riff patted his back. 'I'm sorry...!! But I still wanted to believe... he always whipped me very hard but when he tended to them, it was always so gentle...', said the young count as he glanced at Riff. '...Riff!! That... should have count for something isn't it?!! He truly hates me... that must have mean that he must have loved me at some point, isn't it? If one had not loved... there's no way one could hate, could he?'
Riff smiled weakly at the youth as he embraced him gently. 'Forget it... just forget it. Other than Sir Alexis, you have Miss Merry, Sir Neil and me to care for you. So please rest now, young master...', he coaxed as he started to take off the young count's shirt. Cain sniffed as a sound of the door being opened was heard. Riff immediately put back the shirt on his master's back as Merry peeked in through the door.
'Can I... come in, Riff? Big brother...?', said the little girl as Cain motioned her in. Merry slowly walked into the room and hopped unto the bed to Cain's side as she gave her big brother a kiss on the cheek. 'Now, feel any better?', chirped the girl as Cain hugged his half-sister gratefully. 'Yes... thank you. Sorry that I made you worry...'
Merry shook her head. 'It's not your fault... I'm just glad that big brother is safe!! Riff was really worried... I thought if he hadn't gone out to find you earlier, he might have made me crazy as well as everyone!!', cried Merry as he laughed heartily. He stole a glance towards Riff before burying his face on his sister's shoulders. 'I love you... I really love you, Merry...', he whispered softly as Merry felt a drop of tear fall on her neck. Merry caressed her brother's head as she felt the lad steady breathing that indicated that he had fallen asleep. Riff helped her lift him up as the little girl kissed her brother goodnight.
'I'll get to bed now... You too, Riff!!', chirped the girl as she skipped out of the room. Riff smiled at her as he started removing Cain's clothes and tucked him snuggly on the bed. He gave a peck on his master's forehead as he brushed off some of the stray strands of hair from his face. 'If only you had asked... I've always loved you as father, guardian, brother and everything!! I'll protect you... my young master...', he whispered as he walked away, turning off the lights and closing the door behind him...
'I'll protect you...'
'...Always.'
--
--
--- And that's all? ---
az:..heck, This would be my first and final Cain fic, I guess... (unless someone liked this and want me to continue writing... e) Well, I'll go back to my Yami no Matsuei ficlet then. Jaa!!! Hope you liked this... so please review...