Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater

The warmth of the noonday sun shone brightly down on Death City—nothing but a mechanized construction with a giant, evil smile—most newcomers who'd enter Death City would be spooked by the mere presence of the colossal orb.
Ian Roguesaw–our main protagonist of this story–was not one of them. Instead, he just marveled at the infrastructure that must have been involved in its creation, looking wide-eyed at everything else around him as he made his way to the entrance of Death Weapon Meister Academy, or DWMA for those not wanting to bother with the mouthful. Ian was a young teen, most adults that met him would call him a "saint", but in actuality he was just a pacifist with a love of religious ethics. Ian was a smart, dark-skinned boy who had his black hair in pigtails. One of his most adorable trait was his hazel eyes, which were presently sparkling with barely-contained wonder at everything around him. Resting comfortably on his shoulders was a brown satchel.

"Ooh! There it is," Ian said aloud as he saw what looked to be the Death Weapon Meister Academy he searched for.
Ian walked up the stairs to the Academy and made his way towards the entrance, head swiveling this way and that in amazement at the enormous building. There was so much to take in that the boy ended up pausing halfway to the door to see it all. At the entrance, he saw two shady figures wearing Shinigami masks on their heads that concealed their features. The two made a very intimidating display as they were both carrying giant weapons; a sword for the one on the left and an axe for the one on the right. Freezing up, Ian opened his mouth.

Then closed it.

Then opened it again.

...this went on for a while.

The two brutish guards glanced at one another confusedly as Ian continued doing an impression of a fish as he tried to muster the courage to ask them to open the doors.

"...what's wrong with this one?" His partner just shrugged.

"I dunno. They usually just ask us to open up by now." The two went back to staring at the boy blankly.

"..."

"...Maybe he's a Kishin?" the one with the axe offered dully. His partner shrugged.

"Maybe."

"Mm."

"Never seen a Kishin before," the brute with the sword mused. "But he seems a bit scrawny to be one, don't 'ya think?"

"Probably. I ain't seen one, either–mostly just what the kids talk about." The brute with the axe fingered his huge weapon idly. "Hey, aren't we weaker than, like, everyone we're supposed to be guarding?"

The other grunted dismissively. "Hey, I don't get paid to ask questions. I just stand outside with a big knife and look scary."

"Ain't that the truth." They both laughed.

"Amen to that." Ian perked up at that. Yes! He knew how to deal with this kind of situation! 'Alright!' the boy thought to himself. 'Just think of it as another door-to-door run!'

Ian smiled at the two and held out a black bible that he'd pulled from his bag.
" Salutations, fellow believers. My name is Ian, and I want to be a reverend in a church when I grow up. Now I'm here to tell you about our lord, our sire, and our leader Jesus—"

SLASH!

"…Christ." One of the shady figures guarding the entrance had taken out a long sword and sliced Ian's bible in half. The only thing left was paper that flew everywhere out of the leather of the binding. " Um, sir, that wasn't free."

"Ugh. Preachers," the other guard grunted. "Never could stand 'em."

"Silence, you Kishin!" The shady figure with the sword exclaimed as he pointed it directly at Ian's chest.

"Butch, I smell something fishy about this kid," the other shady figure said.

"Maybe you're right, Camo. Maybe he's... a traitor trying to attack our academy!"

"If that's the case…" Camo raised his axe over his head as he jeered for Ian. " Let's kill him!"

Ian was a pacifist; he couldn't bring himself to fight, (and besides, he didn't have anything to fight these two with) so he ducked down and cowered as both shady figures raised their weapons to end him. However, before they could bring them down two gunshots rang out in quick succession, sparks of pink light striking the guard's armaments and sending them spinning away. As they clattered to the ground, both the guards and Ian turned their attention to where the shots had originated.

"Quit your bickering and stand down, you pseudo-symmetrical scum!" a high, simpering exclamation came from behind the guards.

Ian raised his head above the ground and saw the person who saved his life. Two things he noticed immediately that spooked him about the kid were his cold yellow eyes and the .42 caliber pistols clutched upside-down in his hands. The newcomer was dressed sharply in black from his shoes to his finely-tailored black suit to even his hair–though it was marked with three white half-ring streaks.

Ian, mildly frightened at the appearance of the gun-totting boy pretended to smile and tried backing up away from the Academy, slowly turning to run. " Um, I just remembered, I have other things to—"

'BANG!'

Both guns flashed and spat bolts of pink light with a loud crack. The bullets narrowly missed Ian, instead marking the pavement with twin scorch marks placed perfectly equal distances from either of his feet. Lazy tongues of smoke seeped from the barrels.

"Stay where you are," the kid ordered coolly, his voice voice bearing the weight of authority. He lowering his weapons while he approached, shoes tapping against the stone in a precise metronome. "And for Death's sake, face forwards," he snapped with an edge of frustration. "If you're going to turn and run, at least have the decency to do a backflip to disguise which direction you turn. Otherwise it's just unsightly."

As the boy drew closer, Ian tried to bolt but his trembling legs refused to move. A pair of yellow eyes scrutinized him, scanning up and down until they gave a small glint of something and the kid stepped back, nodding in approval with a satisfied look. "Almost perfectly symmetrical. Good form; eight out of eight. Carry on, Freshman." Panicking, Ian started talking without thinking.

"B-but I'm not a Kishin or a traitor or w-whatever and-" he blubbered before breaking off suddenly and blinking in surprise. "W-wait what?" he stammered. Then he heard an echoing giggle that carried a metallic tang–as if it were being played out of a tinny speaker.

~"Ugh, give it a rest with the symmetry, Kid."~ The religious boy started and looked around for the speaker.

~"He's kind of dumb, isn't he?"~" Ian heard a second ominous voice speak somewhere he couldn't see.

It was then that both of the kid's guns glowed purple, jerking out of his hands and spinning backwards into the air. The pistols then morphed mid-flight into two girls who somersaulted behind him and landed on their feet.

One of the two had sandy blonde hair that reached her mid-back, dark blue eyes and slightly tanned skin. The other girl had chin-length bright blonde hair with bangs that contrasted sharply with her large, curious light blue eyes. Both girls wore a red, sleeveless turtleneck belly shirt and white tie, outfits completed by cowboy hats and black high-heeled boots. The one with dark blonde hair was the taller of the two, with long features and what looked like a permanently dismayed expression while the shorter was flashing Ian a sunny grin.

"Um, who are you guys?"

"Who are we?" The boy–about to turn and leave–suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. Whirling around, he called out, "Patty, Liz, formation!" and the trio sprang into action. The tall girl was on top, smaller girl in the center, and the boy was holding them on the bottom. Each had their arms outstretched in various dramatic poses.

"My name is Death the Kid. I am the Shinigami Meister of these two, the son of Lord Death, and I would like to personally welcome you to our academy." However, after finishing his introduction, Death the Kid hopped to the right as he frowned. "Patty! How many times do I have to remind you?"

"Oopsies," Patty replied sheepishly as she rubbed the back of her head. "Sorry." From the practiced ease with which they trailed off into petty banter and the enormous eye roll and humiliated flush of the elder girl–Liz–Ian was getting the impression that this was something of a regular occurrence..

"I can't fathom why this is even still an issue; you don't have any trouble during rehearsals at all!" 'Death the Kid' groaned, heaving an exasperated sigh and shooting a glower at the two. "I'd hoped that the two of you would have evened out with age, but I swear it's like there's no change at all!"

"It's been two years, fer cryin' out loud!" Liz protested, scowling at the shorter meister. "You can't expect us to change that quickly!" Seeing Kid frown and open his mouth to say something, she preemptively cuffed him over the head and added on, "And give it a rest about our bust sizes already!"

"Eheheh*snort*eheheh!" The light blonde girl snickered uncontrollably. "Don't worry, big sis! I'm sure you'll get big eventually!"

All this was unfortunately a bit much for Ian; the religious boy trying to force himself to think of other things while whacking himself over the head in self-admonishment.

Whack-whack-whack-whack.

"Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts," Liz stared, Kid was preoccupied with nursing the lump on his head, and Patty just laughed.

Liz–her anger at Kid having run its course–was actually feeling sorry for Ian. The trio's antics on top of almost dying seemed to have sent him into a minor mental breakdown. "Hey, Patty..."

"Huh? Oh! Okay."

Both Liz and Patty moved over to Ian, kneeled down, and pat him on his back.

"Hey, there's no need to hurt yourself, kid. There's nothing wrong with you. That was our bad."

"But I'm just a dirty sinner..."

"Nope. You look like chocolate," Patty laughed, patting Ian's back. "And chocolate tastes yummy."

"T-tha-thank you…"

"Ack! We're late!" Death the Kid burst out as he caught sight of the time, prompting Liz and Patty to jump to their feet as well. Turning to Ian, Kid apologized rapidly. "I'm sorry. I'd like to give you a tour around, but I have an errand too run and need both Liz and Patty to finish it. So, er... good luck finding your way around!" Death the Kid opened the door to the academy, hurriedly shooed Ian instead, then closed the door behind him. "Sorry about that! Bye!"

XXX

The inside of the Academy was cool and consisted of many long corridors with arched ceilings, large windows and lamps to light the passages and staircases after dark. The place was kept neat and free of litter, and though the halls were deserted, Ian could hear voices drifting from down each direction.

"Most classes must be in session," Ian muttered as he cast around the hall. " I wonder where I should go? I wonder if there's even anyone I can talk too."

"I'm telling you, Soul, you shouldn't be sleeping in class!" The sound of a girl shouting came down one of the corridors.

"Well maybe I wouldn't if the teacher didn't always hate me!" A boy snapped back.

Ian turned his head to the direction where the voices were coming from, quickly spotting a young couple approaching. Eyes lighting up, Ian called out to the squabbling duo.

"Ahem. Hey, you two!" Ian shouted, the two stopping to turn and look. Ian ran up to both of them excitedly and began to introduce himself. "Hi! My name is Ian Roguesaw. I was asked to meet the councilor, but I don't know where to go. " Ian looked at the boy named 'Soul', and smiled. " Excuse me, do you or your girlfriend know where the office is?" His query was met with an affronted protest from the girl and something that sounded like a strangled cough from the boy–who Ian noticed had slicked-back white hair and red eyes.

"Girlfriend? Pshh, as if," Soul scoffed cockily. "She's nowhere near cool enough to-." Whatever his companion was nowhere near cool enough to do would remain a mystery as a powerful blow sent his head crashing to the floor hard enough to produce visible cracks in the stone tile.

"Soul, YOU JACKASS!" The girl with taupe hair raged at her downed partner, pulling back the arm she'd used to beat him into the ground. Without missing a beat, she offered her white-gloved hand to a shell-shocked and petrified Ian "I'm sorry, but we're not...ah...together. Besides, what girl would date an idiot like him?" She gave a tittering little laugh that quickly died away when Ian failed to join in. The silence became awkward as the religious boy didn't shake her extended hand, eyes darting between the boy on the floor and the appendage that had put him there. "...Ah! You probably don't want to shake a hand covered in Soul-germs..." The mousy-looking girl exclaimed, looking sheepish as she pulled back her arm and extended the other. "Sorry about that!"

Ian didn't move. The girl shifted on her feet nervously as her arm slowly fell back down to her side. Olive eyes glanced down, then back at the boy as Maka began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. "Um..."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Maka," Soul groaned from his position on the ground. "The kid's scared stiff after seeing you go all psycho in front of him." A bright flush lit up Maka's face like a Christmas tree as she cocked her fist back in preparation to slug Soul for embarrassing her. The albino shrank back, throwing up his arms to shield his face. "Woah, woah! See what I mean?!" The schoolgirl blinked, spotted Ian's petrified expression, and dropped her fist, face practically steaming with shame.

"S-sorry about that," she hastily apologized. Ian nodded dumbly, still more than a little terrified, but between the incident at the door and now this he was quickly becoming desensitized to it.

"It's alright!" he squeaked a bit higher than he'd meant to. His reply was interrupted by a pained grumble.

Soul walked up behind the girl after pulling himself up off of the ground, rubbing his head tenderly. "Geez, Maka, why'd you have to be so rou—"

"Shut up!" This time, Maka made no effort at restraint and kicked Soul in the face, sending the poor boy flying. While he was gone, Maka smiled. "So you're looking for the councilor? You must mean Lord Death! If you'll follow me and my numbskull friend Soul, we'll lead you right to him."