A/N and Disclaimer
Hi guys so this one shot came from a writing challenge that I did with my best friend. We each took a quiz called "What would your Harry Potter life look like?" and based on our results we would each write a one shot/short story and publish it. My results were that I was a pure blood from the Hufflepuff House, my mentor was Professor Mcgonagall. My best friend was George weasley, and my soul mate was Voldemort. Not hard at all lol. Anyway so I worked and researched and this is what came of it. To be honest I have gotten so into this story that I have actually decided to make this one shot a story teaser. If there is enough interest in it then I will take this one shot and expand it into a full length story. If there isn't then I will put it on the back burner list to concentrate on my other ongoing stories. So if you like it please let me know! But no flames please.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters, I make nothing off of this unfortunately. This story is purely for entertainment purposes only.
Music to Listen to: Originally this One Shot had a different name. But I took inspiration from one of my favorite songs and after long deliberation I decided to rename it after said song. I am going to post the lyrics below the story kind of my ending credits music lol. But if you would like to listen to it. It is "If I Can't Love Her from Beauty and the Beast but particularly the Josh Groban version. Yes I know Terrence Mann is life and the original beast. But I believe Josh's version better fits this particular oneshot. So anyway this is the song that helped inspire this fic from my writing challenge. Hope you love it as much as I do.
If I Can't Love Her
A quiet moan fell from swollen pink lips before being lost on the cold draft that crept through the old stone walls of Hogwarts castle. Even though the air was chilled in the old tower where the healing magical arts class was taught the two naked bodies that lay upon the professor's desk concealed by the darkness did not feel the cold. All they felt was the heat of their passion as their bodies joined together in rapturous ecstasy. Their love making was steady yet ferocious as if they fought to devour one another unable to get enough of each other's bodies.
"Tom," she moaned against his lips begging for more as she straddled his lap and pressed her full bare breasts against his chest and bounced her hips as he thrust his full throbbing member up into her again and again.
Tom Riddle leaned up to take her lips again in a fiery kiss forcing her lips open allowing his tongue to creep into her moist cavern like a serpent. While she wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers up into his dark locks his own lithe slender fingers ran up her back in a gentle caress before burying themselves in the long bright sunshine and honey colored ringlets that fell down her back to her slender waist. Neither could hold on much longer as their bodies continued to join together in such a fervent pace taking them higher and higher into the throws of passion.
Suddenly two voices began to echo around the room quietly at first and then louder and louder as if they were about to walk in. The couple upon the desk didn't seem to notice. However the room around them seemed to suddenly become lost in a fog as the voices continued to rise in volume. Soon the shadows of the couple disappeared into nothingness.
"But why couldn't Quirrell touch me?" a young boy asked.
He was answered by an old and intelligent male voice.
"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love.
Serpentine eyes flickered open as the Dark Lord was once again disturbed from his slumber by the invading thoughts of the Potter boy and felt the pangs of rage surge through his lithe muscular body. He had not been long in his new body before he realized that he and Harry's minds were connected. He knew it was a possibility when he had taken some of Harry's blood to create his new self. Even though it was an annoyance that the boy constantly disrupted the sleep that he so desperately needed in order to refuel his new body and it was especially at times like this when in a rare moment of light in his world of darkness he was given a reprieve from the nightmares that constantly plagued him. The information that he had taken from the boy had been invaluable. Every day he learned more of the boys memories, his fears, his weaknesses. Voldemort yearned for the day he could get his hands on the boy and his mentor. He was determined to bring them both unimaginable suffering as they had each caused him in their own way.
He shook his head and sat up in the large ancient 4 poster bed. His movements caused a stirring next to him that caught his attention. He turned to see the form of Bellatrix Lestrange spread out on the bed next to him and sighed in disappointment. She was not what he expected or wanted. Especially after such a wonderful dream..such a beautiful memory...one of the few that he had. For years she had begged and pleaded for him to take her body, for the honor of being his lover. Then when he finally created a new body of his own after so many years as a shadow and she had returned after escaping Azkaban prison, he had given into his base primal urges. But it was not what he had expected or hoped for. Her body was cold...and old and disgusting. He did what he had to do to finish himself off. But sex with her held no pleasure for him, not really. But what did he expect? He still held the scars of old, and remembered the taste of something better. Voldemort stared down at the witch beside him, her features gnarled after so many years of dark magic and torture and time spent in Azkaban. Her teeth rotten in her mouth. The only thing he found remotely attractive about her was her hair.
After first joining him and eager to please she had brought him a young human woman to show him her dedication to obeying his every command. The woman had cried for mercy angering Bellatrix who had threatened to rip out her hair for her insolence. But he had stopped her after seeing the woman's long curls falling about her had made the comment that he only found women with curls to be beautiful and that such beauty should be left intact...even after death. The girl had died of course. He couldn't even remember her face. But after that Bellatrix had started wearing her hair in curls and had ever since. It was the only reason he was able to stomach touching her. She was a loyal servant, a brilliant warrior, and he admired her sadistic mind and loyalty. But he also knew that in her eyes he was her true love and that…disgusted him. He never missed the opportunity to remind her that he did not, and could not ever return her feelings. Which much to his dismay only made her try harder, and her useless husband was no help he only encouraged her. She hoped that by never giving up that one day she would grow on him and earn a place in the dark abyss that what was left of his heart. But it would never happen. Many (especially Dumbledore) believed that it was because he was not capable of love and disliked the idea of being emotionally attached to someone else.
"If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love"
The words of his enemy echoed in his head causing him to sneer and burst from his bed in anger. Wrapping his dark robes around himself he grabbed his wand and glided off barefooted through the halls of the Malfoys' mansion that had become his headquarters.. He was quickly followed by his devoted serpent Nagini who slithered along the cold floor beside him. He did not stop until he reached the study that had become his own personal safe haven. Anyone else besides himself and Nagini who attempted to cross the threshold of this particular room would be cursed to die a horrific death. No sound could be heard from within or without which made it a perfect place to protect himself and his secrets. He quickly closed the door behind himself and Nagini before he turned and blasted a vase off of a nearby table with a loud cry.
"What does that ruddy old bastard know of anything?" He hissed as he made his way over to the large floor to ceiling windows at the back of the vast mansion. "What does HE know of love?" He asked quietly.
Voldemort stared out over the dark gardens of the Malfoy estate. It had been so long since he had allowed the memories of the past overcome him. Normally he buried those memories and thoughts deep down in the darkness of his psyche because they made him feel a pain that he could not endure. But tonight that dream had brought them all back to him like a crashing wave with such force that he knew he had no choice but to ride them out until he could find the strength to lock them back down again. A small part of him did not want to let them go into the darkness again. That part of him continued to hold them tight never letting them go as if they were a lifeline because doing so would mean that he might forget….
Her…
The Dark Lord took a deep breath and laid his forehead against the cold glass of the window closing his eyes. What did any of them truly know about love? They were wrong, all of them. He did understand love. He knew what love was.. He understood love better than Dumbledore himself could understand having never truly experienced it. Love was the most terrifying force in the world. It was the most powerful magic in existence. It was wonderful and terrible. It caused all manner of beings wizard and muggle alike to fall into madness. It brought with it a pain worse than that of the cruciatus curse, and when it was lost..it left the being torn asunder to their very core.
They all believed that he was not capable of feeling love...and that was the root of his evil. But that simply wasn't true. Bellatrix believed that she could make him love her as she loved him in her own twisted way. But that wasn't possible because the truth was he had no heart to love..not anymore. The truth was there was only one person in the world that he had ever loved, or would ever love. There was only one woman whose skin he longed to touch. Who's lips he wanted to kiss, and whose smile he wanted to see. It was she and only she who held his heart..and she had taken it to her grave long ago along with any goodness that was within him.
Voldemort slowly opened his eyes to stare out the window again. As he did an image flashed before him causing him to see a pair of bright sparkling eyes surrounded by long dark lashes looking back at him through the glass..They had been the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen because they were unique. One eye was a rich emerald green and the other a deep ocean blue. He had never seen the like of them since and honestly if he had he probably would have carved them out of the face of their owner in anger because they had no right to have such eyes.
He remembered how he had despised those eyes at first. How they seemed to see right through his mask that he wore for everyone as a child into adulthood. She had always seemed to appear at the worse times. It was as if she could sense he was up to no good from the time he had arrived at the school.
"You know you're not allowed in this part of the library correct?" her young voice asked in an accusatory tone in his mind. "You're a first year aren't you...What are you doing here?"
Voldemort felt himself mouthing the words he had replied while hearing his own eleven year old voice.
"I'm sorry I was just exploring I must have gotten lost." he had said in his most charming voice.
"I don't see how, there is a large sign that says restricted section not to mention a rope to keep students out. You need special permission to be here and quite frankly every time I've heard someone say they are exploring it was more like they were making mischief."
"I'm sorry," young Tom said sounding contrite. "I won't let it happen again. Please don't tell..."
There was silence before she began to talk again this time her voice was softer.
"Well...since this is your first time I'll let you off..But don't let it happen again...or atleast don't get caught or I'll have to tell. What was your name?"
"Tom Riddle," He had said begrudgingly.
"Tom Riddle," She repeated thoughtfully. "...I like it! It sounds like a name you could make lots of different words from. I love doing that with my name. You should try it sometime. My name is…"
"I know who you are.." His angry voice snapped before fading into darkness.
That had been their first meeting and he had hated her after that. Everything about her was annoying. How she popped up at the most inopportune times. How happy she was. How popular she was even more so than him. How everyone loved her. How accepting she was of everyone and everything. She was from one of the most ancient wizarding families and had some of the purest blood to exist yet she chose to become friends with muggleborns and half bloods. It disgusted him, how accepting she was...even of him. She liked his name?! It annoyed him how she looked at him like she knew him...really knew him..She was the same as that damned Dumbledore. Yet there was something in those eyes that he had not seen even in the eyes of Dumbledore. Her eyes had seen the darkness within him...and yet showed no fear. Those eyes accepted him and saw in him something that he had never even seen for himself. In those eyes he seen hope.
As Voldemort stared into the vision of those eyes in the glass the face those eyes belonged to began to form. Full pink lips appeared upon light sun kissed peach colored skin. Long golden ringlets appeared to frame the face that stared back at him through the cold glass. A small familiar smile appeared upon those perfect noble features. It was smile he would never forget. It was a smile that made her entire face light up like the sun, and when she looked at someone with that smile, it was as if they were the only person in the world that she so wanted to see and in her mind she truly believed that at that moment their presence was a gift to the world. Her name was a sacred word that he dared not utter, yet longed more than anything to say. He stared at his vision lost in her smile once more... Just this once. He needed to say her name just this once.
"Delphine…" his voice was barely a whisper.
But as soon as the name left his lips he felt it. A sharp pain ripped from his chest and spread through his body. A cry fell from him as he gripped his chest and stumbled backwards until he fell into the large dusty chair that he often sat at in the study when he was thinking. His face scrunched up as if the pain he was feeling was a physical pain which in his mind he was. He knew what was coming now. It always happened this way.
"Tom?" a young voice called out.
Voldemort gasped and opened his eyes to see the face he had seen in the glass leaning over him. But it was not the same face he had seen in the glass it was slightly younger. Her face looked the way she had been when they had been at school. Delphine had been a prefect for the Hufflepuff house in her sixth year and he had been in his fourth year of House Slytherin..
"Tom speak to me." She said in her worried voice as she looked down on him. "I'm going to help you. But I need you to stay with me. I promise I'm right here…. I won't leave you…"
It was the moment when everything changed. When he began to see her as not the enemy. Up until that point he had been planning to kill her and make it look like an accident because she was snooping too much. The curse had been meant for her, and she knew it. But something went wrong and it had backfired onto himself. Yet she still helped him, she still saved his life that day. She had stayed with him for three days straight. She had not even gone to class. He had often wondered how she managed it. Then again being the granddaughter of the headmaster had to have its perks too. But it was the fact that she had helped him knowing he had meant to harm her, and she had stayed. Every time he opened his eyes she was there holding his hand.
Voldemort reached out a gnarled hand in an attempt to take hers. But then the vision of her disappeared as she always did. He closed his eyes again. This time the visions appeared in his mind. It was a year later at the beginning of his fifth year and her seventh. She had been picked as the Head girl of the school. But there was no surprise there. She was considered to be the brightest witch of her age, and many people believed when she graduated she would go on to become the greatest witch to graduate from the Hufflepuff house.
Once again she had stopped him and his gang from some of their mischief that only she seemed able to catch them at. This time it had been whilst they had been bullying a bumbling third year gryffindor named Rubeus Hagrid. The gang had seen him attempting to sneak a strange looking box into the castle and had cornered him in an abandoned hall demanding he hand it over. However they never had the chance to see what was in the box because not long after Delphine showed up and put a stop to their fun. He had barely managed to keep his friends and himself out of trouble with her. But much to his annoyance she had wrapped an arm around the waist of the giant third year and still taken his side escorting him away from the slytherin group.
Tom had been furious but he couldn't determine what for. Whether it was because she had ruined his fun or because she had taken the halfblood's side over his, or both. In his anger he had waited at the entrance of the Great Hall that he knew she would have to pass through on her way to the Hufflepuff dormitories. There he had confronted her about not taking his side as Head Girl and confiscating the box from the boy. She had snapped back that HE had done nothing wrong by having the box and that as prefects they were only allowed to search someone's belongings if given probable cause. The only probable cause she had seen was Tom and his friends bullying a poor boy who had done nothing wrong. She had turned to walk away only for him to grab her by the arm and stop her.
"Why do you always think the worst of me?" He demanded bringing his face down close to hers.
Even though he was two years younger than her, he was already nearly a head taller than her petite five foot five frame. She had stared up at him intently.
"I don't think the worst of you," She had said quietly. "I actually think very highly of you...You are brilliant Tom..You have the potential to be one of the greatest wizards of the age even greater than my grandfather or Dumbledore. But I also think you are wasting your potential and you are going down a dark path because you cannot let go of your fear and hatred."
She had jerked away from him and turned to flee. Tom had stood there staring at the place where she had been a moment before, his anger surging at her daring to try to tell him about himself when she knew nothing about him. He had taken off after her throwing insults and saying anything he could to drive her to anger including calling her the Hogwarts princess as she was so often referred to owing to the fact that her grandfather was headmaster. It was a name he knew she hated being called Finally he had caught up with her and jerked her into one of the small alcoves behind a large suit of armor. There he had slammed her against the wall before coming to stand inches from her.
"How dare you imagine that you know ANYTHING about me…" He roared down at her.
Delphine didn't flinch or turn her head away from him. But it was obvious she was shaking and attempting to control her own temper.
"Tom stop…."
"HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ME." he continued
"Tom...stop.." she pleaded.
"WHERE I HAVE COME FROM.."
"Tom…"
"THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN…"
"TOM!" She suddenly yelled back at him.
Tom's reaction had been instant as she once more attempted to walk away. He roughly rammed her body against the wall and slammed his lips to hers. At first she had been caught of guard but after a moment she had reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and began to return his kiss just as fervently. He reached up to cup her face in his large hands before allowing one of them to slide to the back of her neck and up into her hair. His lips parted hers so that his tongue could gain entrance to her mouth to deepen their kiss. She quietly moaned into his lips and pulled his body harder against hers. Then all too soon their intimate moment ended as he ripped himself away from her and took off down the hall in a flash leaving her breathless and confused. It had been their first kiss.
Voldemort opened his eyes. He couldn't help the small grin that played at the corners of his mouth as he remembered how horrified he had been or how he had avoided her like the plague for a month. It had taken him that long to realize that she had in fact returned the kiss. So she had feelings for him as well. After the month had passed he had left a sunflower, her favorite, on her desk in the prefects meeting room along with a note that simply said "I'm sorry". He had been terrified that she would throw the note away as he hid slightly concealed behind one of the columns at the back of the room watching her from the shadows. But she didn't. She picked up the flower confused but with a small grin upon her face. She rubbed her nose on the flower as she read the note before a confused look crossed her face and she looked up and around the room trying to figure out who had left it. Soon her eyes fell on him and her smile grew. She gave him a slight nod which he returned, and that was the beginning of it.
Voldemort raised his head to look at the desk where a lone wilted sunflower hung sadly in a vase. He always kept one with him as a reminder. As he watched the dying flower his mind raced forward to the end of that year. He and Delphine had kept their relationship quiet, meeting secretly in abandoned rooms and alcoves. In public they were never seen together, neither really knew why it was just how they were. Their relationship was special and meant only for them. All the while they were together he continued his ancestor's great work in secret. Though he had always felt that somehow she knew. She always had a look of sadness whenever he left her. So many times he wanted to return to kiss the sadness away. But he needed to finish slytherins work...and not even she could stop it. Then on their six month anniversary the time when they had decided to make the ultimate commitment and give their bodies to one another...it happened. An opportunity presented itself...and he had to take it.
After that everything had happened so fast. The girl had died and he had created his first horcrux with his diary. But then after requesting to stay at the school so that he could be close to Delphine he had discovered their plans to close Hogwarts because no culprit had been found. He had to act fast. He couldn't stand the thought of being sent back to the orphanage and away from her. He He had succeeded in framing the boy from before Hagrid the one whom he had discovered smuggling magical creatures into the castle. The school would remain open….But it had cost him.
Voldemort winced as he remembered the look on her face as they escorted Hagrid out of the castle after his wand had been snapped. Her eyes had instantly found his across the crowd and he knew that she knew something. Both them knew that he could never do such a terrible thing and even though she did not know the details she knew this was wrong. When they presented him with a trophy with his name engraved on it, she was the only one who did not applaud. When he left a sunflower on her desk she did not even look at it. When he attended her graduation, she did not even look at him. Then afterwards she disappeared. Her desk was cleaned out, all of her belongings disappeared from her dorm as one the other Hufflepuff prefects told him. She was gone. He later heard that her grandfather had sent her on a year long journey around the world researching magical cures in different cultures. But not before she had assisted Dumbledore in convincing her grandfather to allow that oaf Hagrid to remain at the castle as groundskeeper.
Voldemort growled as he felt the anger and sadness that he had felt so long ago at being abandoned by her. How dare she leave him this way. Did their six months mean nothing? How dare she make him feel this way about her and then abandon him. He had to do what he did. He was the heir of Slytherin..it was his duty! Couldn't she understand that...and Hagrid was a means to an end. If he hadn't done what he did then the school would be closed and he knew that she of all people did not want that to happen. She had sobbed into his shirt for three hours at the thought of them closing the school and being separated from him.
He hated her for leaving him. But even more than that..he hated himself for becoming attached to her. He hated that he could not go a single night without dreaming of her beautiful smile or her gold hair or her eyes. He hated that whenever he did something wrong he could hear her voice chastising him. He hated seeing other couples kiss and feeling his lips tingle yearning the touch of hers. He hated at how his chest hurt whenever he saw a sunflower. But most of all...he hated that he never had the chance to tell her how much she had come to mean to him. He had searched for months for the words to say and had wanted to say them on their six month celebration...but then everything was ruined..and it was his fault. Now he would never get the chance because she had abandoned him and he had decided to hate her with every fiber of his being for the rest of his life.
But that hatred was short lived.
A year later he was beginning his final year at Hogwarts. During the welcoming ceremony just after he was named Head Boy, Headmaster Dippet stepped forward.
"Now students I have a special announcement.."
Tom was barely listening due to being congratulated by his friends.
"It is with the greatest pleasure, I announce that we will be having a new professor joining our staff this year a new class. Many of you knew her as a peer, and I know during her time here she brought much joy to each of you especially myself. So without further adieu it is my honor to introduce my own little sunflower my beautiful granddaughter Delphine Dippet as our new Professor of the Healing Magical arts!"
Voldemort felt his breath catch in his throat as it did all of those years ago when she stood up from the Head table to wave and smile to the students who shoot the great hall with their roaring applause at her return. But Tom didn't hear any of it. His world seemed slow down to a stop and everyone in the hall seemed to disappear except her. How had he not noticed her there before? She was more beautiful than he remembered. Her skin had grown more tan from being in the sunlight. Her long golden curls tamed into a thick french braid that ran down the back of her head and over her shoulder down to her waist. She looked breathtaking in her long flowing emerald robes that made her look more mature than she had . Slowly her gaze had turned to his and their gazes locked. It was at that moment that all his hatred over the last year melted away. All of his anger and sadness was suddenly replaced by pure joy at her return and a hunger that he could not explain. It took over his entire being from somewhere deep inside. He was determined that she would be his again, and this time he wouldn't let her go.
They had started off her class as an elective open for anyone to take with the intent of making it a requirement starting with fifth years the following year. Tom had wasted no time being the first to sign up for the class. Voldemort couldn't help but smile as he remembered how he thought it was convenient that they picked this particular tower for her classroom considering it had been a favorite place of his and hers to sneak off to watch the sunset and snog. She had often told him that if she ever returned as a teacher this would be where she wanted to hold her class as it had large windows on either side so that one had a magnificent view of the lake on one side and the mountains to the north on the other. She had received her look up from his comfortable chair to see a vision of Delphine as she had been the first time she had entered her classroom.
"Good morning class!" She said brightly.
She had worn sky blue robes that morning with the sides of her hair pulled back and then braided down her back. She didn't look like any professor he had ever seen before. But he couldn't stop staring at her from the back of the class. Her eyes fell on him for a single moment. When their eyes locked he could plainly see the question in her eyes. What was he doing here? But before he could send an answer back to her she quickly turned her eyes to the rest of the class.
"Now you all know who I am but pomp and circumstance require that I properly introduce myself. Technically speaking I am Professor Dippet. But judging by the terrified looks on your faces..I think I would prefer for you to call me Professor Dephine." She said with her usual happy smile. " Any objections?"
There had been none. Voldemort remembered how he had been pleasantly surprised to have learned something during her first lesson. Like her grandfather she was a brilliant teacher that made the lesson both educational and fun. Though he probably only thought because she had no fear in causing harm to herself or the students before healing the wounds. That and he had enjoyed her threat of any mischief in her class and she would poison the offender and no one would be the wiser. Voldemort smiled as he remembered how sassy she was. It seemed that she wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. He had been quite nervous himself when she had called for him to stay behind after class and he had approached her desk after leaving. She calmly waited for him sitting on the edge of her desk.
"What are you doing here?" She asked directly.
"What do you mean?" He had asked feigning innocence.
He remembered her face hidden behind a mask of detached coolness. She leaned back and crossed her arms, her wand in one hand.
"What are you doing in my class?" She asked. "You are in your final year. I know that you have finished all of your electives. This is your free period yet you have chosen to take this class. Not to mention I know you have no interest in the healing magical arts."
A small grin played upon his handsome features as he stepped closer to her. "Maybe I've developed an interest. We have a new class never taught here before with a beautiful new teacher. How could I resist?" He reached forward to run his fingertips up her arm. "After all you know that I am interested in higher learning."
Delphine took a breath and stood from the desk stepping out of his reach. "No Tom...We cannot do this...I am a teacher now, and you….you lead a very complicated life...I thought I made it very clear before my graduation that I wanted no part of it…"
Tom felt his anger beginning to rise. He couldn't conceal the hurt in his voice.
"No you didn't...you said nothing..You simply ignored me and then disappeared."
Delphine took a deep breath before she turned around to confront him. "That should have made things very clear. I do not know what it is you did….and I don't believe I want to know..But whatever it was..it meant more to you than I did...or your peers…."
"Thats not true!" Tom had argued. "I…" the words became stuck in his throat. "I..cared for you..more than anyone…" His eyes pleaded with her. "I still do…."
It was at that moment he saw a flicker of something in her face. Something he would to this day believe was longing. But if it was she quickly hid it behind her mask of formality.
"No...This cannot happen Tom. We are different people now. I am a professor and you are a student. I am going to inform the Headmaster that you are dropping my class." She said as she walked past him towards the door.
"No.." He argued. "I refuse..You can't force me to drop the class."
Delphine stopped at the door. "Tom please...don't make this harder on either of us. This cannot be...We cannot be.." She turned around to face him. "...not anymore…"
Voldemort remembered how her words had stabbed him in the chest. Part of him wanted to scream his anger at her. But she was shut down at this moment. He knew he couldn't get to her once she had made up her mind. Maybe she really didn't feel anything anymore. He gave a sigh and turned to look at her desk for a moment to compose himself. He refused to let her know how she had hurt him.
"Very well…." He said quietly as he turned to look back at her. "Professor…."
He strode across the room as if nothing bothered him. He paused at the door next to her.
"I'm surprised at you Delphine." He said turning to look down at her with his cold eyes. "I never took you for a coward. I may have complicated life but atleast I know what I want...You should have never returned.." then without another word he left her standing in the doorway.
Voldemort sighed as he remembered the days that followed. Class went on as usual but he did not return to her class. He did not see her at meals or in the hallways. He had been in complete agony. He couldn't understand why he felt this way. He didn't want to eat. He couldn't sleep. He snapped at the smallest thing. It was as if the world had turned against him. Which was something he wasn't unfamiliar with. But this time he couldn't deal with it. Finally one day he was walking down a corridor towards the prefects meeting room when he past the headmaster and another professor talking.
"I guess it was too soon for her to come back. She is so young. I knew she needed more time. After all she is so young." the professor had said causing Tom to pause and swiftly side step around a nearby corner so that he could listen.
"I agree." the headmaster said. "But she was so adamant to return. Quite frankly I've never seen her so determined. It was as if something were drawing her back. She will never admit it but I know that she was miserable on her world tour. Every letter that I received was soaked in tears. But now that she is here she isn't sleeping or eating..and she is miserable again. I don't know what to make of it." The headmaster said sounding quite confused. Then he gave a sigh. " Oh well... I am sure once she gets away from this castle and spread her wings for a few years she wants...after all I'm sure its just a case of the baby bird not wanting to leave the nest out of fear for her old grandfather…"
"Yes, quite true" the professor had replied. "When is she leaving?"
"Tonight she said. I pleaded with her to finish out the semester….But she was determined...oh well we will have so many broken hearts. So many students enjoyed her class. We had a waiting list for it for the next two semesters!"
Tom's heart had leapt just as he listened to how she was just as miserable as he was both when she left and now. She did still feel for him whether she wanted to admit it not. He couldn't deny satisfaction that he felt over the fact that he was right. But then his heart dropped as the professor's words sank in. She was leaving...tonight. Tom didn't waste another moment as he took off at a sprint towards the tower where she stayed. He didn't know what he would do if she left him again. Not after everything else. He was sure there were not enough horcruxes in the world that he could make to survive. His feet couldn't carry him fast enough up the spiral staircase to her classroom. His chest burned from the exertion.
Finally he reached the door to her classroom. He stopped for a moment to compose himself before he reached up and knocked. There was no answer. He slowly opened the door and felt a cold feeling of dread wash over him. The classroom was dark and empty. He quickly stepped forward to walk to the door that lead to her chambers. The apartment had obviously been magically extended using magic because it was larger than what room the tower had to offer. But it was a nice sized flat with a large living room and furniture and held a large fireplace and there was even a little study nook. On the other side of the room were two doors. Tom quickly went to investigate both. One lead to a powder room while the other lead into a bedroom that held a large four poster bed with night tables, a wardrobe, and a window nook seat that looked out over the of Delphine there was nothing. He found no trace. All of her belongings were gone except for lone light blue scarf covered in sunflowers laying on her bed. She had left again..like the coward she was.
Voldemort closed his eyes and covered his face with his hand as he remembered how his emotions had overcome him. He had lost control and began trashing the room both with his bare hands and magic. He had blasted the wardrobe into the pieces before picking up a lone chair in the corner and hurdling it across the room to smash into a nearby wall. He released a loud cry of anger as he continued his tirade upon the room. He ripped the curtains from the bed causing one of the hooks to cut his arm. Blood began to seep from the cut causing him to finally stop. He didn't care about his wound. His real injuries were much deeper beneath the skin. He turned and ripped up the scarf that had been left. It smelled just like her like honeysuckle and vanilla and fresh flowers. Tears began to well in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of being the first person to make him cry.
Suddenly he had heard a sound behind him. He quickly rubbed his eyes and turned to see Delphine standing in the doorway dressed in her traveling clothing a smart light blue blazer with a white blouse beneath and a knee length pencil skirt with white pumps and a white purse. Her hair was pulled up into a neat bun and covered by a small white pointed hat that came down over her forehead on one side. She had looked so confused to see him sitting there crying in the middle of her bedroom.
"Tom...what are you doing here?" She asked as she looked around the room in astonisment.
Tom had quickly scrambled to his feet ready to take whatever anger she was about to dish out at him. But it never came. Instead she zeroed in on the cut on his arm.
"What have you done?" she asked stepping forward toward him pulling out her wand as she went.
Tom just stared at her as she came over and took his arm to scrutinize the wound.
"You're leaving.." He said in a deadpan voice. It was a statement not a question
She did not reply.
"Why are you leaving?" he asked.
Her mismatched eyes glanced up at him before she looked down again to concentrate on healing his wound.
"Because it is best….I am not ready to be a teacher….I am too young..and have too much on my mind...Maybe in a few years I will be ready."
Finally it was truly his turn to call her on her bullshit as she so often did to him.
"Stop lying to me," He growled never taking his eyes off her. "Its because of me...its because you have feelings for me still...whether you want to admit it or not…"
Delphine took a breath as she finished healing his arm as if the cut had never been there.
"No Tom...please stop this…" She pleaded as she stood and turned away from him. "You have to finish your school and then you have your entire life to figure what you want and who you want." She turned back around to face him. "I am/was a teacher, and as I said you lead a very complicated life...until you figure out what it is you really want...I fear there is no room for anything else in your heart...or anyone…"
Tom looked down at the floor.
"Youre wrong…" He said quietly. "Well...you are right and wrong.."
Delphine turned around to look at him with her arms crossed. Tom wasn't completely sure. But he thought he saw the sparkle of a tear gathering in her eye.
"About what?" She asked quietly.
Tom stood face her and took a deep breath to gather the strength for what he was about to say.
"You were right that I am still a student with my entire life ahead of me, and that I lead a complicated life. But you were also wrong….I don't know much about love or what love even really is..because I've never had it in my lifetime...not really...But what I do know..is that there is only room enough in my heart for one person and that person is you…."
"Tom things can change.." She said now visibly fight back her tears.
He stepped closer to her and pulled her chin up to look at him.
"Things can change….But I don't.."
Delphine's breath caught in her throat. Her eyes glistened with tears as she looked up into his eyes. He could see her hands twitching at her sides as she wanted to do something but did not dare. She turned and pulled away from him.
"Its too late Tom.." She said as she flicked her wand to cast a spell so that all of the broken furniture would put itself back into its rightful place. "We cannot be…..I'm leaving."
She turned to walk out the door. Tom felt his anger surge as he watched her go.
"The HELL you are!" he roared before he suddenly stomped forward towards her. With a wave of his wand he slammed the door to her classroom and her bedroom before she could walk through them. He flicked his wand again causing the locks to bolt tight. Delphine whipped around to face him with wide eyes.
"Tom what do you think you are doing!? She demanded.
"I'm taking whats mine…" He growled in a husky voice.
In only a few steps Tom was across the room and on her. He slammed her back against the door and his lips to hers. His hands grabbed either side of her face to pull her to him deepening their kiss. Delphine didn't hesitate an instant before her arms were up around his neck and she was returning his kiss with as much 's hands slid around her face and up into her hair to rip out the clip that held it in place so that her hair cascaded down over her shoulders freely. His lips broke their kiss as he kissed her nose and then cheek before his lips trailed to her neck where he began a tirade of kissing and sucking on the places that were most senstive.
"Tom we can't do this….please…I'm a teacher..." She gasped. "Please..stop before its too late."
She was right he had thought to himself. It is too late..far too late. Tom's hands slid down her sides, over her slender rounded hips, and around to her backside before he lifted her up and held her against the wall causing her skirt to slide up. Delphine ran her fingers through his hair and leaned forward to tail kisses across his neck and ears and shoulders where-ever she could reach. After a moment Tom brought his mouth back up to hers taking her again into a passionate kiss, forcing his tongue into her mouth. As he did he pulled her away from the wall and carried her over to the bed. When their bodies hit the mattress it became a race to see who could undress who first. As soon as his clothing was shed Tom was back on her relish her smooth silky skin and the warmth of her naked body.
"What if someone comes in?" She whispered as he trailed wet kisses down her body causing her to gasp in pleasure.
Tom stopped long enough to lean back up to hover over her his face inches from hers.
"I don't fucking care anymore." His voice was somewhere between a growl and a hiss.
Voldemort took a deep ragged breath as he remembered how magnificent her body had felt the first time they made love or the many times after that because Delphine chose not to leave and not to make him drop the class. The rest of his final year seemed like a dream because they were together, though they had to keep their relationship even more of a secret that before. To the school it seemed as if he couldn't stand her and she did not regard him at all which surprised everyone including the headmaster who thought that he was nothing but charming and one of their best students. But behind closed doors their relationship deepened beyond anything that Voldemort had ever hoped of having. She was in his every thought and breath from the time he woke up until he fell asleep and even then he only seemed to dream about her and them together.
. Tom had not even thought about the horcruxes or the chamber that year. When he received a medal for magical merit she had politely clapped with the rest of the school. Then later that night prepared a special celebration just for the two of them in the room of requirement. Voldemort would never forget that night. It was without a doubt one of the best of his life. He then remembered the dream that he had been dreaming when he was disturbed by the boy.
It was yet another memory that he could never forget. It had been the night of his graduation. When everyone had gone to bed he had snuck up to the tower to find her grading final exams. After they had made love on her desk they had finally made their way into the bedroom to snuggle together in her large bed. He had pulled out a small box that held an enchanted ring. The ring of his father. The ring that held a part of his soul, and he had asked her to marry him. She had heartily agreed and that night they made plans. They would get married over the summer and he would talk to her grandfather the headmaster about taking the open Defense Against the Dark Arts so that they could live and work together. After that they had made love again and again before finally falling asleep in each other's arms. That night was significant because of what he had asked her...and because it would be their last night together.
Voldemort took another ragged breath and felt a familiar pain rise within his chest. The next day after moving out of his dorm he brought all of his things up to her quarters to store them. He told her he realized he had left his diary in his dorm then afterwards they would go and talk to her grandfather about their plans and ask for his blessing. She had agreed and they had shared a tender kiss before he walked off towards the dungeons. However as soon as he rounded the corner he had turned and gone towards the first floor girls lavatory. He intended to summon the basilisk to kill it and seal the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets so that no one would ever find it again. He intended to end Salazar Slytherin's work with himself. He also intended to end his plans of creating more horcruxes. He would protect those he had left and if he could find a way to rejoin them to the rest of his soul. But Delphine had been right there was not enough room in his heart for those things and her, and he had chosen her. Voldemort suddenly burst from his chair and released a roar of anger as he swiped his arm across the desk.
"WHY" he shouted. "WHY..WHY" Why had he been so stupid. The chamber had been sealed. No one but himself could find it. Why could he not have left it alone!?
"Why did you follow me?" He asked out loud to no one.
He closed his eyes and in his head he heard his younger self speaking parseltongue to call the beast. He heard the sounds of it slithering through the pipes coming closer and closer to answer the call of its master. He heard a great his as it entered the lavatory. He heard himself begin to shout the spell that would end its life when he suddenly heard another voice entering the lavatory.
"Tom?" Delphine called.
Voldemort's eyes shot open and he heard himself screaming out along with his memory.
"DELPHINE SHUT YOUR EYES!"
There was a great hiss and then a scream and then the sounds of a skirmish and more screaming.
"NOOOOO DELPHINE!" He heard himself shrieking.
Voldemort fell back into his chair and covered his eyes. His shoulders began to shake violently as he began to sob as he had so many times before. He did not know how long he sat there. But after what seemed like ages he finally lifted his head. Before him in the middle of the room he saw a vision of himself sitting on the floor of the lavatory that was covered in water and blood holding Delphine's broken body. She had closed her eyes in time. But the Basilisk had picked her up in its mouth instead and shook her like a rag doll before he was able to seal it away again. Her robes covered her torn midsection. In her hand she still held his diary that she had found sitting on top of his belongings and had followed him to return it.
"It hurts," She gasped. "Is the monster gone?"
"Yes, its gone...I sealed it away...It won't hurt you anymore..I promise." He said in a shaking voice. " Its alright..you're alright... Just tell me what to do and we will heal you and make you better.."
Delphine breathed a shaking breath and began to cough up blood. "Its too late…" she said weakly.
"No, " Tom pleaded. "Stay with me..stay with me Delphine please...please don't leave me not now.."
Delphine reached up to stroke his face. "You have to go Tom...You have to get out of here..You can't let them find you.."
"No I'm not leaving you," He argued his tears were beginning to well in his eyes. "No we have to get you help..I have to heal you please Delphine tell me what to do.."
"Tom listen to me," She said with a trembling voice. "You have to go. If you stay you will be blamed. Please just leave me here and go..they are coming….please leave me and go.."
Her face was turning deathly pale before his eyes and her lips were turning blue. Her body was going cold in his arms. She didn't have much time. Tom felt his tears begin to run down his face as he leaned forward to kiss her lips for the final time.
"I love you.." He whispered.
"I love you." she replied.
Tom laid her down and got up never taking his eyes off of her. He was nearly to the door when he heard the sounds of voices outside.
"I heard the screams in here." a voice said.
He turned and ran for the bathroom stalls to hide. As he past her he took one final look at her and saw her reaching out towards one of the pieces of the sink that had been destroyed in the struggle. He closed the door in time to hear Headmaster Dippet and professor Dumbledore come in to discover her.
"MY GOD DELPHINE!" her grandfather had cried. "WHAT HAPPENED!?"
Tom could barely hear her voice as she whispered that she had been attacked by an acromantula that must have escaped from Hagrid two years ago. She said that she had killed it. She begged them not to blame Hagrid because he didn't know. It was an accident. The headmaster had begged for Dumbledore to heal her as he could not. He did not have the skill. Tom had leaned against the stall silently begging for Dumbledore to save her. He knew he could. Dumbledore was said to be one of the greatest wizards of all time if anyone could save her it was him. He had too. But Dumbledore had refused stating that he could not. There was too much damage to her body not to mention that he did not know what kind of poison could be affecting her.
Voldemort hunched over as he continued to loudly sob in his chair repeating her name over and over. He could not take anymore. He would never forget the anger he felt that Dumbledore refused to save her. He could have. Voldemort knew he could have...but he chose not to. Voldemort had been forced to listen to her final ragged breaths as she died in the arms of her grandfather away from him. Her final words had been to beg her grandfather not to close the school...b
"This school is where my heart is, and where it will always be," She had whispered in a trembling voice before going silent.
Voldemort felt his own heart breaking all over again. He reached into his robes to pull out a light blue scarf covered in sunflowers and held it to his heart as if it were the most precious thing in the world. For days Tom sat in the first floor lavatory hoping to find her as a ghost returned to the castle. He cursed her name time and again demanding that she have no peace in her death while he was left her alone. He begged her to come back. He cried until he had no tears left to cry and no voice to speak. Then after her funeral he had gone to Headmaster Dippet and begged for the defense against the Dart Arts position. He never told him of their relationship or why he wanted the position. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving the castle with the possibility of her still waiting there for him. At the moment of her death Tom had felt himself slip into darkness. He had felt his heart stop along with hers. Her death had renewed his own fear of death. He decided to continue his original plan of making the horcruxes. He was determined to live forever or until a time when he could find a way to cheat death to bring her back. He promised on her death that he would find her again. He also swore to become the greatest dark wizard the world had ever seen, and when he did he would bring and end to Albus Dumbledore for not saving his beloved. He would make him pay.
~Several months later~
Harry Potter stood in Dumbledore's office listening to the headmaster speak of his fear of the connection the boy had developed with the Dark Lord. He heard that he was to taking occlumency lessons from Snape in an attempt to shield his mind from Voldemort. He was on the verge of following Snape out when he turned back to the headmaster.
"Professor Dumbledore...can I ask a question?" he asked.
"What is it?" the headmaster replied walking back around his desk.
"A couple of times when my mind has been connected to his..Voldemort's I've heard him call out a name…"
"What name is that Harry?" Dumbledore asked curiously.
"Someone named Delphine…" Harry said quietly. "Do you know who she could be?"
Dumbledore was silent for a moment before he put his hands behind his back and shrugged his shoulders at the boy before him.
"No idea, could be anyone..or no one..there is no way to tell." Dumbledore replied nonchalantly
"Ahh," Harry replied. "I see."
"Goodnight Harry," Dumbledore said with his normal grin.
"Goodnight professor," Harry replied before he left the headmaster's office.
Dumbledore sat down at his desk and for the next few hours thought over the information Harry had just given him. Why on earth would Voldemort be thinking of Delphine Dippet after all of this time? He had long had his suspicions that Tom Riddle had something to do with her death. He knew how much he hated her. But he never had any proof only speculation. Why?..unless..
As the sun began to break over the great castle Dumbledore summoned Professor McGonagall to his office. She appeared still in her dressing gowns and non to happy at being interrupted from her first cup of tea of the day.
"What is it Albus?" She asked grumpily as she walked in and took her normal seat at his desk. "And don't offer me another damned lemon drop this early in the morning."
"I'm afraid this is a matter of a serious nature...regarding Amelia…" He said looking at the older witch over his half moon glasses.
Minerva's eyes instantly widened and he had her attention.
"My daughter?" She asked. "What about her?"
"I fear she may be in danger" Dumbledore said as he stood from his desk and began to pace. "Do you remember when I first brought her to you?"
"Yes," Minerva replied. "She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. You told me that she had been orphaned in an attack and needed someone you trusted to look after her, and that was that. I adopted her."
Dumbledore listened before he came to stand in front of her. "Yes, that is true...But I am afraid that is not everything about her….I think its time you learned where she really came from."
~~Six months earlier beginning of the school year~~
"I promise you are going to love this class." Fred said as he and George escorted the trio up the spiral stone staircase to the tower where their new class would be held.
"I'm surprised you two enjoy this class," Hermione said skeptically. "I thought you hated school."
"School yes, this class no," George replied. "Its more so because of the teacher."
"Yes she is the best teacher in the school in my opinion." Fred grinned
"As beautiful as she is brilliant." George said in a sing songy voice. "She held us developed the cures for our Skiving snack boxes."
"Surely not...what kind of self respecting professor would help the two of you develope such a thing." Hermione asked furiously.
"Hopefully a good one," A voice said from behind her.
They all whipped around to see one the most beautiful young witches they had ever seen before. Harry and Ron were instantly dumbfounded.
"She is our teacher?" Ron asked in awe.
Amelia smiled at them all. "Hello you three I'm so happy to finally have you in my class!"
Fred and George threw their arms around the professor in a crushing hug.
"You two...shouldn't you be off doing something useful with yourselves?" She asked raising an eyebrow but returning their hug all the same.
"Of course…" They said in unison.
"But we never miss a chance to visit our favorite teacher." Fred said sheepishly.
"Even if it means escorting new students to your class." George replied.
Amelia rolled her eyes and smiled at them. "Well they have found their way here..so your duty is done..now off you go to class boys, go on go on...mischief managed." She said as she shooed them away before turning back to the others. "Well now are you ready for my class?"
"Professor?" Hermione began with a look of concern. "Why would you help them with their skiving snackboxes...Those should be illegal.."
Amelia just smiled at her. "Well I know they are going to do it anyway and I would rather them not do something that would harm themselves or another student..so I might as well keep them as safe as I can. Anyway shall we?" She asked reaching out a hand to lead them into her classroom.
Harry and Ron continued to be dumbfounded as they made their way to their desks. How could such a young and beautiful witch be a teacher here? How had they never noticed her before?! She wore long emerald green robes with her long curly sunshine and honey colored hair braided down her back to her hips. She took her place at the front of the class and smiled at her new students.
"Good morning class and welcome to the study of the healing magical arts!" she said in a bright happy voice. "Now many of you know who I am but some do not and therefore pomp and circumstance requires that I properly introduce myself. Technically speaking I am Professor McGonagall. But judging by the terrified looks on your faces..I think I would prefer for you to call me Professor Amelia..or Professor Amy whichever you would prefer." She said as she looked out over her class through bright shining mismatched eyes one bright emerald green and the other deep ocean blue. " Any objections?"
If I Can't Love Her lyrics from Beauty and the Beast (Josh Groban cover)
And in my twisted face
There's not the slightest trace
Of anything that even hints of kindness
And from my tortured shape
No comfort, no escape
I see, but deep within is utter blindness
Hopeless
As my dream dies
As the time flies
Love a lost illusion
Helpless
Unforgiven
Cold and driven
To this sad conclusion
No beauty could move me
No goodness improve me
No power on earth, if I can't love her
No passion could reach me
No lesson could teach me
How I could have loved her and make her love me too
If I can't love her, then who?
Long ago I should have seen
All the things I could have been
Careless and unthinking, I moved onward
No pain could be deeper
No life could be cheaper
No point anymore, if I can't love her
No spirit could win me
No hope left within me
Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free
But it's not to be
If I can't love her
Let the world be done with me.
A/N
Well I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I honestly never thought I could write a story for Voldemort and now I'm completely in love. I am a hard Tolphine and Voldelia shipper. If you did enjoy please let me know by leaving a review. As I said before if there is enough interest in the story then I will take this one shot and expand it into a full story with more detail in how Tom and Delphine's relationship developed as well as a continuation after the oneshot where we find out how Delphine became Amelia and what happens when the Dark Lord discovers his love is alive. Thanks so much again love all of you guys!
Updated 12/2/16: Note to everyone. Thank you so much for the mass amount of love and personal messages I have received for this story. Therefore I have decided to continue it! I will begin posting on it soon. This chapter will change slightly so as to incorporate the new chapters.