A/N Weeeeeelllllllll, after some insane laughter, wipe-ing of tears from my eyes, and a very yummy cake made by my friend Michelle, I had to make a commentary of this… well, there are no words to describe it. I promise I will update my other fics soon!

AN: afta redin da hairy potty (Wow, your toilet's got fuzz? WTF…) books (not rly i saw the mooviez lolololol)(Why so many lol's?) i desided 2 make mi own hary potty (I thought it was HAIRY Potty) storee.

note 2 da reedars: neva beliv any1 hu sayz a blak man dont like fired chickin (… o_O)

I wuz sittin out on da porch an mi mama leend out da windo an sayed "watchu doin soulja spirit buu jackson?". (I named my pillow pet easta spirit buu Jackson… but what kind of name is this? And how does this dude even read the keyboard? He's a total fricken illiterate rock star from mars {winning;P})

"nuttin much" i said "we gut no food". (How can you GUT no food? It's got. WOW, you're on a drug called Charlie sheen…)

"o turtle don cri" (Turtle? Why would this illiterate racist Martian be called turtle?)

"na mama i aint mad" i says. den i loked at da gund n said "i wish i had sum fried chinkin"(YOU EAT FRIED CHINESE PEOPLE? WTF?) den... dere wuz fried chikin on da grion!11111111111111 (Now I really don't want it. Um, no one wants p***s chicken… I can't believe I/you typed that, ravenretallishun)

"yo buu wuz dat i smel" mi mama said.(I thought his name was turtle…) I lookd arund all snecky (What is snecky? Righting every single wroooOoooOng is gonna have to wait, Charlie… I think in might be obsessed with that song… LUV YOU SCHMOYOHO!) like and den i whispad "fried chikin" (Wow, there really are a trillion ways to spell chicken…) an it went away. i wuz scared but nut in a afrayed way.(How can you be scared but not afraid? THEY'RE THE FREAKING SAME THING!) den i whispad again "fried chicken" and it appered agan!111 so den i desided 2 tri sumden out. "wattamelon" an dere it iz a big ol slice o watrmellon at mah fet. (Watermelon too? YOU'RE RUINING ALL THE WORLD'S GREAT FOODS! BIYOTCH) mah mam lend out da door agan "boi now i no i smel sumden". so den i leaned ova and wispad "fired chikin... wattamelon" an dey boat went away. (I can understand why… even if it is p***s chicken.) i gut up an says 2 mi mama "lock mama!11 i aint gut nottin!11" (You locked up your mom?)

"but im so hundreh" sayed ma mama. den i felt sad.(But not in an anguished way, right?) so i pointed mah finger at da grund an sayed "fried chikin" den a big ol bunmch (What's a bunmch?)of fired chikim (Make that a trillion and ONE ways) appeerd. mi mama jumpt an scrammd. (Scrammed? Or screamed?) she ran in da house an slamed da door. "dun cum bak or ill shot ya!" she sayd. so i left.

so whadda think? (You really don't wanna know) IF U FLAM UR RASSIST. (So I'm against rastas? WTF WHYYYYY? NUUUUUUU! *dies*

So that's the amazing chapter one. NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SAVE YOURSELF CHILDREN! !