Mandatory disclaimer:
I do not own Inuyasha. Any and all refrence is purley to pay homage to the wonderful woman who does, Rumiko Takahashi.
I also do not own any of the music mentioned.
This is a oneshot inspired by a song, so i recommend listening to it before or during reading to be able to understand the depth of feeling.
Mild lime. Some graphic language and adult situations. So i recommend not reading unless you are 16 or older.
Set to the song "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
Thinking about her sent a feeling into my gut that made me feel like spitting. Not because it was negative, but because I had yet to fully accept that she was the single most important being in my life. Every morning I wake up and i realize how truly alone I am without her near me. That my heart and soul felt like empty shells without her there to fill up my world with her smile and that damn scent of hers. No matter how many fights I got into. No matter how much I drank. The one thing that filled that void was Kagome. I laid on the weight bench in the corner of my tiny flat, my head rested in my hands. From this angle I could see just the top of the window and out into the evening sky that was now a peachy orange hue.
I had a fight tonight and if she didn't show up then I didn't know how it would go. Sometimes when she isn't there I'm able to let my anger really fuck the other guy up. But others I just didn't see the point. I won either way cause I was strongest in the hanyou class, my weight range or not. But winning never felt better than when she was there to cheer and give me a hug of congratulations. It always sent a second rush of adrenaline through my system and allowed me to appreciate every inch of her being even more. I felt a nudge at my hanging left foot and looked down to see Kagome's cat Bouyo. I was watching the fat bastard until her mother and the rest of her family got back from their vacation to Kyoto. I hated cats.. but this one was pretty alright. He just slept and mrrowed whenever he was hungry. So he was manageable to say the least.
I sighed and lifted myself into a sitting position, resting my forearms on my knees. Swinging my leg over I grabbed the cat and laid him on his back in my arms. I looked around at my simple flat. Two of the walls in the corner were glass, looking over the city. The open floor plan didn't really leave much for decorating. My bed rested against the far glass wall, shielded from the outside by a row of curtains. Above my bed was an old sword I had gotten from my dad in his will. My brother was still pissed that I had gotten it instead of him because he was older. But whatever. I guess it was cool.
I had simple hampers across the room and a wardrobe that stood a few inches taller than my ears reached. I didn't need much, training gear.. workout clothes.. a few t-shirts and hoodies and some dress shirts and pants in case of emergency. I really was a fucking bachelor. I guess it wasn't that bad, my job at the library was enough to pay for this place and then some. I mean.. books are a fucking joke but it was always quiet and I could hide away from people for a while and get paid for it. But mostly they used me for my strength, hauling large boxes of books over from collections and setting them up in alphabetical order in their own little sections.
I guess some of that transferred here because I now tend to keep things in order of dewey decimal. I stood sluggishly and tossed the cat onto the bed with a soft "mmmmrrraaw" I needed some type of sustenance before I drove to the ring and got warmed up to subdue my mind. I opened the pantry to gaze on my other love… ramen. After making myself a bowl and destroying it, I decided that procrastinating was getting me absolutely nowhere. I changed into my red sweat pants and tai chi shoes. I didn't really care if they were a Chinese thing, they were lightweight and flexible and that's what I needed cause walking around barefoot all the time was "unsanitary".
I donned my hoodie and put my hair up in a bun. After grabbing my bag with my gear I snatched the keys to my bike and I was off. Halfway down the stairs I realized that maybe I should have taken a shot or two before leaving. But fuck it.
The weather was perfect for the bike tonight, just warm enough with a cool breeze. I grabbed my helmet and fastened it around my chin, the full face mask gave me a sense of anonymity.. even though it had a customized area for my ears and made it look like my helmet had them as well. It also had a Kevlar opening at the top so I could hear but keep the wind noise down. I guess dad's inheritance wasn't that bad. Swinging the backpack around and securing it between my shoulders, I mounted my red stead. I named it Tessaiga, like the sword my father had given me. I supposed that it looked like i had an affinity for red.. I guessed that I liked it well enough. It brought about positive feelings.
After bobbing and weaving my way through evening traffic I managed to pull into Totosai's Gym and go around back to my spot. After I secured my bike I sighed and pushed open the thick metal door. He felt some type of way about metal and steel work. "Inuyasha my boy!" Totosai bellowed, his small frame making it's way towards me. "can I at least put my shit up first before you lecture me?" I growled, not ready for his usual "you've got to control yourself in the fight! Focus your mind if you wanted to master the technique!" bullshit. I tossed my crap into my locker and shed my jacket.
The sweatpants I had on were switched out for some cut-off sweats and compression shorts. I sat on the bench in front of the locker and tried to keep my mind from obsessing if she was going to be here tonight by wrapping my hands and feet. After I was sure they were adequately fastened, I got up and griped my way to a training rink. Totosai was already in the ring, his forearms covered by the thick training pads. I always was mildly disgusted by the thick scent of sweat by yokai, hanyou and human alike. But i blocked it out as i began to beat the fuck out of this old man's arms. He was incredibly fast, faster than me at some points. I suppose his demon blood was to blame even though he was older than dammit. My cellphone buzzed in my pocket and I put in my headphones and answered, "yeah."
"Hey, Inuyasha!" it was Miroku. " You on tonight?" I rolled my eyes as i slammed my shin against the pad, giving a grunt from the force. "Yeah. Against Koga. They ran out of hanyou since I was running through them. I'm ready to fuck that reeking wolf-boy up." I grunted, making a southpaw into a combo hit. "Your girl is coming" Miroku jested, knowing how Inuyasha would take it. "you sure?" "Yeah I was in the car with Sango earlier when she called to ask the time of the fight. Like she doesn't know that they always start at 7. I think she was just trying to play dumb so Sango wouldn't notice that this is the fourth fight in a row she's been to. " I smiled at that. She had been very consistent with coming up here even though it sometimes contradicted with work at Kaede's small medical practice. She was still in school for nursing, but Kaede allowed her to do her clinical hours at the small non-profit on the outskirts of town. The thought of Kagome being here for such an important fight made my heart flutter. Maybe I would ask her back to my place for dinner afterwards.
"Focus Inuyasha!" Totosai nagged, snagging me in the kidney with the pad. "Gotta go Miroku. You coming?" I asked, dodging another body shot. "Yeah man, of course i will be." I smiled at that and ended the conversation.
After some more light workout i was allowed to rest for the hour before my fight. I always hated this down time. I was coiled and ready to go, no need to sit here and "regain my energy" I was a fucking hanyou. Snatching a water bottle from the fridge, i took a hasty drink and sat to re-wrap my left foot when I heard a small noise at the locker room door. The scent hit me before she could even speak, making my heart jump. "Hey Inuyasha." Kagome smiled, closing the door behind her. Her sun dress made my breath catch as it swirled up her thighs at the rotation. Yellow was such a beautiful color on her.
"What are you doing back here?" I asked, not necessarily upset by this, just curious. She had never come to visit me back here before. "I just came to make sure you were doing okay, Koga said that you were his opponent tonight and i -" I shook my head quickly,"You talked to Koga?" I felt betrayed. She was my closest friend and she knew how much i hated that goat-fucker. "Yeah, he found me a little bit ago and asked if i would go out with him tonight after the fight.." My heart sunk. "..And you said?" I prodded, knowing my voice had a bit of venom. She shifted nervously and rubbed her arm,"I told him I would go.. But just as friends." fuck my life. And fuck that guy! He knew that he wasn't allowed NEAR Kagome, much less to take her out!
I couldn't suppress the low growl that reverberated from my chest. I was going to murder him tonight. I was going to rip that silver tongue straight from his fucking mouth. "Are you upset?" she asked, looking at me through those eyelashes. "keh," I huffed, "go out with whoever you want. I just don't understand why you would fuck with him. He's such a tool." I lied. Of course I cared. I wanted her and only her. I wanted to fucking grab her and kiss her senseless. I wanted to bash his smug face in. A look I couldn't quite understand flashed on her face briefly before she made an excuse to get to her seat in the front row I always made sure was open for her. As soon as she closed the heavy metal door I put my fist through a locker and let out a howl. 5 minutes. 5 minutes before I would make that fucker pay.
"C'mon man." Miroku called out from the door, giving me a towel and mouth piece. I snatched my gloves from the bench and shouldered past my friend as i heard my entry music. "Psycosocial" by Slipknot ripped through the speakers as i moved through the roaring crowd. It was a particularly packed fight because it was the first time youkai and hanyou have been pitted against each other. I'm pretty sure I even heard about it being televised. "From the red corner, weighing in at 185 pounds, standing at an honest 6 foot even. The Silver Soul Stealer of Tokyo. INUYASHA!" the crowd erupted at my entrance. I didn't react. Fuck this match.
I stood outside the door to the cage and let them check me out and secure my claws guards on my gloves and pat me through. I shed my t-shirt and I heard a reaction from the crowd. I bounced to flex my calves and entered the arena. I set my jaw as my music faded to start Koga's music. I closed my eyes and focused my attention on blocking out the noise and listening to my own breathing. I really should have taken a few shots before coming out here. Because damn it if I didn't want to look over at Kagome's seat right now.
"..and entering from the blue corner, weighing in at 190 pounds and standing in at 6 foot 1 inch. The Terror Tornado himself. KOGA!" the crowd responded with equal vigor. Koga went through the same routine I was forced through and claw guards. I opened my eyes just in time to watch him throw a wink in Kagome's direction and I nearly ripped his fucking throat out right then. A low hiss escaped as a managed a smile I could only assume came out looking like a grimace. Koga rested his gaze on me then and smiled that fucking crooked grin. We met in the center, forcing chest as i looked into those bright blue eyes.
The ref separated us, telling us the rules and making us bump fist before the bell rang. As soon as I had the go ahead I landed the fattest fist against his jaw. I dodged a right hook but received a shin to the side. After dodging a few more of his blows I landed a flying knee to his diaphragm, making him stumble backwards and giving me the opening i needed to take him down, I speared him, yanking his knee up to his chest. We landed in a heap, me being on top.
I got him in a crucifix quickly, releasing my anger onto his face. Blow after blow i felt my knuckles connect with his jaw. After five i felt something quickly latch around my throat and send me flying backward onto the ground. He had somehow managed to get his feet up and snag his ankles around my neck, whipping me away from the sensitivity of his face. I sputtered, choking from the pressure of his feet against my neck. I managed to hook an arm around his right leg and whipped us around so that he was on his stomach.
But before i could do anything, the bastard jumped around and landed a heel against my temple, sending me to the mat. I felt the white hot pain of broken flesh from the blow and the rough mat beneath my cheek. Before Koga could get on me, the bell for the round rang. I pushed myself up onto my hands and then rose to stand, feeling Miroku's hands under my arms. I shrugged him away and went to my corner, my equilibrium a little jacked up. Totosai wiped my face free of blood and slathered vasaline on the cut to stop the bleeding.
They checked my face one more time before i fixed my hair and went back to my spot, staring a hole through that smug bastard. Id break those fucking quick legs of his like toothpicks. I still refused to look over at Kagome, the idea of her rooting for Koga had my stomach in my feet. The bell rang and we were back at it, trading blows. I managed to get some pretty hefty fist to the wolf's face and head. But he also wore me out with those feet of his.
We finally managed to lock up, our knees trading turns bashing into the exposed kidneys of the other. He managed to slip a foot behind mine and trip me up, but instead of going down alone i flipped him onto his back. While we huffed, locked in together, I heard Koga laugh. "So this is how Kagome will feel later, when i'm fucking your trash scent off of her. " At that. I lost it.
My vision blurred and i began to see red. I stood with a howl, holding him up by the throat and slammed him onto his back, making the entire ring shake. I pounced then, straddling him in another crucifix as I layed into him, my fist landing home over and over again. My fangs pulsed for the bastards blood. The demon inside me ripped at his confines, snarling and thrashing. I didn't hear the bell or the ref. I didn't even hear Miroku as they all tried to yank me off of him. The only thing that managed to break my spell was Kagome's voice. I looked up to see her face pressed against the fence "INUYASHA!" she screamed, her eyes brimming with tears," STOP IT!" she sobbed, searching my eyes with hers, "YOU'LL KILL HIM! STOP IT!" and I did. I let them jerk me from his still smiling face. He stood and wiped the blood from his mouth, spitting to the side and spraying red onto the mat.
My vision began to clear, my hearing coming back. "And the winner by default due to illegal use of ability by the opponent, The Terror Tornado, KOGA!" I shook my head and let myself be dragged from the ring by Miroku, a towel placed on my shoulders. I made my way through the waves of people, ignoring cameras and microphones in my face. Even though this wasn't a title fight, it was going to be something that people would continue to talk about long after tonight.
Once we got into the locker room and away from prying eyes, my team sat me down. They didn't seem angry, but concerned instead. Miroku sat across from me on the bench, looking me in the eyes. His voice held a steady peace that attempted to calm me. "Inuyasha, what happened to you. You turned out there. Your eyes turned red and the marks showed up on your cheeks. Your claws broke through your guards. What happened man?" I shook my head, my hands moving to my bun to remove the tie. I did notice that my claw guards were torn to shreds.
My silver hair fell around me, covering my face. "I don't want to talk about it." I spat, getting up and changing into my street clothes quickly. I heard Totosai leave, without a single word. Miroku came up to me again, his arm resting against the locker. "What did he say, Inuyasha. I saw him speak and that's when you snapped." His aura pulsed as he attempted to expand its calming affect. I closed my eyes as i pushed the locker door closed. "He was talking shit and mentioned Kagome." I hissed, turning from my friend. He deserved my honesty. "Where are you going?" He called after me, not moving to stop me as i strapped on my backpack. "You know where" i answered, my voice low and tired. I was going to try and turn my blood into alcohol and destroy what was left of any positive thought my brain might harbor.
The whisky burned my throat as I pulled down an entire glass. I looked up and made eye contact with the bartender, Hatchi, The raccoon-dog nodded and left the bottle. Minutes turned to hours but no matter how much of this fire water i drank down, her face was the only thing i could see. I thought of her laugh, her smile. I thought about the fact that she was with Koga right now. I shot back another full glass. I was going to fill this hole or drown myself. I was craving her presence and it fucked me up.
Maybe i should let her go. Maybe I should give up. But i couldn't. All i wanted to do was hold her and drink in her scent. I wanted to be drunk on her body, not this fucking alcohol. I signaled Hatchi and requested a hard scotch. He poured a glass and turned to replace the bottle but i stopped him, I was going to finish what i started.
"Inuyasha.. I don't know. You have already had 2 bottles of whisky. I know you have a hefty tolerance but this seems a little much. I'm going to call Miroku to come get you." the whining raccoon-dog threatened as I knocked back the smooth scotch. I felt myself snap at the poor, portly raccoon-dog. "Fuck you, Hatchi. And fuck Miroku. AND FUCK THAT WOLF!" i screamed, throwing the glass at the wall, causing it to shatter. My demonic aura flared, causing my vision to falter for a moment before I was able to control myself. A few youkai who were sitting near by stood to say something to me,"Don't you FUCKING touch me" I slurred, squinting at the Fox and Otter demons who stood and made their way towards me. The lesser demon behind the counter disappeared into the back room quickly, his raccoon tail held high in agitation.
Hatchi intervened then, waving them off. "I called Miroku, Inuyasha. He's on his way. Ill get you some water." "Don't bother", I growled, tossing my keys and helmet behind the counter. I stood and threw down a hundred and made my way out of the bar. The cool night air made me want to vomit. I felt like i was swimming as I made my way down the street towards my apartment. I wasn't stumbling, but damn it if i didn't have to focus on every single step I took. I had been walking for maybe 10 minutes before Miroku's car pulled up beside me.
"Inuyasha, get in the car. " He called though the passenger window, leaning into the seat towards me. His voice held a tone of brotherly worry that I couldn't ignore. I only responded with a solid middle finger. When he pulled the car over was when I decided I had enough. Springing forwards, i fell into a dead sprint, jumping over and on top of cars and awnings. Running felt more natural to me than walking and always seemed to be my body's default when I didn't want to cope. The wind felt good on my face as i traversed the streets, jumping from street lamp to street lamp. Once I reached my building and dropped to the lower level, my balance faltering with my landing. I guess i wasn't as okay as i thought.
I was still smashed, but I managed to put in the code to the building and make it through the doors and up the 8 flights of stairs to my level. Once i got to my door, i searched my pockets and backpack. I couldn't find my keys.. wait. I rested my pounding head against the door. I had left them with Hatchi. I made my way over to the small balcony of the stairwell and pulled out my phone. Before I realized what I was doing, I had her number dialed from memory just as she answered, my mind caught on to what was happening and I fumbled with the device. "fuck! Shit.." I growled as it slipped from my grip and tumbled the 8 stories to the ground.
My ears flattened and I held my face in my hands. I was such a fucking idiot. I listened as the device bounced off of railings and made contact with the concrete floor below. No wonder she didn't give me the time of day. What was I going to do. I stumbled back to my door and slid down, my back to the cool wood. Closing my eyes I began to slowly thump the back of my head against the door. I checked my watch, the digital numbers read out a mocking 3 o'clock in the morning. I felt the blood slowly coming from the cut on the side of my face. It had been a pretty wide cut to begin with and usually I heal quickly but the new moon was tomorrow night and my blood already felt suppressed by my human side. I ignored it as the small line of blood trailed to my chin.
When I stopped moving is when I felt like i was in a whirlpool. I also could feel ache in my muscles from the fight earlier. I sat there for I don't know how long, not seeming to get any more sober. My arms rested on my knees in front of me, my hands making small movements as i silently recited the entire Melvin collection from work in order of date released. I didn't pay attention as a pair of footsteps made their way quickly up the stairwell, it was sometime around 4 and it was probably one of those early jogging freaks. "Inuyasha" a voice gasped. I opened my eyes slowly and caught the scent all at the same time. It felt like it always did, my skin became alive and it felt like ice and fire simultaneously coursed through my veins. I felt chill bumps raise on my arms as my heart fluttered in my chest.
Kagome stood in front of me, holding her keys in one hand, the other clenched into a fist by her chest. That damn sun dress of hers made me growl softly, I couldn't help that she made me feel like I was standing tall but falling all at the same time. I let out a long sigh and thumped my head one more time before i tried to stand. But the damn floor kept moving so I stumbled forward. I guess i really was good at it, standing and falling, that is. I was caught by her small frame, pushing me onto her shoulder. "God, Inuyasha. You smell like the inside of a liquor bottle." she whispered, leading me back to the door. Her tiny arm snaked around my waist as he took the brunt of my mass. I felt bad, but i couldn't seem to do anything else but allow her to help me. Kagome fumbled with her keys and put her spare in the lock, turning the tumblers and allowing us entry. My feet felt like they were in shoes much too heavy for them to move easily. I ended up tripping her a couple of times. Bouyo greeted us, rubbing against our legs as we made our way across the flat and to my bed.
Turning me around, she sat me gently on the surface. I was too ashamed to speak to her, knowing she was silently seething from my current inebriated state. She always hated it when I drank. I slouched and scrubbed at my face with my hand, trying to straighten my vision. Kagome disappeared to the kitchen and returned quickly with a wet towel. Sitting beside me on the bed, she angled her body towards mine. Her subtle scent brushed up against my frontal lobe in an almost erotic caress. The tender touch of her delicate, slender fingers didn't hurt as she wiped the blood away, pressing the towel to my head. "Your hair is streaked with blood" she whispered, wiping at my bangs. I was drunk on more than the bars spirits now that her scent was so close. I tried to fight it's powers over me but failed miserably. I couldn't even smell the wolf on her.
My eyes focused on her face, taut with concern. "Gods. You smell like heaven. " I whispered, unable to look away from her beautiful pouty lips. I took in a deep, nostril filling breath. She stopped dabbing and looked to my face then. We were so close that I could hear her heartbeat, her body's warmth leaving another trail of goosebumps on my arm. "You're just drunk." she whispered her breath brushing my cheek. I heard her heart quicken. A small tendril of her raven black hair fell across her collar bone. I shook my head, my eyelids falling to half-mast as i raised a clawed hand and gently brushed the hair back, careful not to mar her perfect porcelain skin. "No. It's not that. You are always my favorite smell. I only ever want you near me."
"You've never said anything like that before." she added, seeming hesitant. "You actually tell me I stink most of the time.." I growled and closed my eyes, turning my face from hers. "Because I'm a fucking dumbass emotional shut in who isn't fucking man enough to tell the woman that he loves that she is the single best thing to happen to his miserable existence." I hissed at myself, shaking my head. Why was I so fucked up. "You love me?" she asked, her breath catching. Nooo. Nononononononono.
I tightened my eyes and pursed my lips back over my teeth. FUCK. Had I really said that out loud. I was screwed. It was done. She would never talk to me again. I had very few redeeming qualities and at the moment I couldn't recall enough to make her forget that I can't control my mouth. I opened my eyes slowly to catch hers. Before I knew what was happening, she closed the gap between us, her lips reaching mine. The explosion of senses gave me an instant hard on. Our lips hurried now, pushing to fight some unseen deadline. I didn't know what to do. I had never before been kissed like this. I mean I kissed my ex before she died, but that was different. My features relaxed as I sighed into her, pouring all the words i could never actually say into her.
Kagome was everywhere. She was all i saw, all i felt. I could smell nothing else but her intoxicating aroma. We slowed for a moment, leaning our foreheads together. I tried to say something smart but ended up dry heaving. I quickly ran to the trash can and deposited the nights alcohol. "I swear you didn't make me throw up. " I choked, spitting into the pail. She laughed and stood, stopping to look at me for a moment before she went and retrieved my toothbrush from the restroom. After I hauled myself off of my knees, feeling a bit more sober, I unceremoniously brushed my teeth in the kitchen sink and plopped down onto the bed. Falling onto my back, I pointed to the ceiling "Can ya get that fan please" I asked, not opening my eyes as i grabbed at my shirt and tried to pull it over my head.
Obviously the whole visual was pathetic because she chuckled quietly and came over and helped me out of my shirt and shorts. I heard Kagome's intake of breath when she noticed my little friend that had previously been awoken. He had not yet calmed and was being rather impressive. "Don't look at it. It likes the attention." I mumbled, rolling to my side.
I heard more movement of clothes and felt her crawl into bed across from me. I opened my eyes and guffawed as i took in seeing her there, smiling at me with one of my t-shirts on. I could have died a happy man right then and there. But there was more I had planned and I was currently still too drunk to die without it being sad. I reached over and took her left hand, holding it tightly. She then shimmied over and curled up beneath my chin, allowing me to wrap my arms around her. She was quiet, but her scent did not hold any traces of regret or fear. So I let it lull me to sleep before my mouth had a chance to say anything else I may or may not regret.
I didn't end up waking up till around noon. Kagome had awoken early and drawn the curtains around the windows so I could rest longer. When my eyes opened and I rubbed away the bleary film, I saw her. She lay across from me, a book in her hand and her silken hair draped around her shoulder and over my old worn red t-shirt like a gentle curtain. I couldn't help but stare. She was there. In my bed. Right now. In my t-shirt. Relaxed and in a beautiful dream-like cloud. Dreams.. What had happened last night? I vaguely remember getting home and being locked out.
Reaching backwards for my phone on my bedside table to my right to check messages, I remembered why my hand fell short. "fuck" I whispered, resting my head in my hand. "I called up to the store. You were still under warranty so they'll replace it for free if you bring it in today. It's on the kitchen counter." she mused, flipping the page. I still couldn't pinpoint why she was here… and so scantily clad. I could see the beautiful curve of her hips as the duvet hid her perfect skin from my view. Had we done anything last night? I smelled the bed as subtly as possible and it didn't smell like sex.. or any other bodily aromas.. so I guess nothing happened. Closing the book, she crawled over to me then, bringing her arms to her chest and curling her head under my chin.
Her smell was simply intoxicating. And my normal morning situation was now painfully evident seeing as though she was pressed against me, her soft legs touching mine and her breast pushing through the soft cotton of my shirt to brush my skin. One of her feet slowly moved against the top of mine, tickling me gently with her toes. "What made you stay." I whispered, not wanting to speak to loudly and break this hazy dream we were in. The small sliver of light that crept from beneath the curtains allowed me to see the shadows moving gently across her hair as I breathed. "You admitted that you loved me. And that was all i needed. Because I love you, too." she whispered, her breath warm on my collar bone. I had been gently twirling a strand of her hair between my claws when I froze. I sat there, slack jawed at this information. I had seriously been so shnockered that I confessed my love to Kagome fucking Higurashi.
I stammered, my usual quick wit was failing me as i grasped at strings. Kagome leaned back and caught my eyes with hers, her deep brown irises lit up as her face slowly morphed into a heart stopping smile. "It's okay, Inuyasha. I know you actually meant it. And I know that you probably wouldn't have told me if you hadn't drained Hatchi of his spirits." she chuckled, her bangs tickling my nose as she lowered her face gently. A question exploding from my lips before I could reign in my words. "What did you do with Koga last night." My chest rumbled at the thought. Of course I couldn't muster a fucking word when she mentioned my word vomit last night but I could sure as hell put my foot in my mouth and accuse her of shit. She shook her head, a small and apologetic smile on her face. " I canceled. I saw the demon and knew there was something going on with you and I knew you needed me more that Koga needed me to stroke his ego. He's lucky you didn't kill him, Inuyasha. I was honestly terrified you would rip out his throat. Your fangs were so long and you kept snapping your jaws as you hit him." She paused and closed her eyes at the memory, continuing softly, " I came here and looked for you but you weren't home. So I went to the library because I know you go there sometimes when you need a minute. Then I went to the park. You weren't in the trees. So by the time i was headed to go check the bar, Miroku called and said you ran off. Then i got a weird call from you but you just cursed and hung up. So I figured I'd come back here and wait for you, i found your phone on the ground and took the stairs and there you were.. mumbling to yourself about a book collection. You were on 'Mraid Zima 1943'"
So I was listing the Melvin Collection.. by the looks of it I had been there for a hot minute because there were 184 books between 1833 and 1976. "The Winter" I sighed, quoting the English translation of the Russian script. "I thought it was a guys name." she shrugged, her left hand drawing lazy circles on my arm. "Nah. Every book has a weird ass title. Most don't even go with the theme of the book. It's a Russian author whose works were continued by his estranged son after his death. Melvin Delvozichek and Jr. If you will. " I recited, by compete memory. They often made me do the Show and Tell when schools would come. Even though they knew I hated people and crowds. Sometimes I wonder why I still work there. "You sure do know a lot about books.. and your memory is amazing of you can recall an entire collection by name in Russian, Japanese and English." She sighed, smiling lightly.
It was strange that it wasn't strange to be so comfortable with her right now. I suspect it had to do with the years of close friendship we had shared that built to this moment. To be so relaxed even though i had made a complete ass of myself last night and she had had to baby me. She did this to me though. She made me relax. Everything about her calmed the demon inside of me. And she didn't want me to change, either. Sometimes hanyou or youkai wore charms to look more human. Some didn't like their ears or skin or face so they changed it temporarily with enchantments. She didn't want me to do that, unlike my ex. Kikyo only really liked me on my human nights. She told me often that once she graduated and could have a normal life outside of medical school, that we could get married and afford a blood concealment charm. And back then I believed her. I wanted that only because she was the first girl to show me attention and I was a self loathing idiot. So I agreed.
"Where are you?" Kagome asked, pulling me from my thoughts gently. She stroked the short forelocks that hung on either side of my face as she searched with her weak human eyes for my features to betray me. I sighed heavily and flopped onto my back,bouncing a bit as the covers came only to my navel and exposed me to the cool breeze of my fan. "Honestly?" I asked, suddenly becoming tired again with the weight of my thoughts. "Yeah.." she whispered, laying herself over me like a blanket and playing with a strand of my hair again. The soft tugging was comforting to my mind. I let out a gentle rumble in content before i relented, "I was thinking about my ex." I sighed, scrubbing my hand down my face. I felt her stiffen and smelled the instant twang of her anxiety at me mentioning Kikyo. Kagome had known of my one and only girlfriend but had arrived in my life close to six months after the incident. " NOT like that. Please don't take it like that." I quickly covered, shaking my head, "I mean how different you are from her… in the best ways." It was easier to talk with my eyes closed. I heaved another sigh and continued my thought before she could assume the worst. "She hated that I was mixed. She only liked my human side. I was going to marry her, you know. But only because she made me think that was love. I'd always had issues with people accepting me so when she didn't hate me and seemed to love my human part.. I figured that since she gave me the time of day that I ought to take it, you know. Like, when would I get that opportunity again."
I sighed again, bracing for the memory to come rushing back to me. "Then some shit went down. There was a guy who had a thing for her. He lied and told her I was at some party when I was actually held up at work.. back then I worked construction.. so she got pissed. She kept calling and calling. A buddy I was working with told me that same night that she had been getting with some guy named Onigumo behind my back. That Onigumo had told him he had been seeing her for a while. So I'm pissed. I get off of work, check my cell and see she's called me like 10 times. I listen to the voice-mails and she thinks I'm whoring around at some party. So I call her, right. I'm furious. She answers and she's looking for me at this party. I tell her to meet me halfway at this park because I was too pissed to talk on the phone. So I get my bike and ride down there. Nothing. She's nowhere. I wait for 10 minutes and nothing. So I take the route to the party she had been at. About 5 minutes down the road, I take this turn and I see her car overturned in a ditch. I flip out. I'm screaming, I lifted the car about found her hanging halfway out of the windshield. So I manage to get her out with one arm and put the car back. There's blood everywhere. It was the only thing I could smell. Not the gas, not the oil pouring from the engine. But her blood. She has this huge gash from the center of her chest across her right shoulder. And it goes just about all the way through. I called an ambulance but it didn't matter. She bled out in my arms leaning against that tree. There is a huge scar on the tree now from the impact. She died thinking I was cheating on her. And I thought she had been cheating on me. I found out later it was all Onigumo because he had a thing for her. He set us against each other. She would have been a great wife… for someone else. Even if I would have bought a blood concealment charm and married her.. I would have been miserable. I would have been lying to myself, you know? " I sighed again, raking my nails across my scalp.
Bringing up Kikyo to anyone always exhausted me and made my youki stir in anxiety. I held no residual feelings for her anymore. Just regret as to how things ended. I should have been there to assure her. I should have saved her. Now she was dead because of me. "Inuyasha?" Kagome's soft voice broke me from my revere; turning my head left slightly, I looked at her sideways through my bangs. "hnn" I breathed, not having enough energy to really form words now. She was looking up at me with what I can only describe as pity and heartbreak. Great. Now I've turned her against me because I was honest about my fucking emotions for once. "I'm so sorry that happened to you." she continued, her beautiful chocolate eyes swimming in unshed tears. The smell of their salt made my nose burn. I sighed and turned toward her, pulling her toward my chest, tucking her head under my chin so I didn't have to look at her pain. "I'm over it now. Neither of us were to blame." I turned my face down to her midnight hair, breathing in her clean scent of flowers and sunshine. It was thickly laced with dissension as she seemed to be battling a thought. I knew what this meant. I wasn't as simple and brutish as people thought. "I understand if I'm too fucked up for you, Kagome. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I won't treat you any different than normal if you choose not to stick around my sorry ass." I breathed, my eyes were squeezed shut. Those words tore through me harder than any punch I've ever taken.
But I couldn't hurt her any more. I had to let her know I wasn't going to hold her down. I felt a gentle push against my chest, looking down I took in her face, her subtle features. The small scar on her chin from a bike accident when she was 7. The thick eyelashes that hung heavy on her lids. Those lips that, until last night I had been too chicken shit to kiss. And hell, she made the first move then. "Inuyasha" she whispered, making my eyes go back to hers. "Inuyasha, I love you just the way you are. I love you even though you've had it hard. What happened before, with Kikyo, that sucks. But I still love you and the baggage you bring. I love you as a half demon. And nothing you can do will change that." I was shocked. Speechless even. How could someone love me this much? I was rude, rough, an ass hole, I drank too much and I fight people whenever I can. I cuss, my diet is shit, I don't like things most people like and last but not least.. i'm a half breed. I'm not anything. I'm worthless in both worlds. Feared by humans, and worthless to demons. All I could do was embrace her, careful not to crush her with my strength. I propped us up on my left elbow as i caressed the back of her neck. Taking in a deep breath, I let her scent wash over my brain like waves on a rocky shore. Like fresh spring wild flowers and crisp sunshine. I could be on the edge of oblivion, my demon ready to rip me into pieces, and her scent could still my rocking world. Grabbing a handful of her midnight black hair, I pulled her even closer. "Thank you" i whispered, my voice catching for a moment. I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek to her soft tresses. I felt her move against me for the moment, pulling away. I allowed her a modicum of slack. Kagome looked up at me again, a broad smile pulling those lips of hers toward her ears and making her gentle almond shaped eyes pinch at the edges.
"If we want to make it to the phone place by closing, we have to leave soon" she chuckled. I craned my neck and looked at the clock on the far wall. 2:47pm. She was right. I sighed. I hated when she was right. Releasing her quickly, I flopped back onto my back, arms spread wide. "You slay me, woman." I smiled, sighing before dragging my ass out of bed. I heard her chuckle behind me as i stretched facing away. "What?!" I growled, slightly annoyed. "I just.. like my view." she smiled again, resting her chin in her hand. She looked like a goddess in those taupe covers, making me have mischievous thoughts. Giving her a wicked grin of my own, I flexed the muscles in my butt and thighs, making them jump in my boxer briefs. Suddenly, a new smell hit my nose. A new, spicy addition to Kagome's floral scent. What was this.. I'd smelled is briefly a few times before but it was gone before I could identify. Now I could sort through it.. and it made me smile a toothy grin. She liked what she saw a little TOO much. Giving her a predatory growl, I turned quickly and pounced on top of her. Pinning her shoulders to the bed with my large hands and straddling her delicious hips. Capturing her mouth in a ravenous kiss, I took away her breath. "Th-the phone" she breathed, when allowed to move. I ravished her neck as her strangled words-breath tickled the tiny sensitive hairs in my ears as she panted. "Fuck the phone." I growled, grabbing the edge of the borrowed shirt she wore and pushing it upwards. I could not and would not deny my feelings for her a moment longer. "Or better yet…" she giggled, bringing her hands to tangle in my hair as she brought my head back to her face and seductively licked the rim of my ear, causing a flash of lightening to heat my veins as the vixen beneath me raised her hips to gently roll against mine. Ohhhhhhh. Oh I liked where this was going. All of a sudden it looked to me like our evening had just received a makeover. Human night or not. And I was going to savor every perfect minute.