TITLE: The Wrong Universe
AUTHOR: Talepiece
RATING: PG
PAIRING: (not intentionally)
FICATHON: Written for Tenzo's DW Fic Bingo on LiveJournal

NOTES: I had a Multi-Era bingo card and went with Rose-Vervoids-quantified-Autons-Romana.

Some days were bad. Some days were weird. And some days were both. Badly weird or weirdly bad? Rose wasn't sure but today was definitely one or the other. She considered it some more as she carefully stepped through the burning foliage and melting plastic that was scattered all around her. She threw the rapidly cooling flamethrower over her shoulder, taking delicate steps until she reached clear space.

Things at Torchwood were always a bit weird, it didn't really matter which universe you called home. So a short, blonde woman claiming to be a Time Lord wasn't that much of a stretch. Unfortunately, Gregory had just left to scale some mountain or other. He was doing a lot of that sort of thing at the moment; challenging his "oh-so-human" body. Rose was getting oh-so-tired of it. Anyway, he wasn't there but this short, blonde woman seemed to know an awful lot about him. Well, not Gregory but the Doctor...from the other universe.

'You're saying I finally make it back from E-Space and I stumble in to the wrong universe?'

'E-Space?' Rose studied the woman, 'You got back on your own?'

'Well, I had a bit of help at the other end. Poor old K9,' she said.

'You have a K9 too? How many of those things are there?'

'You know about K9?'

'I've met one. He belongs to Sarah Jane Smith. Don't really see the point but the Doctor -'

'The Doctor? You know the Doctor?'

'Two of them and,' Rose hesitated, 'a half.'

'A half a Doctor?'

Now the woman was looking at Rose the way Rose that had been looking at her. Rose didn't like it much. This whole thing was getting out of hand. But, then, what did she expect? This woman had just appeared, tumbling out of the Rift with a pout at having her clothes singed. Who the hell was she?'

'Listen, just who are you?'

'Romanadvoratrelundar.'

Rose fought down her grin. The woman didn't bother to suppress her scowl.

'Oh...great,' Rose squeaked.

'But people usually call me Romana.'

'Oh, great,' Rose repeated in a more upbeat tone, 'Well, Romana, I'm Rose Tyler. Welcome to Torchwood.'

'What is this place?'

'Oh, you know, above the law-beyond the military. Or is it the other way around? Anyway,' Rose shook it off, 'this is Earth but probably not the Earth you're looking for, based on these readings.'

Rose handed over a sheaf of papers and a handheld device that Romana eyed suspiciously. She muttered something un-Time-Ladylike and flicked through the papers.

While she read, Rose asked, 'So you're a former companion too?'

'No, a Time Lord.'

'A...Time...oh.'

But Romana wasn't taking any notice of Rose's disbelieving stare. She was too intent on the papers in front of her. She glanced up finally and said, 'Any chance I could get back to -'

She didn't have time to finish. The klaxons were blaring, lights flashing, people rushing around. All completely unnecessary, as Rose had pointed out many times, but Torchwood personnel seemed to like it. Rose slowly lifted herself from the seat, smiling down at Romana who was looking around them in surprise. Rose shrugged, turning to go and throwing, 'Come on,' over her shoulder.

Rose had picked her way to the edge of the destruction now. She propped herself up against a Land Rover and looked back the way she'd come. God, what a mess. It stank too. This was going to take some explaining - like everything else in her professional life. And quite a lot of her personal life too. There was a noise off to the right and she glanced round to see Romana making her own, careful way to Rose's side. They stood in silence for a while, eyes wondering over what had been a pleasant little park less than three hours ago.

'You know, you never did tell me about this half a Doctor?'

'Gregory.'

Romana turned to stare at her, 'Gregory?'

'My half Doctor. Mid-regeneration-half-human-meta-crisis-Time-Lord-type-person. Thingy,' Rose added as if it would make it clearer.

'How many hearts?' Romana said after very a long pause.

'Only the one. He's off testing it out now; climbing mountains.'

'Mountains. I see.'

'Wish I did,' Rose grumped.

She barely saw the carnage around her but she just couldn't ignore that stench. She'd got a whiff of that smell first when this whole thing had kicked off. The klaxons were still deafening everyone when she and Romana jogged in to the Control Room. No Jack Harkness here but a good team and better funded thanks to her father. Rose checked the displays and saw the trajectory of whatever it was that was on a direct course for Earth. England, of course; so much more welcoming to invading aliens than the US. There had been the usual discussions, arguments, orders, countermands but eventually Rose was in the Land Rover. Romana too. Funny how Time Lords always managed to get themselves invited.

Their target location was an isolated farm but they were too late. Rose bent down to study the shattered rock. She reached out to pick up one piece and had to juggle the still-burning fragment.

'That would be warm,' Romana said from behind her.

'How did you guess?'

Romana squatted down beside her and studied the rocks. Some still glowed faintly, some hissed and whistled as they cooled. She reached out to jab at a nearby piece with her fingernail. It rocked and fell, exposing the inside. A smooth, hollow interior. Rose leaned forward, resting on her knees as she considered it.

'That's not natural.'

'Far from it,' Romana said.

'Do you know what it is?'

Romana considered for a moment before she stood up and surveyed the field. She swept back the hair that had fallen around her face. Rose waited, recognising an expression that the Doctor was prone to. Romana knew. At least, she had a fair idea. And it wasn't good. As she waited, Rose ducked down again, her face coming close to the rock. She could feel the heat on her skin. There was something else. She sniffed, her nose almost touching the fragment.

'And what is that?'

Romana looked down now, her brow wrinkling as she saw Rose with her face inside the rock.

'What are you doing?'

'It stinks,' Rose said with feeling.

'Stinks?'

'Yeah. It smells bad,' Rose explained.

'I know what stinks means,' Romana rolled her eyes. She dropped down beside Rose again and leaned over the upturned rock. She pulled her head back quickly, 'It stinks.'

'I know, I just said that.'

'It shouldn't.'

'Shouldn't stink?'

'Shouldn't smell at all; Autons don't have a scent.'

'Autons,' Rose was standing up before Romana registered her movement, 'You're sure?'

'You know them?'

'My first time with aliens. And with the Doctor. And, no,' Rose said, her voice more thoughtful, 'the only thing they smell of is plastic. What the hell stinks like that?'

'Vervoids,' Romana said simply, 'but why would Vervoids be using Nestene transportation? Or,' Romana stood too, her expression serious, 'why would the Nestene be transporting Vervoids?'

Rose leaned back on the Land Rover, pulling herself back from the memories and tilting her head to study Romana again. She was definitely a Time Lord, there really was no doubt in Rose's mind. And a companion too, Rose was sure. You just got a sense for these things. Rose sighed. The baby Tardis was growing. Torchwood One had it in a lab, bubbling away in a vat that probably stank even more than this place. Rose had dropped in to look at it the last time she was in Scotland but hadn't been allowed beyond the shatter-proof glass that separated observation room from lab. Gregory had refused to see it at all. He didn't seem interested. Seemed almost... Rose shrugged. Maybe Romana would be more interested? Maybe she could find some way to get back to the real universe. Other universe, Rose corrected herself sternly - this universe was real too.

'Are you all right?' Rose jumped at the quietly spoken words and Romana continued in the same tone, 'It's just that you've got a death grip on the bonnet of this vehicle. You may actually be denting the thing, you're certainly ruining the paintwork. Anything you'd like to talk about?'

'We have a Tardis,' Rose blurted out. Romana raised a brow, just a hint of excitement showing through the veneer of calm disinterest. Rose shrugged again, 'The Doctor - the real one - gave us a piece of coral before he left. I'm still not sure what he expected us to do with it. A souvenir maybe. Torchwood One has it in the lab. It's...growing. Gestating? Anyway, it's there. How long does it take to grow a Tardis?'

Romana looked out at the park again but her eyes saw nothing. She shrugged, coming back to herself with a quirk of her lips, 'I have no idea.'

'You must have some idea,' Rose said and it sounded just a little bit desperate, 'How long did it used to take?'

'Used to?'

And Rose suddenly realised that Romana didn't know about the fate of the Time Lords. She had no idea about the loss of her entire planet, all of her people. Damn the Doctor. Well, Rose wasn't going to get in to this now; it was already too bloody complicated. Rose threw her hands up, the weapon over her shoulder clattering against the Land Rover's bonnet.

'Forget it, forget all of it. Let's just get back and make sure the rest of the clean up operation has gone OK. Mass spraying of weedkiller - the PM's going to love that. At least Dad owns the company that makes the stuff; this'll be good for the stock price.'

Weedkiller wasn't usually the first defensive option Rose considered. Still, sometimes you had to improvise. She and Romana had left a small Torchwood team gathering up the meteorite fragments in to biohaz containers. Rose and Romana had taken another, more heavily armed UNIT team with them. Off to hunt for Vervoids.

'So what exactly are Vervoids?'

'Essentially?' Romana waited for Rose's nod to continue, 'They're giant, walking plant-people.'

Rose blinked at her, glad that she wasn't driving this time; that description might have run them off the road.

'Giant, walking -'

'Plant-people, yes.'

'Right,' Rose dragged out the word, 'How do we stop them?'

'Weedkiller?' Romana flashed Rose a grin but it didn't seem to help the situation. 'Or, perhaps, high-intensity lights to over-stimulate their growth? They have relatively short lifespans. Oh,' Romana said, a look of comprehension crossing her face, 'oh, that's quite clever really.'

'Clever?'

'The Nestene have long wanted this planet? But they've always failed - largely thanks to the Doctor, I suspect. So they need a secret weapon. What better than murderous plants that can take root, so to speak, and kill off the indigenous population.'

'You mean us,' Rose said.

'Actually, I meant you.'

'You didn't mention murderous when you told me about these Vervoids,' Rose pointed out.

'Sorry.' She didn't sound sorry at all. 'But a flash of blinding light from above would wipe out the Vervoids when their job was done.'

'I suppose that is clever,' Rose said, 'So we need a really bright light?'

'Or a nuclear explosion.'

This wasn't getting any better. Just like the Doctor too; start with the little stuff and work your way up to a nuclear holocaust. Rose found herself saying, 'Of what magnitude?' and realised how far she'd come from that innocent shop girl.

'Difficult to quantify. There are quite a lot of variables.'

'I don't really care about quantified right now; I'm more worried about the giant and murderous walking plant-men.'

Romana stared at her, 'Yes, well, I rather like quantified. I've always liked quantified. Particularly when it relates to thermonuclear detonations.'

Perhaps she'd strayed a little bit too far from that innocent shop girl if nuclear weaponry was beginning to seem like an acceptable solution. Rose scrubbed at her face with her hands. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and peeked out through her fingers. Romana smiled at her and Rose found herself smiling back. OK, maybe this woman was a bit bossy and a bit pouty at times too - just like the Doctor - but she did seem to care about the situation. As she should, Rose reminded herself, since - whatever Romana had said about the indigenous population - Rose didn't think these Vervoids would be too picky about who they killed off.

'I'll talk to HQ,' Rose said, already reaching for her phone, 'and see what they can do.'

The rest of the afternoon had been spent chasing sightings and weird stories in the area. It wasn't difficult to spot the Vervoids' path when they came across it; lots of dead bodies, all of them carefully set aside for later. Rose didn't know what would happen later but she couldn't shake off the memory of her Grandfather's allotment and the little compost heap behind the shed. Shepherding Vervoids turned out to be much like herding cats but somehow they had closed in on the huge, multi-coloured plants and forced them in to the park of a small town. Torchwood had already evacuated the place but HQ had decided against the nuclear option.

Instead, they were waiting for a container of flamethrowers to be parachuted in. It landed nearby with an earth-shaking thunk. There was the long, drawn out sound of falling masonry and Rose winced. She waved the recovery team away and waited for them to return, accepting one of the large weapons with a grim expression. One was offered to Romana and, to Rose's surprise, she accepted it. Rose didn't have time to comment, her men were ready and she raised her arm to send them in.

And the sky opened up again. Huge chunks of rock flared in the sky above, tumbling from the clouds and hurtling towards them. Romana shouted for the men to get back, dragging Rose by the collar until they were well clear. Four meteorites, all crashing to the earth within a hundred yards of each other. Rose yelled at her men to stay back. She could barely be heard over the terrified gibbering of the Vervoids as they cowed in whatever shelter they could find.

The meteorites broke on impact, not shattering at all but opening out. The fragments set the grass around them alight, the rock fizzing and smoking in the cool air. Something stirred within. It unfolded itself, not pouring out but not climbing out either, coalescing in to a shape that Rose recognised all to well. Even part-formed Autons were a threat. What would become their hands were already raising, the guns within complete and aiming at her men. Here to protect their frontline troops, she realised.

'Plastic melts, right? Especially when it's not set,' Rose said to no-one. She stood up, charging forward, screaming at her men, 'Now!'

It was chaos. Burning hot chaos. Seemingly endless little infernos. The air was choking, thick with the stench that quickly filled the park. There was the shrieking of the Vervoids; the shouts of her men; the bubbling of plastic flesh that had yet to fully form. But it was over more quickly than Rose had expected. The smoking ground was littered with rock fragments, burning foliage and shapeless chunks of plastic. Three men were down, one obviously dead. The other two were being attended by field medics. Rose carefully stepped through the detritus of their battle.

She fidgeted against the Land Rover again, her hands still threatening the paintwork. They hadn't moved. She couldn't not tell Romana; the woman deserved to know the truth. She just didn't know how to do it.

'I'm sorry,' Rose said eventually, 'I'm so sorry.'

'Sorry about what?' Romana said, picking up on Rose's anxiety.

'The Time Lords, they're all gone. There was a war, between the Time Lords and the Daleks. It all kicked off and the Doctor was the only survivor. At least, he thought he was.' Romana closed her eyes, her head tilting until her chin was on her chest. Rose watched her carefully. 'I'm so sorry,' she said again.

'Nothing left?'

'Not that I know of. At least, that was true in the other universe; no idea about this one. A Tardis might come in handy to find out.'

'Do you think your Torchwood would just hand it over to me?'

'Probably not, ' Rose allowed, 'but there's always a way, yeah?'

'So the Doctor told me...more than once.'

'Me too.'

'What about this half-Doctor of yours?' Rose shrugged but said nothing. Romana looked up again, her hand returning to Rose's shoulder. 'Come on,' she managed a weak smile, 'this place really does reek. Let's find Gregory and see where we can go from there.'