Flawless
A/N: This one is a short and simple one-shot. I got the idea the other night while trying to continue my otter fic. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
When all else fails, I turn away from everything, everything that should have meant anything to me. I turn away from my people, my past, my training… Everything I know, I sacrifice, because I feel my back against the wall. When there's pressure on both sides, I can't run, I can't even hide from it. It is always there, holding me down. What else can I do?
A single glance, one full of tired frustration or sometimes understanding, it is enough to put my mind at ease, even if it is just for a short time. I want these moments, I need them, more than you know, but how can I express that? I'm working to save one world and destroy another. I'm completely conflicted, and even when the words are right on the verge of leaving my lips, I can't speak them. I can't tell you anything; I'm supposed to be at war with you…
But tonight I am at war with no one. Feeling nothing but the circulated air in this room, I want nothing more than to give in, to leave the war at the door. I want to feel again, to feel someone against me, to not bother with the cold feeling of being alone. I can't stand coming back to this body with nothing to live for. I do it every day when I leave my avatar body. I want something worth living for, and tonight I think I've found it. Even though we were supposed to combat each other, to use each others' weaknesses against each other, I found that I can't anymore. I've done enough damage. I want to attempt to repair what I have broken.
The feel of your skin, the sound of your voice, the familiarity of a pair of arms around my body, I forget all that I came here for, even if it was only for the night. I hold you tighter, wishing for this moment to simply go on and on, but I know that it has to end. I forget my inabilities, my anger, and my fear. I remember years past, when I wasn't broken, when I was once whole. Growing bitter through time, I lost all interest in being close to anyone, knowing that those you get close to only get hurt in the end. I let that go tonight.
I feel a strength that isn't mine. Even when I only feel your eyes on me, I am unstoppable. I can't deny myself these feelings, having dealt with nothing but shit over the past years. I pray for a peaceful day, one that isn't torn apart by war and greed. Even when there isn't a war outside, there is always one within me. Normally torn, shattered, with pieces twisted and missing, but tonight, while I am here, I am whole, strong, right now, I am flawless.