Do Tell, Dearest Lupin

Update: I have revised this chapter. After much consideration, I decided to listen to those that were sad the story was a one-shot and will be making this a three part story. As such, I decided to rewrite this chapter as it was rather amateurish and I felt it was a bit rushed. So, if you read it before, you may want to reread it again before continuing on to the second chapter, but the gist is the same if you're pressed for time. ;)

Surprisingly, I do not own Harry Potter.

It was a beautiful day in late spring at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The weather was beginning to warm up, hinting at the promised summer heat. There was still a healthy breeze that beckoned the students to come outside on this Saturday afternoon. The grounds quickly filled with laughter, gleeful screams, and chatter, as almost every student took advantage of the perfect weather.

Only the most studious of teenagers would be caught inside on a day like this. It came as a surprise to none, however, that the fourteen-year-old Remus Lupin chose to be cooped up in the school's library, a precarious pile of textbooks, scrolls, and inkwells covering the desk where he worked.

Year 672: War between Black Toe Goblin Tribe and Codswallop Goblin Tribe - Led by Captain Tort the Stout and Chief Bogwater – Lasted three weeks – Black Toe Goblin Tribe won; Year 673: War between Red Soot Goblin Tribe and Yellow Sand Goblin Tribe – Led by Colonel Palloptinai and Captain Shi the Shy – Lasted 17 months – Ended in a complete massacre.

A frustrated groan escaped Remus' lips as he rested his head into his hands, rubbing at his temples in exhaustion. His amber eyes fluttered closed as he tried to refocus his energy on the incredibly boring assignment that sat in front of him. 'Goblin Wars has to be the most useless and grueling subject to learn.'

Remus loved learning, he really did, but this assignment was simply beyond brutal. Ruffling through the notes that had been written in his careful script, he saw that he had already completely filled four scrolls and was nearing his fifth, and Remus still had another forty-two years to cover for their end-of-year assignment.

How did Professor Binns expect the students to memorize all of these pointless wars? Why did it even matter in the slightest which tribe won anyway? Did it make a bit of difference in the wizarding community if Pogma the Podgy was wrongly accused of abducting Chief Yanco's son in year 592 resulting in the bloody battle between the Bumble Goblins and Horn-Tail Goblins for three nights before Chief Yanco's son was discovered having fallen into a well by no one's fault but his own?

Yet for some clearly masochistic reason, Professor Binns instructed the third year class that they were to recite all the wars from year 587 to year 715 in front of the class in order to pass the semester with perfect marks. What kind of sadistic teacher would inflict this torture on their poor students? It was completely cruel and unjust punishment in Remus' opinion.

"Hey Remus," a friendly voice broke through his mental gripings, forcing a polite smile to immediately replace his frown.

He looked up to see a head of ginger hair with bright green eyes peeking over the mountain of books he had piled in front of him as Lily Evans sauntered over. An excuse to stop studying for a few minutes was exactly what he needed at the moment, and his polite smile easily grew into a more welcoming one. "Good afternoon, Lily. Please, have a seat."

A tinkling laugh escaped her lips, "Why do you always act so medieval?" She pulled out the chair to his left and sat down beside him. Upon seeing the confused expression on his face, she explained, "No one says, 'please, have a seat', anymore."

Remus shrugged in indifference. It mattered little to him that people seemed to enjoy forgetting manners. "Such a shame, that. It is truly a fun phrase to say. You should try it sometime."

Lily giggled again before donning a more serious expression, clasping her hands together on top of the wooden table. "So, I actually came to this secluded section of the library for a specific reason."

He rose an eyebrow in interest. "Oh?"

"You see, when I didn't see you out by the lake with your friends, I knew I would find you here."

When Remus didn't reply, Lily leaned in close, her almond-shaped eyes intense.

"There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. Alone."

Remus inched back a little, his expression skeptical. "You're not coming on to me Lily, are you?"

Her brows furrowed in confusion. "What? No! No, I – of course not!" She shook her head, trying to refocus her mind on the issue at hand. " I mean, it's something else. I've discovered something, Mr. Lupin," she said in a more serious tone.

There was a long pause and, when Lily didn't show any signs of continuing, Remus decided it best to satisfy her with a response. "What is it that you discovered, Miss Evans?" he asked, imitating her tone.

Before elaborating, she looked around the library carefully to ensure no one was eavesdropping. He watched with mild amusement, wondering what could possibly be so scandalous that no one was allowed to hear. This was Lily after all, and everyone knew Lily did not gossip, let alone do anything for that matter that could be considered 'frowned upon'.

She looked up at him with suddenly very sharp eyes. "I know," she said in barely more than a whisper.

Remus breathed a laugh. "Know what?" he asked, not bothering to lower his voice as she had done.

"No, you weren't listening."

He rose an eyebrow.

"I know." She glanced over her shoulder again before locking her emerald eyes back on his amber ones. "I know your secret."

Remus' gaze instinctively hardened. There was only one thing he could think of that she meant, but certainly that couldn't be the case. He forced himself to relax. Most likely Lily was talking about something else or had misunderstood a situation. There was no way she had discovered his secret; he had been so careful with hiding it.

"I know you've been careful to not let anyone find out-"

Remus froze mid-thought, his eyes widening marginally as his breath caught in his throat.

"-and I really didn't mean to pry into your personal affairs, but I just sort of noticed. I mean, if you pay attention to the way you act sometimes, it's kind of obvious."

He could feel the blood slowly drain from his face and was certain he was beginning to resemble a ghost. Lily had discovered what he is, and she was going to report him, and he would be executed. He had thought she was his friend, but it was clear from her expression she was nervous. Was it nerves though, or was it fear? It had to be fear. Only someone stupidly brave like James or Sirius would be able to look at a werewolf and not be afraid.

"You get so irritable and snippy sometimes without any obvious stimulation, and then there's those days when you won't eat a scrap of food all day, but other times you gorge excessively like an insatiable dog that was given free-reign at a buffet."

Remus examined Lily closely, wishing now more than ever that he could read minds. He wanted so desperately to know what she was thinking. Maybe he was being irrational thinking she would want him executed? She was usually a sweet person and, if that was her plan, why would she intentionally approach him in a mostly abandoned library? Unless she wanted to commit the deed herself?

"And then you make those monthly visits to your 'sick mother' which you always come back from looking sick yourself."

"Lily-," he started, his voice straining against the will to break. He hoped so desperately that maybe, just maybe, she could look past this. Lily was the first real friend he had made, and the thought of her being afraid of him was just too terrible to even comprehend.

She shook her head, setting a hand on top of Remus' reassuringly. "Remus, it's okay. I'm alright with it."

Remus' jaw dropped, eyes bulging as he gaped at her in a most unattractive manner. Certainly he hadn't heard Lily correctly. As sweet of a person as she was, how could she be willing to so easily look past Remus turning into a blood-thirsty beast once a month? "You are?"

"Of course! You're my friend, Remus," Lily replied, beaming at the boy. "I'll accept you no matter what."

Remus let out a huge breath he didn't even know he had been holding. "Lily, I – thank you."

In hindsight, he supposed he should have expected no less from her. She truly was the most kind-hearted and intellectually sound girl he knew. Even if she was worried about his condition, she certainly would have done her research and would be well aware that he isn't dangerous on a day-to-day basis.

"I am sorry I pried into your personal life. I just couldn't help but notice, you know?" She smiled sheepishly, and a soft blush bloomed along her cheekbones.

Remus shook his head dismissively. "You won't tell anyone, right? Please keep this between us Lily."

"Of course I won't tell anyone!" she exclaimed as if the thought itself was scandalous, placing a hand over her heart in an affronted gesture.

Remus flushed in response, berating himself for doubting her discretion. He did know Lily well enough to know she would never spread rumors around, especially something as damning as him being a werewolf.

Lily gazed at him with concern heavy in her eyes. "I mean, it's bad enough to be outed in the muggle world, and, from what I've read, it's far worse in the wizarding world. There's even several accounts of people being killed for it."

Remus nodded solemnly, "Yes, that is true-" He cocked his head to the side as he processed her words. "Wait – muggles know about what I am?"

"Well, yeah," she laughed as if it was the most ridiculous question ever. "They aren't completely arrogant, you know!"

"Oh," he said, his voice thick with confusion. "I just thought that muggles would assume we were fantasy or folklore or something. You know, like unicorns."

A most unladylike snort came from Lily as she tried to cover up her laugh. "People from magical families think the silliest things." She shook her head in amusement, a kind smile settling on her face. "So, does anyone else know about you?"

Remus nodded his head, chewing on his bottom lip. It was a weird sensation talking so openly about this with someone that wasn't either a marauder or his parents. "Yes, but only a few people."

"Who, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, there's my parents."

"Really? And they're alright with it?" Lily's expression held an odd mixture of surprise and relief.

"Yes. I – I know my mother is accepting. My dad - he struggles - but he doesn't hate me for it at least. That's more than can be said for most people like me. They're usually disowned or worse."

She nodded sagely, a fleck of darkness entering her eyes. "Well, I'm glad you're parents are supportive. Is there anyone else? Anyone here at school I mean?"

"Well, I know that Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall know for sure. Then there's Madame Pomphrey as well, of course." Remus noticed confusion beginning to settle into Lily's expression. "I do not know if any of the other teachers know, but James, Sirius, and Peter found out about me last year."

"Wait a minute," Lily said, holding her hand up. "Black knows about you?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "Well of course he knows. He's my best friend."

"And he's fine with it?"

"Yeah. I mean, he was surprised at first, of course, but he was accepting after James talked him around."

"So Black knows you fancy him?"

"Well, yeah – wait – what?!" Remus froze, his eyes wide for the second time this afternoon. "What about me fancying Sirius?"

"You just said that Black knows you fancy him."

"When did I say that?" He was completely dumbfounded. How did Lily discovering his lycanthropy suddenly turn into him being a poofter crushing on his best friend?

"Just now. I asked you who knew about you, and you said that Black knows."

"Wait – so you think I am smitten with Sirius?"

Lily stared at Remus with an expression that screamed bafflement. "Well, yeah. You're always watching him, blushing when he touches your shoulder, and going to him for advice. Whenever he flirts with a girl across the room, you'll run off, and you always get so snippy when you see him snogging someone. Then every time he decides that some lucky girl is his 'next real girlfriend', you practically starve yourself, refusing to eat anything on your plate. If he gets injured doing some stupid stunt on the Quidditch pitch, you get so worried you completely gorge yourself with all the chocolate and other sweets you can get your hands on, even going so far as to growl at anyone that tries to take the last treacle pudding. If Potter or Pettigrew invite you to join them in a game, you generally decline in favor of doing your school work, but if Black asks, you'll drop whatever you're doing without batting an eye. Your face just lights up whenever he smiles at you, and you'll practically do anything he asks you to do. I have no doubt that if you weren't interested, you wouldn't participate in all of those harebrained pranks Potter and Black come up with."

Remus flushed a spectacular shade of crimson.

"I also know that when you go off to 'visit your mother', you're really just trying to get away from Black, because those are always the nights he has one of his lady friends in your guys' dorm doing Merlin knows what with her. I mean, you're obviously smitten with Black, Remus."

Remus was beginning to wonder if it was possible to die from having blood remain in one's face for an extended period of time.

"I have to admit that I am surprised Black is so accepting of your feelings for him. I'd imagine he would harass you for fancying him, or maybe even try to take advantage of you sexually." She chewed on the side of her mouth with a thoughtful expression. "Though it does seem like he would be opposed to the idea of shagging a guy with how much he enjoys female company."

Remus shook his head, mortified by Lily's train of thought. "I do not fancy him, Lily."

She rose a delicate eyebrow. "Of course you do!"

"No Lily, I do not. I am not gay." Remus crossed his arms defiantly. He knew she was wrong in her accusations and he refused to let her manipulate him with her stupid logic.

Lily frowned. "Then why were you agreeing with me about there being such a scandalous secret? What were you so afraid of me telling everyone about?"

All the blood that had been occupying Remus' cheeks for the past three minutes immediately retreated, leaving a pale and wide-eyed face staring at the redhead in horror. Remus cursed himself for not thinking before speaking as he always prided himself on doing. Denying her conclusion would lead to speculations that, should this clever girl decide to investigate further, would lead to her discovering something far worse than suspected homosexuality.

"Well? Come on, Remus. Spill it."

The only response he could muster was a loud gulp.

"Lupin?"

She was using that tone. The tone that a mother would use when her child was misbehaving. The very same tone that Remus was certain some poor young kid down the road would be loathe to hear. It promised punishment would come swiftly if the party in question disobeyed.

"I said. Spill. It."

Slowly the blood returned to his cheeks as he realized what he needed to do. "Fine," he sighed. Remus made sure to avoid her eyes, knowing she would undoubtedly be able to read the lie in his eyes as he spoke. "You are right, Lily. I just didn't want to admit it. I fancy Sirius."

Lily beamed, pumping her right fist in the air as a soft squeak of excitement filtered through her lips. "Ha! I knew it!"

He spared a glance at her. He hated lying to Lily as she was his first friend, but this was the only way to protect his secret. He could live with her believing he was gay, knowing that she had already accepted him for that. The thought of her discovering his lycanthropy and then refusing to be his friend was too horrible for him to even consider.

"So," she started, sidling closer to Remus. "How are you planning to woo him?"

"What?"

"You're going to try to seduce him, right?"

Remus averted his gaze again, trying to keep his face a neutral shade for once this afternoon. "No, of course not."

"But why?" Her whine carried through the library despite her softer tone.

"Because he's straight, so there's no point in even trying." Logic was good. He didn't have to lie to say this much at least.

"Oh, come on. Maybe you can convince him that you'd be perfect together. He has a soft spot for you after all. Everyone knows he treats you better than anyone else."

Deciding that running from the situation was the best course of action, Remus quickly stood up, haphazardly shoving his supplies into his book bag. "I should get going. See you later, Lily."

"This isn't over, Remus-dear!" she called after him as Remus made a quick escape.

It wasn't long before Remus found himself lying on his bed in the dormitory, staring pointedly up at his canopy. The red curtains weren't particularly interesting, but he knew there was no way he could study right now. Not with that stupid redhead putting those stupid thoughts into his head. Just the thought of goblin wars caused her stupid voice echo through his mind.

'I do not fancy Sirius. That is preposterous. How could she even think such a thing?"

"Hey there, Rem. We missed you at the lake."

Remus looked towards the door to see James walking in, Sirius and Peter trailing behind. While they were all still wearing their shirts and trousers instead of swimming trunks, they were completely soaked from head to toe. Clearly the concept of towels or drying charms was lost on them.

"You really should join us next time," Sirius added as he crossed the dormitory, pulling off his drenched shirt and plopping it unceremoniously onto the floor in one soppy mess, water pooling along the stone tile. He shook his head in a rather canine gesture, his long hair smacking against his face and sending small beads of water loose upon the room.

"Yeah, the squid can be very – friendly." James waggled his eyebrows in a mock-seductive manner, causing Remus' dorm-mates to burst out laughing and Remus himself to roll his eyes.

"Does Evans know you feel that way about Squidy?" Sirius walked over and elegantly settled at the foot of Remus' bed, leaning back to prop himself up onto his elbows, head tilting to the side and a wicked grin on his face.

Remus pursed his lips as he noticed Sirius' water-logged pants seeping wetness into Remus' scarlet and gold comforter. "Sirius! Get off!" he demanded, pushing lightly against the other boys' bare torso with his left foot.

Sirius turned his head to look at Remus, his grin widening and a devious glean lighting in his eyes. "Get off? Right now? Where everyone can see me?"

Remus opened his mouth gaping like a fish out of water, his throat feeling suddenly dry. He shook his head, before scowling. "You know what I mean, Sirius. Get off of my bed. You're getting it all wet."

"But don't you like it when I'm on your bed? Everyone likes having me on their bed. And as for getting all wet -" he trailed off, his voice taking on a more flirtatious note.

Remus groaned. Sometimes he really hated how sure of himself Sirius was. It was almost impossible to have a serious conversation with him. No pun intended.

"You clearly need some enlightenment, my pompous friend. Let me show you just how nice it is having me on your bed."

Before he knew what was happening, Sirius pounced on top of Remus, wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller boy, ensuring that Remus was properly soaked before he finally rolled off and settled down next to him, that cheeky grin still plastered on his stupidly handsome face.

"Sirius!" Remus shrieked in a very unmanly manner. "Get off of my bed!"

Sirius managed a strangled shout before he found himself plopped on the floor with a sore buttocks, having been shoved violently off the bed by Remus.

Remus growled and stood up from the bed, prying open his trunk with much vigor. He pulled out a set of clean clothes and stormed to the bathroom, shooting a dark glare at his 'friends' who were currently laughing at him before slamming the door shut behind him.

Everyone knew Remus hated getting wet when he had clothes on. Clothes were meant to keep you dry, not make you wet. Additionally, it made the clothes incredibly difficult to get off when they stuck to your skin. It just wasn't proper.

Remus turned on the shower spigot to let the water warm up as he began fumbling with his now damp clothes. Once he was finally freed from his soggy-prison, he climbed into the steamy shower, intent on cleaning off the Great Lake filth that was certainly attempting to permanently imbed itself into his skin. As Remus began to lather himself with the cherry-almond scented soap his mother bought him for Christmas, he unfavorably found his mind wandering back onto Lily's suspicions.

'I do not fancy Sirius. He is a bloke and I definitely do not fancy blokes.'

'Then why did you watch him so hungrily when he pulled off his shirt? Why did your eyes linger on those well-toned muscles gracing Sirius' back? I know you enjoyed the way his long hair splayed across his face as he shook off.'

Remus flushed, cursing those evil all-knowing thoughts that suddenly arose in his mind, defending Lily's argument.

"You do not know what you are talking about," he mumbled to himself.

'Why did you get excited when Sirius landed gracefully on your bed? Leaning back like he belonged there. Why did your insides squirm with glee when he struck you with that charming grin you love so much? You enjoyed the way his skin felt when you touched him with your foot, didn't you?'

"Shut it."

'And what about when he laid on top of you? You know you enjoyed that even more. You longed for him to stay on you for just a moment longer. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, stroking his smooth skin and memorizing every inch of that tantalizing body.'

"No, I did not!" Remus was so wrapped up in arguing with himself that he didn't notice his voice rising.

'When you pushed him away, you let your fingers dance on his firm abdomen longer than you would have if it were anyone else.'

"Stop, stop, stop!" There was a click reminiscent of a door closing.

'You like it, don't you? The way those perfect hip bones just out above his trousers. That trail of delicate hair that just beckons you to look lower. You want him, Remus. Admit it.'

"No, I do not!"

'Oh, but you do. See? You are getting excited just thinking about it.'

Remus looked down horror-struck to see that those intrusive thoughts were indeed correct. He could feel his face reddening again, and he bit his lip hard.

"Y-you are wrong." He refused to accept the fact that he was smitten over his very male friend. "I do not fancy Sirius."

He sighed in relief when those evil thoughts didn't retort, and he returned to his shower, trying to ignore what was currently taking place near his lower abdomen as he rinsed off.

"Remus?"

Remus jumped, a yelp escaping his mouth, and he quickly turned to face the shower curtain.

"You doin' alright?"

He recognized the voice as Sirius' and Remus blanched. How long had he been there?

"You're talking to yourself."

Remus barely managed to stutter a response. "Y-yeah. I – I am f-fine."

"You're beginning to sound like me, mate," Sirius said with a soft chuckle. "Sure we aren't related? You clearly have some of the patented 'Black Insanity' in you."

Remus heard the door close as his friend left, and he let out a soft sigh. He really hoped Sirius didn't hear that last bit, but he'd be foolish to believe that wasn't just wishful thinking.

Word Count: 4190

So, this was just a little one-shot I had to write. I really liked the idea but it just didn't fit in with my other story and, after about two years of contemplating, I decided, "Hey, why not make a one-shot out of it?" So there you go. :) Ta-daaa!

Edit: In case you missed my earlier A/N, I am adding two more chapters. Huzzah! So you will get to see how Sirius responds after all!

Thanks for reading and please don't forget to review.
They are my hearts and sparkles and keep me wanting to write.