OK, this is my first ever fan fic, so don't send me too much hate mail!
CHAPTER 1::Kokori Forest::Links House::
Navi: Hey!
Link: ::Wakes up::Grumpy:: Shut up ::Slaps navi into the ground::
::30 miutes later::
Navi returns with a bunch of her fairy friends and proceeds to torment Link
Navi: Hey!
Link: ::Mad:: Ouch! What?
Navi: You have to go see the Great Duku Tree, right now
Link: Make me, you stupid fairy
Navi: I'll bring my friends back…
Link: OK,OK, just shut up, please!
At the enterance to the Great Deku Tree…
Mido: Hey you, so youv'e finnaly got a fairy?
Link: Yeah, a pain in the ass Fairy though. She is a bossy little b****!
Mido: Yeah well, what are you doing here?
Link: I was summoned to see the Deku Tree, so move out of the way.
Mido: What, why you? You brown nosing SOB!
Link: What the hell did you just call me?!?!?!?
Mido: Yeah, well what are you going to do about it? You don't even have a sword, unlike me::pulls out a sword that is way too big for him::
Link: AHHHHHHHHH!
Runs away
Mido: Yeah you better run!!
Link: I'll get back at that cock SOB, I'll go get a sword and then we'll see who's laughing.
A couple of hours later…(I'm too lazy to write it all out^__^)
Navi: Hey!
Link: Didn't I tell you to shut up?
Navi: Yeah, and your fun to be with to? What I want to say is that if you kill mido, all of the kokories will die, as much as you migh hate it, he is the ruler of us, so might as well let him live.
Link: Who cares, it'll be fun anyways!
Navi: You wont be able to see Saria again ::Singsong voice::
Link: D*****, that's right, I wont be able to show of my new sword to her. God I love her green hair, how I would like to…
Navi: Hey this is not a porn story (sorry guys) so get your mind out of the gutter and go see the Deku Tree, right NOW
Navi begins to glow a reddish color, horns and a tail appear, and she begins to talk like a demon
Link: AHHHHHH!!! I'm going, I'm going, don't hurt me, please
Back at the enterance…
Mido: So your back, huh, did I not scare you enough last time? (Begins to draw sword again)
Link: No(pulls out his own and points it to Midos throat)
Navi: Remember what I said earlier ::Cough::Cough:: Saria ::Hint::Hint::
Link: D*****, I remember (Flicks at Navi)
Mido ::Gulp:: Uh, the Deku Tree is uh right through here sir ::Whimper::
Link: There, now that's more like it!
Later…
Link: oh, great Deku, I bow to thy power and humbolly…
Great Deku Tree: Oh get up, I hate it when people do that, it gets so annoying ::Mock voice:: 'Great Deku this' 'Great Deku that' god, why won't any one call me by my real name?
Link: Well what is it?
G.D.T.: It's Quagmire, so from now on, call me Quagmire.
Link: Quagmire ::Snigger::Snigger:: That's a really, um, nice name ::Snigger::
Suddenly, Link bursts out laughing, while the Deku Tree shakes with anger
Q-mire: Whats so funny? Stop laughing, I'm warning you, if you continue to laugh, then I will drop a coconut on your head. (Yes there were coconuts on the Tree, hey, it's my fan fic, I can do what I want!)
Link shuts up very quickly
Link: Ok sorry Dek… I mean, ::Snort:: Quagmire ::Snort::
Elevator type music begins playing, Link yawns
Q-mire: Now let me tell you a story, a story of a young women, and an evil man. It all began lang ago, when…
Music screeches to a halt
Link: Sorry for interrupting, really am, but this sounds really long, so it therea readers digest version for this story, because I tend to fall asleep at times like this.
Q-mire: Grrrrrrrr, take that!
Coconut falls
Link: Owww #__$, What was that for?
Q-mire: Now shut up and Listen, or I'll do it again!
Link: OK,OK,just tell the D*** story.
Q-mire: As I was saying…
Several hours later…
Q-mire: So, that about sums it up, what do you think Link, will you help lift this curse off of me?
Link: ::Snore::
Navi: Hey(Boxes him on the ear) wake up!
Link: Wha? Oh yeah yeah, very interesting, now can I go, please?
Q-mire: so you won't help me?
Link: Fraid not, have fun with the reat of your life, well what ever is left of it, Quagmire ::Bursts out laughing::
Q-mire: Why you little…
A small green gem fals out of the branches
Q-mire: Nooooo, I meant to send a coconut
Link: ::Dazed:: ohh, look at the pretty rock @__*
Q-mire: No, bring that back, it's mine, mine, mine, mine!! I want it wahhhhhhh
Link comes back to reality
Link Screw you, I'm leaving this D***** place. But I have to um, say goodbye to some one, yeah, that's all, saying goodbye. See you soon Navi! Oh Saria ::Sing song voice::
Link walks off with an evil gring on his 10 year old face.
Well that the end of chapter 1, so please R&R, and don't be to harsh on me! ^;^