Sherlock
John
Friday
(2:03am)
'Hey..um listen Sarah. We have to break up. I've had a hard time thinking about this and thinking it through but i have come to the conclusion that I, am infact…...gay'
(2:04am)
Breaking up over text? I thought people thought that kind of thing was rude? -SH
(2:05am)
'SH?...Look Sarah i'm sorry, but i've had a rough time thinking this through but i'm actually just really really really really gay...i would love to still be friends,please forgive me..i know being gay isn't allowed.. I've tried so hard to stay straight'
(2:07 am)
'Sarah..?'
(2:09am)
You might want to check the number you're texting.
(2:11am)
Also, there is nothing wrong with being homosexual as If being gay is truly a choice, then people who attempt to change their orientation should be able to do so. But most people who are homosexual describe it as a deeply ingrained attraction that can't simply be shut off or redirected. For men, orientation is fixed by the time the individual reaches puberty. Homosexuality is a part of our genetics and is in our nature, it is mostly affected by our genetics and the environment we are placed in, for example many psychologists believe that the root of homosexuality is in fact in our upbringing which is an environmental effect which can influence our genes.
(2:12am)
'Oh sshiiiiitt fuck fuck fufkcufkckfuckck. I am so sorry ive texted the wrong number...dont have my glasses on….listen. You can not tell a single fucking soul that i am gay. NOT ONE SOUL OKAY…'
(2:13am)
Why would it matter if I told my non-existent friends that this mysterious person who texted me by mistake whose name I have yet to find out is gay?
(2:13am)
'John'
(2:14am)
Why are you avoiding my question John?
(2:17am)
'… And your name is..?'
(2:18am)
Sherlock Holmes
(2:23am)
John, you can't avoid my question forever. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality like I explained earlier.
(2:24am)
By the way you should probably text Sarah as she has likely messaged you about when you will meet her for a date on Saturday night, a date in which you do not intend to go to.
(7.46am)
'How the fuck did you know about my date?….are you stalking me..? Also thank you very much Mr. Holmes. I drank a little and i am in fact very straight. I will be going to my FEMALE date.'
(7:50am)
Not likely. When people get drunk they tend to loose reasoning skills and the ability to contemplate the repercussions of an action which causes them to become more honest. If you texted saying that you wished to break up with Sarah while drunk then that likely means that you don't have a happy relationship with her, likely due to your homosexuality which you are attempting to hide likely due to a homophobic family, which means that you do in fact wish to break up with Sarah. I knew about your date because it's friday and most couples tend to do a date night on a Saturday and as it is the first week of the month statistically it more likely that you'd be having a date night tonight.
(7:54am)
'I'M NOT GAY!'
(7:55am)
Your drunk texting says otherwise.
(7.56am)
'And why do you care so fucking much huh? Why does it matter soo much to you if John Watson is gay (WHICH HE IS NOT)'
(7:58am)
I don't care, caring is not an advantage. I just got told by someone that I should learn to be more 'human,' which is physically impossible as I am already a human. I decided I'd try, I won't be doing that again.
(7:59am)
'No. caring is a huge advantage actually - being heartless is not an advantage. You fuckwit.'
(8:00am)
Will caring about people help save them?
(8:08am)
Save them in what way Holmes? Caring emotionally can save a suicide, it can save somebody from feeling DO YOU JUST NOT CARE ABOUT PEOPLE. You're a fucking psychopath
(8:09am)
High functioning sociopath actually.
(8:10am)
'What the actual fuck is wrong with you. But also, how the actual fuck does your brain work...you figured out my date night from a simple text? You're a brilliant bastard. But yet again. What the fuck'
(8:12am)
I worked out your date night through the power of deduction. Human beings are predictable and typically follow a pattern which when learnt can be used to figure out their life story through the simplest of items.
(8:13am)
Also I don't know, as you so elegantly put it, 'what the fuck is wrong with me.' My brother has a whole file of theories as to what might be wrong with me, but I guess you could say that from my experiences I have learnt that caring does not come at an advantage and will lead to hurt.
(8:14am)
'You are bloody amazing'
(8:15am)
That's not what people normally say?
(8:15am)
Well what do people normally say?
(8:15am)
"Piss off"
(8:16am)
'Well i happen to find you extremely interesting. Sherlock Holmes. Interesting name too'
(8:17am)
And you John Watson, you seem significantly less dull than the rest of humanity.
(6:23pm)
'Dinner?'
(6:31pm)
'Unless you are busy'
(6:46pm)
'Sherlock?'
(6:50pm)
'Sorry'
(6:51pm)
You're asking me out to dinner?
(6:52pm)
'Nice deduction doofus'
(6:54pm)
John I must have you know that while I'm flattered by your interest I consider myself married to my work and given that you are currently in a relationship, even if it is an unhappy one, that you probably shouldn't be pursuing me as a sexual partner.
(6;56)
'Oh god no...Sherlock i dont even know your sexualality and i meant as friends. Dooofus. Ahahahah. Also i broke up with Sarah this morning. Not like you care or anything'
(6:57pm)
You consider me a friend?
(6:58pm)
'Oh..i mean what else would we be?'
(7:00pm)
Well given that we only started talking at 2am this morning I figured that you'd wish to terminate conversation with me.
(7:01pm)
I don't have friends Dr Watson.
(7:02pm)
'Doctor? How the fuck...also. Why? Why do you not have friends Sherlock. '
(7:09pm)
Thursday is not typically a night people go drinking on so therefore if you went drinking you were likely celebrating the end of a night shift. Judging by the way you text you have had significant education to gain your job but are most likely new to it so therefore you are statistically likely to be a doctor, correct me if I'm wrong Doctor?
(7:10pm)
'Why dont you have friends?. You're brilliant'
(7:11pm)
Friends are a waste of time, people are stupid and too emotional. People don't typically like me and from what I've observed people are going to be horrible whether you are their friend or not so why bother caring for someone when in the end I am only going to get hurt. Use your brain John, given that you're a doctor there must be at the very least something where that organ should reside.
(john is upset and doesn't reply)
(9:32pm)
I'm guessing that you're upset by that. Figures, you're a doctor of course you care too much about people but news flash John, people aren't worth getting your heartbroken over.
(9:35pm)
Has anyone ever told you that you are a fucking asshole Sherlock Holmes?
(9:40pm)
They never really stop...
(9:43pm)
Well you're an asshole
(9:45pm)
I know, no need to remind me
(9:47pm)
A genius asshole but an asshole none the less
(9:50pm)
Yeah John, I get it I'm an asshole
(9:54pm)
You're the biggest asshole that ever lived and fuck you
(9:55pm)
Are you done? BEING STRAIGTHHYHYHY BC I'M FELEING VERY GAY RN AND I WANT U TO PUT UR LIPS ONTO MY LIPS
(9:59pm)
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE HOW ARE YOU SO SMART YET YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS FUCKING RUDE OR NOT
(10:02pm)
NEXT YOUR GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE EARTH GOES ROUND OR THAT I'M BABY BYE BYE BIIIII (bi..bii..)
(10:05pm)
What does that matter I'M GAY so we go sun or we go round the moon (IM REALLY GAY) or round and round the garden like a teddy bear it wouldn't make any difference, all that matters to me is the work, without that my brain rots.
(10:07pm)
Yeah well... fuck you but id rather you fuck me. Either way you'll get fucked.
(6:09pm)
Do you still want to have dinner?
(6:23pm)
Yeah sure
(6:25pm)
Do you know Angelo's?
(6:32pm)
Thinkso yeah
(6:33pm)
Would you like to go to dinner there?
(6:34pm)
Yeah alright
(6:37pm)
See you then.
(6:40pm)
See you then :)
Sherlock arrived at Angelo's first wearing his telltale blue scarf and the coat that makes him look like a fucking overdramatic superhero cuz he's over dramatic as fuck. He walked in with his hair ruffled up looking for his soulmate. Much to his displeasure John had yet to arrive. Angelo came over with a smile on his face and seated Sherlock at a table which he unhappily went along with.
Every few minutes Sherlock checked his phone to see if John had sent him a text saying that he'd be late or wasn't coming. As the minutes passed by he became more and more anxious that John wasn't going to show up. His checking of his phone became more frequent until it got to the point where he wouldn't take his eyes off the screen for even a second in case John sent him a text.
He should've taken his eyes off the screen. John came into the restaurant and scanned the place for Sherlock's telltale coat or the hat that he always seemed to wear in the papers. The 'deerstalker' or whatever it was. When John had asked him about the hat over texts he'd been informed that it was actually a death frisbee, so who knew?
John scanned the place until he laid eyes on a sherlock description man who had his eyes glued to his phone. His fingers twitching and his eyes never leaving the phone as if he was expecting a text. John laughed at that, his boyfriend- no John friend, was worried that he wouldn't show. How cute, no not cute John. Very not cute, think manly thoughts not thoughts about how your boyfriend- friend is cute.
John walked up to him with a smile on his face and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. Sherlock's head shot up from his phone so fast that John could've sworn he'd get whiplash. Sherlock's expression was one of annoyance at first but once he realised that John had been the one to distract him from his distraction his expression quickly softened.
"Hello," Sherlock greeted him in an oddly professional voice.