Alfred sobbed, listening to the rain pound down on the window of his Queens home. "Arthur." He muttered and sobbed while his heart broke in two, slowly cracking in half and hurting him more than any war could've done. "Why?" American tears where rarer than an rainbow in a hurricane, they felt warm on his face but they were cold, a representation of how alone as he was right now. I don't know if I hate you or myself, but I don't think I can love you anymore, Arthur.
The Americans sobs racked the house and made the rain pour harder, turning it into a torrential storm that depressed all of the people in New York major. All Alfred could do was think about it and cry, even if he knew that there was a meeting to prepare for tomorrow. His wet clothes were strewn across the doorstep and the cup of coffee he started was beginning to get cold. The old, annoying radio that he wasn't sure why he kept flickered on and a familiar tune began to play.
Thank God you blew it, thank God I dodged the bullet, I'm so over you, So baby good lookin out.
I wanted you bad. I'm so through with it, cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had. You turned out to be the best thing I never had.
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had. I bet it sucks to be you right now.
The old radio fuzzed out a little bit and the song resumed in a more crappy quality version, probably because of the damn rain.
You don't deserve my tears, I guess that's why they ain't there.
When I think there was a time that I almost loved you, you showed your ass and I saw the real you.
Alfred was shocked. Did Beyoncè take the words out of his mouth? Arthur was an ass to him. Kiku always said that it was Arthur being a tsundere, but he knew that it was more than that. Even if the whole world was blind, he would have twenty-twenty vision and see the real Arthur. He sighed, this was more than he could take of the Brit screwing with his head. It was past time to end their doomed relationship.
One last thing, he thought, he pulled out his old leather wallet and his lighter. Carefully he extracted the picture of the two of them and burned his half to a crisp, leaving Arthur's smiling face alone. Then he remembered. Arthur doesn't know what he did to me. No one does. Great.
After regaining some of his strength he shakily stood up and headed towards his desk, head held high. Five drawers later, he found what he was looking for. Opening the CD/DVD drive on his laptop he put the blank CD in and loaded it, breezing through the music marketplace and purchasing "The Best Thing I Never Had." He uploaded it to the CD, pulled it out, put it in a blank case, and put the burned photo as the cover. In sharpie he inscribed in his chicken scratch, "To my first love, Arthur."
That was all done and with one last sob, the last dying one, he sank into a dreamless sleep.
XXX
It was an odd occasion, rain falling in New York City major in the fall, but no one suspected anything. After all, it was probably Alfred being depressed over his economy or something even stupider. Everyone shuffled in and Arthur, Francis, and Gilbert yelled at each other while trying to cope with their hangovers. Surprisingly Alfred arrived on time and the meeting began like usual. But after an hour it was obvious that something was wrong with him, he wasn't paying any attention or deflecting any snide comments, and he was staring out the window with a small sad smile on his face.
"Excuse me, Alfred-san, is anything wrong?"
"Oh no, it's nothing." He put on a fake mega-watt smile and asked Kiku a normal Alfred question.
"Did you get the sequel to. . . Or did this come out. . ." And Kiku had forgotten all about it. The atmosphere, which he could read but it was usually to much work, was way too tense and secretive for his ploy to be working. Luckily, Arthur hadn't presented yet or even tried to get close to him. Finally, it was his turn to talk. Since he didn't do anything for today he planned on fudging it by debating current issues. But that was killing him. So ten minutes before his allotted time ended he cleared his throat and said,
"My relations with England will go back to their previous state." He was ending their relationship. Everyone gasped and Arthur pushed his chair back and slapped the American nation, his glasses landing on the table.
"What the heck you damn bloody idiot?" Arthur couldn't remember anything that would make Alfred end the relationship, and coming to actually let the facts settle in, tried to hold back tears.
"I can't forgive you anymore." Alfred's sad smile returned and he looked at the crying Arthur.
"Forgive me for what? Why?" All Alfred wanted to do was wrap his arms around Arthur and hug him until he stopped crying, but that was now impossible.
"I guess you should ask Gilbert and Francis. But I would rather be single than with you, Kirkland." His eyes turned to ice and he looked down upon the crying nation. No more feelings came towards him.
"I don't think I-" His voice cracked and for a second everyone saw the pain in his eyes, "I could ever love you again. I do-don't want to know that everything I build myself on top of was being dissed by the person I loved." Alfred picked up his glasses, ignoring the tears that were starting to overflow, and left the CD on his desk, and by accident, his cell phone.
Arthur, now on the floor and trying to curse Francis through his tears looked up at Alfred and saw that Alfred was hurt more than he would ever say.
"Goodbye, Arthur Kirkland, Artie, Hun, Babe, Darlin'. Bye my first love." Alfred left the meeting room and the door closed behind him as the lunch break bell rang. It was Cinderella in reverse, the bell symbolizing the tragedy of what had just happened. No one ran after Alfred, knowing that was fools' play and turned towards Arthur.
Sobbing heavily he yelled, "Get a life! Ju-just leave me ah-alone." His hand barely reached the CD that Alfred left on the desk and he pulled it down, along with the community laptop that was connected to the projector. But he only cried more when he saw the cover. It was mocking him. The burnt picture of himself and the ashes of what remained of Alfred's side crumbling as he crumpled the picture up and tossed it towards the trash, missing it. Shakily he put the CD into the laptop and opened up the mp3 in it.
He was heavily sobbing and his emerald eyes were bathed in a sea of red, his tears scattering everywhere as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Alfred's number, just hoping to hear his voice when his voicemail played. A little chime of "God Save The Queen meets Smooth" played when Arthur realized that Alfred left his phone here.
The rain in England continued on for months and as it rounded a year continued at a slower rate until it died completely. Between the past and now, Alfred had learned how to smile and be happy over the little things again. He could also talk to Arthur with a smile on his face.
All Arthur could do was put on a facade and hope no one noticed. Well, that and curse Francis and Gilbert.
One day, a letter came in the mail, covered in yellow tape that signified that it looked like a bomb might be inside. Calmly, Arthur opened the letter and read it, faintly sobbing.
"Dear Arthur.
I don't know what to feel, but if you can't move on and this sticks you to much in the past, I'm sorry. We couldn't start over, this relationship is dead now. Your facade is almost perfect now, if your going to keep it on. I hope your tears don't make this illegible. But I wanted to say that, one of my favorite past times is to lie back and think of England. Love from Dallas and LA, cuz I'm on the flight to LA right now so I can hop the plane to Alaska. Things aren't doing to well with that cold week last year around this time I think.
Love, Alfred.
PS. Philly and Christina Perri say hi!"
Alfred's words cut Arthur's heart even more and finally he realized what he should of done already.
He never wanted to do this but. . .
Because after all, this was the twenty-third time they had broken up.
Did you get it? Arthur used magic every time they broke up so he could restart it. Every time it was because of something like this, or Alfred died cuz of a war. I couldn't write my other story "If One Was Enough, What Is Two?" (please read it if you have the time) because of this little plot bunny.
Thank you very much.