Into the light and back

Auggie sat at his desk. He and Annie had just completed a tricky mission for Joan and he was typing his report. He typed quickly and the computer voice read to him, what he was typing whilst he listened through his Grado Labs headphones. He was glad that modern technology made it possible to work like anybody else, no matter what technique he used.

Being blind was not always easy, even after so many years of constant darkness around him. But he would hardly talk about that to Annie or anybody else he knew.

Auggie finished his report, printed the sheet and went over to the printer to get the page. Then he grabbed his cane, and walked to Joan Campbell´s office. He knocked on the office door of his boss and entered when he heard „come in" whilst sweeping his cane in a small arc.

Joan was typing on her keyboard when Auggie came in. She looked up from her screen and rose from her desk chair when he reached her desk. Auggie handed her the printed sheet and rested his hands on top of his cane. His chocolate brown eyes stared blankly into space, when Joan said

„You and Annie have done a good job. I am proud to have such an excellent team among my DPD employees.

„This reminds me of the good old times when you were a regular field agent." She added. And then she realized, that she had said something awkward and corrected herself.

„Auggie, I did not mean to hurt you. I know how much being in the field meant to you. I just wanted to show you my appreciation"

Auggie had listened to her and replied „I am not offended or mad. What you said is completely right and it describes exactly how I feel about it, too."

Then he turned and left the office.

Three hours later Auggie was sitting on his couch, listening to a Mingus CD and sipping on a glass of red wine when his cell phone rang. It was Alan, his oldest brother.

„Hey Auggie, how are you doing?" He asked, when Auggie took the call, tapping the screen of his Iphone twice.

„I am fine" Auggie said and then he asked „To what do I owe the pleasure of your call? We have not been talking a lot lately, right."

„You know me well „Bro" Alan said and continued „ Auggie I have some exciting news for you. A friend of mine is a doctor, and he told me about a new method to restore the sight of people with vision loss due to an optic nerve trauma." Alan sounded excited.

Auggie had listened to the story of his brother and could not contain himself. He had come to terms with his condition and he wanted his family to accept him the way he was now. His annoyance was clearly audible, when he answered.

„ALAN, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TALKED ABOUT THAT? My blindness is irreversible. I have accepted that long time ago and you should do that, too and move on. My life is okay the way it is and I am not prepared for any kind of experimental surgery"

And with these words he ended the call.

His brother was incredulous. He looked at the phone in his hand and shook his head. He had expected a lot more enthusiasm from his blind brother. Alan could not believe, that Auggie would refuse to take this opportunity, refuse to take the „final straw" so to speak and turn down the chance to regain his vision.

Auggie was still annoyed, when he had ended the call. He knew that even after 7 years, his family had still a hard time accepting, that he could not see anymore. He had told his brother that he was not ready for any sort of new surgery. But if he was honest, he was not prepared for the possibility to be deceived or disappointed again. Deep down inside, he was afraid, that any hope for sight restoration could be turned into a big deception and into a lot of pain if it didn´t work. He did not want to suffer again. Not after he had finally accepted what could not be changed.

The next couple of days, Auggie was as busy as usual in his office. But despite the huge work load, the call of his brother kept bugging him. He could not stop thinking about the possibility to see again. But he was also afraid, to call his brother. He was not the type of guy, who would apologize or admit that he was scared. After all, he was still a soldier, a tough guy, who avoided to show too much emotion. So he opted for a different way. He searched the internet for information and finally found the address of an opthalmologist in Rome, who had developed this new method of sight restoration.

Rome... his memories took him back to 2006 when he was sent to Rome on a mission...he had been to Rome with Helen. And he had gone through some of his darkest hours when Helen died, or more precisely when he thought that his wife was dead. Could his fate now turn the bad memories into good ones? He had lived in the Eternal City for half a year and had learned a bit of Italian, too. His Italian was a bit rusty so to speak, but it was still good enough to make a call. Auggie dialled the number he had found on the homepage of the hospital, and waited for the dialling tone.

A few seconds later he heard „Ospedale Santa Maria, come posso aiutare" Auggie cleared his throat and replied „ Mi chiamo Anderson, ho trovato il suo indirizzo sulla pagina web del ´ospedale e mi piacerebbe ottenere informazione sul nuovo metodo oculistico del Professore Mazzini"

„Con piacere" the young woman on the other side of the line replied, and after Auggie had given his full name, his address and a few other details, she promised to send him an e-mail with all the necessary information.

Now all he could do was wait. And what was more important, he had to keep his enquiries secret. Auggie did not want to give false hope to his friends or family. At least not, as long as he was not sure that he wanted to give his sight restoration a new chance. He knew that if the whole thing failed, his parents would be more concerned than Auggie himself. They would not get over it as easily as he did. They could not imagine that a life without sight could be worth living.

Two hours later, Auggie had received the e-mail with all the necessary information. Dr. Mazzini was a renowned opthalmologist and one of the leading eye surgeons in Europe. Therefore, the brochure about his eye surgery methods was also available in English. An advantage for Auggie, it made it easier for him to read. The computer voice read to him the content and Auggie mused whether he should give it a try. The operation was not exactly cheap. The hospital charged 15.000 Euro for the operation and an additional amount of 5.000 for the hospital stay. Money however, was not the issue for Auggie. He had a savings account, where some thousand Dollars had accumlated over the last 7 years. The government payed all veterans, that were injured a monthly compensation fee. And with the money he earned at the CIA, he did rarely need this additional income. Being blind sometimes had its perks.

The idea to be able to see again, was tempting for Auggie. But at the same time, he was scared. He was afraid that all of his hopes might be in vain. But on the other hand. What had he got to lose? Even if it did not work. He was probably no worse off than now. He had accepted his life in darkness so if it did not work he would at least have tried it.

The night was almost sleepless for Auggie since he could not stop thinking about the pros and cons of Dr. Mazzini´s operation procedure. But then, at 5:00 am, he had made a decision. He would travel to Rome and give Dr. Mazzini a chance. Now he was excited. He calculated the time difference between DC and Rome and came to the conclusion, that it should be noon there. So he picked up his phone and made a call.

The same friendly voice, he had heard the day before answered his call and he made an appointment. All that he had to do now was convince Joan to grant him a few weeks of vacation.

Given the fact that he always worked overtime, Joan would presumably not be against it. She mostly urged him to take some time off, when he exaggerated his office hours in Langley.

Auggie made himself some coffee. He needed a dose of caffeine to stay awake after that night.

Whilst the coffee was brewing, he took a shower and thought of the things to come when he would travel to Rome again.

Three hours later, Auggie sat in Joan´s office. Joan Campbell smiled at him, when he asked her to give him some time off. „I thought you would never ask" She said and added „You really deserve a vacation. Enjoy your time off and try to focus on something else than your job here." And with a bit of curiosity in her voice she asked „Have you made any plans yet?"

Auggie fumbled a bit with his folded cane on his lap and replied. „Yes, I am going to Europe. A friend of mine has moved to Rome and I would like to take this opportunity to see him and get back to one of the most beautiful places in the world."

„That is a fantastic idea" Joan stated

„It is" Auggie answered. He had decided to tell his boss a part of the truth. After all, he was CIA and just in case somebody learned, that he was in Europe, he needed to come up with a plausible explanation. It was not a secret, that Auggie had friends everywhere and a friend in Rome would not raise any suspicion. „I wish you an enjoyable time" Joan ended the conversation. In exactly one week Auggie would be gone for a while. And if she was honest, she missed him already. He was one of her best operatives, and a person she could always rely on. His visual disability was not an obstacle for his job.

Auggie unfolded his cane again and walked to the door. When he reached for the door handle, he turned again and smiled into Joan´s direction. „Thank you" He said and closed the door behind him.

Now the preparations for his trip to Rome could begin. Auggie checked whether his passport was still valid and bought a new trolley suitcase. The old one would not do anymore and baggage handling at airports was rough. He also needed to inform Annie. She would get the same information he had given to Joan already. He dialled her number and waited for her to take the call.

„Hey Auggie" Annie took the call after the second ring.

„Would you enjoy having a beer with me tonight at Alan´s?" Auggie asked.

„Yeah, sure. Anything special you wanna talk about?" Annie´s intuition rarely failed. When Auggie invited her for a drink he often needed some advice or somebody to talk to.

„I will tell you, when we meet. Can you pick me up at 8:00?"

„Done" Annie said and ended the conversation. She had no idea what was expecting her.

Annie was punctual. One of her qualities that Auggie highly appreciated. At exactly 8:00 pm she knocked on Auggie´s door and he quickly slid it open when he heard her say „Auggie, it´s me!"

Auggie had already put on his leather jacket and had slung his messenger bag across his chest. He kept his cane folded up in his hand and Annie brushed her hand with his to offer him her lead. They were a great team. With Annie, he needed no words. She new instictively knew when he needed help and he was not reluctant to accept it. His pride did not always make it easy for him to ask for assistance, with Annie however, things were different and he liked that.

Fifteen minutes later they reached the pub. Annie guided Auggie to a table and put his hand on the back of a chair. He sat down, put the folded cane on the table and started the conversation. A smile played around his mouth when he said „Your intuition has not deceived you Annie, there is something I would like to talk about. I will leave for Rome next week. An old friend of mine moved there and I would like to visit him. I need some time off and this is an excellent opportunity to get away from the stress here in Langley"

Annie was surprised. Auggie was a real workaholic and he usually took only time off when he was forced to do so. „Wow this is great" She replied and continued „How did you get this idea?"

„Jason called me two days ago and asked me whether I would like to meet his wife. He has just got married and his wife is now expecting their first baby. I think it is the perfect time to get out for a bit."

„It surely is" Annie said and then with a bit of concern in her voice she added „Do you think Rome will do you good? I mean, the whole story with Helen happened there."

„Don´t worry Annie, I have gotten over it" Auggie answered and he tried to sound normal, when he added „Sometimes being blind is an advantage. You know, I cannot exactly see the city and so all of the places there will not remind me of the time with Helen. And then he searched for Annie´s hand reaching across the table. He squeezed it a bit and placed a kiss on the back of her hand before he let go, because he heard the waitress arrive with their drinks.