Coon and Friends vs Freddy Krueger

By Shadowgate

…...

The Coon was holding a meeting in his secret base.

The Coon started by saying "greetings and it sure is great to be out of the holding cell. I know you all were very sore at me for sending you to a dark oblivion. Now we shall stand together as we face a new enemy. We will face Freddy Krueger."

Mysterion raised his hand.

The Coon pointed to Mysterion and Mysterion said "well I do hope you learned a lesson Coon and we must fight Freddy. He's a fucking killer!"

Toolshed raised his hand and when called upon he said "those of us who have sisters are very concerned. Although I wouldn't mind if Freddy were to scare the shit out of my sister."

Toolshed laughs and Mysterion shouts "YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MEAN THAT STAN!"

Toolshed responded "I think my sister could take on Freddy herself. She'd put up a fight seriously."

Human Kite chimed in "I don't think it's the kind of risk we want to take. Seriously this guy is a dangerous fucking killer and we have to stand together."

Coon called out "Human Kite I didn't give you permission to speak."

Human Kite responded "oh well tough shit Coon. Why don't you go tell your mom on me, that seemed to work out for you."

Everyone laughs.

The Coon snapped "that's not funny Goddamn it!"

Mosquito said "you're right it's not funny when the Coon says Goddamn it. I think it would be funny if Kermit the Frog said Goddamn it."

Everyone laughs except the Coon and Iron Maiden.

The Coon said "oh that's cute Clyde. Hey if Freddy kills all the girls here in South Park you'll have no dates so you'll be at home jacking off to Playboy."

Mosquito said "oh shit!"

Human Kite responded "hey even if he doesn't kill a single female in South Park you'll never have a date fat ass."

Everyone laughs and Mintberry Crunch says "that's a good one Kyle."

The Coon turned around and saw Mint Berry Crunch coming down the stairs.

"Well the crunchy little queer boy has returned" the Coon stated with disdain.

Mint Berry Crunch responded "I see the Coon has been set free after serving time for his revolting acts. Let me ask you all did you have to grease the cell door and the Coon to get him out since he's so fat?"

Everyone but the Coon laughed.

The Coon gave an angry look and said "well I'm sure Freddy Krueger will be so scared of the fruity little boy who has just joined us. Now do any of you have legitimate ideas as to how we can fight this beast?"

Mysterion answered "we might lose lots of sleep but we must do everything we can. I won't let him get a hold of my sister."

Toolshed asked "where is your sister?"

Mysterion said "she's in a secret location. My parents were told she was staying the night at a friend's house and my parents aren't going to actually check up on her I'm sure of that."

Human Kite said "well good hey do you think there's a chance he'll go after our moms?"

The Coon answered "well your mom could sit on him and that would be enough."

Everyone laughed except Human Kite who walked over and punched Coon.

Toolshed stated "we all stick together we can take down Freddy. We're strong and unless Coon betrays us again I'm sure winning won't be as hard as we make it out to be."

Mysterion said "Coon if you decide to join Freddy we won't hesitate to kill you."

The Coon said "I'm with you guys on this one. Freddy is an ugly loser and again I promise to stand with you all because we are Coon and Friends."

Mysterion said "your life will depend on that promise Coon."

Freddy Krueger was walking through the town of South Park scouting all the sites. He laughed out loud and said "oh man this little mountain town will make a lovely human slaughter house."

TO BE CONTINUED