It was late and everyone was gone except her. She was the only one remaining after one of the longest days of her life. She was tired, exhausted, confused, conflicted...all the negative adjectives that can describe a person after a horrid day at work, you name them, they were all on Calleigh. They were all Calleigh was feeling.
Those split seconds that her eyes met Eric's as he was fleeing the crime scene...it was like the world had stopped and she went suddenly numb. She subjected her life to danger...she subjected herself to being shot in the head. She just couldn't take her eyes of the car as it drove ahead...and then when they found the car, and Sharova was the only person in it...Calleigh had to breathe as ugly thoughts filled her mind with the possibilities of what could have happened to Eric.
Her eyes had settled on the broken glass in the middle of the windscreen, where the bullet had gone through...her bullet and Calleigh realized that it was very possible that she had gotten Eric...and if she had...then she knew for sure that it was in the head. The thought that Eric could die because of her...that she could be the one responsible of ending his life, after everything that the two of them have been through...after everything they have shared, nauseated her. She tried to remind herself that he could still be alive. That he had survived a head injury once, he could do it again...and then when they had eventually found him and realized that he was still alive, a part of her had been relieved but the other part was still scared as hell for him. She wanted to go with him in the ambulance, she wanted to hold his hand, beg him to fight, beg him to come back to her, but Horatio was already up in the ambulance without even considering asking her if she wanted to go, not that he knew about them, but Calleigh just wanted to be with him, just like he had been with her when she was the one on the way to the hospital.
She watched the ambulance leave and as she walked back to her hummer, she let herself cry. She tried to let it all out but people were soon going to see her, and she didn't want anyone to see her cry.
Then she had gotten to hospital and thank God Alexx was there to take care of him, and there was no one else she trusted than her to handle his life at that moment...and then when Alexx had taken a moment to sit down with her, seeing how rattled she was, Calleigh simply couldn't take it anymore and she had let her guard down and cried on her shoulder. She just needed someone to hold her and tell her that he was going to be alright.
The doctors had come out and informed them about his conditions, and Calleigh couldn't be more relieved when he opened his eyes. Horatio had been the first person he saw but as soon as he turned his head slowly to the other side, his eyes had briefly settled on her, and in those split seconds, Calleigh could see the hurt, the pain, the anger and the disappointment...she just wasn't sure if she saw understanding as well. Maybe it was wishful thinking.
Now it was late, almost midnight, and Calleigh was still in the same clothes she had been in during the day. She hadn't bothered taking a trip home to change. Her pants were no longer wet from the water in the river but it was dry and very uncomfortable, but Calleigh couldn't be bothered, not even if she got a cold. She simply couldn't care less at the moment.
She got up from the chair she was sitting on in the corridor, just outside Eric's room, and as she slid her hands in her front pockets, she slowly made her way towards his door again. She could see him from the little window and Calleigh could already feel the tears coming again. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, and yet all she wanted to do was lay down in his arms and just sleep in them without saying a word. She pressed her lips together, took a deep breath, and with a hand on the knob, she opened the door and closed it behind her for some much needed privacy.
She stood there next to the door for some time, taking the view of him in front of her as she wrapped her arms in front of her as if to protect herself. She could feel herself beginning to tremble as she recalled that moment the car came speeding out of the warehouse towards her and then Eric's face. She quickly shut her eyes closed and willed herself to push the dreaded memory away, as she finally made herself move and approach his bed.
She took yet another deep long breath and sat down on the empty chair next to his bed. He was sleeping and his hand was lying there, and her eyes settled on it, tempted to slip her hand into his and hold it. She just needed to feel it. She just needed to feel him. She hesitated a bit at first, imagining him flinching at her touch when not long ago it excited him. She settled her hand on the bed next to his and slowly moved her hand towards his so she could touch his fingers with the tip of her own. She swallowed hard at the light contact and lifted her gaze towards him as if to check if she had woken him up, but his eyes were still closed, so she moved her hand closer, lifting his into her own. She stared at their joined hands and looked at him again before dragging her eyes off his face and on their hands once again. She lifted his hand up and placed it against her mouth, as she kissed his knuckles, before resting it against his cheek, her fingers slipping through her fingers. She rubbed her cheek against it and closed her eyes remembering to two days ago how different everything was...
He was lying on top of her his hand stroking her face, as he kissed her passionately, feeling her hand running through his back, her legs wrapping themselves round his waist on their own accord, as her body invited him. His hands went down along her arms, as he let his weight briefly weight on her body, as his fingers found hers. She felt him grab her hands and push them up, his fingers slipping through hers as he pushed himself inside of her and Calleigh moaned as his mouth cherished that area behind her ear.
Tears slipped down her cheek at the memory, and once they started, she simply couldn't stop them. She let herself have a good cry and only hoped she wouldn't wake him up, cause as much as she wanted to look into those brown eyes of his, she simply couldn't face them just yet. She had been there for minutes, hours waiting outside his room, and yet she still had no idea what she was going to tell him.
'I'm sorry...I'm so...sorry' she cried 'Oh God...what have I done?' Calleigh sobbed.
The pain she was feeling...she just couldn't bare it. She hadn't cried like this in years. It was like all the times she prevented herself from crying were now coming out in this one heartbreaking cry. She could feel her heart break into million pieces, and all she wanted to do was go back in time and take that bullet back. Be at another crime scene...another one where it didn't involve Eric. Go back in time before Sharova came into their lives and made a mess out of it. Ever since he came into the picture they had to face hurdles that a new couple shouldn't have to face. A new couple should be living in a bubble in a romantic bliss, sneak around to capture secret kisses, make love like crazy and not having to deal with jail, deportation or bullets and hospital beds.
This was crazy.
Calleigh tried to calm down, wiping the tears with her free hand. She didn't want to let go of his hand...not yet. She looked at him then and pressed her lips together.
'I had no idea you were there...I had no idea you were in that car Eric...I would have never shot at you if I knew. Why didn't you come to me when Sharova called you? It's me Eric...It has always been me you confided your deepest dark secrets...why are things changing now? I would have helped you...protected you. I never wanted to hurt you...it's the one thing I never wanted to do' Calleigh whispered her voice breaking again as fresh tears rolled down her face.
'You have to fight this...you have to wake up and be you again. We can get through this together...please Eric...I know it is my fault you're lying in a hospital bed...but don't abandon me like all the other men. Don't leave me Eric...I can't imagine myself going to work without you...I can't imagine my life without you in it' she told him her free hand reaching out to caress his cheek. They were the exact words he had said to her when she was the one in a hospital bed. It had been a blissful dream...a dream that turned out to be a reality. She could still remember that moment when she opened her eyes and seconds later Eric was walking into her room smiling at her. She had felt so happy to see him, to know it was really him who had been talking to her, beside her. She could still see his happy face when he had confirmed that it had been him who had said those words to her, and then when she asked him to stay with her. She could still recall their first kiss...
'Cal you have to rest' he told her as he realized she was trying to get out of bed.
'Eric I'm fine' she replied stubbornly.
'No you're not. You just got out of the hospital Cal. No one is fine when they just get released from hospitals' he had replied.
She was sitting on the edge of the bed as Eric refused to step aside, until he finally decided to take a seat next to her 'Please Cal...I know that you don't like this, but I don't like seeing you in hospital even more. Just rest. Please' he told her as he reached out and pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
He was so close to her, his hand caressing her face, and his eyes were suddenly fixated on her lips. She watched him swallow hard, and Calleigh couldn't help but mimic his wet her lips and felt herself fall closer to him, as the distance between their mouths came to nothing.
'This is not how I imagined kissing you the first time' he whispered against her lips.
'Neither have I' she replied 'But I can't wait any longer' and Eric pressed his lips against hers, his forehead resting against hers, as his hand held her head closer to him. His tongue swam inside her heavenly mouth for the first time, after all the years he had dreamed of doing so. She had always been their, but always a little bit out of reach, and as their friendship grew, their feelings flourished bringing them to this moment.
'You had refused to kiss me in hospital' she whispered 'Even after all the years you waited for me, waited for that moment...you still refused to kiss me so I could recuperate' she chuckled 'And I will wait...just like you did. I will wait until you can forgive me' she whispered, tears surfacing again 'Just say you'll forgive me...please Eric...please forgive me' she whispered as tears started falling again.
She got up from her chair then, stared at his face, stroked it for him, and then leaned down and pressed her lips against his 'Please don't let this be the last kiss' she pleaded 'I love you' she whispered heartbroken.
She pulled away then, releasing his hand and wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to get herself back together after that heartfelt confession she just made. She only hoped he could hear her, just like she had heard him. She had just turned around to walk out of the room when her nickname slipped through his mouth and Calleigh froze.
'Cal' he whispered.
Calleigh turned around and her watery eyes met his as she watched him open his hand for her. Unsure of what she was about to do, she instinctively walked back to him and slowly slipped her hand into his, her eyes focused on their hands. She watched him close his hand around hers and squeeze it a little bit, making Calleigh burst into tears again.
'I...forgive...you' he whispered and Calleigh lifted her gaze shocked at what he had just said 'I...' and Eric swallowed hard, finding it hard to speak 'I...love you' he whispered, letting her know he had heard every single word she had just told him.
She pressed her lips together, smiling thankfully at him before she leaned down and laid her head against his chest, extending her left arm so she could hug him. Eric closed his eyes at the contact letting tears slide down the sides of his face, understanding as bad as all this was, she had no way of knowing it was him.
He watched her then let go of his hand and climb gently onto his bed, and lay down on her side beside him, her head resting against his chest, right over his heart, as she wrapped her arm around him again.
'Thank you' she whispered, just before both of them dozed off to sleep in each other's arms.