Pairing/Characters: EirixTohmaxShuichi
Warnings: Mentions of threesome sex
Summary: Eiri awakens to an incredibly strange morning after. Pure Crack, so enter at your own risk.
Notes: This was meant for the April Drabble challenge but went much longer than intended.
When Eiri woke up the day after April Fool's, he hadn't worried about the fact that he had no memory of the other night save for Tohma having been over, continuing his cold war with Shuichi. His brother-in-law hadn't tried anything for once, of that Eiri was sure, otherwise he would have been feeling enraged. Instead, all he seemed to be able to remember was having a really wild time. Though, if that was the case, why wasn't Shuichi in bed? He was never the first out of bed when things had been THAT good. Then again, Eiri was too groggy to really care what the brat was up to at the moment.
At least, he was until he smelled eggs cooking, which sent him into a blind panic. Shuichi and kitchens were the worst combination possible. Pulling on his boxers he rushed towards the kitchen, but was forced to stop at a truly shocking sight. Shuichi was indeed standing in front of a frying pan, cooking, but that wasn't what caused his blood to run cold. For Tohma was standing right next to the boy, an arm draped over his shoulder.
"Are you sure we can't turn the heat up?" Shuichi had a bit of a petulant whine to his voice, but seemed to be engrossed in his work.
"Eggs need to be cooked at a low temperature, least they get tough. Besides, this way you won't burn anything." There seemed to be no hostility in Tohma's voice, which was somehow more frightening than the fear Eiri'd had that Shuichi was about to get his face shoved into a burning frying pan.
Shuichi looked up at Tohma and retorted angrily. "That was an accident!" Tohma seemed to take this in stride though and laughed.
"And that's why we're not having any sausage." Eiri found himself getting annoyed that he hadn't been noticed yet and cleared his throat. Both turned towards him, looking as if they had been caught in some criminal act. "Eiri-san!"
"Yuki! We're just... I mean we're..." Tohma gave Shuichi's shoulder a squeeze, silencing the boy.
"Finish cooking the eggs, Shuichi." Shuichi looked like he was about to argue, but seemed to think better of it and turned back to the pan. Tohma walked over to Eiri and grabbed him by the shoulder. "Eiri-san, why don't you go shower and get dressed." Tohma's eyes were firmly fixed down below at a point they shouldn't have been.
"No. Explain yourself now. What are you doing here? I thought you left after last night." Tohma suddenly got a look that was a cross between embarrassed and dreamy. "What did you do?"
"It wasn't his fault Yuki!" Shuichi was standing behind Tohma holding onto the pan of eggs with two pot holders. The contents appeared to be eggs sunny side up, but Eiri couldn't be sure. "It just sort of happened! I was the one who served the drinks! How was I supposed to know that he was such a light weight! I just wanted to play a joke on him!" Shuichi gestured violently at Tohma. "How was I supposed to know he'd..." Shuichi suddenly trailed off, blushing even more.
Eiri felt like he was going to be a little sick, but managed to hold onto the anger that was beginning to pulse through him. "What happened? Before I kick you out," he pointed at Shuichi, "And disown you." He leveled his eyes on Tohma, blaming him for whatever it was that had happened.
"You remember when I visited last night?" Eiri nodded, remembering that it had really been nothing special, though he had been wishing that Tohma would leave so that he could have his way with Shuichi. "Well, Shuichi apparently thought it'd be funny if he spiked the tea." The puzzle was slowly coming together and Eiri was even more pissed than before.
"I didn't know you guys would end up drinking the whole pot." Shuichi had set the pan aside was leaning against the wall, looking downwards.
"I really don't remember too much save for some rather fun things." Tohma chose that moment to beam at him. Eiri nearly lost his footing, but steadied himself, waving off Shuichi and Tohma's attempts to help him. He then gave Shuichi the most vicious look imaginable.
"You let him?" Eiri felt that he had lost all patience and was about to yell, but Shuichi beat him to it apparently.
"I couldn't pull you off of him! And then, he started licking my neck and it felt good and you were saying it was okay, and well, stuff happened! And I refuse to apologize or feel bad about it, because I liked it! I liked it a lot!" With that, Shuichi pushed right past him and ran towards the bedroom. After a few seconds, the door slammed.
"It has been a long night for him and a strange morning for the both of us, so don't hold it against him Eiri-san." Tohma patted his back and walked over to the cupboards, pulling out some plates.
Not bothering to go to the bedroom and get dressed as he wasn't ready to deal with a sobbing Shuichi yet, Eiri sat down in one of the chairs with a groan. "So you didn't plan this? It was all his fault?"
Tohma shook his head as he arranged set a plate in front of Eiri and then set two for Shuichi and himself. He then did the same with the silverware and began to distribute the runny eggs onto each of the plates. "If I was going to seduce you, it wouldn't have been that crudely. And I think blaming Shuichi is a little harsh."
"Since when do you call him Shuichi?" Eiri sighed, picking up a fork and nudging the eggs, then decided that he didn't want to poison himself. He couldn't take exotic cuisine, not when Tohma was being so eerily nice to Shuichi.
"It seemed a little inappropriate to keep calling him Shindou-san after what had happened last night." Tohma had his hands folded as he often did when he was contemplating some weighty matter. "He said he enjoyed it and while I myself am not happy that I was so careless, it happened and in all truth I did enjoy it."
"What about my feelings?" The eggs were beginning to make his stomach sicken even more, their stench a little overwhelming.
"Can you honestly say you hated it?" Okay, even though he didn't remember everything, his subconscious remembered enough to tell him that he had indeed enjoyed it, but he wasn't going to say it. "Besides, you have more pressing matters to worry about." Eiri followed Tohma's gaze down the hallway, to the bedroom door.
"What do you want me to say to him?" Tohma shoved the plate towards him. "No, I am not eating that."
"He worked very hard on it hoping to please you." Tohma was already eating his, as if it was the best thing in world.
"And you helped him."
"Why is that so bad?" Eiri's mind was rebelling at the very idea of eating this concoction, at the very notion that this counted as food. "I'm sure if you tell him you actually ate it, he'll stop crying." Tohma said with a hopeful smile.
"Alright. Get the brat, okay? It doesn't do any good if he doesn't see me eat it." With a nod Tohma got up and headed off to the bedroom. Eiri cut a small bite and held it in front of his mouth, dangling off the fork in the most unappealing manner possible. It was best that he get over the initial shock, so that if he gagged right away, Shuichi wouldn't see it. Resigned to his fate, he forced the bit into his mouth and chewed it bitterly. And found, much to his dismay, that it didn't taste that bad at all.