Baby, if you're done with love
Who's gonna hold you tonight?
Are you done with love
So they can't hurt you tomorrow?
You don't wanna keep swimming in the ocean you've cried
But I won't let you drown
I'll pull you back to the shallow
Tris's POV
I am done with love. After several heartbreaks from those who I thought loved me, but really only wanted me for my body, I am done with love. Before, I would've just forgot about them completely. But I can't, since he goes to the same college as me, and I have to see him every day. He was the last person I thought I loved. He was the one who broke my heart for the last time. He is the reason why I am done with love.
Today will be a normal day, nothing interesting will happen at all. I will go to my classes, avoiding anyone at all costs. Then I will come straight back to my dorm. Christina will ask if I want to do anything, and I will say no. Then she will say how I should just get over him.
But I am over him. I am over with him, and I am over with love. I don't ever want to be in a relationship, I just want to get through college, and I just want to get through life without anymore heartbreak.
I put my headphones in and walk out of my dorm. It's time for my writing class, which he is also in. I'm usually the first one in the class—I don't show up early, everyone else just tends to show up late—but today, he is there. And his friends.
"Well look who it is," he says as I walk in. "Hi there, Trissy."
"Do not call me that," I growl at him as I take my seat.
"Oh, no 'Good Morning, Eric'?" He raises his eyebrows at me.
I smirk. "No." I take my headphones out and go to my usual seat, towards the back of the class. Eric follows.
"What do you want, exactly?" I say to him without looking up.
"You know, today would've been our three year anniversary." He's right. We started dating when we were sophomores in high school. Part of the reason we're going to the same college now. "Have anything to say? Trissy?"
"Why are you so annoying? And clingy?"
That gets him to shut up. He rolls his eyes and goes back to his seat just as the professor walks in.
I hate him. I'm pretty sure he hates me. We've been broken up for about a year now, and I wish I would've ended it earlier. He wasn't the nicest person, to me or to anyone else. He would say things, make fun of me in front of his friends. And then the second we get alone, he would try and apologize and say that he didn't mean it.
I never believed him.
It's his fault we're over.
How could I have ever loved him?
I really regret not breaking up with him before he…
Whatever. The past is in the past. I have to focus on my future now. My Ericless future.
Today, instead of going back to my dorm, I decide to sit outside and study. I used to do this all the time, just watching the leaves fall off trees. Sometimes I would study by myself, sometimes with Eric, sometimes with Christina.
I sit cross legged under one of the cherry blossoms. I always thought these were the most beautiful. Under a cherry blossom is where Eric and I shared our first kiss. Under a cherry blossom is where we broke up.
I ignore the memories and open up one of the textbooks. Christina used to call me a nerd jokingly in high school, because I would rather sit outside and study than hang out at a mall. But unlike her, I graduated with honors. So studying pays off, I guess.
Someone walks up to me. At first, I think it's Eric or one of his friends here to tease me, but when I look up, it's someone else. He smiles at me shyly. "Mind if I join you?" He asks. I stare right back into those deep blue eyes of his. I recognize him, we went to high school together. He was the shy kid who would sometimes hang out with Zeke and his other friends. I'm not exactly friends with that group, but they're nice enough. Not like Eric's group of friends.
"Not at all," I smile at him.
Tell me who took your heart away
And do you know it breaks mine when I hear you say
That you're done with love?
Oh, you are done with love
Give me one night to mend the pain
Because the second we touch
You'll forget the day
You were done with love
Tobias's POV
I've had a crush on her since high school. I understand that she doesn't return the feeling. I hate Eric for ever being with her, because now she doesn't seem like the girl I met in high school. Oh well, she probably doesn't even remember my name. I think we only had two classes in high school anyway.
I've told Zeke and Shauna how I feel about her, and they just tell me to ask her out. It's not that easy. Love is never that easy. Who knows, maybe she never wants another boyfriend again.
She is sitting under the tree. My tree. Well, I can't exactly get mad because it's not really just my tree, and it's her who's sitting under it, so I don't mind. I decide to stop being a coward and talk to her.
"Mind if I join you?" I ask her. She stares at me for a moment, probably wondering why I even talked to her in the first place. Her eyes are blue. A pale blue. Like, a silver blue. Beautiful.
"Not at all," she smiles. I haven't seen her smile in a while. She used to smile all the time when she was with Eric. I sit next to her, and wonder what Eric even did to her.
I open my bookbag and take out a textbook and my notebook. For a moment, we just sit there doing our work, ignoring each other until she asks: "Doesn't your name begin with a T?"
"Yeah, it's Tobias. And you name is Beatrice," I feel hurt for a moment because she didn't remember me. But then again, I don't remember talking to her that much in high school.
"Just Tris," she says, cringing at her own name.
"Okay, Just Tris," I chuckle. She elbows me in my side. And it hurts.
"Ow okay! I was just kidding!" She smirks at me. We sit in silence again, doing our work for whatever class. I want to ask her out, but I don't want to get rejected. It doesn't have to be a date, though. We can just go out for lunch as friends, or as acquaintances. But where should we go? Someplace casual of course. And cheap.
"Do you maybe wanna go somewhere?" I ask her. Idiot.
"Are you asking me out on a date?" She raises her eyebrows at me.
"No, I was just wondering." Idiot. "But it can be if you want it to." Stupid idiot fool you can't say that! Now she probably hate—
"Okay, let's go." She stands up and throws her bookbag over her shoulder.
"R-really?" I ask, standing up, surprised that she accepted the offer.
"Yeah really, where do you wanna go?"
I smile the biggest smile I've smiled in a long time.
Tris's POV
It is not a date. I refuse to let it be a date. He seemed really surprised when I said yes to him, like he was expecting to be rejected. But it's not a date. It's just…something between two friends. I can't even really call him my friend, I barely remember him from high school. It's just what it is, and I don't know what 'it' is.
We walk to a small café not far from the campus. I've been here several times before, and I like it here. They have good chocolate cake. We sit at a table near a window.
"So," he says.
"So what?"
"I would like to get to know you better."
"There's nothing to know."
He rests his elbows on the table, and I mirror him. "Yeah there is," he smirks.
"Okay," I say. "Let's start with this. I am done with love. Me and you will never be more than just friends, alright?"
He doesn't say anything, and the expression on his face is hard to read. It's like a mix between surprise and sadness. "Okay," he says. He looks down at the table and smirks. Am I really done with love? Yes, I'm done. I'm not going to let him get close to me. I'm not falling for him.
We both got cake. And I learned that he likes cake a lot. We gave each other our numbers and he walked me back to my dorm, where Christina was waiting for me with a billion questions.
"Tris! Oh my gosh tell me every detail!" She squeals.
I sigh. "We sat under one of the cherry blossoms together just talking and then he asked if I wanted to go somewhere with him. I accepted and we went to that one café and I told him that we would never be more than just friends."
Christina gasps. "No. You did not tell him that. Please tell me you made that last part up." I shake my head no. "Tris! You obviously feel some kinda way about him! Stop ignoring your feelings!"
"I'm not ignoring anything. I don't need your dating advice, either. I don't want to be in a relationship, simple as that."
"Tris, you can't let your messed up relationship with Eric influence your love life for the rest of your life. Do you really want to die alone?"
"I probably will, one spouse always has to go first."
"Tris," Christina groans. "Whatever, you're just lying to yourself."
No I'm not. I am done with love.
All I ever really wanted
In this short life was you
Tobias's POV
I am in love. She says she doesn't feel that way back, she says that we're just friends. I don't believe her. It's been about three months since we started hanging out with each other, and I almost can't control myself around her anymore. Every time she gets close enough to my face, I just want to wrap my arms around her and kiss her. I can't stop thinking about her, I just can't.
Some days I do believe she is done with love. But those days are rare, because she flirts with me more than I do with her. I've finally got Eric and his friends to leave her alone. I've noticed she's become more open, she's told me about what Eric has done to her.
If she was my girlfriend, I would never cheat on her like he did. Or force her to do something she didn't want like he did.
I've made my mind up. I'm going to kiss her under the cherry blossoms tomorrow evening. We don't even need to date after that, I just want her to know that I love her.
Tris's POV
We walk hand in through the field of trees. I wonder where he's taking me. I don't really care. I just want to be with him. I'm not done with love.
We both stop walking when we see him in the distance. Eric walks up to us.
"Hello," Eric says. "I see you finally found a new boy toy, Tris." I glare at him.
"Leave us alone, Eric," Tobias growls at him.
"Why should I? You don't deserve her."
"You're right, I don't. I love her and I don't deserve her. But at least I treat her with respect unlike you."
Eric shoves Tobias and he stumbles back a bit. Eric throws the first punch that Tobias dodges. Tobias throws Eric to the ground and starts punching him until I have to pull him off, until Eric's face is no longer flesh colored, until a heavy stream of blood flows out of Eric's nose.
"Tris I'm so sorry," he says as we stand outside my dorm.
"Don't apologize," I take a step closer to him. "I should be thanking you for defending me. I should be thanking you for helping me realize that I'm not really done with love."
"What do you—" I cut him off by pressing my lips to his.
I can't be done with love, when I have found someone who is willing to fight for me, someone who really loves me. I was never done with love, I just hadn't found the right one. And now I have.