xxx
1
xxx
In every step I take, I can hear my heart beat pounding louder in my ears. It's like the first day of school all over again, only a little more scary.
"It's okay," Alfred tells me, as we both walk side by side. "I looked out for ya, don't worry."
I find myself nodding, I want to believe in his reassurance but at the same time I'm afraid of the worst. It's hard being out of school for so long. There's so many changes in school status that if you're not there yourself to protect your reputation, it's hard to say where you'll be when you get back. God knows you don't want to end up being the outcast pariah of the seventh grade.
A few weeks ago, Arthur had convinced the entire student body that Francis attended all kinds of perverted parties where they had orgies and things like that while he was out with the flu. Everyone had avoided him because they were afraid they were going to catch AIDS or something, and like always, it got to the point where everyone treated him like the plague. Cat calling insults from across the halls and making a big show of how disgusted they were if he even stood near them. It got to the point where people started getting physical with him, even actively going out of their way to look for him just to hassle him and push him around.
From what Alfred had told me though, Karma seemed to have gotten back at Arthur.
"Okay, there he is," says Alfred. "Remember, don't talk to him."
I don't really know how it happened exactly, what went down that made Arthur the outcast this time around. All I got from Alfred while I was stuck in bed was that someone finally caught Arthur talking to himself whenever he thought no one was looking, and that just fueled the talk about him being a lot more unbalanced than everyone already thought. I don't think he's unbalanced though. I think he's just lonely.
We have to pass him by on the way to homeroom, he's sitting against one of the pillars in the hallway with a scowl on his face and his legs spread out. Already there are kids telling him stuff. Asking him where his strait jacket is, how the loony bin was, and why'd they let out a crazy like him. It'll get worse later on, it's still morning and their cruel hasn't set in yet.
I let Alfred walk a little ahead of me, he doesn't really notice, which is okay with me. Arthur keeps his head down when he walks by, and he only lifts it up a bit when I stop in front of him.
"Hey, Arthur," I greet and I think he's kinda happy about it. I can't really see past the surprise in his eyes. I don't get to hear if he bothers to say anything back though. Before Alfred can turn around to see how far behind I am from him, I speed up next to him again. He didn't even really notice, thankfully enough.
Honestly, I think Arthur has an imaginary friend. Someone he can tell everything to, even though they're not technically real. And not that I think there's something wrong with that or anything, I mean, I'm talking to you so who am I to judge, right? But yeah, either way, I won't say that out loud, I don't think he'd appreciate something that could further his whole exile. Not when there's even a video of him actually doing it.
The minute we're closer to our section of the school we see that Feliks and Francis are standing outside their homeroom door, smiling and chatting, like if those few weeks of us completely ignoring him hadn't happened at all and make for their direction automatically. It's never happened to me, the whole being bullied thing. Mostly because Alfred helps with that and has me tag along in anything he does. The worst I've ever been called has been his shadow. That's been going on for so long though, it's not even anything big.
Anyway, it's never happened to me, so I don't know how Francis is doing it. I don't know if I'd be able to brush it off like he does, or if I'd be able to go back to the friends who aren't even really friends. I don't think I've ever seen him and Arthur hang out like friends, more like people who just put up with each other because they'd rather be in the same circle than be one of those outside and therefore below everyone else they know. That's why I don't think it's strange for Arthur to talk to himself, and why I think he's lonely. I think Francis is lonely too, and Feliks.
I look at Alfred, already he's talking quickly and rushed, not really saying anything but wanting to be in the conversation so says everything, like he wants them to know and noticed that he is there with them, in front of them, and I think he's lonely too. I know I am, some of the time anyway. Mostly I try not to think about it too much, it makes it easier to just keep quiet about it all.
"Gilbert totes called me last night and said he has something major planned," says Feliks. His blonde hair smells like pink and there's three heart shaped stickers plastered around his right eye. He's wearing a plaid skirt today, a blue one and white stockings. The sweater he wears doesn't match, it's too violet to be complimenting, but whatever.
"He called me too," says Francis and flips his own long hair back theatrically. Whenever I'm around him he reminds me of our mom's bathroom. There's always something sweet-scented around him, like flowers but not. It's subtle, but it's nice and I like it. I told him that once, he just patted me on the head and told me I was a sweet boy. But he was smiling, and he looked like he meant it, so I think that's something. "He sounded excited."
"He didn't call me," Alfred puts in, and he sounds like it's no big deal, but his crossed arms hid the drumming fingers he always does when he's nervous. Being left out of something like this always tends to worry him. Like he's afraid it means he's losing part of his status or something. "Huh, wonder why he didn't call me."
He did, and I told him that, he doesn't remember, but I did. I answered the phone when Gilbert called, he thought I was Alfred and I didn't bother to correct him. It was only a minute conversation anyway and he didn't give any time to get a word in edgewise anyway, so it didn't matter.
Feliks starts to wave and I don't even have to turn in the direction he waves in like the others do to know who he's saying hello to, but I do anyway, just to keep with them.
It's not that I don't understand how it works, whoever brings down the one on top is the one that replaces them, but I still think it's stupid. Shouldn't there be an actual hierarchy system if this is the way our school life is going to be? Then again, I suppose that since it's only a mock structure created by a bunch of thirteen year olds who've been blindly following the way things have been since who really knows when, it doesn't matter to anyone. It does to me though, and I think it should to everyone. Either that or I've just been paying too much attention in History.
Gilbert Beilschmidt, first time member of our group of close acquaintanceship and suddenly the leader of the pack by his being in the right place at the right time with a phone to record takes up the entire hallway when he walks. He doesn't seem to have a problem with strolling right up to us like nothing, his bag hangs off from one shoulder and his pace is strong and even confident, but his stance is so guarded when he finally stops in front of the door and the sunglasses he wears hides his eyes in a way that I can't really tell how he feels.
"Waddup, bitches," he says and tilts his glasses down just enough to see the top of his eyes from above the rim. I've never seen his eyes up close, and I've never seen eyes like them. They're like the inside of a grape fruit, shiny and red, and it makes me think of sugar. Gilbert's probably not like sugar though. Maybe one of those artificial sweeteners? But those still taste like sugar... "Who's the newbie?"
"I'm not new," I tell him. "I've always been here."
"You've been out though, yeah?" he keeps on asking. A very malicious looking smile's thrown at me. "Weren't getting into things you shouldn't've, right?"
Alfred laughs and slings his arms around my shoulders. "Mattie's been out in the hospital the past few days. Had to get his tonsils taken out, which was totally wicked cool, by the way. I told him he should've brought them home in a jar when they offered, imagine bringing those to school!"
Alfred's always been like that, always saying stuff for me so that I don't end up like the Arthur of today or the Francis of yesterday... or the Gilbert of always. Truth is, Gilbert's never been bullied, but he's never had friends either. Gilbert's always been just there, roaming the field during breaks by himself because everyone's always ignored him and that's just the way it is. But it's not like he's ever done anything to change that either. Whenever we picked for teams in gym, he'd walk the court or walk the track, anything to get out of playing.
It seems like he's forgotten that, and I would tell him that too, but I can't. So I don't. He's in charge right now, won't be for long, it never is, so for now just whatever.
"Yeah," I continue on with what Alfred had started saying. "Our mom didn't want them in the house so I had to leave them in the hospital though. Still came out pretty good though, don't have to do any of the homework I missed."
"Nice," Gilbert approves and nods his head. He shifts his bag and to everyone else says, "Unfortunately guys, the showing of my grand master scheme's gonna have to wait till later. It's something so top secret it's gotta be shown outside of school."
"What is it?" asks Francis.
"That's for me to know and for you to find out later." It's cryptic and a wink's thrown in there to show how much of a promise it all is. "Let you guys know right now though, we're definitely gonna get the better end of the deal."
Alfred fist pumps into the air and shouts out, "Awesome!" while Francis claps in this way he always does when showing his excitement and Feliks just puts his hands on his hips and smirks. They look at me and I don't know what to do. It can't be that intense, it's only been three days since he's actually talked to anyone, what could he possibly be doing that benefits everyone when he doesn't know everyone? Can't keep doing nothing though, so I just try to look as interested as possible.
Gilbert's eyes narrow and it leaves me thinking that it wasn't the best choice, but he doesn't say anything. He just pushes his glasses back up and shifts his bag up higher. Before the whole thing can become more awkward, the first bell rings, a signal for the five of us to split up already.
"Ah, man," Alfred grouses. "That's lame. See you guys later?"
Both Francis and Feliks agree of course, what else could the do? They both give quick byes to us and file into their classroom, Gilbert starts to walk down the hallway with Alfred keeping pace with him and I just follow the two of them a step or two behind. Alfred's class is only three doors down, so when we reach it, he ducks in quick with a "See you later!" and leaves Gilbert and me alone.
He looks like he wants to ask me something, and at this point, the only question that would make sense would be to ask which room was mine. Except we've been in the same homeroom since the beginning of the year and that would be stupid. Whatever look I'm wearing must say something like that, because his jaw clenches and he moves faster for the class four doors down and on the opposite side without even waiting for me to catch up.
I know I should be worried. That if I don't play along with him it could mean social suicide, but really, I can only think about how this whole reign of King Gilbert is going to feel like the longest one I've ever been through.
xxx
Disclaimer: Bloody bunnies in the road really rips my heart to pieces.
-So one of my friends came across Lick the Star on Youtube and linked it to me last December because we have a bit of an inside thing with it. Then we started comparing it to how when we first watched it at whatever age to our age now and then to our own middle school experiences and then decided to Hetalify it using fanfiction.
-Because I was unemployed, she was on Winter Break, and we're living on opposite sides of the nation, so it seemed like a really good idea.
-We didn't finish it, but I dug it out to refine, so here's the first chapter and I'll be finishing the others as well.
-It's gonna be a relatively short series. With a soundtrack. Once I figure out how to work MediaFire.
