.

Handwritten
"You've Made A Believer Out of Me"

Castle thumbs his phone again, watching as the screen brightens to reveal the time above Kate's wide, radiant smile.

He blows a breath out through pursed lips. It's still 10:42. Just like the last four times he checked. He's ready to go; why isn't the clock cooperating?

It's only a five minute limo ride from his Edwardian suite at The Plaza to the New York Public Library, so he can't leave just yet. She won't let him live it down if he shows up too pathetically early for this.

His wedding.

His wedding to Kate Beckett.

He doesn't have anything left to do; his hair is perfect, his shoes are polished, but he just can't stop moving. He's done this twice before, but damn if it doesn't feel like the first time.

Well, she is going to be the first Mrs. Castle. He'd wholly expected her to keep her own name, hadn't even planned to ask, but her new business cards arrived early and he'd seen them on her desk before she could hide them and he'd nearly had a heart attack. He had tried to thank her late that night in the darkened privacy of their (their) bedroom, tried to keep it together, but there was no fooling her. She'd tasted his tears when he kissed her.

Mrs. Katherine Castle.

Detective Kate Castle, NYPD.

The thought still brings him to his knees.

His hands are shaking. His nerves are really getting the best of him today, but not in a bad way. No cold feet here - in fact he'd say his are on fire. Early in their relationship, he had struggled with the feeling of being in an exquisite dream from which he would wake at any minute. It had taken months to shake. Now the feeling is back in full force. When he woke up this morning, there was a knot of anticipation in his stomach tighter than all his Christmas mornings combined, even the one when he'd given Alexis her first American Girl Doll (complete with a doll-sized four poster bed and a tea set and a lamb named Posie).

10:44. At last, it's an acceptable time to go collect his daughter and mother from their rooms. Castle takes his black tux jacket off of its padded silk hanger and slips his arms inside, adjusting the collar of his crisp white shirt yet again. Something crinkles against his chest. Must be the dry cleaning receipt. He reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a thin white envelope. His fingertip traces the neatly printed block letters - CASTLE - where they're centered perfectly on the paper. He'd recognize her handwriting anywhere.

He consults his phone again. So maybe he'll only be half an hour early. He has to read this - Kate's never written him anything.

He sits on the edge of the bed and breaks the seal. Images of her pink tongue darting out to lick the minty paper momentarily distract him. With some effort, he blinks the vision away and unfolds a sheet of yellow legal pad paper.

Castle,

(Should it be Rick now? I think you'll always be Castle to me.)

You know me. So you know that I do not do this (write) for just anyone. And you also know that if you tell anyone about this moment of weakness I will get my hands on some Scopolamine and finally commit the perfect crime.

I wouldn't really, though, because I kind of like you.

But seriously, this cannot be seen by anyone but you.

Now that that's out of the way. On with the sap.

Castle, sometimes I can't fathom how much my life has changed since you came into it. I was a shell. If someone had told me the day I arrested you at the Storm Fall party that I was looking at the man who would become my partner in every way possible, my husband, and my soulmate (don't look so shocked - I should have known you'd make a believer out of me), I would have laughed in their faces. Now look at us. I smile and laugh more in a day with you than in the entire decade before I met you.

Since it's our wedding day, I thought I'd make a couple of confessions. I can't think of a better gift, really. For the man who has everything, all you've ever wanted from me is…more juicy info about me. So you're going to love this. I do realize I'm going to regret writing this. I'll probably have to find this letter and burn it so you don't whip it out and and wave it around when I inevitably deny the things I'm about to tell you.

Here goes.

I have always wanted you, from the moment I flashed my badge at you. It's not my fault, it's your damn shoulders. And biceps, and…okay, that's enough of that. I think you know by now how much I appreciate your body. And after I found out what you can do to me with it, God, I stood no chance. I know I said it's not that hard to keep my hands to myself at the precinct, but it is. It truly is.

In the beginning, when you annoyed the hell out of me, I used to go home, lock my door, and let myself laugh belatedly at your jokes. Sometimes it was hard to hold it in all day, to not let you see how funny I thought you were. Sometimes I still do that, and I'm sorry. I wasn't lying when I told you that you make my job a little more fun. You make my life more fun.

What else…I thought about our first kiss in that alley every day until I kissed you again in your loft. You were right. It was amazing. I'd been able to compartmentalize my feelings for you up until then. But that kiss - that's when I started closing my eyes whenever a certain other person touched me. I couldn't stop comparing him to you. You asked me once if I ever accidentally said your name when I was with him. I told you no, and it wasn't really a lie, but the first syllable definitely made it out as a whisper a few times. And okay, yes, your whole name when I was alone.

I think that's quite enough to fuel your ego for now. Maybe you'll get a few more confessions for our ten year anniversary. Shush. I can already hear you groaning with impatience.

But what I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making my life better. For helping me find myself again. For being ridiculous. Thank you for giving me your family. You've been my family for a long time now, and I can't imagine a better one to belong to.

You've had my back for six years. Today is my promise to you that I'll have your back from here on out.

Now get your ass to the library and marry me.

- Kate

Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading my debut story - I've been a silent member of this fandom for a long time and I'm excited/nervous to be finally sharing my work. I have some juicy M fics in the pipeline, so keep your eyes peeled if you're interested in that.

Special thanks to Dmarx for beta reading this one :)

I write for two reasons - to entertain you lovely readers and to become a better writer, so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

- Bri x