A/N Based on something I'd love to see on the show: basically Ste and Rhys coming up with a drinks promotion that irritates Brendan. Set in a period of time where Ste and Brendan are in a relationship.
Kissing Promotion
"Tastes like piss!"
The bottle of reddish liquid was discarded to one side and Ste's tongue writhed in disgust. The drink left him with a chalky aftertaste that no screwing up of his face could get rid of.
"And when have you ever tasted piss, eh?" Rhys asked with an eye roll that more often than not got directed towards Ste.
"Nur, it's just a sayin' innit?" Ste said with a shrug, disappearing off to the side to swill water round his mouth.
"They're not that bad," Rhys said trying his best to disguise a wince when he took a swig himself.
"Come off it, they're rank."
It had been Rhys' smart (or not so) idea to promote a new red coloured drink for Valentine's Day and Cheryl – her way of making amends for the leftover animosity from what happened with Gilly – had left him in charge of ordering the new stock. Bulldozing ahead with his plans, he hadn't trialled any, nor run it by Brendan first. The first Brendan knew of this new promotion was when he almost tripped on the box that was left precariously outside the office.
His face already told his bar staff everything they needed to know about his current mood, even before he'd tripped. Ste's face told the same story – what Cheryl called a lovers' tiff - and something she'd warned them about leaving outside the club doors.
The main problem with the pair of them that they were both stubborn – so much so that neither would apologise and a day long argument would bubble over into three days until aggression and frustration was acted out in the best way they knew how: sex. Lying sweaty and breathless on top of each other usually satisfied any sort of apology and it was back to the unconventional relationship they'd forged. Until of course Brendan freaked out over mention of the 'boyfriend' word and Ste's inane grinning at him when they were in public together. Or Ste got narky when Brendan muscled in and cancelled any plans he'd made with Cheryl so that Ste could work at the club with him instead, or if Brendan got too aggressive with a lad that might have eyed Ste up in the club. It was never anything major – they were getting there – even if Ste preferred to talk about things and Brendan just preferred fucking. It was the way it had always been and it was unlikely to change any time soon.
And on the odd occasion – usually when Brendan had shagged his way to satisfaction – he'd surprise Ste and they'd surprise each other with just how normal things could be. Brendan snored and Ste dribbled and Brendan ate too much and Ste left socks everywhere. You're a pig. You're a little slob, Stephen. Then a smile. It was still mostly intense and moody with him, but he saw a smile now and again. Made it more special when he did smile, Ste thought.
This time this "lover's tiff" had been over Brendan's jealousy issues. They'd rowed previous night when Ste had been over at Brendan's, all over a stupid phone call Ste had had with an old friend of his called Natty who was in the area and invited Ste for a catch-up. Brendan had snatched the phone from him, irritated that he had no idea who this Natty lad was or why he was trying to meet up with Ste. Furious that Brendan had tried to control him, Ste left abruptly and headed home, cutting short their night together.
Ste was thinking about their argument just as Brendan launched himself at Rhys, grabbing the front of Rhys' work t-shirt.
"What the hell do you think you're playing it? I almost broke me neck!"
Ste tried to intervene by pushing Brendan off Rhys and with a look of annoyance at Ste, Brendan picked Rhys up off his feet a little and pushed him back.
"Sort out this fucking mess. I want all these boxes gone." Brendan picked up one of the red alco-pops and took a swig before spitting the rest of his mouthful back into the bottle. "And get rid of all of this shit by tonight. I don't care how, just do it. Otherwise any left overs will be comin' out of both your wages!"
"What?" Ste cried.
"I ain't got time for your whinging," he said, striding back into the confines of his office.
Rhys slumped over the bar, "Great. That's just great!"
"It was your idea, idiot!" Ste said, shoving Rhys in the shoulder.
"What are you worried about? Even if he does dock your wages you get more than me and Jacqui put together." Rhys said, adding grumpily, "And we all know why that is don't we?"
Ste began unloading bottles. "Don't," he said, knowing it was a lie.
"Er yeah you do. We do all the hard graft, you get summoned to the office oh and there's twenty quid extra,"
Ste shot him a glare. "D'you really wanna be insinuating, Rhys? Cos I've seen you fight and you hit like a big girl,"
Wife beater.
Sister shagger.
Those were the insults on their lips.
Rhys sighed, looking at the bar full of boxes. "Alright, I might be an idiot but I know better than to pick a fight with the boss' boyfriend."
"He'd kill ya," Ste said, half joking.
"I know. What's up with you two today anyway? You're worse than normal."
"Argument,"
"Again?" Rhys asked, "I thought women were bad."
Ste began collecting the empty cardboard boxes and flattened them. "Well you ain't met Brendan then."
\x\
The idea was simple. Buy a bottle of the red stuff, get a kiss (on the cheek). Cheryl provided costumes – hideous, hideous costumes – and Rhys and Ste begged Jacqui and Mitzeee to play along for the evening.
On first sight of the costumes (red boxers and glittered red hearts tied placard-style around their chests) Rhys and Ste flat out refused, horrified that they'd even be expected to wear them. But it was surprising how quickly they emerged from the Men's Toilets when faced with three women who didn't take no for an answer.
"This is officially the worst day of my life," Rhys said as the night rolled on and rowdy students had grabbed his arse. Jacqui had been on hand to ensure the girls didn't get too carried away.
"We're never gonna shift all this lot," Ste said with a groan, wiping lipstick from his cheek just as another set of girls waved notes in their faces.
Ste had half-hoped Brendan might have come and rescued him from the ordeal but he wasn't working the late shift and had sulked off home when Ste had been on a break before they re-opened. Besides, although he kept wavering on his resolve, he'd argued with himself not to let Brendan swan back in so easily – he needed to know Ste could and would have friends who he wanted to see now and again and Brendan would have to just deal with it.
He was brought out of his thoughts when Mitzeee trotted over, licking her lips and raising her eyebrows with a flash of gossip in her expression. She led a young lad by the hand.
"This one's for you sweetcheeks," she said to Ste, "Apparently these just don't do it for him," she gave her breasts a jangle.
She left them to it and Ste gave an awkward smile to the guy who was leaning over-confidently onto the bar.
"That'll be four quid then mate," Ste said, handing over a bottle and the briefest of kisses to his cheek.
"What about a fiver and you give me your phone number?"
"Four quid. And no, I'm taken."
The guy handed Ste four pounds. "Worth a try," he said with a wink.
As he left, Ste caught sight of someone who'd been watching the whole exchange and braced himself. Brendan approached in jeans and a shirt Ste had once named as his favourite of Brendan's.
"I'll have what he had," Brendan said without a hello. He laid a crisp twenty on the bar top.
Ste opened the bottle and handed it to him anxiously. Brendan turned to one side, handed a pretty girl the drink. "On the house, gorgeous," he said and then turned back to Ste.
He took a look at Ste, face serious even as he glanced over the ridiculous outfit. He pulled Ste forward by the heart placard.
"Twenty quid's worth," he said, crashing his mouth against Ste's. Ste raised himself up over the bar with his palms, feeling Brendan's hands caress his neck and fingers glide through the short crop of his hair. His tongue worked against Ste's and he was sure he heard Brendan groan over the loud throb of music.
When they parted, Brendan pressed his mouth to Ste's ear. "What the fuck are you wearing?"
"It was Cheryl's idea," Ste said with a laughter.
"She's a twisted woman," he said, "Get us a proper drink, will ya?"
As Ste was about to turn to get the whiskey from the shelf, Brendan touched his hand very briefly – one PDA a night was his limit on the nights he could bring himself to do it.
"I've given you tomorrow night off. To meet your mate," Brendan said. "Or another night if you want."
Ste smiled. "Ta," he said. He knew Brendan would spend the night pacing and drinking and texting but it was an improvement to keeping him away from any friends.
Ste made him his drink and handed him back the money – it was his club after all. Brendan took a swig, giving Ste a final eyeball.
"You've got customers," he said, adopting a slightly softer boss-tone. "And Stephen, don't bother getting changed before you come over,"
Ste knew what that look meant, as Brendan left to cross over to the other side of the room to see his sister, and he shivered with anticipation.