I simply opened the dictionary and flipped through the pages, getting random words and did this.
Hope you enjoy. ^_^
It sets me agog when there's a murder, when there's a case to work on.
A case it's always something bracing; helps my brain from rooting, from being of control, from wandering into collision routes.
The constabulary never seems to understand my excitement. Say that I'm a freak, that I'm cold, and yet they admire my ways of thinking. I can't follow the logic of that, honestly.
Having a case is having a deliciously complicated puzzle before me. I know it sounds impossible, but it's as if it compels me to solve it.
So, for the police force I do an epitome and carry on with investigations on my own. My very loyal fusilier friend always accompanies me.
I grant myself only a certain amount of time to crack the mystery of the murder. Racing against time keeps me busy, keeps me from falling into humdrum.
I run every clue from A to Izzard. It's jussive that I find who the killer is. I have that knack of deducting everything and everyone is seconds so I pressure myself to be quick.
And I always count on John, who I know will never leave me in the lurch. Sometimes I get megalomaniac and he doesn't let me get lost. But I envy him. I wish I could be like him. I'm a nightfall, I'm out of order and I've got no fix. But it's okay, I'm fine with it.
And that gets me thinking of the paradox that my life is. What keeps me alive and excited to live another day is somebody else's death. What makes me feel free is helping Lestrade putting criminals to quod.
And after all it's over, I succumb again to boredom. Everything I know is acquired knowledge, but it's not learnt by rote. I comprehend what my memory stores. I just don't need to think much and I sometimes I wish I needed time to think and let the thoughts sink in.
Sometimes I wish I was sheer. But then I remember I have John. We're a twain, I don't need to be 'the heart', I have to be the brains. And truth is that that balance is what makes us unstoppable.
I've became much more vigilant unlike many think. I can't withstand thinking that John gets in the harm's way because of me. I must keep him safe from dangers, incognito dangers that express themselves in several people and risks. It doesn't matter the situation, if it's X, Y or Z, I can't let him get hurt because of my recklessness.
Yore he used to be his own vigilante. I think now he believes he has me too for protection, just like he so zealously has my back.
How come I've drifted this much? I was explaining what it feels to have a case…
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