The Bad Ass Chemistry Class With Capitan Mayuri Kurotsuchi
I sat down as the tardy bell rang, though no one was late today. Chemistry, it was the most useless and boring subject taught at the Soul Reaper Academy only to be made duller by a new teacher. My friends, Ruketsueki and Peako, had joined me at the small four-man table at the back of the room. Both just as bored as I was.
"Hey Akasuki, have you heard who the new teacher's supposed to be?" Peako asked.
"I heard a rumor that it was one of the Captains." Ruketsueki said.
"That's what I heard too," I said "But Raven told me it was the Capitan of squad twelve."
"You mean Mayuri Kurotsuchi? But he's horrible, he sacrifices his men and uses people in his experiments." Ruketsueki yelled, though the volume of the other students almost drowned him out completely.
"Maybe he wont be so bad, we'll just have boring old class as usual." Peako said. I doubted this but didn't voice my concerns for at that moment Mayuri Kurotsuchi entered the room. He was followed by his "daughter" Nemu and, to my surprise, Raven who quickly walked to the back of the room and sat at our table. Everyone was completely silent, awaiting the punishment for talking to loud. He smiled widely at the look of terror on the faces of his students before approaching the board and pulling on the string of the overhead projector screen. Behind it were several lists along with his name.
"My, my, twenty four of you this should be interesting. I'm Capitan Mayuri Kurotsuchi and I will be teaching you chemistry. Before we get started there are some things you should know, you will refer to me as Capitan Kurotsuchi, I will attempt to learn your names if you make it through the first two weeks of class. We will meet for class in my lab unless I tell you otherwise, there will be no homework and no tests in this class." There was an outburst of joyful talk at this, though the class was quiet again in seconds.
"Oh you poor doomed children." He said, more to himself then to us. " These are the things in my class that might kill you." he said pointing to the first list then read them off.
"Violent explosions, poisonous fumes, and experiments that involve human test subjects." He pointed to the second list.
"These are things you could do that would make me kill you. Passing notes, talking, making up nicknames for me, sucking up to me to get an A, asking me if I'm a robot and asking me if you can see my real face. Any questions?" He asked looking around the room. Silence then the bell rang. The classroom was within fifteen seconds with the exception of Peako, Ruketsueki, Raven, and I. Capitan Kurotsuchi looked at us like we all had some horrible mental disorder before walking over to his desk and beginning to write in some sort of journal.
"So what exactly are you doing here Raven? I thought you made it into Kenpachi's squad." Peako said as we exited the room.
"Well I did but because I did really bad on my first mission he's making me take lessons on how to do different things from all the Captains. Mayu- I mean Capitan Kurotsuchi is teaching me methods of torture but he thought it would be good for me to take his chemistry class too." He said smiling.
"This is going to be interesting." Ruketsueki said and we all agreed.
Mayuri's Log: Day 1
Day 1 went as expected. My little test subj- I mean students were all so happy to see that I was their new teacher. Their faces were priceless. I look forward to turning all those little pacifists into sadists but we'll see. Nemu thinks it's cruel of me to use them, as material for experiments but it will be entertaining. I'm almost looking forward to tomorrow; I want to see their faces when I tell them I put bombes under their desks.