What is love?
The greatest love of all is learning how to love yourself.
What is love?
When someone helps you up when you fall, is this love?
When someone offers the last piece of cookie to you when food is scarce, is this love?
When someone forsaken their future to make a new one with you, is this love?
When someone abandons everything behind, the past, the future and everything else in the world, just to save you and only you, is this love?
When someone hates themselves because they fail to protect you, is this love?
Homura knows what love is. Her heart is now dried up, weak and hard. All the love, courage and empathy have been poured into this being named Kaname Madoka. Homura clearly knows what love is since she have given her all because she loves her very much. This is love. This is love.
When there is no more love, there is only hate.
Homura have put all her love on that one person and suffers a burden to fulfil a promise of a lifetime, literally a life time. But she fails in many ways and fails a lot of times. And because she loves that girl too much, all there is left in her heart was hate. Her heart is pumping hard, strong and forceful. All the hate, disdain and resentment have been inflicted upon herself. Because there is no longer love in her heart to love herself anymore. There is only hate. There is only hate.
Homura stares at the stars in the sky. She counts and there is only two visible stars that she can see with the naked eye. She wishes that the stars she sees is herself, and the other one can be Kaname Madoka because it will be wonderful. The vast sky belongs to them, only them and they will dance everyday together, smiling happily without a worry in the world. No witches, no Incubators, no despair, no tears. Everything is beautiful.
It is impossible. There is no way for them to be happy together because the stars will forever be so distant from each other, so far away from each other for eternity. But this seems to fit them perfectly though, oh the irony.
.
.
What is love?
Love is when two people compromise for each other.
Love is when two people love everything about each other.
Love is when two people sacrifice for each other.
Love is when two people neglect their own feelings to save, to protect, to give in to the other person.
Love is for two people. Two people.
Homura knows what love is. She knows it so damn well. However, long time ago, she once felt loved before. She felt it, felt it deep in her bone like she never experienced before. She loved it, she still loves it even after so long. That is why Homura continues to give out all her love, so that one day she can be loved back like that very day.
But love works between two people, just like how it takes two hands to clap and the problem is that all these while, she is the only one giving, but never receive. In the end, she have nothing to give anymore and her heart is still empty with nothing but hate.
Hate, only hate. That is why she can't love herself because she don't have love. Hate is all she have left, hate is the only thing she can feel in her heart.
She hates herself for failing.
She hates herself for being useless
She hates herself for being a burden.
She hates herself.
She hates herself.
Homura sat on a bench nearby and stare up at the sky again. There is clouds around and the two stars are being blocked by it so she closes her eyes and decides to imagine the stars instead.
The two stars she is imagining are shining bright, very bright, even brighter than any stars in the universe.
She wants to shine bright like the other star, the one that keeps on running away from her and leaving her alone for other people. She wants to be by her side forever, happily by each other side forever and ever and ever.
But it's okay if it's not possible. Definitely, it's still alright for Homura. As long as that star continues to live on and shine, nothing else matters anymore. Even if Homura's star dies and the other one lives, it's alright.
It's alright.
It's really alright.
Because that's how love works right?
Homura have given all her love to that Kaname Madoka because she loves her so much, so much that it's alright for her to die while the other lives because Homura just loves Kaname Madoka so much more than herself.
There is only hatred for left for herself.
All her love... All her love is gone.
.
.
Homura wants it back.
Homura wants everything back.
Her love, her time, her future, her past, her everything.
Homura deserves better.
.
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What is love?
.
.
Homura opened her eyes as she watches her crown-like soul gem floating out from her hand as it dances over her fingers and then to her other hand. Her lips turned into a sinister smile, so wide and curled. She blinked slowly as she stood up from her bench and started dancing on her own.
.
.
Love is all about loving yourself. Homura have learnt after so many painful lessons. Love is not about how you give or sacrifice for another.
Love, is all about yourself because the greatest love of all is learning how to love yourself.
Homura have created the world she loves for her own sake and this will be her own world that she will rule in her own favours. Who cares about enemies, who cares about other people? Who cares who she hurts? Who cares?
This is where everything starts.
a/n:
yea