Warning: The following Fan Fiction contains suicide, angst, sex and dark topics.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. Sorry JKR, I killed one of your characters. =/
All her memories were forgotten as he pounded into her. All she could think about was the present, him thrusting his pelvis forward and her letting out incoherent strings of words.
"Hermione, Say my name…" A man with silvery blond hair said as he teased her entrance with the tip of his manhood.
"Draco… Please…" Hermione moaned feeling empty, she wanted him into her. She wanted him to push inside of her hard and deep. She wanted him to feel the pleasure she was feeling and to release inside of her. All she wanted was to do this every moment of their lives.
Draco obliged, he wasted no time and pushed into her as hard as he could causing her to shudder with excitement and let out a guttural moan. She threw her head back and blacked out.
-Present-
Hermione woke up with a start. She has been having the same dreams for years. You would think that they would stop causing that sort of reaction, but she still woke up with tears flowing down her cheeks and her lungs feeling as though they were about to collapse.
She hated herself. The great Hermione Granger, a necessary component of the Golden Trio, now crying over memories of the man she lost to another woman.
She got up and followed the same routine she has had for the past few years. She dragged her heavy feet and heart over to the bathroom. She stared into the mirror. Nothing had changed, she still had bags under her eyes and the same sunken expression. Her hair, once a curly mess, now lay limp and lifeless. Her lips, once full and rosy red, now two tiny, sour slits, chapped and pale.
She splashed water on her face, not once removing her gaze from her forlorn face. She did not even blink, in fear that should she look away, she would become even more undesirable and miserable.
She was still young, only 27 years old, but she felt as though she had nothing left to live for. Not only had Draco abandoned her, but her friends had abandoned her when she chose to marry Draco. What a mistake. She thought bitterly. What happened to being so damn smart?
She could still hear Draco's taunting voice, the love it once held for her, "I do." But alas, those words had meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. He left her without looking back once, nor calling her to see if she was ok, or even alive. That was two years ago. They had been married for 6 years. Her parents thought she had been crazy, getting married at 19. No one gets married that young. But Hermione had been so sure. She knew after two years of dating, that Draco was the one she had wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
And Draco had had those thoughts in the beginning too. He came running to her on the last day of school begging for forgiveness, and begging for her to date him. Stupidly, she agreed. She had been only 17, young and foolish. Young and foolish…
-Past-
"Do you, Hermione Granger, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The minister asked Hermione. She gazed at the man she loved. He looked so stunning in a black tux, and his hair combed back. He was sophisticated and elegant, everything she hoped to someday be.
"I do." She confirmed looking deep into his eyes. Draco smiled.
"Do you, Draco Malfoy, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The minister asked turning to Draco.
"I do." He said without a second's hesitation. He smiled triumphantly as though she was some sort of prize, when in actuality, Hermione's heart was fluttering. She could not believe that she had Draco, the Slytherin Sex God, all to herself. Forever.
At age 19, forever seemed like a relative number. It didn't have an impact on the both of them. They did not know what they were getting themselves into. It meant being faithful and loyal. It meant being in love for the rest of their lives. Could they do that? At the moment they thought they could, and they did. For three years.
-Past-
She knew she had disappointed him the first time in bed. She had wanted to wait until their wedding night before losing her virginity. Draco agreed, thinking that this act was adorable, and excited to be the first (and hopefully last) man to corrupt the Gryffindor Princess.
Once in the Malfoy Manor, Draco carried her to his bedroom. Hermione giggled all the way there, her heart beating rapidly with anticipation.
He slammed the door closed and turned towards her, tossing his clothes in a messy pile in the center of the room.
Her eyes widened as she noticed his manhood. She had never seen a man's organ before, so she had nothing to judge by, but Draco wasn't called the Slytherin Sex God for nothing. He was huge. She briefly wondered how he would fit inside her.
"Don't worry, it will fit." Draco assured her, taking note of her worried expression. He advanced towards her and skillfully removed her dress. He carefully hung it on a hanger in order to ensure that is doesn't get messy, it was a beautiful (and expensive) dress.
After that, he took in her appearance. She was wearing a sexy white lacy bra, with a matching thong that barely covered anything. He felt as though he was opening a present as he eagerly tore off her bra, her ample and pale breasts exposed. Draco gently squeezed her soft mounds, and pushed her back onto his bed.
She moaned softly, as one of his hands caressed her inner thigh, very close to her clad intimate area. She gasped when his hand pushed aside her thong and rubbed softly against her folds, which were already wet.
He smirked as he felt how wet she was. There would clearly be no need for lubrication. He kissed her fully on the lips, pressing his naked body against hers.
"Draco…" She moaned softly, breaking the kiss.
He looked at her, not stopping his caressing of her folds. "Yes my love?" He asked her.
"Will…. W-will it… hurt?" She asked timidly.
He nodded. "I'll go slow and easy, I promise." He told her.
She nodded fearfully. "I trust you." she replied.
Her worries were erased the next second, as one of his fingers penetrated her intimate area. She had not been expecting that.
She moaned loudly, as she felt a new type of pleasure, one that she had never even imagined existed.
She attacked his lips and allowed his tongue to explore her mouth.
"Hermione… Are you ready?" He asked her softly. She nodded without hesitation. She was more than ready, she was ready to show him how much she loved him no matter the pain.
He removed her thong and tossed it aside. He gazed lovingly at her intimate folds. Never had he seen such a beautiful sex before, all the other girls he had had sex with were not as beautiful as his Hermione. His Hermione…
He positioned his manhood at her entrance. "Ok, Hermione… This might hurt." He warned her, before carefully pushing through her virgin barrier. She arched her back and bit her tongue to prevent herself from screaming.
Tears flowed freely from her eyes. He reached forward and wiped her tears. "Are you ok?" He asked her. Hermione took a while to answer. She nodded, and he continued. She tried to enjoy herself but ended up faking an orgasm. She wasn't sure if he knew, but she knew that he did not fully enjoy himself.
"I'm sorry Draco." She said sadly when he got up to look for clothes.
"For what love?" He asked her nonchalantly.
"For… being lousy." She replied self-consciously.
"Nonsense. You were just fine. Practice makes better love. You of all people should know that, my little perfectionist." He replied looking at her lovingly.
"Thank you my love." She replied giving him a kiss, before heading off to the shower to wash herself.
-Present-
Yes, things were going well. Hermione recalled. She had been staring into her reflection for approximately thirty minutes now. She was mesmerized by the ghost of the person she once was, which would occasionally flicker into existence. She was still there. The slightest glimmer of hope.
Hermione finally looked away. She shut her eyes and groaned inwardly. There was no hope for her. She had locked away both her heart and soul after Draco left her. Never again could she love. She could not even imagine having sexual relations with a man other than Draco. She had not had sexual relations since Draco left… two years ago.
-Past-
"Draco… I'm pregnant." Hermione called out from the master bathroom. Draco remained both speechless and motionless.
Hermione peered into the room to see if he was still there. He was.
"Draco. Did you hear me?" She asked, doubt filling her voice. He finally came to his senses. He ran to her and picked her up kissing her full in the lips.
"Baby, I'm so happy!" He exclaimed spinning her around.
They both celebrated calling both sets of parents to tell them of the news. Unfortunately it was not meant to be.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Malfoy… You lost the baby." A healer said sympathetically.
Hermione's world came crashing down. Draco's heart all but nearly stopped. He rushed to give his wife a hug. "It's ok love, we can try again later." He comforted her. She nodded, soaking his hair with her tears.
"I love you." He told her matter-of-factly.
"I love you too," She replied.
-Present-
Bastard
. She thought angrily. "He told me he loved me!" Hermione cried as she threw a glass cup aimlessly at the wall. This too was a daily ritual. She repaired the cup with a wave of her wand, and proceeded to throw it again. She was a mess, and she knew it. She refused medical help and was thrown further down the road to depression when both of her parents died in a house fire.
"I hate you Draco! I fucking hate you! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!" She cried before collapsing onto the floor.
She remained on the floor, a shaking mass, for a while. How long? She did not know nor care. It would be not too long now before she contemplated suicide again. It was this that had damaged her relationship with Draco. Suicidal tendancies.
-Past-
"HERMIONE! NO!" Draco yelled throwing himself onto Hermione. She yelped as he yanked a bottle of pills from her hand. "Hermione…" He repeated, allowing his normally stoic demeanor to show some pain and sadness.
"I'm sorry Draco… I'm sorry." Hermione sobbed.
"Don't be. Just don't do it again. Please. I can't lose you." He said giving her the biggest, tightest hug he had ever given anyone.
"No. I'm sorry I can't give you a son." She elaborated. He looked at her. This is what all of this is about?
"Hermione, the healer said there may be a chance you can get pregnant." he reminded her.
"But I'll miscarriage like all the other times." She told him angrily.
"Then we will keep on trying, or we will adopt." He said decisively.
"I can't. I can't hold you back. You deserve someone who can give you children, give you an heir, not an infertile mudblood." She cried desperately.
"Hermione." He said taking on an angry tone. "Don't call yourself that. You are not a mudblood. You are better than most purebloods. I'd rather have you and no children, than a stupid pureblood bimbo who can give me more kids than I can imagine."
"Why?" She asked sadly.
"Because I love you." He replied seriously.
-past-
It all changed fives years into their marriage. After several suicide attempts, Draco was tired of this Hermione. Well actually, he started feeling differently about her three years into the marriage, but he felt their marriage bonds breaking further.
"Hermione. I love you, but you need to stop." He told her. She had developed a new problem, she became anorexic. Sex with her wasn't the same anymore. She was unanimated, and her recent development meant that she was so skinny, he was afraid he would break her.
But apparently it was just with him that she was unanimated. He heard it all over the wizarding world.
"Yo, she was amaaaaazing." One wizard exclaimed loudly. He took a swig of firewhiskey.
"Who?" Another wizard inquired curiously.
"I don't know her name, she calls herself Gryffindor Princess." The first wizard replied animatedly.
Draco's heart fell at this exclamation. Only one person carried that nickname. His Hermione.
"Hermione!" Draco called out angrily. He had apparated home right away. He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding fast. He could not believe what he heard. Draco, the Slytherin Sex God, had been loyal throughout their marriage, but his wife, the Gryffindor Princess, had not been…
He felt his heart stop completely as he opened the door to the master bedroom and found that his worst nightmares were confirmed. Hermione was having sex with a man on their marriage bed.
"Hermione!" He called out feeling tears flow from his eyes. He hated himself for allowing himself to show signs of weakness.
"Draco!" Hermione called out, clearly surprised. She covered her thin anorexic body from view as the man who had just had his penis inside her vagina scrambled to hide himself.
Draco stepped out. He quickly sought out a divorce lawyer. He would not go back home, nor speak to her if his life depended on it. She had ruined their marriage. He had loved her.
She apologized countless times, but he would not forgive her, he could not. He felt stupid for believing that he would find the perfect woman. He was Draco Malfoy, he had done many bad things, and now karma was giving him hell for that.
"She's just a stupid filthy mudblood." he exclaimed before finding Pansy and asking her for forgiveness for abandoning her for the mudblood.
"It's quite fine, Drakie. I knew you would come to your senses. I want you to marry me." Pansy cooed after Draco apologized for his stupidity.
Hermione's heart broke after finding out, nearly a year later, that the divorce was finalized and that Draco, her Draco was marrying Pansy.
-Present-
Since that day, Hermione has been the same, mourning over the lose of her perfect life with Draco, or at least her life with him before the anorexia, suicide attempts, and prostitution.
Today, however, her day turned out different. She received a letter. No one had written her for years. Two years to be exact.
Hermione Granger. It was addressed. She had not changed her name after the divorce, but the letter was addressed to a ms. Granger. That person did not exist. Only Ms. Hermione Malfoy.
But she opened the letter nonetheless.
Hermione,
This feels weird, I haven't spoken to you since… That dreadful day. But something told me to write to you today. Could it be that my marriage with Pansy is loveless and simply a ploy to get back at you? I miss you. I really do. I can only hope that you moved on and have overcome all of your problems. I still love you. But I hope all is well. Again, I'm not sure what possessed me to write to you today… If you are still reading this letter, would you like to have dinner sometime? Catch up on each other's life. Please reply.
Yours always,
Draco.
Yours always, he had written. He just lied to her again. She furiously uncapped an inkwell and angrily wrot3e him a reply letter.
Draco,
No. Draco you are not mine always. You proved that to me after you gave yourself to Pansy. I can't live like this. You have just opened up the old wounds. Good bye Draco dearest. Don't ever write back. I won't be around. Have a great life. I know I certainly will not.
Goodbye,
Hermione.
She took a bottle of her strongest pills. She swallowed them one by one. Last time she attempted this, Draco had been around to stop her, but today he was not there. He wont be there to discover her in the morning, but an auror will be there a few days later. Draco will read into her letter and send an auror to check up on her.
She shuddered violently as she swallowed the last pill. The last thing she remembered was Draco's smiling face. This caused the weirdest reaction in her. As she took her final breath, she smiled. For the first time in many years, she finally smiled.
"I love you Draco." She said to him, wherever he was.
Her mind then went black, and her eyes went lifeless.