It was unusually cold during that night of October. It was the kind of weather that made people want to curl up in their blankets, lie on their beds and succumb into a deep yet peaceful slumber. Others would take the opportunity to cuddle with their loved one, feeling the warmth their body emits, whilst chatting exuberantly with cups of cocoa in their hands. Along the pavement lit up by the street lights came a long exasperated sigh emanated by a young lass named Sakura. Her hands were pocketed in her coat as she walked. Her cherry blossom colored hair was disheveled in all places with all her pulling out of frustration. Her feet were filled with blisters as a result of her long journey from the riverside. From the perspective of a passerby, one would view such sight as an exhausted student but once one is able to meet her in the eye, all impressions of such would dissipate. Her eyes were sagging, an evidence of exhaustion. Dried tear stains on her cheeks, a nose too red that would put Rudolph to shame and cheeks too rosy for the weather. She made no effort to fix her stature, sluggishly dragging her body towards her home. Thoughts clouded her mind, emotions flooding her system. 'What a mess she was,' she thought.
A mess. Yes, a mess indeed. She didn't know how things got this worse. Everything just went downhill ever since that day. Sadly, she still hasn't been able to find the right path. Reaching the front porch of her house, she fondled with her keys, unsure which was the right one. As the door opened, she was greeted with a warm hug from her younger brother. She stood still as her younger brother towered her in their embraced. Her vision blurred, tears began to brim her eyes. She wanted to speak, but she ended up choking on her words. She muffled a soft thank you and disentangled their embrace. She went straight to her room, crashing right away to her mattress. Groans and cries filled the room. Despite the comfort of the sheets she laid in, her emotions still outweighed them. She couldn't find the right words to say to anyone. She'd often end up sputtering nonsense with turning her face away abashedly. Her walls were too solid to be easily broken down by anyone. How gravely she wanted to let people in, but her defenses gave her no signal to do so. She stared mindlessly at the blank wall of her room, clutching to her stuffed bear tightly. She wanted the tears to stop flowing. She wanted the pain to cease. She wanted to feel something aside from hollowness. She wanted to be whole again. She's tired of living this way. When will it end?
The sound of her alarm awoke her from her slumber, hands rubbing her eyes. She felt the twisted feeling gurgling on her insides. What a bitter way to start the day. Forcing herself up from her bed, she stood in front of the bathroom's mirror. 'A horrendous sight,' she thought. Instantly, people's words started to echo in her mind. All the verbal abuse thrown at her, sickened looks flashed at her and issues made to weaken her. As each memory replayed, flames blazed through her chest. She felt herself burning with hurt. She wanted to cry for help, but her condition was inhibiting her from doing so. Like a volcano, thousands of emotions spewed from her system. 'This is sickening,' she said. Taking deep breaths, she tried her best to regain her composure. Luckily, she was able to calm herself even in the slightest way. Plastering a fake smile on her face, keeping up a façade, thus she proceeded in preparing herself to school.
Arriving five minutes before the bell rung, Sakura settled herself to her seat preparing the needed materials for the first subject. To pass some time, she got out her journal and started scribbling random words. It was an activity she found herself being fond of; a medium for calming herself. The day went by quite fast and soon she found herself packing up her things. It was time to go home. As she got up, she was stopped by from her tracks by a classmate of hers. He was a tall lad with stick thin build. His presence screamed out a jovial vibe and somehow tensed Sakura up. She didn't want any interaction with anyone, but somehow she can't escape from his grasp. Turning her head a little to give a better look of her appearance, the boy found himself smiling. However, the girl scrunched up her face in irritation. Time was fleeting and all she wanted was to isolate herself, but this person couldn't seem to go away.
"May I ask what you need from me?" Sakura had managed to say. She fondled with her hands feeling quite nervous with this human interaction. Despite how she loathed speaking, she felt quite happy speaking to the boy. She felt like this was a fresh page from a newly bought notebook.
"Aa. I may need to request something to you," he started, "Smile more often. It's a lovely sight to witness." With those words, he loosened his grip and started to walk away.
Sakura was stunned with his words. Blood rushing to her cheeks, she felt flattered yet abashed. She tried to cover her face with her hands until she heard a light chuckle. It came from the boy who'd spoken those words of compliment. He smiled at her sweetly and waved. Regaining her composure, she smoothened herself and ran towards him.
"Wait!" she called out, "I never got your name."
The boy smiled. And disappeared along with the wind. How bizarre.
Her encounter with the boy managed to plaster up a smile on her face. It was pleasant to experience something as lovely as that. It made her feel better about herself, until she realized it might just be some dare to mess her up. Foolishness was about to trick her into believing she had actual worth. How pathetic.
The following day came, and Sakura saw something bright on her chair. There was a folded neon colored sticky note placed on top. Bemused, Sakura opened the note and upon reading the text angered her. How gullible did the person think she was? She crumpled up the note and shoved it in her pocket. She spent the rest of the first half dazing off with thoughts questioning her existence. Actually life's existence. The bell rang, signaling it was already time for their lunch break. She made no move to get up and eat outside; instead she remained in her seat and got out her packed lunch. Eating outside was a drag, she'll end up being the center of attention for she was companion-less. Everything she did always turned out to be an eyesore to the people around her, regardless of her intentions. So she decided that the best company was herself. She secluded herself from the outside world, and remained in her own bubble. Her thoughts left a bad taste on her mouth, thus losing her appetite. She decided to return her packed lunch inside her bag and doze off instead.
"You shouldn't really skip lunch you know," a voice greeted. She didn't bother looking at the person who spoke to her. She just wanted to fade into nonexistence and remain there forever.
"Hello to you too," the person mused out loud. Irritated, she faced the person and found herself in shock. It was him. Struggling to get ahold of herself, she groaned and shooed the boy away. Like their first encounter, she failed to do so. "Are you ignorant or just plain dumb? Isn't being ignored a sufficient reason to walk away and carry on with your usual activities?" she snapped. All she wanted was to escape from reality's grasp. She wanted to remain inside her dreams, where figments of imagination aren't able to inflict any harm, where peace was existent.
"You're quite amusing when you're fuming," he said as he flashed her a toothy grin. It irked her off how elated the boy was despite her treatment towards him. 'He must've been dropped when he was an infant' she thought as she snorted. It seemed feasible. Her smile died down as she realized she had spoken the words out loud. How embarrassing. She looked away, avoiding his gaze.
"No, I wasn't dropped when I was an infant," he clarified, "But I do like the way you get all flustered. It looks cute on you." He winked. That simple action set off a turmoil of countless emotions from her, with anger as the reigning emotion. She took note of how he took advantage of her vulnerability and fooled her. Suddenly, she had her walls up. She made no plans of letting him close. If she could, she'd drive him far, far, far away.
"Leave me alone if you know what's good for you," she had warned. Rather than being intimidated, he gave her a wistful smile. A beautiful entity trapped inside a broken vessel. She lived herself in a world filled with doubts and lies. The only truth she believed in were from the words she says to herself. A hopeless case, she'd view herself, but for him there was hope.
"I'm sorry," he started, "I didn't mean to uproar such emotions from you. I only meant to offer you friendship. You'd always strike my eye and I couldn't help but be enamored by your existence. I bring no harm. That I promise."
Tears welled up in her eyes. She was in a state of calamity. His words captured her, making her want to accept his proposal, but her heart told her he was trouble. He'd only cause hurricanes and extinguish any sign of happiness among herself. She loathed how weak she was. She shouldn't put her facade down. Crying was a sign of vulnerability. This would only worsen up her name, as if it wasn't already tarnished enough. The boy had second thoughts about holding her close to him, but decided to do so despite the possible reactions he'd receive. Against her will, she allowed his embrace and gripped into her shirt as she muffled out her cries. She was beautifully broken beyond repair. She was a painful sight to gaze at; she didn't deserve to be in this kind of state. He started rubbing small circles on her back as an act of comfort. He whispered words of comfort in attempt to calm her fragile state. Surprisingly, he succeeded in doing so. He noticed the crumpled note on her pocket and reached for it. He unfolded it and grinned. "You're beautiful when you smile," he read out. He placed it on her delicate hands. "Remember that."
She couldn't help but giggle softly at his attempt of being sweet. She appreciated his actions. She decided he wasn't that bad after all.
"You're not bad after all," she said. He looked at her quite pleased. "But that doesn't guarantee you a yes on your offer," she muttered shy. Despite the way she worded out her statement, he knew she was starting to accept it. He'll make the most out of his chance. He'll be the light in her darkened alley.
"Sasuke," he said. "My name's Sasuke." With that he poked her forehead with two fingers and smiled.
Months passed by, Sakura and Sasuke's friendship progressed. Despite her constant neglecting of his presence, he remained. He'd always look out for her and fend off her thoughts. He'd often annoy her into sharing her emotions, even with the slightest information he was contented. He wasn't the friend who'd pester her until she caved in. He won't force her to be someone he wished her to be. He was the kind of person who'll approach you when he sees her uncomfortable. The kind of person who's aware that words aren't able to change the fact that she was depressed so he sits quietly in their silence and offer a shoulder to lean on. He understood the instances wherein she needed time to herself to sit and reflect. He understood that sometimes he didn't understand, that's why he didn't pressure her. He might often deny that the sticky notes filled with cheesy messages were from him, but she knew it was from him. He provided her the motivation she didn't give herself. He became the person she needed. And Sakura couldn't help but feel grateful.
He'd often take her to adventures. Visiting amusement parks in their local town, guffawing at their inexperience in playing the games. Sung on karaokes even if they both knew they possessed no talent in singing. Watching movies at the local theater. Laying down the riverside gazing at the stars. It all felt magical.
Things were sailing smoothly, until a night of another emotional breakdown. It wasn't one of the usual cries and overthinking. It was the kind of breakdown that made her into a lifeless life form. She became too numb to feel anything. She pushed away anyone regardless of how close they were. Any form of contact would enrage her, thus causing her to throw objects. She threw tantrums at even the slightest care. All she wanted was to be left alone and wallow how pitiful she was. She craved eternal rest. She was exhausted of pain. Happiness just fades away. Hollowness remains. It was all temporary. He'd leave. She knew he'll leave. She needed to cut off their ties before she was attached. Sadly, she already was.
She secluded herself to her room. Whenever he visited, she'd create outbursts that were done intentionally to hurt the intended person. Yet she failed. His will was sturdier. Regardless of how excruciating the actions she did, he remained. He did his best to understand her. He endured the pain. He knew he needed her. He had to. It might pass.
Months had passed, Sakura still acted the same. Her demons getting a better hold of herself. Little did she know she was succeeding. Sasuke was near the brink of his limitations. He was having troubles understanding her. He wanted to help her, but it seemed she didn't want it. With this he had decided.
"I think you need some time for yourself. I won't bother you anymore. I hope you got what you wanted. Be happy for me alright?" His voice had cracked. His heart ached as he uttered those words. She remained still at the foot of her bed. She stared at him as he stared at her. After a minute's silence, he got up and left.
The moment he walked away, was the moment everything came crashing down. She thought it was the best he stayed away. He'd only scar himself remaining by her side. She deserved no one. He'd only waste his time with her. He deserved a better friend. Not some deluded depressed freak. But why did it hurt so much? Why doesn't it feel right? How come it didn't give her the satisfaction she thought she'd feel? She'd yearn for his presence, but she knew he won't be there to soothe her. She ended up crying the whole night.
Waking up groggily, she knocked on the door of her younger brother. For the first time after her parents' death, she sought his presence and embraced him. She cried endlessly and told him her situation. She wanted to take back the words she had spoken, but she couldn't. It might be too late. He might not accept her in open arms. With this she had decided. She'd fix herself. She'll fight off her demons, and be the friend he deserved. She needed to fend off her own battles. It was time she gave herself a chance.
Sakura was determined to earn progress. She motivated herself to overcome her insecurities. For every doubt she gave herself, she reminded herself with the words he'd often say. She tried to live out a positive outlook in life. Whenever things got too rough, she didn't turn to sulking. She turned to God. She prayed. His habits were rubbing off on her. Whenever she was down, she prayed. Whenever she was lonely, she prayed. She thanked him for every day she was given. Truly, this young lass had blossomed.
With a nervous glance, Sakura forced herself to remain in front of the door. She shouldn't run away. She shouldn't throw away her progress. She mustered up the courage to ring the doorbell. A few seconds later, she was greeted by the tall raven haired boy she had longed her. They stared at each other for a minute's span, until Sakura opened her mouth.
"I'd like to apolo-" she was immediately cut off. Sasuke had pulled her in a tight embrace. Shocked, Sakura reciprocated the hug. She missed the warmth he emanated. She missed his constant nagging. She missed his constant annoyance and teases. She missed his smile. She had missed him. Being the way he was, he didn't demand an apology. He was merely contented with her presence. He knew she was alright, and that was what mattered. He was the one bit of truth in this world filled with lies. He was her salvation.