PleaseGetMeBackHomeIWillPayYouAnythingButMySoulBecauseINeedThat
By: Alexandria Bernard
Cody Gordon was a fourteen year old English boy with tanned skin, short brown curly hair and a set of stunning dark brown eyes. Cody lived in the foggy rainy city of London on a small street called "Baker". There were many different children that lived on Baker Street, aged twelve to fifteen and from all around the world. Every day at exactly 6:30 AM in the morning, Cody would wake up and grab one of the old wooden chairs downstairs in the kitchen while everyone was still sleeping and drag it up the stairs towards the highest point in the house - an old dusty attic that had been forgotten by everyone but him. Cody's father Brown Gordon would always tuck himself away in his office, typing out articles on his MacBook Pro which detailed instructions on "how to be a good father to your children." Cody's mother Violet Gordon would waste away her days taking care of his bothersome baby sister Sophia Ave Gordon. Sophia Ave was what many would call "the perfect child;" long golden blonde hair, extremely fair skin with eyes like the sky. An average human being might have called her an "angel sent from the heavens." Cody called her an annoying little worm that was sent from his nightmares. This was Cody's life and his routine. Cody had no interest in concerning himself with the other children, no, he'd would rather stay locked away in the attic where he would spend his days watching the clouds above and the people below. One cold windy day, Cody was doing his normal routine of being bored with life when he felt a pulling, sucking-like force behind him. Cody noticed the dust particles on the floor slowly being pulled behind him and disappearing. Cody had nothing else to do and as a normal curious boy would have done, he turned around. Behind Cody was the brightest light he'd ever seen – like the magnesium he'd burnt in his chemistry class – along with a massive suspended crack in the middle of the room. Cody had never felt this way before. No-one had probably felt this way before. The experience could have been explained like the confusing part of the story where you think you read the same sentence twice! Cody quickly stood up and felt his body being sucked towards the crack. Cody was an extremely smart boy – highest in all of his classes. He knew that the crack needed to be plugged somehow. So, like any good boy would have done, Cody reached for a large plank of old wood that was ever so conveniently lying on the floor beside him. He picked it up and hurled it straight into the crack. It disappeared from view quickly, although a "THWACK" alerted Cody to the fact that it had hit something. Or someone. "OI! Watch it kid! You can't just go and throw a piece of wood at some person unless you have a licence!"
Out stepped a tall, slender, middle-aged man with short brown curly hair and a strikingly handsome moustache. He wore a brown waistcoat with a green cravat and a rather strange metal like backpack. Cody stood there staring at this man. He thought that he might've looked like a pigeon that had been shot at by a Gatling gun.
"Now you, young sir, look like a rather dashing man. Do you mind pointing me near to your closes- PGMBHIWPYABMSBINT."
Say what? Cody felt like all his insides had just twisted into a huge knot and decided to all take a holiday, leaving him as an empty shell. He tried to open his mouth but all that came out was a girlish little cry that you might hear in some form of old melodramatic play.
"My dear boy! Are you ill? Let me tell you exactly who I am! I am the all mighty, not to mention dashingly handsome, Edgar Von Lucius! At your service Gov'na." Edgar then took a long bow. The smell of smoke and hard labour filled Cody's nose and shot straight to his brain.
"Alright… uh, sir… I'll try to get you back you home. Could you please repeat what you said about the… uh, place?" Cody had hoped that this would work so he could get this freak out of his house and out of his life.
"Sure my young man, it was the PGMBHIWPYABMSBINT." Edgar had replied while brushing his hair with his the tip of his fingers. Cody was still in shock. He had to ask another question to make sense of what this man was trying to tell him. Perhaps this was some elaborate prank pulled by his parents in an attempt to make him more social. Cody considered the possibilities. He was fairly certain that they'd put a strange gas in the room that would affect his brain and change his personality forever!
"What does that mean, exactly?" Cody asked.
"PleaseGetMeBackHomeIWillPayYouAnythingButMySoulBecauseINeedThat."
Cody felt like his head was spinning and that the person who had shot the pigeon with the Gatling gun was now trying to cook that pigeon. And Cody knew that he was the pigeon. He decided to help this man because, really, he had nothing better to do. His family wouldn't even care if he was gone or if he had left with a strange man he knew absolutely nothing about. By the time Cody had regained his senses, Edgar had already escaped the room and had gone looking for God knows what. After the long tiresome game of hide and sick, Cody found Edgar looking over Sophia's cot while slowly rocking it back and forth.
"She reminds me of my wife." Edgar whispered as Cody tentatively stepped towards Edgar.
"What is your wife like Edgar? Why isn't she with you?"
"She is terminally ill and has been hospitalized. The doctors doubt she'll live another month."
Edgar pulled out an old crumpled piece of paper from his waistcoat and passed it towards Cody. The photo was black and white and pictured a beautiful woman with a pearl necklace, long frilly dress and long wavy hair. Just like his sister, she was an "angel sent from heaven." Edgar slowly stood up and turned towards Cody with a massive goofy grin spread across his face.
"Let's go! It's never good to dwell on the past. Us humans must thrive towards the future!" Edgar stared at Cody while waiting patiently for an answer.
"Okay sir… we could try asking the post office for directions?"
Edgar and Cody quietly snuck out of the house while his family were busy working away. As the odd pair walked down the streets, another crack appeared near Cody's house. Edgar and Cody stood there and stared in shock as the crack only grew bigger and bigger. SUUP! The crack had completely sucked in the entire house only leaving the outer frame. Cody rushed towards his house – ex house? – and stared amongst the broken pieces of wall and wood. The only item remaining was the old wooden kitchen chair that Cody used to sit on. Cody slowly turned around towards Edgar, tears forming in his eyes as he charged towards Edgar as fast as his legs could carry him. Edgar knew it was all his fault. The two worlds had once co-existed perfectly in their own normal state but now they were colliding and the bloodless carnage that was resulting would be a lot for his young companion to take in. Cody screamed and Edgar couldn't blame the boy.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU'D NEVER COME, THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED!" Cody started to hit Edgar in his chest, pounding and screeching unintelligible words. Edgar stood there emotionless, physically unaffected by the boy's assault. Cody fell to the ground and curled up into a small ball. An hour had passed since he had first started hitting Edgar and Cody had just given up. All around him houses, trees and buildings were all missing. Massive cracks floating all around the street were sucking in everything and anything. Edgar slumped down towards Cody's height and spoke to him in a serious tone.
"Listen up boy. Instead of crying in a pool of your own tears like a baby with no mother, stand up! It's time to grow up. As soon as I get home, everything will go back to normal so cut your blathering!"
Cody slowly stood up and faced Edgar, trying to get ahold of himself.
"Okay, let's go," he murmured. They ran through the street, dodging multiplying cracks and ignoring the disappearing landscape. Cody watched as a small street cat was sucked into the crack.
"Sorry kitty, we will get you back home soon!"
Edgar raised his voice above the noise.
"We have to find the PGMBHIWPYABMSBINT, before the whole world is completely sucked into despair and is smashed all together!"
Cody replied, panting, "What does the thing look like?!"
Total silence filled the airas Cody waited for his reply.Edgar stopped in his tracks and stared into the ground for a few moments.
"I have no idea how to describe it."
At this point in time, Cody felt like all hope was lost and that Edgar might have been the most idiotic man he had ever met. Edgar sat down and gazed into the ground. The sound of sucking cracks were in the distance as the cold wind blew on their backs. As Edgar sat down, Cody decided to look around his once beautiful street. Sand was everywhere in every corner of the landscape, a plain boring landscape had left Cody missing everything he once had.
"I miss my father and mother… and maybe my flea bitten sister."
Edgar, at the time, had been drawing in the sand that surrounded them. Cody bent down beside Edgar and gazed numbly at the image. It was a massive bird of some sort.
"That is the PGMBHIWPYABMSBINT."
Edgar stood up and kicked the sand completely destroying the once stunning drawing.
"Come Cody, let's keep perusing this distasteful backdrop."
Cody and Edgar slowly trudged through the sand. It had been 2 hours of walking through the dessert-like terrain. The sun was beaming down onto them as the cracks in the distance grew closer and closer. To think that this street was once filled with green leaves but now replaced with so much sand. No, more like nothing.
"EDGAR! I need a break I can't handle this!"
Edgar quickly slowed down his pace to match Cody's who was struggling behind him.
"Okay, we can take a small break".
Cody and Edgar both fell to the ground feeling exhausted and thirsty. Edgar pulled off his backpack and opened it with some strange kind of key. He produced a transparent blob of some sort and drank it.
"What's that?" Cody lifted up his head to watch Edgar cautiously.
"You poor undeveloped child! It's water!"
Cody looked shocked and replied harshly, "I KNOW WHAT WATER IS! But what's the outer thingy?"
Edgar was now chewing on the container as he swallowed the thing whole.
"The "thingy" containing the water is a special compound made from brown algae andcalcium chloride. To put it in undeveloped child terms, it creates a gel around the blob of water which is completely edible. It replaced those plastic containers you call "bottles" way back, but then again, I've established twice that you are undeveloped!" Edgar threw the blob of water towards Cody, he gladly caught the blob and drank it whole.
"Don't forgot to eat it!" Edgar reminded him. Cody nodded and started to chew on the outer layer gel.
"It's kinda like chewing gum!" Cody remarked as he swallowed the gel.
"What in the blazes of my high blood pressure is chewing gum?" Edgar blurted out, obviously confused. A few moments of silence passed as they relaxed on the sand, taking time to gather their thoughts.
"Cody, what are your morals?"
Cody sat up and looked straight at Edgar who had taken off his waistcoat and loosened his cravat.
"Morals?" Cody asked as Edgar turned to face him.
"Of course! Morals! Standards of behaviour! Principles of right and wrong! You must have some morals boy! What is man without morality!?"
Cody fell back down onto the sand and gazed into the sky. He hadn't noticed how fast the day had gone – the sun had already set and a beautiful display of stars lit up the sky for them.
"Let me help you! I believe that you should never hurt anyone weaker than you. That's only one, of course."
During this moment, thoughts crashed through Cody's head. How was his family doing? Did they even notice the change? What would happens if they couldn't fix the world? It was like someone had just given him a test which he wasn't prepared for. Cody stood up and crawled over to Edgar's backpack. By time Cody had given up contemplating, Edgar had already fallen asleep beside him. Cody picked up the backpack, hoping to figure out exactly how it worked. It was more square than oval and had different gears stuck onto the front, which would often move occasionally. It was a little rusted and some parts were missing. Cody managed to unlock the bag somehow. Inside was a surplus of that strange blob Edgar had shared with him. Cody looked deeper into the bag and found a golden box that fit into the palm of his hand. As he pulled it out it started glowing and shaking.
"EDGAR! WAKE UP!"
Cody shook Edgarviolently. The small box grew larger and larger.
"EDGAR! WAKE UP!"Cody cried again as the box rose to a metre in height.
"EDGAR!"
"Not now Cody, I'm trying to fight goblins, play the violin and bake an angel food cake for my dear wife. All at the same time of course naturally."
When Edgar finally awoke, the box was nearly the size of an eight storey building. The box 'clicked' and sand blew away, covering Edgar entire face and Cody's feet. The box turned pitch black and now only one single title grew white and started blinking.
"Cody, what is the meaning of awaking me from my slumber? BY THE GRAND QUEEN OF ENGLAND AND EARL GREY TEA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Edgar jumped up and ran towards the box at top speed, stumbling a few times. Cody followed him. Edgar pushed the small white glowing title. The massive box completely unravelled itself to give birth to a small black egg.
"THIS IS GOING TO BE INVIGORATINGLY SHOCKING WITHOUT DOUBT!" Edgar had murmured aloud, jumping with anticipation. The egg finally cracked and out burst a massive black creature, eyes the size of basket balls, wings like a jumbo jet plane and massive black feathers everywhere. It glared down at Edgar and started nuzzling him.
"GOOD FLUFFY!" Edgar sang out as he started to scratch and pet the massive beast.
"THAT THING IS GOING TO EAT US ALIVE AND THEN FEED US TO ITS BABIES!" Cody cried as he prepared to run far, far away. Edgar held him back by the tip of the hood.
"Don't you see young boy, this is the PGMBHIWPYABMSBINT!" The "thing" gave a massive squawk as it spread it wings outwards displaying the massive wing span.
"THAT'S JUST A RAVEN! A REALLY HUGE ONE!"
The creature peered into Cody's soul.
"My word! This is not a raven! It's actually a Corax Lepus Jubatus.PGMBHIWPYABMSBINT for short."
Cody slowly placed his hand on the large beast. Its black majestic feathers was actually soft fur. Cody looked behind the massive beast and saw a long slender tail with a small tuff at the end. The creature also seemed to have another set of legs in the front to act as arms. The claws were actually paws that ended with a long sharp talon and bunny-like ears pointed backwards from the creature's head. It bent down towards Edgar as he climbed on top. The wings of the massive creature started flapping with huge force as it slowly took off the ground. The sand swept all around Cody, spinning around him like a tornado. Edgar and the creature were far off the ground now. Cody could see Edgar waving.
"BY THE TIME I GET HOME, EVERYTHING SHOULD BE FINE! JUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES AND LONG LIVE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!"
The creature took off at such a speed that Cody was flung onto the ground. It disappeared into the sky before he had a chance to say goodbye. Cody made his way back home, noticing houses reappearing and trees emerging from the earth. Finally, Cody arrived home. He opened the door, walked past Sophia's cot, passed his dad's office, passed the kitchen and climbed the stairs. He turned the familiar door handle and made his way to the chair. He sat down and stared into the window, watching as everyone continued their everyday lives like nothing had happened.
"I never told him my name," Cody wondered to himself. "How did he know?"
The End