Over the Garden Fence, and Who Alice Met There Chapter 1: The Two Monkeys.
Alice was working hard in the garden to pull the weeds out of the flowerbed. It was a hot Summer's day; and she desperately wanted a drink in the shade. But her older sister had instructed that she do it, so she had no choice. But as the hot sun pressed on she felt herself struggling to stay awake.
Suddenly a small black cat darted across her line of vision, leaving tiny little paw prints in the flowerbed. Alice scowled in annoyance.
"Oh now look what you've done Kitty," she said. "You've messed up the flower bed. Get back here and apologies at once." Kitty, somehow sensing that he was in the doghouse, took off in a flash. With a quick hop and a bounce he'd climbed up the tree and over the fence.
Alice let out another scowl of annoyance and chased after him. She so hated it when the cats ran away from her when she was talking. It was so rude. She paused briefly to wonder whether climbing trees was the Proper Thing for little girls to do.
"But if I wasn't a little girl, but a little boy, then I can climb as many trees as I like," she thought. "So if anyone finds me I'll just tell them I'm a little boy and that I'm allowed to climb trees. Besides, rules can be broken when you're doing a good deed." With her mind made up she climbed up the tree and over the fence, nimbly dropping down onto the other side.
She'd never gone over the fence before, for it bordered a large forest. However Kitty wouldn't have gotten far, the little bell on his collar giving his position away. But no matter how fast she tried to run, Kitty would somehow always be ahead. Soon she was quite out of breath, straining to hear the bell that was slowly getting fainter. It sounded like it was coming from all around her.
"Oh come now Kitty," she said. "This is most rude of you. You can't walk away from someone when they're talking."
"Quite right," said a voice. Alice turned to see that there was a monkey hanging from a nearby tree. She'd seen a monkey when her parents had taken her to the zoo, but this one was certainly quite different. For one it was wearing a waistcoat. Another was the top hat on its head.
"Why hello there," said Alice, politely curtsying. "What is your name?"
"I am the body of the Monkey," said the Monkey. "And I'm sure you'll want to meet my Mind."
"I very much would," said Alice curiously. She'd never meet a Mind before, let alone a monkey's. The Monkey smiled and raised it's top hat, to reveal a very furry head. However there didn't seem to be anything there.
"I'm afraid I can't see your Mind," said Alice.
"Of course not," said the Monkey. "You can't see something that isn't there. That'd just be silly."
"So where is he?"
"Why, he's there of course?" Alice's brow furrowed in confusion. How could something be there and yet not be there?
"It is quite simple," said the Monkey, swinging to another tree. "There are material things in the world that are physical, are there not? Like you and me and bananas, yes?"
"Yes," agreed Alice, since it made sense.
"Well there are also mental things that aren't physical, that have to do with spirits. Like your soul, or my Mind."
"Well I suppose so," said Alice. "I've never seen my soul."
"Well why would you? It doesn't physically exist, thus you can't see or feel it. But it's still there."
"It is? Why?"
"Because I say that it is. And I'd be mad if I didn't have my Mind."
"Oh, so what does your Mind do?" asked Alice politely.
"Do? It does nothing? It can't do anything, can it. If it could, then it'd be physical."
"So your Mind can't do anything physical?"
"Correct. It's a good thing my body can do all the mental stuff that's needed."
"Then why do you think your Mind exists?" said Alice.
"Because it does. And it effects me."
"But you said that your Mind couldn't effect you."
"Of course it does. It just does so in non-physical ways so you can't detect that it does it."
"That doesn't prove whether it's real or not though," argued Alice. "How can you say that your Mind does things to your body, but you can't see how it does it. How do you know it isn't your body that does it and your Mind does nothing?"
"Well I don't see why you're getting so upset," said the Monkey. "It's not like you exist."
"What?" said Alice. "Of course I exist."
"Really? You could just be a figment of my imagination. I don't see your Mind, how do I know you have one?"
"I have a Mind. It's in my head."
"Really? How cramp it must be in there. At least my hat is big enough to contain it. But how do I know you're actually thinking?"
"Because I say I am," said Alice angrily. She was starting to find this whole conversation rather silly.
"Ah, but you might just be saying that because I think that's what you should say. You can't prove to me that you aren't a figment of my imagination."
"Well you might be a figment of mine," said Alice. "I find it very hard to believe that a waistcoat-wearing Monkey could be walking about."
"And I find it very hard to believe a young girl is walking around my home. Why would a young girl come here? It's positively mad."
"I'm here to find my lost cat," said Alice.
"Well I'm afraid I haven't seen it," said the Monkey. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm running late." He was about to leave, but stopped and turned back.
"Where did you say you kept your Mind?" he asked.
"In my brain," said Alice.
"I see. And what happens in your brain gets damaged?"
"I don't know," admitted Alice. "I assume that if I lost half my brain I could only remember half of what I need to. Why do you ask?"
"Well perhaps when the brain gets damaged, the Mind has to learn to work with the lesser tools. Like how you have to learn how to use a typewriter that has no 'h' key, so you avoid using words that have a 'h' in them. The Mind compensates for the amount of physical effects it can influence."
"Well I'll keep that in mind," said Alice.
"Oh, I'm very sure you will," grinned the Monkey before swinging away, leaving Alice all alone.
"What a very silly Monkey," thought Alice. "Thinking that things aren't real could do real things. Now, where did Kitty go."