"Raging Bully, Bub."
Disclaimers: I do not own Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh's Phineas and Ferb – one of the best animated television series ever – neither do I own Marvel's (more specifically) Len Wein, John Romita Sr. and Herb Trimpe's Wolverine – one of the best comic book characters ever… (No infringement is intended…)
This story took place JUST RIGHT before the Amazing Spider-Man "Birthday Boy", not that any of you non-Marvel fans would care…
Logan's POV:
Googolplex Mall… a combination of words that belong to two categories: nerds and… er… geeks.
I mean… it is said that the name Googolplex comes from the mathematical term meaning 1 followed by a googol (10100) of zeros (1010100). I said: BORING.
I have strolled around the mall, bought and ate the corn dog from the Mr. Slushy Dawg, ate the cheeseburger from the slushy burger, meeting their Clown…
Flashback:
Clown: Pickles so green,
and meat so brown,
Lunchtime's fun with
Slushy the Clown! What do you think of the jingle, Sir?
Logan: ('snikt!') What do you think…? Bub?
Now:
As what exactly happened to the poor tubby, I leave it to your imagination.
Everything here is perfectly normal and so… peaceful. A perfect place for my…
(c'mon, say it.) birthday. Well, I wouldn't so sure about PERFECTLY NORMAL. A minute ago, I walked passed through a platypus… yes, a teeny, weeny platypus… wearing a fedora hat and walking hurriedly on its 2 feet. "Indiana Jones' pet?" I smothered a snort. Then, it shot a murderous stare at me. Reflexively, I unsheathed my claws 'snikt!' and it reflexively took off 2… sticks… and made an Eskrima stance… That's a Filipino martial art, by the way.
"…"
We just stared at each other I finally whispered to it… since I thought it couldn't possibly speak (or could it?) "You don't tell anyone about this… and I ain't gonna do nothing, deal?" it made a thumb up and finally walked through me, went to the drinking machine, tapped its right, otter foot to it (I can't exactly see it) and it just vanished. "Last time I'm gonna encounter the strangest thing on Earth,"
I was SO wrong…
Meanwhile…
Phineas and Ferb's POV:
"Well, THAT was an interesting experiment…" Phineas mused. He and his stepbrother Ferb were performing an experiment to see how long it takes for the top scoop of to melt off of a double scoop ice cream cone. "Um, excuse me..." Baljeet, who was sitting next to Phineas asked him, "but why aren't you studying...?" "It's summer vacation! You know? No school... when you don't have to worry about bullies and teachers are not around and..." Well, the latter was true... but the former was not... as out of nowhere the big, fat Buford who wore the Punisher T-shirt sat next on Phineas ... literally sitting on Baljeet... who immediately drank Baljeet's milk shake, threw it away and hit it accidentally on... WOLVERINE'S FACE!
Logan's POV:
Oh, why, he son of a 'bleep', not on my 'bleep'ing birthday and my 'bleep'ing face. That 'bleep' is so 'bleep'ing dead.
Phineas and Ferb's POV:
"Hey, Buford! That seat is kinda taken." Phineas said nonchalantly... he didn't know of the meaning RUN AWAY FROM BULLIES. "This table is taken, go seat somewhere else..." Buford growled. "But what about Baljeet?" Phineas inquired, pointing Baljeet with his scoop of ice cream. Accidentally, the Phineas accidentally drops his last scoop of ice cream on Buford's pants, making everyone in the food court laugh. "I hate you!" Buford whimpered. Then, he snagged on Phineas' shirt and snarled, "This... is GONNA hurt!"
"HEY! Put him down!" Isabella yelled, and Baljeet said, "Violence can only lead to MORE violence,"
"Sounds good to me." Buford snorted.
"Hold it, Bubs!" And everyone gasped in awe.
"NEW AVENGERS' and X-MEN'S WOLVERINE?!"
"Aren't you a little too old to be a super-hero?" Phineas asked. Ferb once said that he was born in the late 1800s.
Logan rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yes. Yes, I am..."
Phineas and Buford looked at each other, forgetting that they are bully and bullied, and exclaimed, "COOL!"
"If you two want to fight," Logan said, "Do it at 3 o'clock... I wanna watch you two fight,"
"But, why 3?" Buford asked, "I'm listening to this nice lady who is playing jazz." Logan answered. ("Oh, It's Mum." Phineas whispered to Ferb.)
"Hey, Ferb, how's our 3 o'clock?" Ferb quickly looked at his schedule and nodded... "We'll be there!" Phineas said. "Don't be late! My Dad is picking me up at 4!" Buford warned him, and walked away...
"Ferb, I know what we are gonna do today!" Phineas said catch-phrase.
"What you gonna do is suicide!" Baljeet said. "He's right! Remember what happened to the last guy who fought Buford?" Isabella reminded Phineas.
Flashback:
The-Last-Guy-Who-Fought-Buford: (head dunked on the toilet) you win this round, Buford...
Now:
"I don't want that to happen to you..." "It won't happen because Wolverine is gonna train me!" Phineas said confidently.
"WHAT?!" Logan yelled. "But I was gonna..." But the whole mall had already been filled with cheers of "Wolverine! Wolverine! Wolverine!" and Logan sighed and said, "Ah, okay..."
To Be Continued.