Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the character Severus Snape. I don't own anything relating to the series, I'm not getting mulaah, I'm just writing this. 'Catalina' belongs to Devils Demon.

Rating: PG-13 or higher...(if you think I should've changed the rating PLEASE PLEASE just tell me to change it and don't flame me)

Summary: Severus reflects on prior actions. One-shot.

Forbidden Company

If not for the fact that there was mop of brown hair, graced by green and purple stripes, placed randomly on his couch, Severus would have just dropped his items on his desk and kept to his tasks of being a professor. But instead he walked over to find her fast asleep on said couch. She always did this, always fell asleep in his private rooms, and he'd always come in to have to wake her up and send her back to the common rooms. Where He could find her and give her false comfort that she didn't need- not from him at least. Sirius didn't deserve her as anything, not in Sev's mind, and especially not in the world.

Severus mildly wondered what could've been the cause this time? Perhaps a group of boys were mocking her heritage yet again? Falling from the astronomy tower with no Catalina to joke with her. Or maybe this was another one of those rare nights, were she came in here after having a break down over the loss of a family she never knew. How her best friend, her Catalina's getting married and she feels she's loosing herself. Or how she envies the girls who are watched by the boys and once or twice the girls watched by Sirius.

A scowl found its usual place on his face. Why'd he even care that she wondered if Sirius was interested. Why did it have to bug him to know that she would be with Sirius a fraction more, if not for the constant detentions he gave her. Did it even matter at all? No, of course not, at least it shouldn't at all. It was to late for him, it was a mistake for him to have done such a thing.

Severus had to keep reminding himself that being a professor had more benefits than shortcomings. He had a steady income, a place to call home, and he could at the very least see her. But seeing her didn't compare to being with her. He thought bitterly as he ran his fingers through her tie-dyed hair. It didn't compare in the least to how soft her skin was. How she could taste so sweet when they had kissed. The way it had tickled to feel her harsh breathing against his throat. The nips, bites, licks, and scratches that ensued marking both pale and tan. To how it felt to have her cling to him as if she were helpless but in fact he had felt no power during that act of passion. To hear how she had gasped his name, as he had panted hers. Nothing about being a professor could compare to it.

Unless you counted how it felt when he couldn't look at her, just to make sure no one would think anything had happened. Yes, the downfall of having her and being a professor. It wasn't right. She was a student; people would accuse her and him of horrible things. Rumors would start over how she accomplished her grades, as well as who else would be getting special treatment for certain acts. He had to keep her safe. It had hurt to watch her leave tears forming, but not falling, from her lovely brown eyes. However, it would hurt more to watch her be thrown out of his class, this school - just to be able to call her his out loud.

Pulling out of his daze, Severus brushed his lips against her cheek; as he always did, and nudged her roughly wake. "It's time for you to go to your quarters." Her eyes fluttered open with a flash of emotions: drowsy, annoyance, shock and then an emotion he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge. As the pain that seemed to always follow these moments between them started he couldn't even hold back his sharp "Return to your quarters now. I don't want excuses, just go." that passed his lips.

She mumbled another apology as she slipped off of the couch. Her hurried footsteps boomed in his ears as she pulled open the door. He didn't miss the little glance she sent over her shoulder, as if knowing and hoping he didn't mean his harsh words. He had to get her out of here, out of his quarters, out of his thoughts, out of his bleak life. "Did I stutter? Go, run to Sirius, to your little house friends. Just leave now. Are you suggesting perhaps I remove points from your house?"

That was enough. The hope that was there quickly replaced with shock then hurt and what he hoped was hate. Hate he could handle, he and hate and been close companions for the longest time- far longer than some wishful-thinking relationship could ever dream last. She rushed out the door not looking back. Severus sighed. Walking over to a now familiar cabinet, opening a rust-colored bottle and settled into the still warm spot she had laid. This was all he needed he told himself: a glass, a shot, and quiet. And even though he forced himself to conceal the thought: her scent still lingering on the couch's surface.