Neither Does the Rain
by misscam/Camilla Sandman
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my words.
Author's Note: Written on a prompt from helen_halliwell, who wanted arguing and making up in the rain. I kinda included the making out of my own volition. Set after episode 19, "Course Correction".
II
It doesn't rain all that often in California, but of course the skies are opening the moment Olivia steps out of the car. Perhaps it's another sign what she is doing is a bad idea, but she still can't make herself open the door to get back into the car.
The rain is light as she runs through it, her pace slowing as she spots Lloyd leaning against the door of his car. He's clearly been waiting, and his eyes and smile light up the moment he sees her.
She almost wants to curse at him for that, even as she smiles back and closes the last distance between them. It doesn't make it easier that he looks at her as if she is dear to him. It doesn't make it easy at all that she wants to look at him the same way.
"Hey," he says warmly, for a moment looking like he might kiss her. Instead he touches her cheek with two fingers, his knuckles moving against her skin softly.
"Hi," she says.
"Sorry about last night," he says after a moment, lowering his hand. "Mark came to tell me Simon has disappeared. He might actually be involved in orchestrating the blackout."
"Oh," she says. She certainly wasn't expecting this, and she can't help but touch his hand comfortingly.
"I thought he was a friend," Lloyd goes on after a moment. "Feels like I don't know anything any more."
She laughs a little hollowly, and he looks at her. "I know the feeling."
"Olivia..." he begins, but she waves it off and he bites down on his lips and keeps silent.
"I swore to Mark I wouldn't cheat on him," she says. "I swore you meant nothing to me. I said I'd do anything to save my marriage. When I saw Mark in the doorway yesterday..."
She trails off, not sure how to explain the moment of horror and realisation both. She is a liar. The words intended to be true are now lies. This man has made her a liar.
She should hate him. She can't. She can't stop feeling quite the opposite for him. Can't stop falling for him.
"I'm sorry," he says sincerely.
She shakes her head, noting briefly that the rain seems to have picked up. It doesn't matter. "You're not."
He blinks a little. "Of course I am. I never meant you any inconvenience, Olivia."
"Don't lie, Lloyd," she says sharply. "You always looked at me like you meant..."
"Meant what?" he asks, his voice a little ragged as it rises. "You saved my son's life. You helped me reach out to him. You were kind when everyone else was condemning me. You were in my flashforward and I knew you were important to me. We were together. How should I l-look at you?"
"I was barely civil to you," she points out. "I avoided you. I avoided your son."
"Under the circumstances, I don't blame you," he says, and something in her seems to scream a little.
"Stop being so reasonable! Stop being such a good guy!" she snaps. "Just... Just stop, Lloyd, I can't hate you when you..."
"I don't want you to hate me," he says, shaking his head slightly; it makes the rain trickle down from his hair. "I w-want you to..."
"Don't!" she breathes, pushing a hand against his chest, as if that will stop what she's feeling for him.
"I can't," he says with equal force, putting a hand on hers. "I stayed away from you. I was the good guy. You came to me, Olivia. You keep coming to me."
"I know," she says bitterly, the words tasting like ash in her mouth.
"I can't pretend I'm not happy you do," he goes on, licking his lips slightly, leaving just one drop of water clinging to his upper lip. She wants to lick it off herself, and she bites down on her lower lip so hard she thinks it might bruise.
"You don't have anything to lose!" she says hotly, clinging on to her anger life a life-raft; she can't drown in all these other emotions.
"Yes, I do," he says, and she only has time to draw a breath to argue it before he goes on. "You. I could lose y-you."
She stares at him, the rain streaking his face with water and his eyes as dark as the sky above.
"You don't have me," she says, but she's stepping closer even as she does. She is drowning, everything in her seeming to rise.
"But I know in one probable future, I did," he says angrily. "Olivia, I..."
She moves before she can think, almost biting down on his lower lip as she swallows his words in a kiss. A heartbeat, and his hand supporting her neck as he leans down slightly to meet the force of her kiss with his own. His nose is pressing hard against hers before he tilts his head slightly and his tongue is brushing against hers as she parts her lips. She can taste a faint lingering trace of orange juice, and the cool of rain without knowing if it comes from her or him. Maybe it's from both, like everything else in this situation is.
His breath is very hot across her lips as he kisses the side of her mouth, and she turns her head a little blindly to keep his lips close to hers.
"I'm sorry," she mouths against his lips, and he kisses her so gently it makes her ache. She frames his head in her hands, the rain trickling gently between her fingers. It doesn't matter they're both getting soaked, not in this moment. It might matter later, like her marriage to Mark will. But not right now.
They're both falling, she thinks, and can't stop it any more than they can stop the rain from falling. Too much momentum now. Too much gravity.
"Olivia," he whispers, and they both stand very still as the spring rain pours down around them; the rest of the world raining away. She isn't sure what she is trying to say, but he seems to get it anyway, nodding slightly.
When she kisses him again, she doesn't stop; neither does the rain.
FIN